DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.
Good morning. It’s November 18, 2022, and if you can believe it, it’s a Friday once again! Here’s a batch of whatever it is…
- So this is neat.
- On Wednesday, Elon Musk sent a memo to all remaining Twitter employees. He told them they had a choice: to commit to “extremely hardcore” work moving forward, or to leave the company immediately with severance pay.
- Yesterday, it was rumored that a huge portion of the staff took option two, and that upward of 75% of the remaining staff (that had already been slashed by half the previous week) resigned immediately.
- Apparently, a good number of the people resigning worked in critical infrastructure roles within the company, as in, they need to be there to allow the platform to run.
- Toward the end of Thursday, another Twitter employee memo was sent, saying that effective immediately, all office buildings are temporarily closed and badge access is suspended. No details were given as to why.
- Elon is apparently terrified that the remaining employees will sabotage the company due to his poor treatment of them.
- The offices are supposed to reopen on Monday November 21. It’s unknown whether Twitter will remain a functionally viable entity if something doesn’t change quickly.
- He literally may have spent $44 billion for nothing at all.
- Moving on.
- The new GOP-led House is raring to go! And they’ve announced their number-one priority. Is it fighting inflation or rising gas prices? Is it stopping illegal immigration? Is it making sure more Americans have decent wages at a wider range of jobs?
- Nope, it’s Hunter Biden’s laptop. That’s what the House of Representatives will be spending its time and resources on.
- And plans to shut down the government. Glad you voted for them?
- And now, The Weather: “Greatest Weapon” by Hand Habits
- Speaking of the weather, if you’re in western New York, batten down the hatches and good luck with this snow insanity. I know you folks are used to it, but this looks like a doozy.
- And speaking of the House, I want to take a moment to salute one of the greatest American leaders in history.
- Nancy Pelosi stated yesterday that she will not be accepting a leadership role moving forward in the House. She will remain for now as the representative from the San Francisco area that she’s always been.
- She’s the Democratic party’s longest-serving leader, spanning 18 of the most turbulent years in America’s political history. A thousand years from now, her name will still remain remembered and honored.
- On the other end of the political and moral spectrum, evangelical Christians suddenly realized that the FPOTUS isn’t such a good guy.
- The phrase “He used us” is trending on social networks, based on the statement of evangelical leader Mike Evans.
- “He used us to win the White House. We had to close our mouths and eyes when he said things that horrified us. I cannot do that anymore.”
- What a load of shit. They knew exactly who he was the entire time. All they wanted from him was to kill Roe v Wade. Now that that’s done, they have no use for him anymore. Ironic, huh?
- Evangelicals will throw their support behind the equally evil Ron De Santis. The FPOTUS is done forever.
- From the Sports Desk… it’s upsetting that Britney Griner has been transferred to a penal colony somewhere in western Russia. The Sports Desk is pretty sure that if this had been a white male athlete, greater efforts for a diplomatic solution would have been taken.
- Would they have let Tom Brady rot in a Russian prison camp?
- In other sport news, the Tennessee Titans (7-3) beat the Green Bay Packers (4-7) last night. It really hard to pick NFL games this year. Very little greatness and a lot of inconsistent shittiness is rampant across nearly the entire league.
- Today in history… The Visigoths, led by king Alaric I, cross the Alps and invade northern Italy (401). A dike in the Netherlands breaks, flooding 72 villages and killing about 10,000 people (1421). Susan B. Anthony and 14 other women are arrested for voting illegally in the United States presidential election (1872). Two United States warships are sent to Nicaragua after 500 revolutionaries, including two Americans, are executed (1909). In their campaign for women's voting rights, hundreds of suffragettes march to the British Parliament in London, and several are beaten by police (1910). Release of the animated short ‘Steamboat Willie’, the first fully synchronized sound cartoon (1928). The first push-button telephone goes into service (1963). In Jonestown, Guyana, Jim Jones led his Peoples Temple to a mass murder–suicide that claimed 918 lives in all (1978). Massachusetts rules that the state's ban on same-sex marriage is unconstitutional, making it the first state in the US to grant marriage rights to same-sex couples (2003).
- November 18 is the birthday of physicist August Kundt (1839), actress Imogene Coca (1908), singer-songwriter Hank Ballard (1927), trumpeter Don Cherry (1936), astronomer Edwin C. Krupp (1944), NFL player Jack Tatum (1948), drummer Herman Rarebell (1949), bassist Rudy Sarzo (1950), musician John Parr (1952), NFL player Warren Moon (1956), singer Kim Wilde (1960), MLB player Gary Sheffield (1968), and gross weirdo Megyn Kelly (1970).
Well, there’s more… but I have things to do. Friday is my busy day and today is stacked with meetings and deadlines. That’s fine. I’m capable. Also, I’m older now, and I don’t panic like I did when I was younger. Perspective is a powerful tool. Enjoy your day.
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