Random News: August 23, 2023

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

---

Good morning. It’s August 23, 2023, and it’s a Wednesday. Many things happen every moment of every day, and here are some of them...

• Got a few big news items pertaining to the Guy Who Was President For Awhile and his multitude of criminal cases.
• Let’s start with a big one. Meet “Trump Employee 4”, also known as Yuscil Taveras. Yuscil’s job at Mar-a-Lago included monitoring security cameras, among other tasks as the director of information technology.
• Previously, Yuscil has testified to a grand jury in Washington, D.C., that he was unaware of any effort to erase the videos that showed criminal actions at the golf motel. 
• But after Yuscil got a new attorney, he immediately retracted his prior false testimony and detailed the alleged effort to tamper with evidence related to the investigation of the handling of classified information there.
• Taveras’ reversal is what led directly to new charges against Trump that Jack Smith included in a superseding indictment issued by a federal grand jury in Miami last month, detailing alleged efforts to erase the security camera recordings.
• But wait. There’s more. 
• Former Trump White House chief of staff and co-defendant in the Georgia RICO case Mark Meadows is begging a federal judge to step in before Georgia prosecutors arrest him this week on charges that he conspired with Donnie Doo Doo to subvert the 2020 election.
• Meadows says the charges against him in Georgia stem from his work as Trump’s chief of staff, a federal role that should make him immune to the local charges. Ha!
• Why the urgency? Because Fulton County District Attorney Fani Willis’ rejected his request to delay his arrest.
• “I am not granting any extensions,” Willis wrote in an email to Meadows’ attorneys yesterday morning. “I gave 2 weeks for people to surrender themselves to the court. Your client is no different than any other criminal defendant in this jurisdiction. The two weeks was a tremendous courtesy. At 12:30 pm on Friday I shall file warrants in the system.”
• Fuck them all. As I mentioned previously, SunnyD will be turning himself in on Thursday evening.
• Two of the 19 defendants have already turned themselves in: Scott Hall, a Georgia bail bondsman, and John Eastman, a conservative attorney. They were released on bond, as per their arrangement.
• Rudy Giuliani is traveling to Georgia today to negotiate his bond and surrender at the Fulton County jail.
• Moving on.
• India has become the fourth country – after the Soviet Union, the U.S. and China — to land on the moon, and the first to land on one of the moon’s lunar poles. Only the USA has landed people on the moon thus far.
• The Chandrayaan-3 spacecraft launched last month and touched down on the lunar surface at 8:34 AM ET today.
• Congrats India!
• Tonight, if you want to torture yourself due to some bizarre masochistic kink (not judging here), you can watch the eight Republicans who qualified for the party’s first 2024 presidential primary debate, being held in Milwaukee, WI.
• As mentioned here previously, the list includes North Dakota Gov. Doug Burgum, former New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis, former South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley, former Arkansas Gov. Asa Hutchinson, former Vice President Mike Pence, entrepreneur Vivek Ramaswamy, and South Carolina Sen. Tim Scott.
• And not that you were going to watch just for candidate Burgum (who?), but the North Dakota governor was taken to a Milwaukee emergency room yesterday after suffering an injury while playing a game of pick-up basketball with his staff, and might not make the debate.
• That’s a shame, said no one, anywhere.
• Moving. On.
• Sam Bankman-Fried is not having a good time in jail.
• Lawyers for the former crypto billionaire, who is vegan, said the detention center is not accommodating his diet and failing to regularly dispense his Adderall.
• He pleaded not guilty yesterday to an amended indictment alleging fraud and money laundering conspiracy charges, appearing in court for the first time since his bail was revoked and he was sent to jail to await trial.
• Magistrate Judge Netburn said she would contact the Bureau of Prisons about the accommodations. That was nice of her.
• SBF’s bail was revoked after he attempted to intimidate potential witnesses against him, is now locked up in the Metropolitan Detention Center in Brooklyn, a notoriously overcrowded facility that’s been regularly accused of keeping inmates in inhumane conditions.
• He could have been living in luxury at his parents’ swanky Palo Alto, CA home. But instead, he chose to be a dick.
• In international news, the Biden administration is urging U.S. citizens in Belarus to depart the country immediately and warned against travel there. Bordering countries Lithuania, Latvia and Poland have stepped up security along the border over concerns about Wagner mercenary forces who are exiled in the country.  
• In other news, it’s back-to-school week for millions of school kids and college students.
• In Broward County, FL, a 15-year-old at Coconut Creek High School was arrested for bringing a loaded Glock 9mm handgun on the first day of classes.
• He showed it to another student, school security was notified, and the gun was found in the teen's backpack. The kid now faces charges including carrying a concealed weapon, possession of a firearm by someone under 18, and causing a school lockdown.
• In Perkins, OK, third grade teacher Kimberly Coates got herself arrested on the first day back by being drunk off her ass in the classroom. A breathalyzer test showed her at three times over the legal limit for driving, and she was booked for public intoxication.
• Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back.
• And now, The Weather: “Protocol” by Hotline TNT
• I want to clarify something about last weekend’s tropical storm here in SoCal. When I reported that there was little or no damage, I was referring only to my specific local beachside area.
• Other places less than an hour’s drive from here have had huge cleanup to deal with from mud and debris flow. I didn’t want to minimize what they’ve been through.
• Also in weather, a brutal heat wave is gripping a huge swath of the central U.S., with temps into the triple digits across Iowa, Illinois, Missouri and other parts of the Midwest, as well as farther south in Texas and Louisiana. Chicago could see heat index values reach 111 degrees this week, while Houston could peak at 113.
• From the Sports Desk… a general recommendation for people everywhere: don’t be grabbing body parts or kissing people unless you are clearly invited to do so.
• Why is this advice in the Sports Desk section? Because twice, during the celebrations of the team from Spain winning the women’s World Cup, various people did inappropriate things.
• Spanish football federation president Luis Rubiales gave Spain star Jennifer Hermoso an unwanted kiss on the lips after the 33-year-old received her gold medal.
• But even before that, after Spain’s Olga Carmona scored the only goal of the game, head coach Jorge Vilda embraced a female staff member, which would be fine, except he went for an extended boob grab at the same time.
• And yeah, there are always excuses of being caught up in a celebration. I get that. And I am not at all a prudish person who panics at the slightest bodily contact between people. I’m actually pretty affectionate and like hugs and such.
• But keep in mind, these people are essentially coworkers in a big industry. Would it be cool if your wife’s boss kissed her on the lips or grabbed her boobs after a successful sales meeting because he was “caught up in a moment of elation”, or for your husband’s boss to fondle his crotch at a trade show in similar circumstances? No?
• Then this isn’t cool either. Also, are some cultures different than others in terms of expressions of affection and joy? Of course they are. But being Spanish or any other nationality isn’t an excuse for this. Don’t do it. End of story. 
• In actual sports news, huge congrats to American Laulauga Tausaga. She was a big underdog in the competition, but took first place in the discus throw at the World Athletics Championships in Budapest, Hungary. Second place went to another American, the Olympic champ Valarie Allman.
• Tausaga, 25, produced the farthest throw of her life, recording a lifetime best of 69.49m. Well done!
• Today in history… the Golden Horde lays siege to Moscow (1382). George III states that the American colonies are in open and avowed rebellion (1775). A state named Franklin in what’s now eastern Tennessee declares itself independent but is not accepted into the USA and only lasts four years (1784). Japan declares war on Germany in WWI (1914). Italy executes anarchists Sacco and Vanzetti (1927). Romania switches sides from the Axis to the Allies in WWII (1944). César Chávez begins the largest farm worker strike in U.S. history (1970). The World Wide Web is opened to the public (1991). Muammar Gaddafi is overthrown during the Libyan Civil War (2011).
• August 23 is the birthday of King Louis XVI of France (1754), physicist/astronomer Sarah Frances Whiting (1847), actor/dancer Gene Kelly (1912), actress Barbara Eden (1931), drummer Keith Moon (1946), singer-songwriter Linda Thompson (1947), singr-songwriter/actor Rick Springfield (1949), actress Shelly Long (1949), guitarist/songwriter Dean DeLeo (1961), actor River Phoenix (1970), politician Gretchen Whitmer (1971), NBA player Kobe Bryant (1978), and NBA player Jeremy Lin (1988).

That seems like enough news. I have a lot of work on my plate today, but that’s okay. I will kick as much ass as necessary, but no more ass than required. Enjoy your day.