DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.
Good morning. It’s December 25, 2023, and it’s a Monday. Merry Christmas to all my friends and anonymous readers. I am up and have everything ready to go for the holiday… and an adult son who is far removed from the time he’s spring out of bed at the crack of dawn to see what’s under the tree. We’ll get the day rolling after everyone else in this house gets out of bed.
- Today is Christmas, a complicated holiday.
- I’ll tell you a story. There’s a retailer that was actually founded in March, but does their annual huge “Anniversary Sale” in August. Why? Because August was a slow sales month for them, and they ceremonially celebrated it at a convenient time for their business.
- Why am I mentioning this?
- Well, virtually all modern scholars of antiquity agree that Jesus Christ existed historically. So he was a real person, and by all accounts, a really decent dude as well.
- Jesus was the Woke King. He protested the racial divide between Jews and Samaritans, and was against the mutual hatred between the Jews and the Romans. Jesus opposed nationalism and xenophobia, or any discrimination and oppression practiced against a people based on their nationality, place of origin, or even religion.
- Jesus practiced inclusivity and acceptance. He associated with people from marginalized and stigmatized groups, such as tax collectors, prostitutes, and lepers. He challenged injustice. He confronted religious hypocrisy and social injustice, speaking out against oppressive systems and practices. He opposed greed and hypocrisy. And he told his followers on multiple occasions to stay aware of what was happening around them.
- “And what I say to you I say to all: Keep awake.” (Mark 13:37)
- So I think we’d get along pretty damn well, Jesus and I. We prioritize the same topics and talk about a lot of the same stuff, and we’re both Jews with scraggly beards. We could definitely have hung out.
- His actual name was Yeshua, or possibly the original Hebrew version of that name, Yehoshua. That name today in the English language would be Joshua. For reasons of translations and whatnot, we call him Jesus.
- He was a Jewish preacher and religious leader. His profession is well known as a carpenter, but his job title “τέκτων” could also refer to makers of objects in various materials, including woodworkers or builders.
- Fun fact: “Christ” is a title, not a last name. It means “anointed," and is usually transliterated into English as “messiah."
- Apart from all that, it’s believed by many religious and historical scholars that Jesus was probably born sometime in the summer, and despite our entire system of dates being based on his purported year of birth (i.e., it is currently been 2023 years), it’s more likely he was born somewhere in the range of 6 to 4 BC.
- So why do we celebrate this guy’s birthday in late December?
- It’s… convenient. There’s been a holiday at that time of year for thousands of years before Jesus came round. It was easier to just use that date as opposed to creating a whole other holiday. Makes sense.
- Directly before (and during) Christ, this holiday was also known as Yule and was celebrated by Germanic pagans, but that’s just one of many previous incarnations of the festivities.
- Romans in the pre-Christian era had celebrations for the Winter Solstice. December 25th was the Romans’ general date to mark the solstice, which is where the specific date of Christmas comes from.
- Also from ancient Rome, the celebration included adorning buildings and temples with evergreen plants, including evergreen trees, holly, mistletoe and ivy. So that’s where your Christmas tree started. The colors of green and red for Christmas are from these plants and their berries.
- But way before that, there is evidence that the time around the winter solstice was deemed an important observance for multiple cultures going as far back as the Neolithic, i.e., 10,000 years ago.
- Not all that long ago, many Christian sects prohibited Christmas. The Puritans in England and in Colonial New England outlawed Christmas on the grounds that Christmas was not mentioned in Scripture and therefore violated their principles of worship.
- Booooooo.
- Anyway, Jesus is the main character of Christianity, the world's most popular religion. I am happy to celebrate the concepts of Christianity, many of which seem pretty good to me.
- Happy birthday, Jesus.
- As I’ve done my entire life, despite being ethnically Jewish and religiously a devoted lifelong atheist, I celebrate Christmas. We give presents and cook a big-ass feast. Tonight’s menu…
- Roast beef, mashed potatoes, brown gravy, roasted carrots with apple cider gastrique, green beans with mushrooms and shallots, and a pecan pie.
- I bought the pie.
- I think what I like most about Christmas is the concept of having at least one day where people are willing to acknowledge that peace on Earth and goodwill toward men is something we should strive for.
- I can get behind that shit, all year long.
- And now, The Weather: “Wait and See (Real Good)” by Intac
- From the Sports Desk… congrats to the Detroit Lions, who yesterday earned their first NFL division title in 30 years, and will also host their first ever playoff game at Ford Field, where they’ve played since 2002.
- Today in history… First documented sign of Christmas celebration in Rome (336). The coronation of Charlemagne — my 39th great-grandfather — as Holy Roman Emperor, in Rome (800). William the Conqueror, Duke of Normandy — my 29th great-grandfather — is crowned king of England, at Westminster Abbey, London (1066). The Santa María, commanded by Christopher Columbus, runs onto a reef off Haiti due to an improper watch (1492). Halley's Comet is sighted by Johann Georg Palitzsch, confirming Edmund Halley's prediction of its passage (1758). George Washington and the Continental Army cross the Delaware River at night to attack Hessian forces serving Great Britain at Trenton, New Jersey, the next day (1776). The Handel and Haydn Society, oldest continually performing arts organization in the United States, gives its first performance (1815). United States President Andrew Johnson grants an unconditional pardon to all Confederate veterans (1868). A series of unofficial truces occur across the Western Front of WWI to celebrate Christmas (1914). Israeli Prime Minister Menachem Begin meets in Egypt with its president Anwar Sadat (1977). Mikhail Gorbachev resigns as President of the Soviet Union and the union itself is dissolved the next day (1991). The Cassini orbiter releases Huygens probe which successfully landed on Saturn's moon Titan on January 14, 2005 (2004). An explosion in Nashville, Tennessee occurs, leaving three civilians in the hospital (2020). The James Webb Space Telescope is launched (2021).
- December 25 is the birthday of physicist/mathematician Isaac Newton (1642), diarist/poet Dorothy Wordsworth (1771), nurse/humanitarian Clara Barton (1821), busiensswoman/philanthropist Helena Rubinstein (1872), race car driver/businessman Louis Chevrolet (1878), businessman Conrad Hilton (1887), actor Humphrey Bogart (1899), singer/bandleader Cab Calloway (1907), screenwriter/producer Rod Serling (1924), anthropologist/author Carlos Castaneda (1925), singer-songwriter O'Kelly Isley Jr. (1937), keyboardist/songwriter Bob James (1939), NFL player Ken Stabler (1945), singer-songwriter/guitarist Jimmy Buffett (1946), NFL player Larry Csonka (1946), singer Merry Clayton (1948), actress Sissy Spacek (1949), singer-songwriter Annie Lennox (1954), singer-songwriter Alannah Myles (1958), singer-songwriter Dido (1971), Canada prime minister Justin Trudeau (1971), and NBA player Eric Gordon (1988).
Okay. I’m gonna wake some people’s assess up, get dressed, put on some music, and open some presents. Merry Christmas everyone. Enjoy your day.
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