Random News: January 8, 2024

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s January 8, 2024, and it’s a Monday. I’m up and dressed, the sun is rising, the birds are chirping. Let’s see what else is up.

• It’s the first actual Monday in awhile, the past two falling on New Year’s Day and Christmas. Definitely has that Monday feel going thus far.
• Let’s start with some violence on the international front.
• An Israeli airstrike killed Wissam al-Tawil, an elite Hezbollah commander, in southern Lebanon today. It’s the latest in an escalating exchange of strikes along the border that have raised fears of another Mideast war even as the fighting in Gaza exacts a mounting toll on civilians.
• For those of you who are geographically and/or sociopolitically impaired, this is not the war that Israel is fighting against terrorist organization Hamas that’s located to their south in Gaza. Hezbollah is a different group entirely, and this happened along the border of Israel and Lebanon.
• I don’t see how escalating this conflict is in Israel’s (or the world’s) best interest.
• Moving on.
• The found the missing door plug panel of that Alaska Airlines flight on Friday that detached from the plane midflight. It was in the backyard of a Portland, OR resident named Bob.
• The NTSB will be picking it up for analysis.
• The more fascinating part of this is that people also found two Apple iPhones from the flight — one in a yard and another on the side of the road — and both were undamaged and working fine after having fallen from 16,000 feet.
• Sure, you drop yours three feet and it shatters, but these fell from three miles high are are fine. The phones were turned in and presumably will be returned to their owners.
• Also fine: all the people on the aircraft. As we mentioned over the weekend, the FAA has ordered some Boeing 737 Max 9 airplanes to be grounded and issued a directive requiring inspections before certain aircraft can fly again. The new directive affects 171 planes worldwide.
• Moving on.
• In the wake of a deadly shooting at Perry High School, Iowa students are planning to walk out of class today and march to the state Capitol to protest what they say is lawmakers' inaction on gun violence.
• This call to action was organized by March For Our Lives Iowa. A Perry High School student shot and killed an 11-year-old sixth-grader, and injured seven others at the school on Thursday. 
• Akshara Eswar, one of the group's state directors, said, ”The shooting has hit really close to home for a lot of us. People are angry. They're thinking about it constantly."
• I am too, along with the many daily instances of gun violence that ruin lives and tear apart families. As I mentioned yesterday, Donnie Dump said that people should just get over it and move on.
• Dump can fuck off. The time to act is now.
• In another follow-up news item, it seems like defense secretary Lloyd Austin’s hospitalization remained secret for longer than previously known. It turns out he had an initial medical procedure as far back as December 22, and went home a day later.
• But then a week ago on Monday January 1, Austin, who is 70, had to be admitted to intensive care at Walter Reed military hospital in Maryland after experiencing severe pain. He should have informed the proper people immediately, and didn’t.
• They need to straighten that shit out.
• Moving on.
• Some possible good news in regard to the government doing their fucking jobs came out yesterday when House and Senate leaders announced a spending deal for government funding in 2024, the first step to averting a shutdown later this month even as that threat still looms.
• House Speaker Mike Johnson and Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer announced a deal that includes $1.59 trillion for fiscal year 2024, with $886 billion for defense spending and $704 in non-defense spending. They also agreed to a $69 billion side deal in adjustments that will go toward non-defense domestic spending.
• Their agreement will reduce the chances of a shutdown ahead of two funding deadlines: January 19 and February 2. Congress will still have to approve funding bills — or a stopgap resolution to avoid a shutdown by the deadlines. It remains uncertain how that effort will play out even with this funding level deal in place.
• Moving on with some weekend news from everyone’s favorite trailer park beauty queen, Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-CO). An investigation is being conducted into an apparent altercation Saturday between BoBo and her ex-husband, Jayson, at a restaurant in western Colorado.
• It’s unclear exactly what happened, but Boebert’s campaign released a statement yesterday in which she said she “didn’t punch Jayson in the face and no one was arrested.”
• Snort.
• In other political news, President Biden’s reelection campaign raised more than $1 million through online fundraising alone in the 24 hours after the president’s Jan. 6 anniversary speech.
• Biden took off the fucking gloves on Friday and gave a full throated attack against The Dumpster, and warned Americans that Dumpy's reelection would pose a threat to American democracy.
• The Biden campaign noted that they see preserving democracy as a political winner for the president in 2024. I agree.
• And now, The Weather: “Pile” by Loops
• More than 40 states from Washington to Massachusetts are set to be impacted by new winter storms on the move.
• After up to 18 inches of snow pummeled California to Colorado this weekend, nine states in the West and the Plains are under blizzard warnings today. The storm will impact Washington, Oregon, Idaho, New Mexico, Colorado, Texas, Oklahoma, Kansas, and Nebraska.
• From the Sports Desk… the NFL playoffs are set! Here’s the seeding and the schedule for the entire Wild Card round. All times Pacific.
• AFC: Baltimore Ravens (1) - first round bye. Pittsburgh Steelers (7) at Buffalo Bills (2) - Sunday 10am. Miami Dolphins (6) at Kansas City Chiefs (3) - Saturday 5pm. Cleveland Browns (5) at Houston Texans (4) - Saturday 1:30pm.
• NFC: San Francisco 49ers (1) - first round bye. Green Bay Packers (7) at Dallas Cowboys (2) - Sunday 1:30pm. Los Angeles Rams (6) at Detroit Lions (3) - Sunday 5pm. Philadelphia Eagles (5) at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (4) - Monday 5:15pm.
• I will note that in both conferences, the teams with the best record are those who made the playoffs. Nothing feels unfair or weird about the teams included or the seeding.
• I’ll be giving you the official odds on all games before the weekend.
• In related Sports Desk news, the Washington Commanders finished their season with a 4-13 record and fired coach Ron Rivera this morning.
• Poor Ron. It was his birthday yesterday.
• Today in history… The premiere of George Frideric Handel's ‘Ariodante’ takes place at the Royal Opera House, Covent Garden (1735). George Washington delivers the first State of the Union address in New York City (1790). In the Battle of New Orleans, Andrew Jackson leads American forces in victory over the British (1815). The Democratic Party of the United States is organized (1828). The United States Congress passes the bill to allow African American men the right to vote in Washington, D.C. (1867). President Woodrow Wilson announces his "Fourteen Points" for the aftermath of World War I (1918). Britain introduces food rationing for WWII (1940). Charles de Gaulle is proclaimed as the first President of the French Fifth Republic (1959). President Lyndon B. Johnson declares a "War on Poverty" in the United States (1964). The trial of seven men accused of illegal entry into Democratic Party headquarters at Watergate begins (1973). Ella T. Grasso becomes Governor of Connecticut, the first woman to serve as a Governor in the United States other than by succeeding her husband (1975). AT&T agrees to divest itself of twenty-two subdivisions in the breakup of the Bell System (1982). President George W. Bush signs into law the No Child Left Behind Act (2002). Congresswoman Gabby Giffords is shot in the head along with 18 others in a mass shooting in Tucson, AZ (2011). 
• January 8 is the birthday of composer/conductor Hans von Bülow (1830), philanthropist Winnaretta Singer (1865), economist/sociologist/pacifist Emily Greene Balch (1867), physicist Walther Bothe (1891), burlesque entertainer Gypsy Rose Lee (1911), actor Larry Storch (1923), comedian Soupy Sales (1926), businessman Bill Graham (1931), journalist Charles Osgood (1933), singer Shirley Bassey (1937), actor Graham Chapman (1941), physicist Stephen Hawking (1942), guitarist/songwriter Robby Krieger (1946), singer Mike Reno (1955), businesswoman Betsy DeVos (1958), drummer Dave Weckl (1960), singer-songwriter Andrew Wood (1966), singer/convicted felon R. Kelly (1967), and MLB player Jason Giambi (1971).

Well, chances are that it’s chilly wherever you are this morning (assuming you’re somewhere in the northern hemisphere and not near the equator). Chilly is always relative; it’s 42 degrees here in the Los Angeles area, which is cold for us. That would not be cold in Minnesota and many other places, but I reserve the right to talk about how cold I am. Enjoy your day.