Random News: August 22, 2024

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s August 22, 2024, and it’s a Thursday for some reason. I’m trying to get my brain functioning in the land of reality after a full night’s sleep, and am having difficulty. The coffee is probably helping. Let’s do the news, which may also help.

• Yesterday was Day 3 of the Democratic National Convention.
• Some of the political presenters included Sen. Cory Booker, Sen. Chris Murphy, Sen. Catharine Cortez Masto, Sen. Amy Klobuchar, Rep. Hakeem Jeffries, Rep. (and Speaker Emerita) Nancy Pelosi, Gov. Wes Moore, Gov. Josh Shapiro, Sec. Pete Buttigieg, former President Bill Clinton, and the headliner, Governor and VP nominee Tim Walz.
• Additionally, there were a number of Republicans there to add their support to the Harris/Walz ticket, including Olivia Troye, former White House counterterrorism advisor under Dump, and Geoff Duncan, the former Lt. Gov. of Georgia.
• Both gave rousing speeches encouraging other Republicans to remove their support from Dump. “If you vote for Kamala Harris in 2024, you’re not a Democrat, you’re a patriot,” said Duncan.
• Everyone was surprised by the appearance of Oprah Winfrey. She is a political independent and it’s rare to see her aligned with a party or candidate as such. 
• SNL’s Keenan Thompson did a scarily hilarious bit on Project 2025.
• The presentations about January 6 — including a graphic video and an emotional speech by former Capitol Police officer Aquilino Gonell — were a chilling reminder of what we’re fighting for.
• There were musical performances there, including Stevie Wonder performing “Higher Ground” after a terrific speech, and then John Legend and Sheila E. (with Ari O'Neal on guitar) doing Prince’s “Let’s Go Crazy” in honor of Tim Walz.
• Speaking on whom… 
• I can’t imagine any American being able to dislike Tim Walz. The man is one of the most real politicians — or people as a whole — I’ve ever witnessed in my life. He gave a near-perfect speech while accepting the nomination as VP.
• And when this is all done, one of the points that people will look back on will be the sight of Tim’s son Gus standing up, crying, and pointing at the stage with pride, yelling, “That’s my dad! That’s my dad!” over and over.
• We’re going to win this.
• Today is the fourth and final day of the DNC, where Kamala Harris will officially accept her historic nomination for President.
• In addition to Harris, presenters and performers will include pop star Pink, North Carolina Gov. Roy Cooper, Rev. Al Sharpton, former GOP Illinois Rep. Adam Kinzinger, and many more.
• My favorite way to watch the DNC? On TV or via YouTube, just go to CSPAN. No commentary, not analysis, not bullshit.
• Moving on.
• The political wonks are now all saying that RFK Jr. is going to be dropping out of the presidential race by the end of the week, and will be endorsing Dump.
• Nothing about the above sentence should surprise anyone. Dudes with brain worms like Dump. Dudes who eat roadkill like Dump. It all tracks.
• His campaign director, Amaryllis Fox, sent an email to staff yesterday thanking them for their contributions, and she informed them that he was mulling suspending his campaign.
• In recent times, Kennedy has begged both the Dump and Harris campaigns to serve in their respective administrations. The Dump campaign seemed interested, or at least Dump pretended to be. The Harris campaign wouldn’t even discuss it with him.
• Remember, it’s much more in Dump’s interest for RFK Jr. to drop out. It was estimated that for each vote he might take from harris, he’d be taking 3-4 from Dump.
• I want to go back to Project 2025 for just a moment.
• As you know, Dumpy has repeatedly denied his involvement in the conservative wish list organized by the Heritage Foundation.
• But a line-by-line review identified at least 270 proposals in Project 2025's published blueprint for the next Republican president that match Trump's past policies and current campaign promises.
• From shuttering the Department of Education to excising every mention of Diversity, Equity and Inclusion from federal agencies' projects and programs, the Project 2025 agenda often matches Trump's recorded words and his Administration's deeds.
• When they tell you what they’re going to do, believe them.
• Let’s move on to some more important news.
• With so much joy at the DNC, it’s kinda hard being Snoop D-O Double G.
• Wait, no. I mean to say I’ve been neglecting some other news stories due to time spent talking about the DNC, understandably.
• One item of note was Tuesday’s primary election in Florida, where it seems that once-newsworthy Gov. Ron DeSantis — remember him? — is running out of juice.
• Across the state, voters in a low-turnout election rejected DeSantis-endorsed culture warriors, election deniers, and MAGA pricks, even in the most red parts of Florida
• His hand-picked candidates lost at least 11 of the 23 school board races in which he endorsed.
• In deep red St. Johns County, a former official in the DeSantis and Rick Scott administrations, who ran with both of their endorsements, lost the Republican primary for a state House seat.
• In Sarasota, voters rejected a DeSantis-endorsed candidate for the school board and handed victory to an incumbent the governor had targeted for removal. In Miami, a place where Republicans have made significant gains, a Democratic mayor cruised to re-election.
• So Ron-Ron’s grip on that state is obviously much less consequential than people believed, and it doesn’t bode well for his future runs for President (which you know he’s planning to make).
• In other news…
• In our continuing coverage of the pricks who perpetuated the attempted coup on January 6, 2021, meet Kellye SoRelle.
• Kellye SoRelle, 45, was indicted in 2022 on charges that she conspired with far-right militias to obstruct the joint session of Congress to confirm Joe Biden’s victory in the 2020 presidential election, and that she persuaded others to withhold or destroy records.
• She served as a go-between for Oath Keepers leader Stewart Rhodes and Henry “Enrique” Tarrio, a leader of the Proud Boys, on the eve of the Jan. 6 attack.
• SoRelle pleaded guilty to a felony count of obstruction of justice for tampering with documents, and a misdemeanor charge of entering restricted Capitol grounds. In exchange, prosecutors dropped two other counts in her indictment, including conspiring to obstruct an official proceeding.
• As you’re aware, our far-right Supreme Court ruled 6-3 in June that prosecutors could not broadly apply that charge to people who attempted to derail Congress’s certification of the presidential election.
• At her plea hearing yesterday, SoRelle, who was Rhodes’s girlfriend, admitted she had written several encrypted texts urging other rioters to delete messages about their participation in the Jan. 6 insurrection. Those text messages were the basis of her felony conviction.
• The judge scheduled SoRelle’s sentencing for January 17. She faces a statutory maximum penalty of 21 years of incarceration, though the judge estimated that under federal sentencing guidelines she would get six to 16 months.
• Pffft. Okay then.
• How about a little business news?
• Let’s chat for a moment about the worst investment made in the history of money: Elmo Muck’s purchase of Twitter, now known as X.
• When he bought it back in 2022 for $44 billion (!), everyone knew he was overpaying… by a lot. Elon knew too; that’s why he desperately tried to back out of the purchase.
• But then he couldn’t legally since he’d already made the commitment, and I think he was super embarrassed by the entire thing, and was wealthy enough to go through with the insane deal even though he didn’t want to.
• How bad was it really, though? According to a report from the Wall Street Journal this week, it was the worst corporate acquisition deal since the global financial crisis in 2008.
• Seven banks loaned Musk money totaling $13 billion in 2022 to help him buy Twitter. Now, every single one has been unable to offload the debt without incurring major losses. The loans are just sitting on the balance sheets of these banks.
• WSJ says that makes it not only one of the worst deals since 2008, it’s one of the worst deals of all time.
• Musk and other investors brought roughly $30 billion in cash to the table, while the banks supplied the other $13 billion to finalize the purchase.
• Top investment bankers at Barclays were told at a dinner in late 2023 that everyone would be getting at least a 40% pay cut as a result. And when they sent out weak bonuses, about 50 of the company’s 200 directors left.
• All because of little Elmo’s big ego. Sad.
• And now, with X having become a haven for far-right MAGA and Nazi elements, no brand in their right mind wants to advertise there. And yet Muck threatened to sue companies for NOT advertising there, which is pretty much insane.
• All this means there’s no business model or income stream that could ever allow for Elmo to counter his huge loss. Ever.
• So sad, too bad.
• In other business news…
• Ford is scrapping its plans for an all-electric SUV. They’re saying drivers instead want hybrids.
• Whats the consumer objection to all-electric in the SUV realm? Pretty simple. High prices and road trip range anxiety.
• I think this is understandable. Yes, we’d like to eliminate fossil fuel use within our lifetimes. But there’s a practicality to what people can actually afford and what kind of expected performance it provides that until those numbers meet up, it’s a hard sell.
• Be aware, Ford is still very much in the hybrid realm, as are most manufacturers at this point. That’s a lot better — for the environment and everyone — than pure gas guzzlers.
• In idiot news, police in New Jersey are looking for a woman who climbed over a fence at the tiger enclosure at the Cohanzick Zoo to pet the big kitty.
• I’m not sure I have to mention this, but a Bengal tiger weighs over 500 pounds and can kill you without even trying hard.
• After the tiger made a halfhearted effort to nip at her hand, the woman then quickly moved back before the Bengal tiger turned away. That was the fist good idea she had that day.
• And now, The Weather: “On A Sunday” by Holy Fool
• From the Sports Desk… longtime Cincinnati Reds first baseman Joey Votto, a six-time All-Star and the 2010 MVP in the National League, has retired.
• The 40-year-old made the announcement on social media last night. "I was myself in this sport. I was able to be my best self. I played this sport with every last ounce of my body, heart, and mind. Thank you for everything."
• Really great ballplayer. Seems like a good guy too.
• Today in history… King Richard III dies at the Battle of Bosworth Field (1485). The English civil War begins (1642). The first America’s Cup is won by a yacht called ‘America’ (1851). 12 nations sign the first Geneva Convention (1864). Cadillac Motor Company is founded (1902). Michael Collins of the Irish Free State army is shot dead in an ambush (1922). German troops begin the siege of Leningrad (1941). Nolan Ryan becomes first to get 5,000 strikeouts (1989). Roy Moore is suspended for refusing to remove a 10 Commandments rock in the Alabama Supreme Court building (2003). 
• August 22 is the birthday of physicist Denis Papin (1647), pianist/composer Claude Debussy (1862), writer/satirist Dorothy Parker (1893), filmmaker/;propagandist Leni Riefenstahl (1902), singer-songwriter/guitarist John Lee Hooker (1917), writer Ray Bradbury (1920), US general Norman Schwarzkopf (1934), writer Annie Proulx (1935), actress Valerie Harper (1939), MLB player Carl Yastrzemski (1939), writer/director David Chase (1945), singer Donna Jean Godchaux (1947), actress Cindy Williams (1947), guitarist/songwriter Vernon Reid (1958), singer-songwriter Roland Orzabal (1961), singer-songwriter/pianist Tori Amos (1963), rapper GZA (1966), singer-songwriter Layne Staley (1967), actress Kristen Wiig (1973), TV host James Corden (1978), NFL player Randall Cobb (1990), singer-songwriter Dua Lipa (1995), NFL player Maxx Crosby (1997), and NBA player LaMelo Ball (2001).

That’s plenty for now. Enjoy your day.