Random News: August 31, 2024

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s August 31, 2024, and it’s a Saturday. I have things to do today, above and beyond the typical Saturday.

• I guess we can start with that. In a world filled with stress and strife, the mundane becomes unusual.
• If all goes well, I am buying a new mattress today. My current mattress has worked very well for the last 15 years or so, but it’s at a point where my mattressmate is having some back issues, and with it being Labor Day weekend, I’m not above saving hundreds of dollars on something we’re going to have to purchase eventually regardless.
• So after I do this news and have breakfast and get appropriately presentable for public appearance, we’ll head to one of the 17,000 or so mattress outlet places in the neighboring city of Torrance, CA.
• Because while I am looking at online buying guides and reviews and price comparisons and testimonials, I definitely need to feel this thing before we commit to it for the next 15 years.
• Holy fuck, I’ll be 70 next time I buy a fucking mattress. That’s assuming I live that long, Statistically and genetically I should, but there are no guarantees. Might as well buy a nice one. Life’s too short to not enjoy sleep.
• Okay, let’s do the news.
• Starting with Donnie the Flipper Dump, proving once again that attempts to please everyone end up pleasing no one.
• As I mentioned yesterday, a couple of days ago, a reporter asked El Dumpo his thoughts on the abortion ballot measure in his state of Florida. He clearly responded that he thought six weeks was too short a period to ban abortions.
• That lasted… less than a day. His evangelical supporters lost their minds over his response, feeling like their dream of controlling American women had turned into a nightmare.
• Yesterday, he and his campaign issued an official statement that was the opposite of Dump’s response, and that he would indeed enthusiastically support Florida’s draconian six-week abortion ban.
• Kamala Harris had something to say about that.
• “Donald Trump just made his position on abortion very clear: He will vote to uphold an abortion ban so extreme it applies before many women even know they are pregnant. Trump proudly brags about the role that he played in overturning Roe v. Wade and said there should be punishment for women who have an abortion. So, of course he thinks it's a 'beautiful thing' that women in Florida and across the country are being turned away from emergency rooms, face life-threatening situations, and are forced to travel hundreds of miles for the care they need.”
• Harris went on to point out that Dump’s Project 2025 agenda has him limiting Americans’ access to birth control, threaten access to fertility treatments, and ban abortion nationwide, with or without Congress.
• She has vowed to sign into law the enshrinement of reproductive rights for women in all 50 states, returning the protections that Dump took away when his hand-picked Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade in 2022.
• Another big moment in Flippy Floppy Donnie news happened when Dump made a campaign promise that people would get free IVF (in vitro fertilization) treatments under his presidency (without offering any explanation as to how they’d be paid for, making some vague statement that the bill would be footed by the “government, or insurance companies”).
• But in recent months, the far-right Republican Alabama state Supreme Court ruled this year that embryos created via IVF were to be considered people, a move that led the largest fertility clinics in the state to pause their IVF care.
• A bill aimed at expanding IVF access, meanwhile, sailed through in California on Thursday, despite opposition from nearly all Republican lawmakers.
• And earlier this year, Senate Republicans blocked legislation that would have made IVF a federal right. All Republicans except Sens. Lisa Murkowski of Alaska and Susan Collins of Maine voted against the measure.
• All nine GOP Senators running for re-election voted against it: John Barrasso, Marsha Blackburn, Kevin Cramer, Ted Cruz, Deb Fischer, Josh Hawley, Pete Ricketts, Rick Scott, and Roger Wicker.
• And so did Dumpy’s little VP candidate, JD Vance.
• An AP-NORC poll conducted in June found that more than 6 in 10 U.S. adults support protecting access to IVF, including more than half of Republicans, and only about 1 in 10 are opposed.
• But many anti-abortion groups and lawmakers oppose the treatment, including members of the right-wing Freedom Caucus, who have objected to expanding IVF access for veterans.
• So which one is it, Republicans? Do you or don’t you support IVF? And if so, why did you all vote against it?
• Moving on.
• We don’t talk about polls here, but I’m going to make mention of one with the intent of warning you.
• The most recent poll from USA TODAY/Suffolk University shows that Kamala Harris has surged ahead of old Donnie Dump 48%-43%.
• The findings reflect an eight-point turnaround in the presidential race from late June, when Dump had led Joe Biden in the survey by nearly four points.
• Harris's lead was fueled by big shifts among some key demographic groups traditionally crucial for Democrats, including Hispanic and Black voters and young people. Check out the biggest change: people with annual incomes of less than $20,000 had a three-point Dump edge over Biden in June.
• That’s turned around to a current 23-point Harris advantage over Dump in August.
• So, great news, right? The election is in the bag. It’s gonna be a landslide.
• Nope. Not even close. Harris is still a big underdog.
• The 2024 race remains significantly closer compared to how things stood in 2020 with then-Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden at the top of the ticket.
• In 2020, the polls consistently showed Biden leading Trump. While Biden went on to handily win the popular vote, the election came down to just tens of thousands of votes in several critical battleground states.
• So those polls were very misleading, and underestimated Dump’s support in various locations and among various demographics.
• If you want to prevent the horrors of another Dump presidency, you have to take action with the assumption that Harris still has a long way to go. Start by making sure you’re registered to vote, then ensuring the same for your family and friends.
• And then consider helping in a more widespread way by volunteering to help with campaign events at https://web.kamalaharris.com/forms/take-action-for-kamala-harris/.
• And note there are just 65 more days until the election. Act now. Do not wait.
• Let’s move on.
• Yesterday, a Brazilian Supreme Court justice ordered the suspension of Elon Musk’s social media shithole X in Brazil after Elmo refused to name a legal representative in the country.
• Justice Alexandre de Moraes had warned Mucky on Wednesday night that X could be blocked in Brazil if he failed to comply with his order to name a representative, and established a 24-hour deadline.
• In his decision, de Moraes gave internet service providers and app stores five days to block access to X, and said the platform will remain blocked until it complies with his orders. He also said people or companies who use virtual private networks (VPNs) to access X will be subject to daily fines of 50,000 reais ($8,900).
• Does Brazil even matter to Muck and his dead bird site? Hell yes it does. Some 40 million Brazilians, roughly one-fifth of the population, access X at least once per month.
• And Twitter has already been hemorrhaging money with its loss of advertisers who don’t want to have their content next to Nazi propaganda and far-right memes that took over the app in recent years. Losing Brazil is another financial hit he doesn’t need right now.
• So until he fixes this shit, Brazil is out. Hey, you know… fuck around and find out. Elon found out.
• Moving on.
• There are huge battles being fought in courtrooms across the nation, all with the intent of ensuring your voting rights are not taken away by Republicans.
• Example: yesterday, a state court in Pennsylvania halted enforcement of a requirement that voters include accurate, handwritten dates on envelopes used to submit mail-in ballots.
• This would have had several thousand Pennsylvania votes being thrown out in the November election.
• Their Commonwealth Court ruled 4-1 that disqualifying voters who failed to include the date violates the state constitution’s clause that addresses “free and equal” elections.
• And now, The Weather: “Desire” by Fontaines D.C.
• Let’s do a chart. It’s the start of the school year in Fall 1972, and Kamala Harris’s father accepted a position at Stanford University; Kamala and her sister Maya spent weekends at their father's house in Palo Alto, and lived at their mother's house in Berkeley during the week.
• Here’s what records might have been playing around the East Bay area of California 52 years ago this week, from the top of the Billboard 200 albums chart for early September 1972.
• 1. Chicago V (Chicago). 2. Never A Dull Moment (Rod Stewart). 3. Big Bambu (Cheech & Chong). 4. Honky Chateau (Elton John). 5. Moods (Neil Diamond). 6. Carney (Leon Russell). 7. Trilogy (Emerson, Lake & Palmer). 8. Carlos Santana & Buddy Miles! Live! (Carlos Santana & Buddy Miles). 9. Seven Separate Fools (Three Dog Night). 10. Simon And Garfunkel's Greatest Hits (Simon & Garfunkel). 11. Elvis As Recorded At Madison Square Garden (Elvis Presley). 12. Gilbert O'sullivan-Himself (Gilbert O’Sullivan). 13. Too Young (Donny Osmond). 14. Son Of Schmilsson (Nilsson). 15. A Song For You (Carpenters). 16. School's Out (Alice Cooper). 17. Saint Dominic's Preview (Van Morrison). 18. Exile On Main St. (The Rolling Stones). 19. Still Bill (Bill Withers). 20. The London Chuck Berry Sessions (Chuck Berry).
• From the Sports Desk… I hate bad news to be the topic of this fun section of my news, but I’d be remiss not to mention the tragic death of NHL player Johnny Gaudreau who, along with his brother Matthew, were killed Thursday night in New Jersey when they were struck by a drunk driver while riding bicycles not far from their family home.
• The Gaudreau family had gathered in Salem County to attend the wedding of the men's sister, Katie, which had been scheduled for Friday.
• Gaudreau, one of the sport’s top players who spent his first eight years in the NHL with Calgary, was just 31. He signed with Columbus in 2022. Just fucking awful.
• In less sad Sports Desk news, the NFL season starts this Thursday. I’ve already made my picks for Week 1, which will likely be shockingly wrong.
• Today in history… Byzantine Empress Theodora dies childless, thus ending the Macedonian dynasty (1056). King Henry V of England dies of dysentery and Henry VI becomes King of England at the age of nine months (1422). Union forces led by General William T. Sherman launch an assault on Atlanta (1864). Mary Ann Nichols becomes the first of Jack the Ripper’s victims (1888). Ferdinand von Zeppelin patents his navigable balloon (1895). The USA passes a Neutrality Act to try and stay out of the tensions concerning Germany and Japan (1935). Malaysia gains its independence from the United Kingdom (1957). Princess Diana dies in a car crash in Paris (1997).
• August 31 is the birthday of Roman emperor Caligula (12), Roman emperor Commodus (161), Chinese emperor Zhang Zong (1168), educator Maria Montessori (1870), radio/TV host Arthur Godfrey (1903), actor/educator Sanford Meisner (1905), novelist William Saroyan (1908), journalist Daniel Schorr (1916), composer Alan Jay Lerner (1918), actor Buddy Hackett (1924), actor James Coburn (1928), saxophonist/bass player Wilton Felder (1940), illustrator Roger Dean (1944), singer-songwriter Van Morrison (1945), violinist Itzhak Perlman (1945), singer-songwriter/guitarist Bob Welch (1945), actor Richard Gere (1949), track and field athlete Edwin Moses (1955), drummer Gina Schock (1957), voice actor Dee Bradley Baker (1962), singer-songwriter Debbie Gibson (1970), comedian Chris Tucker (1971), golfer Pádraig Harrington (1971), NFL player Larry Fitzgerald (1983), and NFL player Sauce Gardner (2000).

That’s plenty of news for a Saturday morning. Now off to eat, shower, dress, and then become a part of the American economy by making a major purchase. Side note: you can look at two seemingly identical mattresses and one cats $849 and the other costs $3,799… which is why I’m actually going to the goddamn store to see why that is for myself. Enjoy your day.