Random News: February 17, 2023

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s February 17, 2023, and if you can believe it, it’s a Friday once again. And…

• I have COVID. I’d avoided it for three goddamn years.
• It’s awful. If this is the lighter version, the first version would have killed me for sure.
• And now, The Weather: “Same Skin” by Robbing Millions
• Back to bed now.

Random News: February 16, 2023

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s February 16, 2023, and it’s a Thursday for some reason. I’m sure there are things…

• Ugh, I’m fucking sick. I haven’t been sick since November 2019. I forgot what it was like.
• Found out: it sucks.
• I don’t know what I have. My throat hurts and I am coughing and shivering and feel run down, as in, like a car ran me down, and then reversed, and did it again.
• The fact of the matter is, I’ve had to spend a lot more time around gross human beings in recent weeks, first with many visits to see my mom in the hospital, and then to make arrangements at the funeral home.
• It’s probably a cold. I’m hoping it’s not a flu.
• I think it’s a flu. Fuck.
• Anyway, I probably won’t die. I mean, I will, but probably not this week or anything like that. Let’s do some news.
• A Georgia grand jury said one or more witnesses in a criminal probe of former President Donald Trump may have lied under oath while testifying.
• The panel recommended that Fulton County District Attorney Fani Willis pursue indictments for perjury in those cases. The section of the report that will reveal if the panel believes that Trump, his lawyers or political allies should be indicted remains under seal.
• Get his ass.
• Payton Gendron, the 19-year-old white gunman who killed 10 Black people at a Buffalo grocery last year, was sentenced yesterday to life in prison without the possibility of parole.
• “I did a terrible thing that day. I shot and killed people because they were Black. Looking back now, I can’t believe I actually did it. I believed what I read online and acted out the hate and now I can’t take it back but I wish I could.”
• “You don't mean none of that shit,” a woman yelled.
• Gendron also faces 27 federal counts including murder, discharging a firearm and hate crimes. If convicted, he faces a maximum sentence of life in prison or the death penalty. 
• Moving on.
• Raquel Welch, quite possibly one of the most beautiful women who ever existed, has died after a brief illness. She was 82.
• Welch was born as Jo Raquel Tejada on September 5, 1940, in Chicago, IL. 
• ”I was not brought up to be a sex symbol, nor is it in my nature to be one. The fact that I became one is probably the loveliest, most glamorous and fortunate misunderstanding.”
• Rest in peace.
• And now, The Weather: “Arrow” by Savagery
• The Justice Department has stated that it will not bring charges against Rep. Matt Gaetz (F-FL) after a years-long federal sex-trafficking investigation.
• No justice, no peace. Remember that, you child fucker.
• From the Sports Desk… six-time NBA champion (and guy widely acknowledged as the greatest NBA player of all time) Michael Jordan is celebrating his 60th birthday on Friday by making a $10 million donation to Make-A-Wish.
• It is the largest donation ever received from an individual in the organization's 43-year history.
• That’s cool.
• Today in history… Spencer Compton, Earl of Wilmington, becomes British Prime Minister (1742). Howard Carter unseals the burial chamber of Pharaoh Tutankhamun (1923). Wallace H. Carothers receives a United States patent for nylon (1937). The Alaska Equal Rights Act of 1945, the first anti-discrimination law in the United States, was signed into law (1945). Fidel Castro becomes Premier of Cuba after dictator Fulgencio Batista was overthrown (1959). In Haleyville, Alabama, the first 9-1-1 emergency telephone system goes into service (1968). The first computer bulletin board system is created — CBBS in Chicago (1978). The National Hockey League cancels the entire 2004–05 regular season and playoffs (2005). 
• February 16 is the birthday of US vice president Henry Wilson (1812), journalist Henry Adams (1838), engineer/businessman Henry M. Leland (1843), ventriloquist/actor Edgar Bergen (1903), actor/musician/politician Sonny Bono (1935), politician Kim Jong-il (1941), singer-songwriter James Ingram (1952), model/actress Margaux Hemingway (1954), actor/producer LeVar Burton (1957), rapper/actor Ice-T (1958), tennis player John McEnroe (1959), guitarist/songwriter Andy Taylor (1961), NFL player Jerome Bettis (1972), politician Jon Ossoff (1987), and singer-songwriter The Weeknd (1990).

I’ve been in bed all day this far. I’m trying to get up for one important meeting, but then I’ll be back in bed. Enjoy your day.

Random News: February 15, 2023

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s February 15, 2023, and it’s a Wednesday. You never know what I’m going to write here, and neither do I…

• Let’s start with a biggie.
• Federal prosecutors investigating former President Donald Trump’s handling of classified documents are asking a court to force his attorney Evan Corcoran to provide additional testimony.
• What about attorney-client privilege, you ask angrily?
• Welp. 
• Prosecutors alleged in writing to the judge that the former president used his attorney in furtherance of a crime or fraud. That means you no longer get to enjoy that privilege.
• This represents the most aggressive move yet by special counsel Jack Smith, who is leading the investigation. The case and filing remain under seal for now.
• Scottish first minister Nicola Sturgeon has abruptly resigned after more than eight years as head of the country's government.
• "The nature and form of modern political discourse means there is a much greater intensity — dare I say it, brutality — to being a politician than in years gone by."
• Seems accurate to me.
• Sturgeon will remain in office until a new first minister can be elected by the Scottish National Party.
• In other political news…
• My very much beloved but very much elderly Senator from California, Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) announced yesterday that she will not run for reelection in 2024.
• Feinstein, 89, has been a fixture of California politics for decades and was first elected to the US Senate in 1992. She holds the title of longest-serving female US senator in history. I’d say she’s in the top ten most important women politicians of the past 100 years.
• Total legend. There are already two Democrats who’ve launched campaigns for Feinstein’s seat: Rep Adam Schiff (D-CA) and Rep. Katie Porter (D-CA). There may be more yet to come.
• Either Schiff or Porter would do a superb job. I am postponing endorsement until the full Senatorial race takes shape.
• Another hazardous material spill happened yesterday.
• A crash involving a commercial tractor truck hauling liquid nitric acid on the I-10 near Tucson, AZ has led to evacuation orders and a closure of the interstate. News footage showed horrifying red fumes pluming from the truck.
• A shelter-in-place order that was in effect earlier was lifted Tuesday night. Meanwhile, the one-half-mile perimeter around the incident remains under an evacuation order through this morning.
• Exposure to nitric acid can cause irritation to the eyes, skin and mucous membranes.
• And now, The Weather: “Halloween Store” by Andy Shauf
• Lest we forget, the lawsuits by voting machine makers Dominion Voting Systems and Smartmatic are continuing against Fox News and Newsmax.
• The media organizations are accused of making false claims about the voting machines changing votes in the 2020 presidential election. The news outlets claim they were only repeating the lies told by former president Trump.
• The stakes are pretty high; Dominion’s suit against Fox News alone is for $1.6 billion.
• Add South Dakota to the list of states that I will never support with any kind of business.
• They joined five other states that have restricted transition-related care for transgender minors in just the past two years. Their governor signed a bill that bans health care professionals from providing puberty blockers, hormone therapy and surgery to minors. 
• From the Sports Desk… yes, the NFL season is over, but we’re still wrapping up some ongoing changes. 
• Yesterday, as expected, the Las Vegas Raiders released Derek Carr after he declined to waive his no-trade clause and just before more than $40 million of his contract would have become guaranteed.
• I’m a lifelong Raiders fan and I’ve always respected Carr, but it’s obviously time to move on.
• The Raiders will be filling the hole at the QB position one way or the other. It will be interesting to see who gets the job.
• Today in history… The city of St. Louis is established in Spanish Louisiana — now in Missouri, USA (1764). Confederates commanded by Brig. Gen. John B. Floyd attack General Ulysses S. Grant's Union forces besieging Fort Donelson in Tennessee and the Confederates surrender the following day (1862). US President Rutherford B. Hayes signs a bill allowing female attorneys to argue cases before the Supreme Court of the United States (1879). The battleship USS Maine explodes and sinks in Havana harbor in Cuba, killing about 274 of the ship's roughly 354 crew and giving the United States an excuse to declare war on Spain (1898). In Miami, Giuseppe Zangara attempts to assassinate US President-elect Franklin D. Roosevelt, but instead shoots Chicago mayor Anton J. Cermak (1933). ENIAC, the first electronic general-purpose computer, is formally dedicated at the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia (1946). Canada and the United States agree to construct the Distant Early Warning Line, a system of radar stations in the far northern Arctic regions of Canada and Alaska (1954). A new red-and-white maple leaf design is adopted as the flag of Canada, replacing the old Canadian Red Ensign banner (1965). Sound recordings are granted U.S. federal copyright protection for the first time (1972). Serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer is sentenced in Milwaukee to 15 terms of life in prison (1992). Protests against the Iraq war take place in over 600 cities worldwide in the largest peace demonstration in history (2003). A meteor explodes over Russia, injuring 1,500 people as a shock wave blows out windows and rocks buildings (2013).
• February 15 is the birthday of Italian ruler Piero the Unfortunate (1472), astronomer/physicist Galileo Galilei (1564), French king Louis XV (1710), businessman Charles Lewis Tiffany (1812), suffragist/activist Susan B. Anthony (1820), politician Elihu Root (1845), politician James Forrestal (1892), actor Cesar Romero (1907), politician Endicott Peabody (1920), actor Harvey Korman (1927), astronaut Roger B. Chaffee (1935), NFL player Ken Anderson (1949), singer-songwriter Melissa Manchester (1951), animator Matt Groening (1954), actor Chris Farley (1964), actress Alex Borstein (1971), my sister Danielle (1972), NHL great Jaromír Jágr (1972), singer-songwriter Brandon Boyd (1976), singer-songwriter Conor Oberst (1980), and rapper Megan Thee Stallion (1995).

So, in whiny news, my back is still getting better (yay!), but I seem to have some kind of… cold? My throat and upper respiratory tract seem fucked up (boo!), to the point that I actually took a COVID test last night to make sure I hadn’t finally come down with the virus; it was negative. Regardless, I’m not happy about this. I don’t like having to even think about my own body and its functions at all. Ah well. Probably nothing and I’ll be fine soon. Enjoy your day.

Random News: February 14, 2023

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s February 14, 2023, and it’s a Tuesday. Things have happened, and I’ve found out about them, and since you’re my friend, you shall as well…

• Like most nights in the USA, there was another mass shooting last night, this time at Michigan State University in East Lansing, MI. 
• Since the Second Amendment of the US Constitution says that, “A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed,” I’m going to assume that all these mass murders are carried out by this aforementioned well regulated militia.
• Last night, the well regulated militia killed three students and shot five more, some of whom have life-threatening wounds, and then the well regulated militia shot himself in the head and died.
• One of the college students at MSU who escaped the gunfire had, herself, been a student at Sandy Hook Elementary and survived the mass shooting there. So that’s the world we live in.
• Will it happen to you and your kids or friends or loved ones in the USA, at a school or a church or a grocery store or on the road or in a club or at an office or elsewhere? Statistically, yes. 
• Moving on.
• Nikki Haley has announced her bid for president as expected. She is the second Republican to announce her 2024 candidacy after Donald Trump.
• Frankly, she has zero chance of winning and will likely take away votes from other eventual candidates rather than from Trump. In the meantime, she will still be treated like shit by the MAGA base for going up against their Orange God.
• Speaking of whom, portions of a Georgia special grand jury's final report on Donald Trump's efforts to overturn the state's 2020 presidential election should be publicly released over the objection of prosecutors, a state judge ruled yesterday.
• Shrug. Let’s see it.
• Local officials in East Palestine, OH where a train full of toxic chemicals derailed, have insisted that the air is safe to breathe and the water is safe to drink. I’m sure they’d never lie.
• Jesus. Let’s move on to less depressing shit.
• Today is Valentine’s Day. You probably know what it is.
• It’s the day to commemorate the Christian martyr Saint Valentine. You can go see the flower-crowned skull of Saint Valentine exhibited in the Basilica of Santa Maria in Cosmedin, Rome. That’s it, right?
• No, of course not. It’s the day to celebrate love. The cynical me says it’s a marketing event to sell cards, candy, flowers, and jewelry, but most holidays have a capitalist component, and that’s just life.
• While there had long been a pagan connection between springtime and renewal and love (as in, sex and procreation), the more modern connection between Valentine’s Day and love first dates from a poem by the man himself, Geoffrey Chaucer, from 1382. Wanna check it out?

"For this was on seynt Valentynes day
Whan every foul cometh there to chese his make
Of every kynde that men thynke may
And that so huge a noyse gan they make
That erthe, and eyr, and tre, and every lake
So ful was, that unethe was there space
For me to stonde, so ful was al the place."

• Well that was delightful. By 1400, the ‘Charter of the Court of Love’ describes lavish festivities to be attended by several members of the royal court, including a feast, amorous song and poetry competitions, jousting and dancing. Amid these festivities, the attending ladies would hear and rule on disputes from lovers.
• Hmm.
• Ophelia refers to Valentine’s Day directly in Shakespeare’s ‘Hamlet’ (1600)…

"To-morrow is Saint Valentine's day,
All in the morning betime,
And I a maid at your window,
To be your Valentine.
Then up he rose, and donn'd his clothes,
And dupp'd the chamber-door;
Let in the maid, that out a maid
Never departed more."

• Yikes!
• Here’s the OG version of a well-known cliché poem for the day, published in 1784…

"The rose is red, the violet's blue,
The honey's sweet, and so are you.
Thou art my love and I am thine;
I drew thee to my Valentine:
The lot was cast and then I drew,
And Fortune said it shou'd be you.”

• Aww.
• Anyway, it’s been around a long time. We know what it is. Happy Valentine’s Day. If you love someone in a romantic sense, send them a heart or something. Not, like, an actual heart. That’s disgusting.
• And now, The Weather: “Kill Me I Got You” by Mazey Haze
• From the Sports Desk… let’s get this final note on the Super Bowl out of the way.
• That holding call at the end of Super Bowl LVII. Was it a tacky-tack foul that doesn’t always get called? Sure. Did it influence the outcome of the game? Yes, absolutely.
• Was it wrong? No.
• Philadelphia Eagles cornerback James Bradberry took full responsibility, the way a grown man is supposed to do. "I was hoping he would let it go, but of course he's a ref, it was a big game. It was a hold, so they called it."
• I agree. Was it a huge, blatant hold? No. But did he grab the uniform of JuJu Smith-Schuster even slightly? Yes, and that’s a hold.
• People love to pin a win or a loss on one play, or one missed kick, or one call by an official, or whatever. But they play the game for 60 minutes where dozens of plays happen for good or bad. No sporting event has ever been decided on a single play, despite it feeling that way.
• Today in history… Several hundred Jews are burned to death by mobs while the remaining Jews are forcibly removed from Strasbourg (1349). The United States flag is formally recognized by a foreign naval vessel for the first time, when French Admiral Toussaint-Guillaume Picquet de la Motte renders a nine gun salute to USS Ranger, commanded by John Paul Jones (1778). James Cook is killed by Native Hawaiians near Kealakekua on the Island of Hawaii (1779). In New York City, James Knox Polk becomes the first serving President of the United States to have his photograph taken (1849). Oregon is admitted as the 33rd U.S. state (1859). Alexander Graham Bell applies for a patent for the telephone, as does Elisha Gray (1876). Voting machines are approved by the U.S. Congress for use in federal elections (1899). Arizona is admitted as the 48th and the last contiguous U.S. state (1912). The Computing-Tabulating-Recording Company changes its name to International Business Machines Corporation, aka IBM (1924). Seven people, six of them gangster rivals of Al Capone's gang, are murdered in Chicago (1929). The British Royal Air Force and the United States Army Air Forces begin fire-bombing Dresden (1945). The Knesset (parliament of Israel) convenes for the first time (1949). Element 103, Lawrencium, is first synthesized at the University of California (1961). Union Carbide agrees to pay $470 million to the Indian government for damages it caused in the 1984 Bhopal disaster (1989). The Voyager 1 spacecraft takes the photograph of planet Earth that later becomes famous as ‘Pale Blue Dot’ (1990). YouTube is launched by a group of college students, eventually becoming the largest video sharing website in the world (2005). A shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida is one of the deadliest school massacres with 17 fatalities and 17 injuries (2018).
• February 14 is the birthday of painter/poet/philosopher Leon Battista Alberti (1404), composer Francesco Cavalli (1602), composer Georg Friedrich Kauffmann (1679), businesswoman Lydia Hamilton Smith (1813), journalist/politician/inventor Christopher Latham Sholes (1819), soldier/drummer Julian Scott (1846), engineer George Washington Gale Ferris Jr. (1859), actor John Barrymore (1882), actor Jack Benny (1894), union leader Jimmy Hoffa (1913), journalist Hugh Downs (1921), actor Vic Morrow (1929), actress Florence Henderson (1934), politician Donna Shalala (1941), businessman/politician Michael Bloomberg (1942), actor Andrew Robinson (1942), saxophonist Maceo Parker (1943), journalist Carl Bernstein (1943), film director Alan Parker (1944), actor/dancer Gregory Hines (1946), singer-songwriter Tim Buckley (1947), guitarist Roger Fisher (1950), journalist Terry Gross (1951), NFL player Jim Kelly (1960), NFL player Drew Bledsoe (1972), singer-songwriter Rob Thomas (1972), and NFL player Steve McNair (1973).

My back seems a bit better this morning — not a lot better but definitely improving. I’ve dealt with this for a long time, with a herniated disc and scoliosis, and while it’s never fun, it does get better. I get impatient, as one does while being in varying degrees of pain day after day. I also refuse to take medication day after day, having seen the negative results of that treatment in many other people. (though I’ve hit the ibuprofen a couple of times when I couldn’t stand the pain anymore). Avoiding that pain is the main reason I’ve worked out every morning for the past 12 years to build my core muscles, which has definitely headed off the worst of it. But it gets better. Most things in life do. Enjoy your day.

Random News: February 13, 2023

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s February 13, 2023, and it’s a Monday. Let’s see how we be…

• We shot down another UFO yesterday, this time over Lake Huron.
• I know it sounds funny, but until we (as in, the public) are given information on a flying object that was shot down, it’s an unidentified flying object by definition.
• “UFO” does not equal “alien”. It’s something we either don’t know or have yet to be told. The latter is more likely.
• Oh, this time we used an F-16 to shoot it down instead of an F-22… but still with an AIM-9X Sidewinder missile as before.
• They said the thing was “octagonal”. Eek.
• Meanwhile, China claimed today that the United States flew spy balloons into Chinese airspace more than 10 times since January 2022 without Beijing's permission.
• The US responded, "Any claim that the US government operates surveillance balloons over the PRC is false.”
• These fucking countries. Chill out, you warmongers.
• Speaking of war, this morning the USA issued a top-level advisory telling American citizens to leave Russia immediately and cease travel to the country. They cite risks of harassment and wrongful detention for Americans specifically.
• If you have friends or family in Russia,tell them the time has come to GTFO.
• I haven’t covered the East Palestine, OH train derailment, but nothing about it seems good. While authorities have said it’s safe for residents to return home, many are understandably concerned about “the pungent odor that reminds them of a mixture of nail polish remover and burning tires”.
• Fuck that shit. No way.
• And now, The Weather: “Sandrail Silhouette” by Avalon Emerson
• Let’s see what’s happening in Florida, a state always good for some news…
• Arin Hankerd, 42, was arrested on Sunday and charged with two counts of lewd and lascivious molestation of a person older than 12 years of age but younger than 16, traveling to meet a minor, and using a computer for lewd and lascvious exhibition by a person 18 years or older to a victim less than 16 years old.
• He was a football coach fucking a 15-year-old.
• I love that his arrest time was 7:16PM EST, meaning he didn’t get to finish watching the Super Bowl before his life as he previously knew it was over. Which brings us to…
• From the Sports Desk… congrats to the Kansas City Chiefs, Super Bowl champs. It was a good game. There were some questionable calls, especially that nearly nonexistent hold right at the end, but credit where credit is due. Mahomes is a machine.
• Overall it was a great game. Competitively one of the better Super Bowls in terms of both teams’ performance.
• My only complaint is that the NFL season is now over, and I’ll be moping in a sports funk for awhile until I can convince myself to give a shit about basketball and/or hockey.
• The ads? Meh. Seriously not one of the better years overall by a long shot. The best of them, I give maybe a B-minus.  Will Farrell’s EV ad for GM was decent. I kinda liked Dave Grohl’s Crown Royal ad (mostly because I like Dave Grohl). Same with seeing my dude Matty Matheson in an ad for DoorDash. Sarah McLachlan popping up in the Busch ad was kinda fun. Bradley Cooper and his mom for T-Mobile was cute. The RAM ad for Premature Electrification was sorta funny though I think the joke played out about halfway through. 
• The tons of promos for upcoming shows on Fox that I will never watch under any circumstances was annoying at best.
• One telltale sign of the ads being mediocre: I couldn’t remember a single standout this morning and had to go back and look at a list to even recall what brands were being promoted.
• Lots of celebrities in the ads… and very little story. Writing matters, people.
• And yes, I am available for hire to brands who don’t want to waste that $7 million budget for Super Bowl LVIII in 2024. Hit me up, brands.
• The halftime performance? I think Rihanna performed just fine; I think the actual staging with the floating platforms was cool for about the first song and then got super repetitive. I think coming out and surprising people by doing the show with a previously-unannounced pregnancy was pretty awesome.
• But I mean, compare that to last year’s Dr. Dre show alone. Or to Prince. Or U2, or Madonna, or Beyoncé, or Lady Gaga. Again, Rihanna did fine; it just wasn’t comparable as a show to the most memorable of them.
• And yet, on Twitter after the show, there was a pretty large contingent of, “How dare you show this obscenity with the crotch grabbing and hips pumping to my young children?”
• Wow. Loosen up, Karen.
• Also, how ironic is it that the forced-birth people were mad about Rihanna performing while pregnant? Sigh. Lordy.
• Today in history… Catherine Howard, the fifth wife of Henry VIII of England, is executed for adultery (1542). Galileo Galilei arrives in Rome for his trial before the Inquisition (1633). William and Mary are proclaimed co-rulers of England (1689). The 13th Dalai Lama proclaims Tibetan independence following a period of domination by Manchu Qing dynasty and initiated a period of almost four decades of independence (1913). In New York City the American Society of Composers, Authors and Publishers — ASCAP — is established to protect the copyrighted musical compositions of its members (1914). With the success of a nuclear test codenamed "Gerboise Bleue", France becomes the fourth country to possess nuclear weapons (1960). Black college students stage the first of the Nashville sit-ins at three lunch counters in Nashville, TN (1960). Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd makes a historic apology to the Indigenous Australians and the Stolen Generations (2008).
• February 13 is the birthday of economist Thomas Robert Malthus (1766), French president Paul Deschanel (1855), painter Grant Wood (1891), philosopher Agostinho da Silva (1906), singer/actor Tennessee Ernie Ford (1919), pilot Chuck Yeager (1923), actress Kim Novak (1933),  actor Oliver Reed (1938), actor/musician Peter Tork (1942), actress Stockard Channing (1944), TV host/politician Jerry Springer (1944), politician Richard Blumenthal (1946), basketball player/coach Mike Krzyzewski (1947), singer-songwriter Peter Gabriel (1950), musician Peter Hook (1956), singer-songwriter/actor/DJ Henry Rollins (1961), NFL player Randy Moss (1977), actress Mena Suvari (1979), and NFL player Aqib Talib (1986). 

I have no specific plans today beyond some meetings and some work. Oh, wait. I need to do the laundry that I didn’t do yesterday. That sucks, but I am now out of wearable clean clothes and I can’t spend tomorrow naked. It’s not warm enough for that. Enjoy your day.

Random News: February 12, 2023

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s February 12, 2023, and it’s a Sunday. It’s not just any Sunday; it is the holiest of American holidays, Super Bowl Sunday, so let’s get this out of the way so I can go be a big dumb jerk for like 13 hours…

• We popped another balloon, or something seems balloonish by description but is still officially an unidentified flying object.
• This one was over northern Canada. It was, once again, shot down via a heat-seeking missile fired by a US F-22 Raptor.
• Some people seem to forget that the forces who defend the US in case of air-based attacks also do the same for Canada. 
• You may have heard of NORAD — the North American Aerospace Defense Command. 
• That’s them.
• What you might not know is that hours later, a part of Montana airspace was temporarily closed due to a “radar anomaly,” then later reopened. A fighter jet was deployed to investigate the radar situation but did not identify any object to correlate to the radar hits.
• I’m not saying it was aliens, but… shrug.
• Thought you’d like to learn more about the planes we use to fuck shit up. The The Lockheed Martin F-22 Raptor is an American single-seat, twin-engine, all-weather stealth tactical fighter aircraft, designed as an air superiority fighter, but also has ground attack, electronic warfare, and signals intelligence capabilities.
• They are only used by the USA. They are scary. There are 183 of them. They can fly at Mach 2.25 (1,500 mph) and have a range of 1,800 miles.
• Each F-22 has one 20 mm M61A2 Vulcan rotary cannon with 480 rounds. For air-to-air missions, they load them with six AIM-120C/D AMRAAM missiles and two AIM-9 Sidewinder missiles internally, and four AIM-120 AMRAAM missiles along with other external armaments as needed.
• Each one costs between $150 and $200 million. They’ve been in active use since 2005. Guess how many total objects F-22’s have shot down?
• Three. One balloon and two UFOs. All in the past week.
• And now, The Weather: “Echolalia” by Yves Tumor
• In Sad Trombone News, Trump’s 2020 campaign commissioned Berkeley Research Group, an outside research firm, in a bid to prove electoral fraud claims but never released the findings because the firm disputed many of his theories and could not offer any proof that he was the rightful winner of the election.
• In the final weeks of 2020, they carefully examined voter machine malfunctions, instances of dead people voting and any evidence that could help Trump show he won, and found nothing. None of the findings were presented to the public or in court.
• Womp womp. 
• From the Glad We Don’t Live In a Theocracy File, a man identified only as Waris had been in police custody in Pakistan's eastern Punjab province for desecrating pages of a copy of Islam's holy book, the Quran.
• Hundreds of Muslims descended on the police station yesterday, snatched him from his cell, took him outside and lynched him for blasphemy.
• This is why we don’t combine church and state in the USA. Charges of blasphemy carry the death penalty under Pakistani law.
• From the Sports Desk… I guess we’ll stick with the obvious. Super Bowl LVII is today at 3:30PM PST on Fox. Held at State Farm Stadium in Glendale, AZ, the game will feature the Kansas City Chiefs at the Philadelphia Eagles.
• The Chiefs will be the guys in the red helmets and white jerseys. The Eagles will be the guys in green jerseys and helmets. It is unknown as of press time whether the Chiefs will wear their red pants, or use their alternative white pants instead. The Eagles will definitely be in their white pants.
• Both teams, including playoffs wins, are 16-3.  They’re both good. They both have strong offensive and defensive weapons. Either team can win, and one will.
• That being said, there are factors that could lead to a much more lopsided score than has been prognosticated thus far. 
• Not much to say beyond that, except for this.
• You know how it’s been said for decades that the Super Bowl is the worst day for domestic violence in America, and that women's shelters and hotlines are flooded with more calls from victims than on any other day of the year?
• That’s completely false. It’s not true at all.
• Domestic violence numbers and violence against women are pretty horrible year round, and they do escalate around Christmas or other times of year that coincide with school vacation.
• But statistically, Super Bowl Sunday is no worse in that despicable area than other days. That being said, perhaps it’s a good thing that many are reminded of the continuing pervasive aspects of domestic violence during this game, if if it’s not a direct correlation.
• All that being said, impaired driving and other alcohol-related incidents do go up, so have fun but try and be a responsible human being while you do and not be a complete fucking idiot piece of shit.
• Thanks.
• In personal news, my fucking back is out again. It happens. You get used to it. I have dealt with spinal issues for many years that manifests itself in various ways, all painful.
• I had to spend the entirety of yesterday evening laying down flat. Neither sitting nor standing was an option.
• Can it be fixed? Maybe. Not through methods like exercise or chiropractic care, though. It would require surgery. Would surgery 100% fix it? No one can say.
• Anyway, the timing is shitty as it often is. I had to spend a chunk of yesterday dealing with plans for my mom’s mortal remains. Not the best Saturday I’ve had in recent memory. But I’m not letting it get me down.
• Today in history… Isabella I issues an edict outlawing Islam in the Crown of Castile, forcing virtually all her Muslim subjects to convert to Christianity (1502). Approximately 3,000 Joseon defenders led by general Kwon Yul successfully repel more than 30,000 Japanese forces in the Siege of Haengju (1593). Englishman James Oglethorpe founds Georgia, the 13th colony of the Thirteen Colonies, by settling at Savannah (1733). The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People — NAACP — is founded (1909). George Gershwin's ‘Rhapsody in Blue’ received its premiere in a concert titled "An Experiment in Modern Music", in Aeolian Hall, New York, by Paul Whiteman and his band, with Gershwin playing the piano (1924). African American United States Army veteran Isaac Woodard is severely beaten by a South Carolina police officer, galvanizing the civil rights movement (1946). Construction begins on the Gateway Arch in St. Louis, MO (1963). United States President Bill Clinton is acquitted by the United States Senate in his impeachment trial (1999). The city of San Francisco begins issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples in response to a directive from Mayor Gavin Newsom (2004). 
• February 12 is the birthday of naturalist Charles Darwin (1809), US president Abraham Lincoln (1809), engineer/businessman Louis Renault (1877), US general Omar Bradley (1893), MLB player/announcer Joe Garagiola, Sr. (1926), NBA legend Bill Russell (1934), author Judy Blume (1938), keyboardist/songwriter Ray Manzarek (1939), scientist/futurist Ray Kurzweil (1948), guitarist Steve Hackett (1950), singer-songwriter Michael McDonald (1952), bass player/producer Bill Laswell (1955), actor/TV host Arsenio Hall (1956), drummer Omar Hakim (1964), SCOTUS justice Brett Kavanaugh (1965), actor Josh Brolin (1968), actress Christina Ricci (1980), and NFL player Robert Griffin III (1990).

So yes, despite everything else, I will be enjoying the Super Bowl today. Life is full of challenging shit, and taking one day to be a babbling idiot is perfectly acceptable. If you have a team, I hope your team wins, unless it somehow interferes with my own interests in this game, in which case I hope your team is complete shit. Enjoy your day.

Random News: February 11, 2023

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s February 11, 2023, and it’s a Saturday. I just got up and made coffee, so let’s look into various things now that my brain is functioning to some degree…

• We shot down a thing.
• “We” being the United States, and the thing being… well, they’re being a little cagey about that. They say the thing (or “object”, as they so descriptively call it) was the size of a small car and was hanging out over Alaska at about 40,000 feet.
• Using my supreme powers of reading between the lines, I’d say it was probably another balloon.
• 40,000 feet is low enough to be a danger to commercial aircraft.
• So we got some more target practice for our F-22 pilots.
• The toll from Monday’s horrible earthquake that hit Turkey and Syria is over 25,000 now. Many tens of thousands more are seriously injured and/or homeless as a result of the 7.8 quake and huge aftershocks.
• It’s horrible. It’s already well within the top 10 most deadly and devastating earthquake events of the 21st century.
• In other news…
• Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton has agreed to a $3.3 million settlement and an apology as part of a tentative settlement with four whistleblowers who publicly accused Paxton of abuse of office, bribery and other criminal offenses in 2020.
• All four had been fired after reporting their allegations to the FBI.
• Paxton remains under investigation by the FBI.
• Get his ass.
• The plan of Senator Rick Scott (F-FL) to "sunset" all federal legislation every five years — including Social Security — is not being received well by either Democrats or sane Republicans. Or even most asshole Republicans.
• "I mean, it's just a bad idea. I think it will be a challenge for him to deal with this in his own reelection in Florida, a state with more elderly people than any state in America.” - Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell.
• Regardless, I’d recommend to keep a close eye on the large Republican faction who is intent on taking away the Social Security benefits that help your parents survive, and that you pay into your whole life.
• It’s your money.
• Moving on.
• Nevada Governor Joe Lombardo declared a state emergency last night after a leak was detected in a pipeline that supplies fuel to Las Vegas.
• The leak is at a pumping station not very far from here in Long Beach, California.
• Apparently the emergency declaration will allow Nevada to lift restrictions on trucking and other delivery methods to bring in fuel.
• Lombardo urged residents not to panic buy so it does not create unnecessary shortages. But immediately after, Vegas residents began panic buying. Videos posted on social media showed cars lined up at local gas stations.
• Fucking people.
• And now, The Weather: “Macchina” by Los Vii
• From the Sports Desk… yep, Super Bowl is tomorrow. I’m sure there are already pre-game shows on right now, over 24 hours before kickoff.
• The halftime performance is by Rihanna. I am a bit embarrassed to say that I don’t know any of her music. If my life depended on being able to name one Rihanna song, I’d be a dead man.
• However, Chris Martin of Coldplay said the following: “You have to be an idiot not to recognize that she’s the best singer of all time.”
• The best singer of all time. Wow. I guessed I’ve missed out.
• Here’s a fun fact: this week, Chiefs QB Patrick Mahomes was named this season’s NFL Most Valuable Player.
• However, there’s currently a nine-game losing streak by league MVPs who play in the Super Bowl.
• Interesting.
• Another Super Bowl LVII note: it will make history when the traditional pregame military flyover will be piloted by an all-female team.
• Two of the four female pilots who will orchestrate the diamond formation — a tribute to 50 years of women flying in the U.S. Navy.
• Neat.
• Today in history… Henry VIII of England is recognized as supreme head of the Church of England (1534). Sir Francis Drake with an English force captures and occupies the Spanish colonial port of Cartagena de Indias for two months, obtaining a ransom and booty (1586). Massachusetts governor Elbridge Gerry is accused of "gerrymandering" for the first time (1812). Giuseppe Verdi's opera ‘I Lombardi alla prima crociata’ receives its first performance in Milan, Italy (1843). The United States House of Representatives unanimously passes a resolution guaranteeing noninterference with slavery in any state (1861). The Flint sit-down strike ends when General Motors recognizes the United Auto Workers trade union (1937). The Iranian Revolution establishes an Islamic theocracy under the leadership of Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini (1979). Nelson Mandela is released from Victor Verster Prison outside Cape Town, South Africa after 27 years as a political prisoner (1990). Buster Douglas, a 42:1 underdog, knocks out Mike Tyson in ten rounds at Tokyo to win boxing's world Heavyweight title (1990). Pluto crosses Neptune's orbit and is not expected to interact with Neptune's orbit again until 2231 (1999). The first wave of the Egyptian revolution culminates in the resignation of Hosni Mubarak and the transfer of power to the Supreme Military Council after 17 days of protests (2011). The World Health Organization officially names the coronavirus outbreak as COVID-19, with the virus being designated SARS-CoV-2 (2020).
• February 11 is the birthday of English queen Elizabeth of York (1466), SCOTUS chief justice Melville Fuller (1833), physicist Josiah Willard Gibbs (1839), engineer/businessman Thomas Edison (1847), boxer/actor Max Baer (1909), politician Lloyd Bentsen (1921), actor Leslie Nielsen (1926), actress Tina Louise (1934), politician Manuel Noriega (1934), singer/guitarist Gene Vincent (1935), actor Burt Reynolds (1936), songwriter Gerry Goffin (1939), pianist Sérgio Mendes (1941), politician Jeb Bush (1953), singer-songwriter Sheryl Crow (1962), politician Sarah Palin (1964), actress Jennifer Aniston (1969), conspiracy theorist Alex Jones (1974), musician Mike Shinoda (1977), singer-songwriter Brandy Norwood (1979), and singer Kelly Rowland (1981).

I’m heading to a mortuary in a little while. No one ever wants to be in a mortuary. I’m trying to think of any possible scenario that would involve someone happy to be going there. But part of being an adult human being is doing shit you’d prefer not doing. I’d prefer to be sitting here smoking weed while naked. Maybe that’s how I’d reward myself after I get back. Enjoy your day.