Random News: July 17, 2024

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s July 17, 2024, and it’s a Wednesday. I knew this summer was going to be kinda crazy, but I also have the feeling we haven’t nearly hit peak craziness yet. I’m going to do what I do, which is to keep calm and try to stay somewhat objective about the events that unfold around us.

• I’m going to start today’s news roundup by being Captain Obvious.
• In a typical presidential election, let’s face it: you don’t really care that much about the VP choice, nor should you.
• I’ll quote the 32nd vice president of the United States, John Nance Garner, who served as VP under FDR from 1933 to 1941.
• Garner famously stated that the office of vice president as being, and I quote, ”Not worth a bucket of warm piss.”
• Hahahahaha. Vice presidents don’t have many actual responsibilities, though in recent times with both Mike Pence and Kamala Harris, have served the rare role of being a tie-breaker in the Senate.
• Regardless, this time is very different. I find it extraordinarily likely that neither Joe Biden nor Donald Trump will be alive on January 20, 2029, when the next term ends. They would respectively be 86 and 83 years old.
• It’s not out of the range of possibilities for either of them to live that long, but given the high stress of the job and other factors, no one should be surprised when the inevitable happens.
• The current average lifespan of an American male is 76.3 years. Both of these guys are already well beyond that.
• That means when you vote for either Biden or Dumpy in November, you are also casting a vote for their respective VP, who have a high likelihood of accepting the presidency if and when their boss dies.
• So you really are voting for Kamala Harris or J. D. Vance, and in coming days and weeks, we’re going to be learning and discussing a lot more about both of them right here.
• For the moment, I have a Fun Fact for you: Donald Trump hates it when men wear wedding rings because he thinks it shows they’re “pussy-whipped.” True story.
• So his VP pick J. D. Vance, who at least on the surface seems committed in his relationship with his wife Usha, immediately stopped wearing his ring.
• I assume all the women who support Trump will also tell their husbands to remove their wedding ring, right? Right? Hello? Anyway, there’s the role model for pro-family men with Christian values.
• Another Fun Fact: Donald Trump’s Project 2025 would change the 40-hour workweek to a 160-hour work-month. What’s the difference?
• Simple. Your boss could make you work extra hours with no overtime pay by cutting your hours later in the month. Don’t believe me? See Project 2025 page 592.
• Moving on.
• President Biden is finalizing plans to endorse major changes to the Supreme Court in the coming weeks, including proposals for legislation to establish term limits for the justices and an enforceable ethics code.
• That’s pretty huge. He’s also weighing whether to call for a constitutional amendment to eliminate broad immunity for presidents and other constitutional officeholders.
• When he was a Senator, Biden was chair of the Senate Judiciary Committee, and has long resisted calls to make substantive changes to the high court.
• But these potential changes come in response to growing outrage about ethics scandals surrounding Justice Clarence Thomas, and decisions by the new court majority that have changed legal precedent on issues including abortion and federal regulatory powers.
• The proposals are a long shot because a constitutional amendment or congressional action — two routes that would likely be needed — are next to impossible in the current political climate.
• Regardless, stay tuned on that one… could be a really important shift in American government.
• In other news about the president, Biden was in fine form at the NAACP convention in Las Vegas. He was riffing on Dump’s reference to “Black jobs” during the debate.
• Dumpy had stated that illegal immigrants were coming into the country to take the “Black jobs,” meaning manual labor and other low-skilled, low-paying positions.
• “Trump says ‘Black jobs.’ It tells a lot about the man, and about his character. Folks, I know what a Black job is — it’s the vice president of the United States,” Biden said to a roaring crowd. “I know what a Black job is — it’s the first Black president in American history, Barack Obama.”
• And then the audience broke into a standing ovation when he offered praise for Vice President Harris. “She’s not only a great vice president, she could be president of the United States,” Biden said.
• Fuck yes she could. And I’m glad Joe openly acknowledged it.
• Our next topic illustrates one of the key differences between the liberal folks and their conservative/MAGA counterparts.
• Yesterday, Senator Bob Menendez, a New Jersey Democrat, was convicted on all counts in a federal bribery trial that involved three New Jersey businessmen and the governments of Egypt and Qatar. 
• He’d been charged with 16 counts in the indictment that alleged the longtime politician was engaged in a wide-ranging corruption scheme in which he promised to aid Egypt in various ways and tried to pressure a top Department of Agriculture official to protect a monopoly the country awarded to a halal certification startup. 
• And other crimes.
• Do we liberals rush to his aid or try and defend him because he’s a Democrat? No, we don’t. We’re happy that this piece of shit got caught and was convicted.
• Let’s move on.
• Hey, remember that independent candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr.? The guy whose brain was partially eaten by a worm?
• Welp.
• RFK Jr. issued an apology yesterday after his son shared a video of a phone call between him and Dumples the Clown, who tried to persuade Kennedy to endorse him.
• ”When President Trump called me I was taping with an in-house videographer," Kennedy wrote. "I should have ordered the videographer to stop recording immediately. I am mortified that this was posted."
• In the video, Dumpy is heard through Kennedy's speakerphone, agreeing with Kennedy's bullshit sentiments about vaccines before trying to coax the independent candidate into endorsing his campaign.
• Then Dump tried to hire him. "I would love you to do something. And I think it'll be so good for you and so big for you," said the Dump Man over the phone.
• Snort.
• In other news…
• I haven’t spent any time talking about Elmo Muck and his little social media platform in recent months. Frankly, leaving the app formerly known as Twitter, and using Threads as my microblogging platform of choice, was a terrific decision that’s made me a happier person.
• But I do want to note that now that Elmo has gone 100% MAGA and has pledged to give Dumples $45 million each month (I’m not at all kidding), it’s just something to think about before you buy that next Tesla or support any company that advertises on his little dead bird social media thing.
• That money will help enact Project 2025. Just a thought. If you’re a woman who buys a Tesla, who might be finding the process in which your right to vote is removed. Just something to consider.
• In other Elmo news, he had a tantrum because — as I mentioned yesterday — my state, California, has a new law that bans school districts from passing policies requiring schools to notify parents if their child asks to change their gender identification. 
• Elongated Muskrat called it the final straw and announced yesterday afternoon that he would be moving the headquarters of both his social media company X and SpaceX to Texas.
• SpaceX, located 10 minutes north of here in Hawthorne, will move to Starbase, Texas. X will relocate from San Francisco to Austin.
• Texas, you can have him. 
• And now, some news I didn’t want to see when I awoke yesterday morning.
• Headline: “Jack Black Cancels Tenacious D Tour After Kyle Gass’ Controversial Trump Comment”
• Ugh.
• What happened? Well… it was Kyle’s 64th birthday this weekend, and they were on tour in Australia. Jack brought out a cake for Kyle and asked him if he had a birthday wish.
• And Kyle said the first thing that came to his head, which was, “Don’t miss Trump next time.” Yikes!
• I mean, I understand. Kyle is funny and he threw out the first thing that came to his head, unfiltered. That’s generally a bad idea in a giant room full of people from differing opinions and backgrounds. And the right-wing politicians in Australia picked it up and ran with it to make it a big issue.
• Yesterday, JB posted, “I was blindsided by what was said at the show on Sunday. I would never condone hate speech or encourage political violence in any form. After much reflection, I no longer feel it is appropriate to continue the Tenacious D tour, and all future creative plans are on hold. I am grateful to the fans for their support and understanding.”
• KG apologized as well. “The line I improvised onstage Sunday night in Sydney was highly inappropriate, dangerous and a terrible mistake. I don’t condone violence of any kind, in any form, against anyone. What happened was a tragedy, and I’m incredibly sorry for my severe lack of judgement. I profoundly apologize to those I’ve let down and truly regret and pain I’ve caused.”
• Some of you don’t know this, but Tenacious D had a profound effect on my life. Kat Claxton and I met over 20 years ago as a direct result of the D. So, hopefully this doesn’t mean the end of them as a band.
• Sigh.
• Little side note: don’t you find it strange that today, four days since the first assassination attempt on a president or former president in more than four decades, and we still don't have any info from medical experts who have examined Donald Trump? No interviews, no press conferences, no statements. Nothing.
• Hmm.
• Any news from the Republican National Convention? Well, Rudy Giuliani fell down into some folding chairs, and some out-of-state cops shot and killed a homeless guy for reasons that are unclear.
• That’s all.
• And now, The Weather: “Hot Sun” by Wilco
• It’s hot in many places across the USA. In Washington, D.C., it’s making history. They reached at least 101 degrees for a third-straight day yesterday, matching the longest such streak on record.
• But it’s the heat index, which factors in humidity, which is fucking people up. It registered as high as 108 yesterday.
• Rest in peace to former NBA player Joe "Jellybean" Bryant, the father of Hall of Famer Kobe Bryant. Joe died yesterday at 69.
• He’d recently suffered a massive stroke.
• I remember watching Joe when I was a young basketball fan in the late ‘70s. He played parts of eight seasons in the NBA with the Sixers, Clippers, and Rockets. He was a member of the 1976-77 Sixers team that lost to the Trail Blazers in the NBA Finals.
• From the Sports Desk… MLB’s All-Star Game was last night. The American League beat the National League 5-3 
• Boston Red Sox center fielder Jarren Duran, a first-time All-Star in his second season, completed the AL's comeback with a two-run homer off Cincinnati Reds pitcher Hunter Greene.
• Side note from a Dodgers fanboy: Shohei Ohtani smashed a 400-foot, three-run homer against Red Sox right-hander Tanner Houck to open the scoring in the third inning. It was his first career All-Star Game home run, and only the second by a Dodgers player since Mike Piazza did it in 1996.
• Today in history… Damasus II is elected pope and dies 23 days later (1048). King George I of Great Britain sails down the River Thames with a barge of 50 musicians, where George Frideric Handel's Water Music is premiered (1717). The Kingdom of Spain cedes the territory of Florida to the United States (1821). Harvard School of Dental Medicine, the first dental school in the U.S. that is affiliated with a university, is established in Boston, MA (1867). Willis Carrier creates the first air conditioner in Buffalo, NY (1902). Tsar Nicholas II of Russia and his immediate family and retainers are executed by Bolsheviks (1918). The main three leaders of the Allied nations, Winston Churchill, Harry S. Truman and Joseph Stalin, meet in the German city of Potsdam to decide the future of a defeated Germany (1945). Disneyland is dedicated and opened by Walt Disney in Anaheim, CA (1955). An American Apollo and a Soviet Soyuz spacecraft dock with each other in orbit marking the first such link-up between spacecraft from the two nations (1975). The opening of the Summer Olympics in Montreal (1976). The national drinking age in the United States was changed from 18 to 21 (1984). First flight of the B-2 Spirit Stealth Bomber (1989). 
• July 17 is the birthday of US vice president Elbridge Gerry (1744), businessman/philanthropist John Jacob Astor (1763), actor James Cagney (1899), TV/radio host Art Linkletter (1912), actress/comedian Phyllis Diller (1917), physicist Gordon Gould (1920), pianist/composer Vince Guaraldi (1928), actress/singer Diahann Carroll (1935), actor Donald Sutherland (1935), singer-songwriter/guitarist Spencer Davis (1939), NFL player Daryle Lamonica (1941), singer-songwriter/keyboardist Zoot Money (1942), UK queen Camilla (1947), guitarist/composer Ron Asheton (1948), bass player/composer Geezer Butler (1949), singer-songwriter Phoebe Snow (1950), actor David Hasselhoff (1952), singer-songwriter Nicolette Larson (1952), German chancellor Angela Merkel (1954), actor Alex Winter (1965), singer-songwriter/musician Lou Barlow (1966), author/activist Cory Doctorow (1971), DJ/producer Darude (1975), and NHL player Connor Bedard (2005).

I’ll tell you the same thing I’ve been saying a lot lately: do not despair. There’s a lot going on in a situation that’s rapidly in flux, and you don’t know what the next step is going to be. None of us really know what’s going to happen, which is, in and of itself, stressful. But the one thing you can control is yourself and your reactions. Stay tough! I believe in you. Enjoy your day.