Random News: December 23, 2024

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s December 23, 2024, and it’s a Monday. Some people have this week off work; others are like me. I’m busy as fuck. But that won’t stop us from having a joyful holiday, no matter what you celebrate. At the moment, it’s a regular-ass Monday morning in my world, so let’s talk about things and stuff.

• It’s Christmas Eve Eve, and I have a little present for everyone in the form of a leaked draft of a House ethics committee report on Matt Gaetz, the former Florida Republican congressman.
• The report found substantial evidence that Gaetz engaged in sex trafficking and paid for sex with a minor, among other serious violations of state law and congressional rules.
• The draft investigation concludes that Gaetz, Dumples the Clown’s first pick for attorney general, made payments totaling tens of thousands of dollars to women for sex and drugs across at least 20 separate occasions.
• The draft report also states that in 2017 Gaetz paid a 17-year-old girl for sex, which would constitute statutory rape under Florida law.
• “The committee determined there is substantial evidence that Representative Gaetz violated House Rules and other standards of conduct prohibiting prostitution, statutory rape, illicit drug use, impermissible gifts, special favors or privileges, and obstruction of Congress,” the GOP-led panel reportedly wrote in the investigation.
• Gaetz moronically used payment apps including Venmo and PayPal — with easily-tradable transactions — to transfer money directly to more than a dozen women during his time in Congress.
• Also, investigators highlighted a 2018 trip to the Bahamas where Gaetz “engaged in sexual activity” with multiple women, with the trip itself being used as payment to the women. A witness reported that Gaetz took ecstasy during the Bahamas visit, which investigators determined violated House gift rules.
• Snorrrrrrrrrrttttttttt.
• How does Gaetz feel about all this? Not very good.
• He sought a restraining order this morning against the House Ethics Committee in an effort to halt the official release of the final report.
• The complaint argues the report would irreparably hurt Gaetz's reputation. I’m pretty sure the person responsible for hurting Gaetz’s reputation is named Matt Gaetz.
• And a little extra comedy: not long after it was filed, the clerk's office informed Gaetz's attorneys that there were paperwork errors made in the complaint that need to be corrected before further action in the case.
• Hahahahaha… the confederacy of dunces reigns supreme.
• Let’s move on.
• Yesterday, Rep. Tony Gonzales (T-TX) compared Elon Musk to a “prime minister,” praising Musk for speaking out against an early version of a stopgap funding bill last week.
• I’m not making this up. This is what the Republican said on “Face the Nation” yesterday morning: “It’s kind of interesting. We have a president, we have a vice president, we have a speaker. It feels like as if Elon Musk is our prime minister.”
• Gonzales continued to suck up to Musk even as moderator Margaret Brennan pointed out that Musk has not been elected to any formal position in the U.S. government.
• “Well, unelected, but, I mean, he has a voice, and I think a large part of that voice is a reflection of the voice of the people,” Gonzales said.
• So to be clear, the Republicans think a South African billionaire is the voice of the American people. Gotcha.
• Dumpy, meanwhile, got very defensive during a speech yesterday regarding Musk’s role as his boss. And yes, for some reason, Dump seems to still be doing rallies. It was in the form of far-right organization Turning Point USA’s AmericaFest conference in Phoenix.
• Dump seemed annoyed as he dismissed any suggestion that he’s being usurped by his high-profile billionaire ally.
• Dump said in a telling specific way that the notion that he has “ceded the presidency” to Musk is a fiction, and that even if Musk wanted the job, he couldn’t get it because of the Constitution’s requirement that the U.S. president be a natural-born citizen. Musk was born in South Africa.
• “No, he’s not going to be president, that I can tell you,” Trump said. “And I’m safe. You know why he can’t be? He wasn’t born in this country.”
• Well, we’ll see about that. Musk spent a quarter of a billion dollars to buy Dump the presidency, and he didn’t do that with no plan of being paid back.
• Moving on.
• Kay Granger, a sitting member of the US House of Representatives for Texas, was recently found to have been living in an assisted living facility for dementia patients for the past few months, after being missing from her Washington, DC, office since July.
• The Republican rep has been in Congress for 27 years, but has missed every vote in the House since July.
• It was a local Texas reporter for the Dallas Express newspaper, Carlos Turcios, who tracked down her whereabouts after her constituents reported that both her DC and local offices had not answered phone calls for months and that she was placed in a memory care facility after being found wandering.
• Employees at the Tradition-Clearfork facility in Fort Worth confirmed that Granger is a resident there. She’s 81 years old, and is set to retire from Congress in January.
• Here’s a thought. Maybe retire before you end up in a care facility. That lady’s been cashing her checks despite not being able to work in months. Most of us don’t have that option.
• In other news…
• We mentioned over the weekend how Colonizer Dump says he’s going to take back the Panama Canal from Panama. Now he says he’s going to take Greenland from Denmark.
• "For purposes of National Security and Freedom throughout the World, the United States of America feels that the ownership and control of Greenland is an absolute necessity.”
• Greenland's prime minister, Mute Egede, has already rejected Dump's remarks, saying in a statement: “Greenland is ours. We are not for sale and will never be for sale. We must not lose our long struggle for freedom.”
• I guess I should also mention that Dump also announced he will sign executive orders making transgender people illegal, saying the USA will limit itself to two genders as official policy, and wants to rename Mt. Denali back to Mt. McKinley.
• What an asshole Dump is. I mean, we all know this. He just keeps doing exactly as we expect.
• Moving on to a weirdly suspicious story.
• Suchir Balaji, a 26-year-old former researcher turned whistleblower against OpenAI, was found dead inside of his California apartment.
• The San Francisco Medical Examiner's Office claims that Balaji died by suicide, and that there was no evidence of foul play. 
• His parents say that they are seeking answers about their son's death and described him as a "happy, smart and brave young man." 
• Originally from Cupertino, CA, Balaji worked for four years as a researcher at OpenAI before leaving the company in August. He alleged in an October interview that OpenAI, an artificial intelligence organization co-founded by Elon Musk, had violated United States copyright law as it developed ChatGPT, which Balaji himself helped build during his time with the company. 
• Balaji subsequently said that he would "try to testify" in the strongest copyright infringement cases against his former employer.
• OpenAI faces a group of lawsuits accusing ChatGPT of illegally using intellectual property to train the online chatbot.
• Hmm.
• In other news…
• Nebraska Governor Jim Pillen was hospitalized yesterday after being bucked off a horse he was riding.
• The 68-year-old Republican was initially taken to Columbus Community Hospital and then to Omaha's University of Nebraska Medical Center. His office did not specify what injuries he sustained or how serious they were, but noted he was expected to remain in the hospital for several days.
• Doesn’t sound very good.
• And now, The Weather: “Moneydog” by Miynt
• From the Sports Desk… the NFL playoff picture is coming more into focus after this weekend’s games, especially for the AFC.
• Five of the six playoff spots are in place there, with the Bills, Steelers, Ravens, Texans, and Chiefs having secured a playoff berth.
• The NFC is far more murky. Just three playoff slots are in place: the Eagles, Lions, and Vikings. The entire NFC South and NFC West are still up for grabs.
• In other news from the Sports Desk, Tiger Woods’ kid Charlie got the spotlight at the PNC Championship yesterday.
• On the par 3 fourth hole, Charlie’s tee shot landed softly on the green and rolled in for a hole-in one. Like father, like son.
• Proud father Tiger was grinning ear to ear as they celebrated with a hug and a playful shove from the elder Woods.
• The PNC Championship is a two-day, 36-hole competition that features 20 major champions and their family members playing in a scramble format.
• Today in history… Byzantine troops storm the city of Aleppo (962). King James II of England flees to Paris after being deposed in favor of his son-in-law and nephew, William of Orange and his daughter Mary (1688). George Washington resigns as commander-in-chief of the Continental Army at the Maryland State House in Annapolis, MD (1783). The novel ‘Emma’ by Jane Austen is first published (1815). The opera ‘Hansel and Gretel‘ by Engelbert Humperdinck is first performed (1893).The Federal Reserve Act is signed into law by President Woodrow Wilson, creating the Federal Reserve System (1913). Sex Disqualification Act 1919 becomes law in the United Kingdom (1919). The transistor is first demonstrated at Bell Laboratories (1947). First successful kidney transplant is performed by J. Hartwell Harrison and Joseph Murray (1954). The North Tower of the World Trade Center in New York, NY is topped out at 1,368 feet, making it the tallest building in the world (1970). The Immaculate Reception is caught by Franco Harris to win the Pittsburgh Steelers their first ever playoff victory (1972). An agreement is made for the Kingdom of Nepal to be abolished and the country to become a federal republic with the Prime Minister becoming head of state (2007).
• December 23 is the birthday of emperor Zhenzong of Song (968), painter/sculptor/architect Giovanni Battista Crespi (1573), businesswoman Madam C. J. Walker (1867), trumpeter/singer Chet Baker (1929), NFL player Paul Hornung (1935), computer scientist Bob Kahn (1938), singer-songwriter/guitarist Jorma Kaukonen (1940), singer-songwriter/guitarist Tim Hardin (1941), actor/comedian Harry Shearer (1943), NFL player Jack Ham (1948), guitarist/songwriter Adrian Belew (1949), journalist William Kristol (1952), guitarist/songwriter Dave Murray (1956), NFL player/coach Jim Harbaugh (1963), singer-songwriter Eddie Vedder (1964), singer-songwriter/guitarist Badi Assad (1966), and actor Corey Haim (1971).

Well, time to do some stuff and then jump into my work day. It’s fine. I actually need the time to do the things I need to do. I guess we all do. Enjoy your day.