Random News: April 3, 2023

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s April 3, 2023, and it’s a Monday. I’m sure there are things we should know, so let’s find out what they are…

• Remember, if you’re upset about the indictment and pending arrest of Donald Trump, it’s not that bad in comparison to all the other indictments and arrests he’ll likely face over the upcoming months.
• In fact, per news coming out over the weekend, it’s alleged that Trump himself hid documents at Mar-a-Lago, and DOJ has proof, including witness testimony, texts, and video footage. 
• After getting the grand jury subpoena, Trump went through docs personally — and then they were moved elsewhere at Mar-a-Lago (including his office).
• Jack Smith is coming.
• Meanwhile, Trump is scheduled to turn himself in tomorrow (Tuesday April 4) in New York City and appear in a Manhattan courtroom for his arraignment.
• I’m sure that will be a peaceful and dignified process unmarred by any actions of his cultish followers, said no one.
• Not that it will come to this, I think, but there is no rule, no law, that prevents a President from being a criminal, or even behind bars in prison.
• Socialist Eugene V. Debs ran for President five times, twice while imprisoned, and garnered over a million votes for President from his prison cell.
• Constitutionally, you need be a natural born citizen of the United States, a resident for 14 years, and 35 years of age or older to be POTUS. That is all. There are no other rules. This has never changed since our first President. I’m not sure you even have to be human. It doesn’t say anything about that.
• You really never know what the fuck is going to happen.
• That prick has already announced that he’ll deliver remarks Tuesday night once he’s back in Mar-a-Lago. 
• However, legal experts predict that it’s very likely that Manhattan's Acting Supreme Court Justice Juan Merchan will issue a gag order, restricting Trump from discussing the case.
• If that happens and Orange Crush still can’t keep his yap shut (also likely), punishment for criminal contempt, under New York law, is a fine not exceeding $1,000, jail for up to 30 days, or both.
• Enough on that for now.
• Last week a Delaware court ruled that Fox News’ statements about Dominion Voting Systems were categorically false and denied the network’s effort to have the $1.6 billion defamation suit thrown out.
• Dominion’s suit also accused the network of maliciously aiding in the spread of false conspiracy theories regarding its role in the 2020 election.
• Virginia teacher Abigail Zwerner, who was shot by a 6-year-old student a few months back, filed a $40 million lawsuit today alleging school administrators shrugged off multiple warnings from staff and students who believed the boy had a gun and posed an imminent threat on the day of the shooting.
• The bullet from the 9mm weapon went through her hand and into her chest, leaving her in critical condition. The bullet is still lodged in her chest.
• After being shot, Zwerner acted first to get the other children in the class to safety. I hope she gets that money.
• There’s a HUGE election in Wisconsin tomorrow (Tuesday 4/4) that could change the entire political trajectory of the perennial swing state.
• Wisconsinites, please vote for Milwaukee County Judge Janet Protasiewicz to your state’s supreme court. It’s going to be the biggest opportunity to save reproductive rights for women and to prevent gerrymandering that will affect the 2024 election.
• Over the weekend, Arkansas governor Sarah Huckabee Sanders spoke with Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) Administrator Deanne Criswell to discuss the state and federal response to the tornadoes that have devastated the area.
• Sanders has also spoken with Joe Biden, with the president telling the governor that the federal government "stands ready to assist" the people of Arkansas following the severe weather which has left at least five people dead and dozens more injured.
• It was just a couple of months ago that Sanders said that as governor of Arkansas, the "meddling hand of big government creeping down from Washington D.C. will be stopped cold at the Mississippi River."
• But she welcomes the meddling when her state is in need, apparently.
• Political commentator Lindy Li said it well: “Republicans are ALWAYS about privatizing the profits & socializing the losses."
• Details are still sketchy in an incident where a Texas man whose truck was stolen used an Apple AirTag to track down the missing vehicle and then shot and killed the man suspected of taking it.
• Andrew John Herrera, 44, died of a gunshot wound to the head on Wednesday. Herrera was confronted by the owner of the truck at a shopping centre in southeast San Antonio, and may have pulled out a firearm.
• Either way, don’t give someone the death penalty for stealing your stupid fucking Chevy. 
• Of course, since this is Texas, officials are determining if the suspect who fired the gun will be charged.
• And now, The Weather: “4th of July” by Packs
• Many places throughout the Midwest and Eastern USA are cleaning up after the spate of tornadoes, and more shitty weather events will be coming this week. Be prepared and stay safe.
• Rest in peace to Seymour Stein, who passed away at 80. Stein was the founder of Sire Records and later VP of Warner Bros. Records, and is responsible for signing such acts as Madonna, the Ramones, Talking Heads, Depeche Mode, Lou Reed, the Pretenders, the Smiths, the Cure, Seal, the Replacements, Echo & the Bunnymen, Madness, Everything But the Girl, Aztec Camera, Erasure, My Bloody Valentine, k.d. lang, and so many more.
• Approximately 25 cars from a freight train derailed in Paradise, MT yesterday. Images show a number of cars in the Clark Fork River, approximately 200 miles northwest of Bozeman. There are allegedly no hazardous materials onboard.
• Trains seem to be a problem in recent times. It’s almost as it someone deregulated that industry and now we’re seeing what happens.
• From the Sports Desk… congrats to LSU on winning the Women’s NCAA championship. They beat the favorite Iowa 102-85. It may be a consolation prize, but congrats also to Iowa’s Caitlin Clark who set the NCAA tournament record for most points all time in a single tourney.
• The Men’s final is tonight between SDSU and UConn.
• Today in history… The first successful United States Pony Express run from St. Joseph, MO, to Sacramento, CA, begins (1860). Union forces capture Richmond, VA, the capital of the Confederate States of America (1865). Gottlieb Daimler is granted a German patent for a light, high-speed, four-stroke engine (1885). The trial in the libel case brought by Oscar Wilde begins, eventually resulting in his imprisonment on charges of homosexuality (1895). Joseph Stalin becomes the first General Secretary of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union (1922). Japanese Lt. General Masaharu Homma is executed in the Philippines for leading the Bataan Death March (1946). U.S. President Harry S. Truman signs the Marshall Plan, authorizing $5 billion in aid for 16 countries (1948). The American Civil Liberties Union announces it will defend Allen Ginsberg's book Howl against obscenity charges (1955). Martin Cooper of Motorola makes the first handheld mobile phone call to Joel S. Engel of Bell Labs (1973). The Osborne 1, the first successful portable computer, is unveiled at the West Coast Computer Faire in San Francisco (1981). Suspected "Unabomber" Theodore Kaczynski is captured at his Montana cabin in the United States (1996). Microsoft is ruled to have violated United States antitrust law by keeping "an oppressive thumb" on its competitors (2000). Texas law enforcement cordons off the FLDS's YFZ Ranch, with 533 women and children taken into state custody (2008). Apple Inc. released the first generation iPad, a tablet computer (2010). A 38-year-old gunwoman opens fire at YouTube Headquarters in San Bruno, California, injuring 3 people before committing suicide (2018).
• April 3 is the birthday of Chinese emperor Xing Zong (1016), writer Washington Irving (1783), social reformer Mary Carpenter (1807), actor Leslie Howard (1893), actor Iron Eyes Cody (1904), journalist Herb Caen (1916), singer/actress Doris Day (1922), actor Marlon Brando (1924), astronaut Gus Grissom (1926), German chancellor Helmut Kohl (1930), anthropologist Jane Goodall (1934), singer-songwriter Jan Berry (1941), actress Marsha Mason (1942), singer Wayne Newton (1942), singer-songwriter Richard Manuel (1943), singer Tony Orlando (1944), NFL player Lyle Alzado (1949), singer-songwriter/guitarist Richard Thompson (1949), actor Alec Baldwin (1958), actor/activist David Hyde Pierce (1959), actor/comedian Eddie Murphy (1961), skier Picabo Street (1971), NBA player Michael Olowokandi (1975), actress Amanda Bynes (1986), NFL player Kam Chancellor (1988), and actress/model/singer Paris Jackson (1998).

Alrighty… I’m still a busy dude. I’m hoping this week lightens up a little bit. My main agenda item today is actually getting this unruly mop of hair on my head chopped down to a more presentable appearance, so I’ll be doing that this afternoon. Enjoy your day.