DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.
Good morning. It’s January 24, 2024, and it’s a Wednesday. I’m going to be brief on today’s news for reasons that will be shortly apparent.
- I’ll note up front today… you’re going to have to find your own news for a little bit.
- Where will I be? Working a trade show. And while I have often had the optimistic idea that I’ll find time to write these news bullets in the morning before I head into the madness, the reality is that when my brain is in show mode, it’s nearly impossible for me to focus in the way that is required for me to pick and choose the news that’s appropriate for this little column.
- So, Thursday through Sunday, I’ll drop some posts when I can, but they won’t be in regard to things that actually matter. Just a heads-up so you don’t think I’ve stopped.
- I will not stop.
- For today, though, let’s start with the 100% unsurprising news that former president and current accused felon Donnie Dump won the GOP new Hampshire primary over former U.N. ambassador Nikki Haley.
- I expect that Haley will soon drop out and endorse Dump… if not soon, then after the South Carolina primary on February 24, which she will also lose.
- President Joe Biden was not on the ballot in New Hampshire, but still won the primary by overwhelming numbers as a write-in candidate. He faced 21 opponents, many of whom have names like Vermin Supreme, Paperboy Prince, and President Boddie (I’m not making any of this up).
- There are two semi-legitimate fools going up against Biden: Rep. Dean Phillips (D-MN) and author Marianne Williamson. They didn’t make a big impact in the NH primary, nor will they elsewhere.
- Biden’s victory in New Hampshire — despite not being on the ballot — was so impressive that it surpassed Barack Obama’s performance in the state in 2012, a year he ran unopposed in the primary.
- Of note: Dump beat Haley by just 11 points in New Hampshire. Biden crushed his nearest opponent by 46 points.
- We need to step back a moment and talk about the mental health of Donald John Trump. His signs of dementia and decline overall are getting worse on a daily basis.
- You tell me what this Dumpy quote means…
- “We are an institute in a powerful death penalty. We will put this on.”
- In other news…
- A day after the US Supreme Court voted to let federal Border Patrol agents remove the razor wire barrier along a contested section of the US-Mexico, the wire is still up. The Department of Homeland Security demanded Texas gives it full access to the border by January 26.
- And in fact, Texas has said Eagle Pass’ Shelby Park area is open to the public, but US Customs and Border Protection have been blocked from accessing it.
- In typical Republican fashion of disobeying laws they don’t like, Republican congressman Chip Roy is encouraging officials in his home state of Texas to ignore the Supreme Court ruling.
- This is the same mentality that led to January 6. Chip Roy should consider how his statements and actions will be perceived when read back in court.
- Moving on, for now.
- Kevin Monahan, the 66-year-old man who fatally shot a 20-year-old woman when the car she was in came up his driveway at night, was found guilty yesterday of second-degree murder, reckless endangerment in the first degree, and tampering with physical evidence.
- Kalyin Gillis was shot by Monahan in April 2023. She was a passenger in a car that mistakenly turned around in Monahan’s driveway. Monahan’s laughable defense was that the gun malfunctioned and fired the deadly shot without Monahan pulling the trigger.
- I’ll look forward to his sentencing.
- In international news, after 20 months of demands, obstruction and delay, last night the Turkish parliament voted in favor of Sweden joining NATO, clearing one of the final hurdles for a major expansion of the military alliance set in motion by Russia’s invasion of Ukraine.
- That is awesome. Looking forward to welcoming Sweden to our team.
- In other news, do you recall Martin Shkreli, the guy known as “Pharma Bro” and was informally voted to have the most punchable face in history?
- Shkreli was known for hiking the price of a life-saving drug more than 4,000%. He later served more than four years in prison following his 2017 conviction for defrauding investors in two hedge funds and scheming to defraud investors in another drugmaker.
- Yesterday, a three-judge panel of the 2nd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in Manhattan said a lower court judge acted properly in imposing a lifetime ban on Shkreli from the pharmaceutical industry, and ordered him to repay $64.6 million because of his antitrust violations.
- Good. Fuck that guy.
- Let’s talk about a much. letter guy: Wisconsin Gov. Tony Evers.
- Evers vowed in his State of the State speech yesterday to veto any bill that would limit access to abortions, and he announced plans to expand access to emergency contraception.
- Enrollees in the state’s BadgerCare Plus Medicaid program will have access to over-the-counter contraception, including emergency contraception, without a separate prescription. The medication will be provided without any out-of-pocket costs.
- Well done, sir. That’s how you do it. I will opine that state leaders who try and attack women’s reproductive rights will soon find themselves out of jobs across the country.
- And now, The Weather: “The Birds Attacked My Hot Air Balloon” by Pile
- I mentioned the torrential rainstorm I awoke to on Monday. Most of LA County’s coastline saw between one and three inches of rain over the last three days. The San Gabriel Valley saw almost three inches of rain.
- Typically sunny San Diego has a new record on Monday – the "wettest day in January history.” The Southern California city saw 2.73 inches of rain on Monday, beating the previous record for the wettest January day that was set on Jan. 31, 1979.
- Rest in peace to award-winning journalist Charles Osgood, who anchored "CBS Sunday Morning" for 22 years. He was 91.
- Osgood was a gifted news writer, poet and author, and spent 45 years at CBS News before retiring in September 2016.
- From the Sports Desk… congrats to the newest batch of Baseball Hall of Famers: Adrian Beltre, Joe Mauer and Todd Helton all exceeded the 75% threshold required from the Baseball Writers' Association of America to gain entry to Cooperstown.
- Today in history… Claudius is proclaimed Roman emperor by the Praetorian Guard after they assassinate the previous emperor, his nephew Caligula (41). King Henry VIII of England suffers an accident while jousting, leading to a brain injury that historians say may have influenced his later erratic behavior and possible impotence (1536). King Charles II of England dissolves the Cavalier Parliament (1679). James W. Marshall finds gold at Sutter's Mill near Sacramento, CA (1848). The first Boy Scout troop is organized in England by Robert Baden-Powell (1908). In Brushaber v. Union Pacific Railroad Co., the Supreme Court of the United States declares the federal income tax constitutional (1916). The 20th Amendment to the United States Constitution is ratified, changing the beginning and end of terms for all elected federal offices (1933). The Voyager 2 space probe makes its closest approach to Uranus (1986). Notorious serial killer Ted Bundy, with over 30 known victims, is executed by the electric chair at the Florida State Prison (1989). The United States Department of Homeland Security officially begins operation (2003).
- January 24 is the birthday of Roman emperor Hadrian (76), philosopher Christian Wolff (1679), Prussian king Frederick the Great (1712), US Air Force general Hoyt Vandenberg (1899), businessman J. Howard Marshall (1905), painter Robert Motherwell (1915), evangelist Oral Roberts (1918), singer-songwriter Ray Stevens (1939), singer-songwriter Neil Diamond (1941), singer Aaron Neville (1941), actress Sharon Tate (1943), congressman John Garamendi (1945), singer-songwriter Warren Zevon (1947), actor John Belushi (1949), NBA player Mark Eaton (1957), pianist/singer-songwriter Jools Holland (1958), actress Nastassja Kinski (1961), actor Phil LaMarr (1967), gymnast Mary Lou Retton (1968), actor Matthew Lillard (1970), actor Ed Helms (1974), actress Mischa Barton (1986), and NFL coach Sean McVay (1986).
Okay. I’ll miss you while I’m gone for a little while. I mean, I’ll still be here, just without the news. Enjoy your day.
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