Random News: December 20, 2023

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s December 20, 2023, and it’s a Wednesday. Yes, for those of you paying attention, I was supposed to be having dental surgery today, but that’s been pushed back for a good while so we can take care of the nightmare of my teeth all at once, so here I am.

• And let’s start with some historic news.
• The Colorado Supreme Court ruled yesterday that El Dumpo is disqualified from holding the presidency under the Constitution's insurrection clause and ordered the secretary of state to exclude his name from the state's Republican presidential primary ballot.
• This is a landmark decision. It marks the first time a court has found Dump to be ineligible to return to the White House due to his conduct surrounding the January 6, 2021 failed coup attempt at the U.S. Capitol.
• The state’s supreme court affirmed the district judge’s other key conclusions: that Mr. Trump’s actions before and on January 6, 2021 constituted engaging in insurrection, and that courts had the authority to enforce constitutional laws against a person whom Congress had not specifically designated.
• “A majority of the court holds that President Trump is disqualified from holding the office of president under Section Three of the Fourteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution. Because he is disqualified, it would be a wrongful act under the Election Code for the Colorado Secretary of State to list him as a candidate on the presidential primary ballot.”
• Though we’ve done it before, let’s read the short blurb that makes up Section Three of the Fourteenth Amendment…
• Section 3 Disqualification from Holding Office: No person shall be a Senator or Representative in Congress, or elector of President and Vice-President, or hold any office, civil or military, under the United States, or under any State, who, having previously taken an oath, as a member of Congress, or as an officer of the United States, or as a member of any State legislature, or as an executive or judicial officer of any State, to support the Constitution of the United States, shall have engaged in insurrection or rebellion against the same, or given aid or comfort to the enemies thereof. But Congress may by a vote of two-thirds of each House, remove such disability.
• Some important notes. First, the ruling does not apply outside of Colorado. Second, the state high court paused its decision until January 4 — one day before the deadline for Colorado Secretary of State Jena Griswold to certify the candidates for the state's March 5 primary.
• As you would expect, Dump’s legal team immediately appealed the decision to the U.S. Supreme Court, setting up a high-stakes showdown over his eligibility to run just as voters in early states begin casting their ballots in the Republican primaries. 
• How will the SCOTUS rule? It’s impossible to guess. Some have opined that the Court will rule 9-0 in favor of Dump based on the language of the 14th Amendment not being specific enough, or based on the need to prove Dump’s role as having enacted insurrection.
• Others point out that this highly conservative SCOTUS would be supportive of Dump regardless of the law.
• And yet others feel that the Court will have a tough time trying to justify any defense of Dump based on conflicts with their own previous rulings. For example, conservative justice Neil Gorsuch once ruled that, "A state's legitimate interest in protecting the integrity and practical functioning of the political process permits it to exclude from the ballot candidates who are constitutionally prohibited from assuming office."
• Whatever is going to happen has to happen quickly… and other states might push forward with their own 14th Amendment arguments.
• Let’s move on for now.
• Yesterday, a federal judge in New York ordered a vast unsealing of court documents on January 1, 2024, that will make public the names of scores of Jeffrey Epstein's associates. Varying sources say the list of names ranges between 150 to upwards of 180 people.
• The documents are part of a settled civil lawsuit against Epstein's partner in crime Ghislaine Maxwell, who facilitated the sexual abuse of Virginia Giuffre. Maxwell is currently serving a 20-year prison sentence after she was convicted of sex trafficking and procuring girls for Epstein, who allegedly died by suicide in 2019.
• Anyone who did not successfully fight to keep their name out of the civil case could see their name become public, including Epstein's victims, co-conspirators and innocent associates.
• That’ll likely be pretty interesting.
• In other news…
• Senate Democrats celebrated the end of a months-long blockade of military promotions after Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) confirmed the advancements of 11 four-star generals last night.
• Schumer got unanimous consent to confirm the promotions, ending that asshole Tommy Tuberville’s (R-AL) blockade that began in February in protest of the Defense Department’s policy to provide travel cost reimbursements for service members that cross state lines to receive reproductive health care.
• In our continuing coverage oof the pieces of shit who tried to take our votes from us on January 6, 2021, meet Charles Donohoe, 35, a Proud Boys organizer from Kernersville, NC.
• Donohoe was a handpicked lieutenant to Proud Boys leader Henry “Enrique” Tarrio who cooperated with federal prosecutors against co-conspirators convicted of plotting to keep Donnie Dump in office.
• As a result, his sentence was a relatively light 40 months in prison. Donohoe is the first key cooperator from the group to face sentencing.
• And while we’re still on the topic of that fateful day in January 2021…
• Women for America First, a group formed to support Dumples, lied on a permit for the protest held at the Ellipse near the White House on January 6, 2021.
• “In preparation for WFAF’s demonstration at the Ellipse, the NPS coordinated with WFAF on logistics, required documentation, and security. Throughout the permitting process, the NPS asked WFAF if it planned to march after the demonstration, and WFAF repeatedly stated it did not.”
• Despite this, WFAF sent an email to supporters saying, “President Trump has drawn a line in the sand to save our republic. The showdown will be in Washington, DC on January 6th and the march for Trump is rallying all patriots from sea to shining sea.”
• And wrapping up our news on that idiot, on Monday Dump urged a primary candidate to challenge Rep. Chip Roy (R-TX) — despite the filing deadline passing a week ago.
• “Has any smart and energetic Republican in the Great State of Texas decided to run in the Primary against RINO Congressman Chip Roy. For the right person, he is very beatable. If interested, let me know!!!”
• But the Texas primary filing deadline passed on December 11. There are no other Republicans running in the March 5 primary to challenge Roy.
• Pffffft.
• Okay, moving on for real now.
• Sixty percent of children who have lost Medicaid coverage this year came from just nine states, all of which are Republican-led.
• Many of those kids may have been disenrolled because of a procedural issue and not necessarily because they were no longer eligible. Those states are Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Montana, New Hampshire, Ohio, South Dakota, and Texas.
• And now, The Weather: “Le Feu” by Bibi Club
• It’s been drizzling here for a couple of days in Southern California, but some areas are bracing for heavier rains and flooding. Stay safe, my neighbors.
• Let’s do a chart. It’s December 1982. I am a freshman in high school. MTV is a big deal. These are the top rock tracks.
• 1. You Got Lucky (Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers). 2. Down Under (Men at Work). 3. I Don’t Care (Phil Collins). 4. On The Loose (Saga). 5. I Do (The J. Geils Band). 6. Twilight Zone (Golden Earring). 7. Goody Two Shoes (Adam Ant). 8. Darlene (Led Zeppelin). 9. Looking For A Stranger (Pat Benatar). 10. Shadows Of The Night (Pat Benatar). 11. Stand Or Fall (The Fixx). 12. It’s Raining Again (Supertramp). 13. Your Love Is Driving Me Crazy (Sammy Hagar). 14. Ozone Baby (Led Zeppelin). 15. Strange Dreams (Frank Marino). 16. Rock The Casbah (The Clash). 17.  Like China (Phil Collins). 18. Poor Tom (Led Zeppelin). 19. Back On the Chain Gang (The Pretenders). 20. Hungry Like The Wolf (Duran Duran).
• From the Sports Desk… after claiming all season that he would make a miraculous recovery from the torn Achilles tendon he suffered in the first drive of the first game of his career with the New York Jets, 40-year-old quarterback Aaron Rodgers said yesterday that he won't play again this season.
• But Rodgers intends to play in 2024 and beyond. Shrug. Maybe he will.
• Today in history… Richard I of England is captured and imprisoned by Leopold V of Austria on his way home to England after the Third Crusade (1192). The Louisiana Purchase is completed at a ceremony in New Orleans (1803). South Carolina becomes the first state to attempt to secede from the United States (1860). Japanese air forces bomb Calcutta, India (1942). The EBR-1 in Arco, ID becomes the first nuclear power plant to generate electricity by powering four light bulbs (1953). Cardiff is proclaimed the capital city of Wales, United Kingdom (1955). The United States invasion of Panama deposes Manuel Noriega (1989). Elizabeth II becomes the oldest monarch in the history of the United Kingdom, surpassing Queen Victoria, who lived for 81 years and 243 days (2007). The United States Space Force becomes the first new branch of the United States Armed Forces since 1947 (2019). 
• December 20 is the birthday of physician/diplomat Arthur Lee (1740), composer Pietro Raimondi (1786), businessman Harvey Samuel Firestone (1868), physicist Robert J. Van de Graaff (1901), film director George Roy Hill (1921), actor John Hillerman (1932), drummer/songwriter Peter Criss (1945), director/screenwriter Dick Wolf (1946), musician/producer Alan Parsons (1948), singer Anita Ward (1956), singer-songwriter/guitarist Billy Bragg (1957), singer-songwriter/bass player Mike Watt (1957), bass player Jackie Fox (1959), NFL player Rich Gannon (1965), singer-songwriter Chris Robinson (1966), and actor Jonah Hill (1983).

So, I’m on a rather heavy antibiotic for my dental situation, and I’m not enjoying it at all. Augmentin may be very effective in slaying evil bacteria, but it’s also wreaking havoc on my body in ways I don’t care to offer details about, but isn’t fun in the slightest. Enjoy your day.