Random News: August 26, 2023

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s August 26, 2023, and it’s a Saturday. I’m in a blue bathrobe and drinking a cup of Peet’s Las Hermanas blend. It’s an organic, Fair Trade certified, single-origin, medium roast coffee 100% produced by women in the highlands of Jinotega, Nicaragua, and has a flavor profile of milk chocolate, caramel, and toasted nut. That was too much information about my coffee, but it is delicious. Let’s do some news…

• We’ve spent most of this week covering the many various aspects of a fast-moving story… that of the Former Guy and his 18 cohorts being arrested for their 2020 election-based racketeering crimes in Georgia.
• I thought we should catch up and see where things stand right this moment.
• At least eight of the co-defendants have filed what became a flurry of legal motions, arguing for their cases to be delayed, moved, or expedited. So much for sticking together, which would have been way better for Trump.
• But these people have a better instinct for self preservation than to go down with the sinking ship. And it’s also a race; in these kinds of legal proceedings, the first to cooperate gets the best deal. Those looking to save their own asses better hurry up, which is why lawyers Kenneth Chesebro and Sidney Powell have invoked their constitutional right to a speedy trial.
• By the way, what is “speedy”? It varies state by state. In Georgia, defendants are entitled to a trial starting within two weeks of indictment.
• Since Judge Scott McAfee approved the trial date of October 23, the ball is now rolling and not much can stop it.
• Five other co-defendants — former Trump chief of staff Mark Meadows, DOJ official Jeffrey Clark, GA state senator Shawn Still, GOP official Cathy Latham, and former George GOP chairman David Shafer — filed motions to remove their cases from Fulton County court to Atlanta federal court.
• Fascinatingly, just one co-defendants — Harrison Floyd, the former director of Black Voices for Trump and the only Black guy in the crime gang — was denied bond by a judge in a hearing yesterday. He remains in jail.
• One thing that should be obvious: fighting these kinds of very serious criminal accusations is expensive. One might think that Trump, who claims to be a billionaire, would be fitting the bill for these people who risked their liberty to try and fraudulently get the election overturned.
• Nope.
• That’s why many of the co-defendants are turning to desperate measures to raise money for their legal fees. Each of their defenses could easily cost well in to the six figures.
• "I don't see anyone's fee less is than $250,000-500,000" unless they strike a plea deal with prosecutors, said Cornell Law School adjunct professor Randy Zelin.
• The lawyers of co-defendant Rudy Giuliani claim that he faces financial difficulties, per a recent filing. He’s planning on hosting a fundraising dinner at Trump’s Bedminster club.
• Others are turning to more common means, like lawyer Jenna Ellis, who set up a GoFundMe-style crowdsourcing fundraiser.
• Cathy Latham wrote on a crowdfunding page that she is a "retired public school teacher living on a teacher's pension.” She was hoping to raise $100,000. She pulled in less than $7,000 so far.
• I don’t have any sympathy for any of them, even the low-level peons who may have genuinely thought they were doing the right thing while committing felony-level crimes. Ignorance is never a valid excuse.
• One thing that seemed to interest people in the midst of all this was the publication of Donnie Dump’s mugshot and body statistics from his arrest booking.
• You’ve all seen it. He’s deranged, with glaring eyes filled with fear, looking every bit the man who painted himself into a corner and now sees no way out.
• The funnier thing was his self-reported size of 6’3”, 215 pounds. I’ve greatly enjoyed the comparative photos of professional athletes — boxers, NFL and NBA players, and so on — who share this height/weight statistic, and how obvious it is that Trump is far, far away from this in actuality.
• My real guess is that he’s 6’1-1/2” and 319 pounds… and I truly think I’m being generous with this estimate. Side note: I’m not body-shaming this guy; I’m dishonesty-shaming him.
• Me? I’m exactly 5’11” and 176 pounds at this moment. I can’t help being awesome.
• Side note: they asked President Biden if he’d seen the mugshot and what he thought of it. Joe laughed and then quipped, “Handsome guy. Wonderful guy.”
• Let’s move on.
• At Bunnell Elementary School in Flagler County, FL on August 18, they held an assembly for fourth and fifth graders. Not all of them. Just the Black ones.
• They were collectively told to improve their school performance – regardless of how well each student was doing individually.
• The principal and a teacher at the school were placed on paid administrative leave. The interim superintendent Lashakia Moore said in a news conference, “This should not have happened, but it did,” and offered an apology to the students and their families.
• In historically-related news…
• This weekend is the 60th anniversary of the March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom, which happened on August 28, 1963.
• The purpose of the march was to advocate for the civil and economic rights of African Americans. At the march, final speaker Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., standing in front of the Lincoln Memorial, delivered his historic "I Have a Dream" speech in which he called for an end to racism.
• Estimates of the number of participants varied from 200,000 to 300,000, with 75–80% of the marchers being Black. It was a seminal event in US history.
• Today, the family of Dr. King are joining an expected crowd of tens of thousands of people gathering at the Lincoln Memorial to commemorate the original event.
• Got another back-to-school story for you. Meet Casey McGrath, a 28-year-old geometry teacher at Chattanooga Central High School in Tennessee. Last year she received a “teacher of the month” award.
• This year she’d been charged with statutory rape after allegedly having sex with one of her students. She was indicted on August 14 and charged with “unlawfully and knowingly engaging in sexual penetration with a person of at least 13 years of age, but less than 18. The indictment noted that she is at least 10 years older than the victim.
• McGrath is scheduled to be arraigned in Hamilton County Criminal Court on September 6.
• Real simple rule: don’t fuck people you teach. Don’t fuck coworkers, especially subordinates. Don’t fuck people in jails. And definitely do not ever have any kind of sex with anyone under the legal age of consent, because it’s rape by definition.
• I shouldn’t have to tell people that.
• Nikki Haley managed to fuck herself after a pretty decent showing in this week’s GOP debates.
• One day later, Nikki stated that she thinks the US' retirement age is "way too low" and needs to be increased. In an interview, Haley said the country should increase the retirement age in an attempt to address possible Social Security and Medicare insolvency.
• It’s a wildly unpopular idea for both conservative and liberal voters. Per a Quinnipiac poll from March 2023, nearly 80% of respondents opposed upping the retirement age even three years to 70 years old from the current age of 67.
• Bye Nikki.
• I forgot to mention a couple of whoppers from that debate from Florida governor Ron De Santis. In addition to the stolen valor of claiming he was a Navy Seal (which he absolutely was not), Ron said he would send US Special Forces into Mexico to confront drug cartels operating in the country. he said he would “do it on day one.”
• So to be clear, he would do a military invasion of an allied country unilaterally, without approval of Congress, to combat an issue that is mostly the fault of Americans creating a demand for these drugs.
• It’s just another example in a long list of evidence that shows this man is in no way qualified or capable or running a country. Look at his state, for Christ’s sake.
• And now, The Weather: “Away From The Castle” by Video Age
• Lots and lots of weather-related news today, with none of it being good. Tornadoes in Michigan, severe, damaging thunderstorms in central Illinois and Kentucky, and more. Stay safe, wherever you are.
• RIP to Bob Barker, who died today at age 99. He famously hosted “The Price Is Right” starting in 1972 and kept doing it until 2007. Barker spent more than a half a century on TV, taking over as host of the popular “Truth or Consequences” in 1956.
• Barker was also a longtime animal rights activist, ending each episode of “The Price Is Right” with his well-known catchphrase, “Help control the pet population. Have your pets spayed or neutered.”
• Do you live in San Diego? I did for awhile; my first year out of high school was spent at SDSU. I didn’t go to class much and spent my days taking bonghits and watching reruns of ‘Magnum P.I.’.
• But some residents in the San Diego area have been told to boil their tap water and use bottled water for drinking and cooking after E. coli was detected in the drinking water at a site in Imperial Beach, CA.
• Gross. More than 17,000 individual service lines are affected by the advisory.
• From the Sports Desk… Noah Lyles accomplished what no sprinter has since Usain Bolt, cruising to a 200-meter victory in 19.52 seconds to complete the ‘sprint double’ in Budapest, Hungary at the 2023 World Athletics Championships.
• And he did it just five days after winning the men’s 100-meter. The 26-year-old Lyles is easily and undeniably the fastest man on Earth right now.
• Today in history… the Delhi Sultanate takes Chittorgarh and kills thirty thousand Hindu inhabitants (1303). An English army easily defeats a French one twice its size at the Battle of Crécy (1346). Captain James Cook sets sail from England on board HMS Endeavor (1768). John Fitch gets a US patent for the steamboat (1791). The eruption of Krakatoa begins its final stage (1883). The 19th amendment takes effect, giving women the right to vote (1920). The 50th anniversary of US women being able to vote is marked by a nationwide Women's Strike for Equality (1970). The Games of the XX Olympiad open in Munich, West Germany (1972). 
• August 26 is the birthday of UK prime minister Robert Walpole (1676), mathematician Johann Heinrich Lambert (1728), UK prince consort Albert (1819), inventor Lee de Forest (1873), socialite/philanthropist Peggy Guggenheim (1898), Catholic saint Mother Teresa (1910), physicist Katherine Johnson (1918), journalist Irving R. Levine (1922), NBA player/coach Tommy Heinsohn (1934), politician Geraldine Ferraro (1935), voiceover artist Don LaFontaine (1940), drummer Moe Tucker (1944), singer-songwriter Leon Redbone (1949), NBA coach Stan Van Gundy (1959), saxophonist/composer Branford Marsalis (1960), singer-songwriter Shirley Manson (1966), actress Melissa McCarthy (1970), actor Macaulay Culkin (1980), actor Chris Pine (1980), actor/comedian John Mulaney (1982), MLB player Elvis Andrus (1988), NHL player Wayne Simmonds (1988), and NBA player James Harden (1989).

Okay, that’s all for now. I need to do something with this day, yet to be determined. Enjoy your day.