Random News: April 13, 2024

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning, or afternoon to be more precise. It’s April 13, 2024, and it’s a Saturday. The robe wasn’t cutting it on this overcast day, so I’m showered and dressed and ready to do whatever I do. Note that when I say “dressed,” it’s in my typical style that is more akin to that of a middle schooler than a middle-aged grown-ass man, but I’m not here to impress anyone.

• Let’s look at some news.
• While Donnie Dump’s first criminal trial begins in Monday, we have some news from another of his criminal actions.
• US District Judge Aileen Cannon, who is running the classified documents trial against El Dumpo and his co-defendants, appeared dubious yesterday of his efforts to get the charges against them thrown out and to get more information from prosecutors about the charges.
• Yesterday’s hearing was the first major test of the obstruction case that special counsel Jack Smith has brought against Dump’s valet Walt Nauta and Mar-a-Lago property manager Carlos De Oliveira.
• For over two hours, Cannon grilled attorneys for Nauta and De Oliveira about their arguments that the charges against their clients lacked adequate clarity. Dump’s employees are accused of conspiring to help Dumples hide documents at his golf motel in Florida, and lying to the FBI in interviews about their alleged involvement in moving the documents. They have pleaded not guilty.
• Moving on.
• The House managed to do actually do their jobs yesterday when they passed a bill to reauthorize Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (FISA), a crucial national security surveillance program, despite a conservative revolt two days earlier. 
• The bill revises a portion of FISA for a shortened period of two years, instead of the full five-year reauthorization first proposed. The change was made to sway whiny GOP baby critics. 
• Despite that, the vote on final passage was 273 in favor to 147 opposed. It wasn’t as split on party lines as you might imagine.
• 147 Republicans and 126 Democrats voted in favor of the reauthorization, but 59 Republicans and 88 Democrats voting against it.
• My feelings? Well… sometimes you have to be a grown-up and acknowledge that a country’s national security is crucial, even when you are very much opposed to things like warrantless spying on people under its Section 702.
• And let’s be clear here: the only reason the far-right are opposed is that the investigation into Dump’s relationship with Russia used FISA as the basis to gather information.
• Moving back to Monday’s criminal trial.
• No, I’m not going to again explain the charges of falsifying business records. All I want to mention is what happens at the start.
• The first part of the process, as it would be for any criminal, is jury selection, which will last one to two weeks.
• Prosecutors and Dumpy’s lawyers will be choosing among hundreds of people who were randomly summoned, whittling them down to 12 jurors and six alternates.
• For those interested in law, this process is called “voir dire,” a term meaning "to speak the truth”. It encompasses all procedures during a trial that help determine if prospective jurors can be fair and impartial, if witnesses are competent to testify, and to decide the admissibility of evidence.
• The reality is that the prosecution and defense lawyers are simply looking for the jurors who will most likely benefit their respective sides, without choosing those who are openly biased and could derail the standing of the trial.
• Each prospective juror in Dump’s trial will answer 42 questions designed to discern whether they can be impartial about Big Smelly. As is almost always the case, the jurors will be anonymous, meaning their identities will be withheld from the public because of security concerns.
• As you’d imagine, the jurors would immediately become the objects of threats and/or violence via the MAGA community if their names become public.
• So that’s what starts Monday. It’s really the most important part of the trial, even though it’s not as sexy as having Stormy Daniels testify, which will happen a few weeks later.
• Let’s move on.
• Here’s some crazy shit.
• One person was killed and more than a dozen injured after a man intentionally crashed a stolen semi-truck into a Texas Department of Public Safety office in Brenham, TX yesterday.
• On Thursday, Clenard Parker, 42, went to the office but got informed that he was not eligible to renew his commercial driver's license.
• So yesterday morning, he stole a huge-ass truck and drive it straight into them.
• Yikes! That seems like a bit of an overreaction to me. Parker is being held without bail on two initial charges — suspicion of evading arrest causing serious bodily injury, and unauthorized use of a vehicle.
• In other news…
• Let’s send our collective admiration to Kansas Gov. Laura Kelly (D), who vetoed a ban yesterday on gender-affirming medical care for transgender youth in the state.
• She stated, "This divisive legislation targets a small group of Kansans by placing government mandates on them and dictating to parents how to best raise and care for their children. I do not believe that is a conservative value, and it's certainly not a Kansas value."
• Kansas is lucky to have her at the helm.
• Moving over to sending collective scorn to Colorado State Representative Don Wilson (R-Monument), who left a loaded 9mm Glock handgun in a bathroom of the Colorado State Capitol on Tuesday.
• But wait… they were literally just considering a state bill to prohibit firearms in sensitive spaces — including the Rotunda.
• Wilson said, “I want to be clear that I take full and complete accountability for the incident. I made a mistake and am very sorry. I take firearm safety very seriously. This is a humbling experience, and I will reaffirm my commitment to responsible handling procedures.”
• So you have a guy who is voting to derail laws on gun regulation and safety, who goes to take a shit, and leaves his fucking loaded weapon on the bathroom counter at work? I should note, it was found by the janitorial staff.
• Where does he place his loaded gun while at home? Does he have any small kids/grandkids? Every week, it seems we hear of another horrible situation of a little kid finding a loaded gun.
• The Glock was returned to Wilson after law enforcement determined that no state statutes were violated and no criminal charges were pending as a result of the incident. 
• Moving on.
• In our ongoing reporting of the assholes who attempted and failed to enact a coup against the United States on January 6, 2021, meet Richard Ackerman of Salem, MA.
• This young neo-Nazi group member and MAGA/Dump supporter pleaded guilty Thursday to a felony charge of civil disorder and a misdemeanor charge of theft of government property for his actions during the insurrection.
• Among other things, Ackerman stole and kept a police helmet as a "war trophy" during the attack. MAGA scum hate cops. Don’t ever think otherwise. His sentencing is scheduled for July 25 in Washington, D.C.
• More than 1,300 people have now been charged with crimes in connection with the Capitol attack. Arrests, trials, and sentencing will continue until every one of them is met with justice, no matter how long it takes.
• Also in the asshole file, one we haven’t mentioned recently due to his irrelevance: Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis.
• Thursday night, he signed a law that prevents cities or counties from creating protections for workers who labor in the state's often extreme and dangerous heat.
• More than two million Floridians work outdoors in positions ranging from construction to agriculture to many other key professions, often in brutally humid blazing heat.
• For years, those workers have asked for rules to protect them, like paid rest breaks, water on the job, and access to shade when temperatures soar.
• But DeSantis happily signed a law to block those protections from being implemented in cities and counties across the state.
• Last year was the hottest summer in Florida's history, along with the rest of the USA. This summer will be even hotter. Working people in Florida will die as a direct result of this.
• You’re doing a great job, Ronnie.
• Relevant side note: in 2006, California became the first state to establish regulations protecting workers from heat. We require employers to provide shade, rest breaks, and access to cool, clean water for outdoor workers.
• And after the rules were implemented here, heat-related workers compensation claims dropped considerably. See how that is good for everyone?
• After several farm workers died in the deadly June heat wave in the Pacific Northwest in 2021, Washington and Oregon also created worker protections from heat.
• And now, The Weather: “Something in the Room She Moves” by Julia Holter
• Let’s do a chart. it’s April 1969, and I’m going to be born in less than two months. This is the top of the Billboard 200 albums chart.
• 1. Hair (Original Cast Recording). 2. Blood, Sweat & Tears (Blood, Sweat & Tears). 3. Galveston (Glen Campbell). 4. Donovan's Greatest Hits (Donovan). 5. Cloud Nine (The Temptations). 6. Help Yourself (Tom Jones). 7. Wichita Lineman (Glen Campbell). 8. In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida (Iron Butterfly). 9. Bayou Country (Creedence Clearwater Revival). 10. Switched-On Bach (Wendy Carlos) 11. Greatest Hits (The Association). 12. At Your Birthday Party (Steppenwolf). 13. Led Zeppelin (Led Zeppelin). 14. Goodbye (Cream). 15. Ball (Iron Butterfly). 16. Engelbert (Engelbert Humperdinck). 17. Freedom Suite (The Rascals). 18. The Beatles [White Album] (The Beatles). 19. The Tom Jones Fever Zone (Tom Jones). 20. Soulful (Dionne Warwick).
• From the Sports Desk… with the playoffs starting soon, here are the ten best teams in the NBA and their current respective records.
• 1. Celtics (63-18). 2. Thunder (56-25). 3. Timberwolves (56-25). 4. Nuggets (56-25). 5. Clippers (51-30). 6. Mavericks (50-31). 7. Bucks (49-32). 8. Knicks (49-32). 9. Pelicans (49-32). 10. Cavaliers (48-33).
• Today in history… Constantinople falls to the Crusaders of the Fourth Crusade, temporarily ending the Byzantine Empire (1204). Samuel Argall, having captured Pocahontas in Passapatanzy, VA, sets off with her to Jamestown with the intention of exchanging her for English prisoners held by her father (1613). George Frideric Handel's oratorio Messiah makes its world premiere in Dublin, Ireland (1742). Raleigh, NC is occupied by Union forces in the American Civil War (1865). The New York City Metropolitan Museum of Art is founded (1870). Up to 150 black men are murdered in Colfax, LA while surrendering to a mob of former Confederate soldiers and members of the Ku Klux Klan (1873). German WWII troops kill more than 1,000 political and military prisoners in Gardelegen, Germany (1945). CIA director Allen Dulles launches the mind-control program Project MKUltra (1953). The United States launches Transit 1-B, the world's first satellite navigation system (1960). Sidney Poitier becomes the first African-American man to win the Best Actor award for the film ‘Lilies of the Field’ (1964). An oxygen tank aboard the Apollo 13 Service Module explodes while en route to the Moon (1970). Two women and four children are killed after Israeli helicopter fired rockets at an ambulance in Mansouri, Lebanon (1996). Tiger Woods becomes the youngest golfer to win the Masters Tournament (1997). The house of Jack Teixeira was raided in an investigation into leaked Pentagon documents, where he was later arrested on the same day (2023).
• April 13 is the birthday of soldier/terrorist Guy Fawkes (1570), US president Thomas Jefferson (1743), surgeon/radiologist Robert Abbe (1851), businessman Frank Winfield Woolworth (1852), criminal Butch Cassidy (1866), novelist/poet Samuel Beckett (1906), actor Don Adams (1923), poet/playwright Seamus Heaney (1939), actor Paul Sorvino (1939), composer/conductor Bill Conti (1942), singer-songwriter/pastor Al Green (1946), actor Ron Perlman (1950), singer Peabo Bryson (1951), drummer/bandleader Max Weinberg (1951), chess player Garry Kasparov (1963), actor Ricky Schroder (1970), NBA player Baron Davis (1979), and singer-songwriter/musician Ty Dolla Sign (1982).

Okay then. Time to do stuff and things. Enjoy your day.

Random News: April 12, 2024

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s April 12, 2024, and if you can believe it, it’s a Friday once again! I am definitely grateful for this week to be wrapping up… lots of work stress and various random annoyances have been prevalent. But here we are, and if you’re reading this, you lived to see Friday, so let’s enjoy being alive and find out the important news of the day.

• I think that most of you are aware about my opinions on gun rights.
• Or maybe not.
• I support Americans’ right to bear arms. Were you not expecting that?
• But I also feel that common sense regulation of guns is in the country’s best interest, in the same way that I support the fact that the government requires people to have driver’s education, testing and licensing, and must carry insurance to drive a car.
• And that people who flaunt laws by driving recklessly or while intoxicated absolutely should be penalized.
• Why can’t it be that easy for people to take the same tact in regard to guns? Never mind, I know why.
• So I was very happy when yesterday, the most significant increase in American gun regulation in decades went through.
• The Justice Department has finalized rules to close a loophole that allowed people to sell firearms online, at gun shows, and at other informal venues without conducting background checks on those who purchase them.
• This is a huge step in the positive direction. The rules codify changes outlined in the Bipartisan Safer Communities Act, which was signed into law by President Biden in June 2022 and expanded which gun sellers were legally required to conduct background checks on buyers.
• Will it solve everything? No, of course not. But as VP Harris said, “Every person in our nation has a right to live free from the horror of gun violence. I do believe that. We know how to prevent these tragedies, and it is a false choice to say you are either in favor of the Second Amendment or you want to take everyone’s guns away.”
• Thank you. She’s a very smart woman, if you were unaware. I think she’ll make a fine President if that’s what she wants to do after BIden’s next term.
• Let’s move on.
• Yesterday, the U.S. State Department warned Americans in Israel that a worst-case scenario could materialize within just hours via the possibility of a direct attack on Israeli soil by Iran in retaliation for a strike almost two weeks ago that killed seven Iranian military officers.
• U.S. officials said that a major Iranian attack against Israel was expected as soon as today, possibly to include more than 100 drones and dozens of missiles aimed at military targets inside the country. 
• It is unlikely that Israel will be able to defend against an attack of such a magnitude. And, of course, the U.S. would be expected to step in to help our ally.
• This is… not good at all.
• Let’s cheer up with some comedy news.
• Donnie Dump and House Speaker Mike Johnson (R-LA) are pushing a bill to ban non-citizens from voting.
• Cough.
• Non-citizens can’t vote. It’s not and never has been legal for non-citizens to vote. In a study of the 2016 election by the Brennan Center, researchers found that just 0.0001 per cent of voters across 42 jurisdictions, encompassing 23.5 million votes, were suspected to be non-citizens who managed to vote. It’s estimated to be 30 incidents in total.
• 30. Out of 23.5 million.
• So yes, by all means, focus on something that doesn’t exist, Republicans. Honestly, I tried having sympathy for you people before, but now I’m back to scorn, derision, and pure schadenfreude.
• Moving on.
• Senate Republicans are furious at Donnie Dump.
• Why? Because Dump derailed a compromise House bill to extend the authority of the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (FISA) to keep the nation’s intelligence agencies from losing their ability to spy on adversaries and terrorists.
• Republican senators are warning that the nation’s spy program is about to go dark and that much of the intelligence that goes into President Biden’s daily briefing could be lost, putting the nation at risk for surprise attacks.
• I’ll try and make the background quick. FISA is a law that’s been in place since 1978. It basically allows US intelligence agencies to spy on foreigners and is considered essential for national security.
• Democrats overwhelmingly support FISA reauthorization. But this week, far-right conservatives immediately held up the vote. Nineteen House Republicans shot down a procedural step, which effectively froze the House and left the legislation in a state of limbo.
• Who’s holding it up? The MAGA nuts, at the direction of Dump, are super bigly mad at Republican Speaker Mike Johnson and don’t want to support something that he supports. So it’s petty infighting.
• Democrats could come to Johnson’s aid, but certainly won’t assist Johnson bring a stand-alone FISA bill to the floor.
• As of yesterday, some of the conservative holdouts seemed be warming to modifications proposed to FISA, such as changing the duration of the law from five years to two. By the way, why would they want to do that?
• Because that’s what Dump wants them to do. That’s it; no other reason given. And why does Dump want America’s enemies to be more easily able to attack us? It’s a really good question.
• So, obviously an ongoing story that we’ll follow up on later.
• In other Congress news, Mike Johnson is negotiating with the White House to advance wartime funding for Ukraine and Israel through the House.
• Johnson has delayed for months on advancing aid that would provide desperately needed ammunition and weaponry for Kyiv, trying to find the right time to advance a package that will leave him hated by both sides of the aisle.
• Maybe those Republicans who are supporting Kremlin talking points should just admit that they’re getting direction straight from Vladimir Putin, which is almost certainly the case.
• Moving on.
• Sorry to tell you, but you can no longer marry your first cousin in Tennessee. I mean, you can fuck them, but don’t marry them.
• The Republican-led Tennessee Legislature has overwhelmingly voted to send GOP Gov. Bill Lee a proposal that would ban the practice of marriage between the family members.
• The TN House cast a 75-2 vote yesterday on the bill after the state’s Senate previously approved it without any opposition.
• One of the two guys who voted against it, Rep. Gino Bulso, related that his own grandparents had been first cousins. Bulso is also sponsoring that would ban displaying pride flags in public school classrooms.
• So, per his philosophy, go ahead and fuck family members, but not in a gay way.
• Alright, let’s talk about the other thing.
• Orenthal James Simpson is no longer among the living. He died of cancer yesterday at age 76, with the news of his death breaking moments after I’d posted my bullets.
• O. J. played football for USC, where he won the Heisman Trophy, and was the first pick in the 1969 NFL/AFL draft. He played in the NFL for 11 seasons, primarily with the Buffalo Bills, and is regarded as one of the greatest running backs of all time.
• Simpson gained 11,236 rushing yards, placing him 2nd on the NFL's all-time rushing list when he retired.
• After his football career, O. J. was an actor and sports broadcaster. In the ‘80s, he was a very popular figure in American culture.
• And then in 1994, he murdered his ex-wife Nicole Brown and her friend Ron Goldman. He was tried and acquitted, but in years since has all but admitted his guilt on multiple occasions.
• O. J. did end up getting hit with a massive civil suit which bankrupted him, and ended up serving about nine years in prison… not for the murders, but for kidnapping and armed robbery.
• I’m sure someone will miss The Juice, but I’m not one of them.
• Side note… on Friday June 17, 1994, I was 25 years old and living in a shithole apartment in Torrance on Artesia Boulevard just east of the 405.
• When my then-wife and I realized that the now-infamous low-speed chase was going to be passing by, we ran to the other side of the complex and saw with our own eyes the white Ford Bronco being trailed by dozens and dozens of cops.
• Crazy.
• And as long as we’re doing sports stories that have nothing to do with sports, we can finally bring up the bizarre case of Shohei Ohtani and his former interpreter and supposed best friend.
• Per an affidavit filed by federal authorities yesterday, Ippei Mizuhara stole more than $16 million over two years from the Los Angeles Dodgers superstar to pay off gambling debts to an illegal sportsbook.
• Why haven’t I mentioned this earlier? Because there were too many questions up in the air, including some rather unfounded accusations of Ohtani himself as being the one gambling.
• Mizuhara is being charged with bank fraud, which can carry a maximum fine of up to $1 million and/or up to 30 years in prison.
• And the feds made it clear: Ohtani is considered a victim in this case. There was no evidence Ohtani had any knowledge of Mizuhara's gambling activities or use of his bank account to pay his debts.
• And now, The Weather: “Rollin' In” by Sam Evian
• From the Sports Desk… it would seem that all the weirdness between the PGA and LIV Golf have left people with a bad taste in their mouths. TV ratings for golf tournaments have never been lower.
• That being said The Masters is on. As usual, everyone is watching Tiger Woods, who was tied for 36th place at 1-over-par 73 after 18 holes, 8 strokes behind leader Bryson DeChambeau.
• The world’s top golfer, Scottie Scheffler, was one shot behind DeChambeau after tallying a 6-under 66 on Thursday. Denmark's Nicolai Højgaard and Max Homa were two strokes back after posting 5-under 67.
• Today in history… The Union Flag is adopted as the flag of English and Scottish ships (1606). The Civil War begins with Confederate forces firing on Fort Sumter, in the harbor of Charleston, SC (1861). Confederate forces kill most of the African American soldiers that surrendered at Fort Pillow, TN (1864). President William McKinley signs the Foraker Act into law, giving Puerto Rico limited self-rule (1900). Sir Frank Whittle ground-tests the first jet engine designed to power an aircraft, at Rugby, England (1937). U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt dies in office; Vice President Harry S. Truman becomes President upon Roosevelt's death (1945). The polio vaccine, developed by Dr. Jonas Salk, is declared safe and effective (1955). The first launch of a Space Shuttle takes place (1981). Harold Washington is elected as the first black mayor of Chicago (1983). United States President Bill Clinton is cited for contempt of court for giving "intentionally false statements" in a civil lawsuit (1999). 
• April 12 is the birthday of politician Henry Clay (1777), playwright Alexander Ostrovsky (1823), photographer Imogen Cunningham (1883), actress Dorothy Cumming (1894), singer-songwriter Hound Dog Taylor (1912), singer/ukulele player Tiny Tim (1932), pianist/composer Herbie Hancock (1940), actor Ed O’Neill (1946), author Tom Clancy (1947), comedian/TV host David Letterman (1947), singer-songwriter/guitarist Pat Travers (1954), actor Andy Garcia (1956), singer-songwriter/guitarist Vince Gill (1957), singer-songwriter Amy Ray (1965), actress Shannen Doherty (1971), actress Claire Danes (1979), and politician Tulsi Gabbard (1981).

That seems like enough news for now. Enjoy your day.

Random News: April 11, 2024

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s April 11, 2024, and it’s a Thursday for some reason. My name is Zak (not really), and I’m here to tell you information that may or may not be valuable to you. Hopefully we all learn some things together.

• Let’s talk about sex, baby.
• What you may mistake as a Republican war on women’s reproductive rights actually has a much more sinister background.
• The bigger picture is not to protect the lives of little babies. If they cared that much about babies, they would be supportive of maternal/paternal leave, child care and development programs, and the like… and they’re adamantly against them.
• No, the real opposition to women’s rights to abortion is about people’s right to have sex with the people they choose to have sex with. That’s it. That’s the driving force. The big enchilada.
• The Republican war against sex education, against access to birth control, against the healthcare provider Planned Parenthood, and of course against abortion have long been out in the open along with a war against the rights of women’s sexual choices and on the rights and very existence of queer and trans people.
• When the Supreme Court was hearing arguments last month about access to the abortion pill mifepristone, Samuel Alito and Clarence Thomas cited the Comstock Act.
• Who was Anthony Comstock? He was a 19th-century anti-vice campaigner who was driven by religious shame over masturbation to become an extreme anti-sex crusader.
• In the early 1870s, Comstock convinced Congress to make it a crime to advertise, sell, or mail contraceptives or give out contraceptive information, even orally, or to mail anything “immoral”.
• Comstock led efforts to ban and burn books (sound familiar?), and often boasted that he had driven 15 people to suicide. Nice guy, huh?
• We already are seeing the results of removing access to health care for women in states that ban abortion. Women who miscarry go critical from infection or loss of blood before being offered care.
• And that is on purpose. The anti-abortion movement’s end goal is to let doctors refuse treatment — including life-saving emergency care — for patients whom the movement deem to be sinful and morally impure.
• That’s why the far right is campaigning so hard to take away both birth control and abortion, making sex punitively risky for anyone who might get pregnant.
• They want women to die for their alleged sin of recreational sex. That is what they want. It’s not a bug; it’s a feature.
• Moving back to today’s reverent news on this topic…
• Yesterday, Arizona was filled with chaos and confusion across the state as abortion providers were flooded with phone calls from frantic patients after the state’s 160-year-old total abortion ban was declared valid.
• Meanwhile, Republican lawmakers at the State Capitol blocked efforts to undo the ban, prompting angry jeers from Democrats.
• Those AZ Dems tried to push bills through the Republican-controlled Legislature to repeal the ban, a move they said would protect women’s health and freedom, and also force Republicans to take a formal vote on the law.
• But Republican leaders quickly scuttled that effort by calling for a recess, and later adjourned until next Wednesday.
• As of today, it’s uncertain whether Arizona’s Republican leaders, who narrowly control both chambers of the Legislature, would allow any immediate action on proposals to repeal the ban.
• Simple solution, Arizonans: vote them all out. Every single one of them.
• Let’s move on.
• Every single day, Don the Con gets more and more desperate with the looming start of his first of four criminal trials coming this Monday, April 15.
• Yesterday, he once again attempted a longshot effort, asking a New York appeals court for emergency relief to stop the criminal hush money trial so he can appeal a lower court’s ruling on presidential immunity and have the judge recused from the case.
• Earlier this week, Dump begged the appeals court to delay the trial so he can challenge a gag order stopping him from making statements about witnesses, family members of the judge and prosecutors, and jurors.
• It was immediately denied.
• Dump then whined that the trial can’t take place in Manhattan because of pretrial publicity. That, also, was denied.
• Here comes justice, Donnie. And weather reports predict it’s gonna be a Stormy Monday in Manhattan.
• In other news…
• As per our recent reporting, the six former Mississippi law enforcement officers who’d pleaded guilty to federal charges in connection with torturing and abusing two Black men in a racist attack and were sentenced to federal prison terms of 10 to 40 years, were sentenced yesterday on state charges for the same heinous crimes.
• The members of the Mississippi “Goon Squad” — former Rankin County Sheriff’s deputies Brett Morris McAlpin, 53; Christian Dedmon, 29; Jeffrey Middleton, 46; Hunter Elward, 31; and Daniel Opdyke, 28 — and a former police officer from the city of Richland, Joshua Hartfield, 32 — had pleaded guilty to state charges in August.
• McAlpin, Middleton, and Opdyke were sentenced to serve 20 years; Dedmon to 25 years; Elward to 45 years; and Hartfield to 15 years in federal penitentiaries.
• The sentences will be served concurrently with their federal sentences, and all were ordered to pay $6,431 within two years of release, and permanently surrender their law enforcement certificates.
• In the attack, the former cops attacked two Black men for being at the house of a white woman. Their victims were beaten, assaulted with stun guns, raped with a sex toy, and one of them was shot in the mouth in a mock execution.
• Moving on to something important.
• For the first time ever, the Environmental Protection Agency announced yesterday it is issuing a national regulation limiting the amount of certain per- and polyfluoroalkyl substances, known as PFAS, found in drinking water.
• Known as "forever chemicals," PFAS are synthetic chemicals found nearly everywhere – in air, water, and soil – and can take thousands of years to break down in the environment.
• There is no safe level of exposure to PFAS without risk of health impacts. The EPS will now require that public water utilities test for six different types of PFAS chemicals to reduce exposure in drinking water.
• To comply with the new drinking water standards, the EPA is making $1 billion available to states and territories to implement PFAS testing and treatment at public water systems.
• You can thank Joe Biden for this; it’s part of a $9 billion investment made possible by the 2021 Bipartisan Infrastructure Law to assist communities impacted by PFAS contamination.
• Moving on.
• Here are a couple of names we thankfully haven’t had any need to mention in a good while: Jacob Wohl and Jack Burkman. 
• The two right-wing morons with a history of peddling conspiracy theories are now facing the consequences of orchestrating a more real conspiracy of their own.
• Wohl and Burkman agreed to pay up to $1.25 million to the office of New York Attorney General Letitia James after being charged with overseeing a 2020 election robocall campaign aimed at suppressing the Black voter turnout.
• The fake calls told around 5,500 Black voters in New York that casting ballots by mail would alert creditors and put the them on a public database used by police departments to track down people with outstanding warrants.
• The two idiots were already facing criminal charges in Michigan and Ohio for the robocall scheme when the New York attorney general filed charges in 2021. The Federal Communications Commission slapped them with a $5.1 million fine in June 2023.
• I don’t know if you remember this, but in November 2018, these were the guys who did a press conference to expose “explosive” evidence about special counsel Robert Mueller (hint… none of the evidence was remotely true), but Burkman’s pants zipper was wide open the whole time.
• Imbeciles. What an embarrassment they are to the Republican party. To humanity, actually.
• Speaking of Republicans…
• One of Donnie Dump’s county campaign chairs in New Hampshire lost his job as a police officer after threatening to kill his colleagues in a shooting spree, murder the department chief, and rape the chief’s wife in retaliation for his suspension over his relationship with a high school girl.
• Wait, this gets even better.
• Jonathan Stone, who is currently a second-term state representative, was announced as Dump’s Sullivan County chair by his campaign on June 27, 2023. But you already know this guy.
• He was the dude who, in 2016, gifted El Dumpo an inscribed AR-15 rifle at a campaign stop. yes, Stone opened a gun shop after losing his job as a police officer.
• Ladies and gentlemen, your Republican party! Proud to be associated with them, huh?
• In better news, happy National Pet Day.
• I like this made-up holiday because it’s all-inclusive. Dogs, cats, lizards, iguanas, whatever non-human creature that lives in your house and you think of as a friend is part of the happiness.
• I don’t have pets. I do have four extra rather small roommates who occasionally jump into my lap (usually while it’s super inconvenient), trip me while walking down stairs, and generally act like tigers who are embarrassed to be 18” tall.
• And now, The Weather: “Test Tube Baby” by Michael B Thomas
• From the Sports Desk… as we did yesterday with the NBA, the NHL is nearing playoff time, so let’s see who’s in contention. The following teams have secured a spot as of now.
• Atlantic Division: Boston Bruins, Florida Panthers, Toronto Maple Leafs, Tampa Bay Lightning. 
• Metropolitan Division: New York Rangers, Carolina Hurricanes.
• Central Division: Dallas Stars, Colorado Avalanche, Winnipeg Jets, Nashville Predators.
• Pacific Division: Vancouver Canucks, Edmonton Oilers.
• NHL playoff matchups and seeding will be final in about a week.
• Today in history… Premiere of Johann Sebastian Bach's St Matthew Passion BWV 244b at St. Thomas Church in Leipzig, Electorate of Saxony (1727). Former shōgun Tokugawa Yoshinobu surrenders Edo Castle to Imperial forces, marking the end of the Tokugawa shogunate (1868). The city of Tel Aviv is founded (1909). President Truman relieves Douglas MacArthur of the command of American forces in Korea and Japan (1951). The Stone of Scone, the stone upon which Scottish monarchs were traditionally crowned, is found on the site of the altar of Arbroath Abbey (1951). United Kingdom agrees to Singaporean self-rule (1957). President Lyndon B. Johnson signs the Civil Rights Act of 1968, prohibiting discrimination in the sale, rental, and financing of housing (1968). Apollo 13 is launched (1970). The Apple I computer is created (1976). Over two hundred thousand people march in Caracas towards the presidential palace to demand the resignation of President Hugo Chávez (2002). Twenty year old Daunte Wright is shot and killed in Brooklyn Center, Minnesota by officer Kimberly Potter, sparking protests in the city, when the officer allegedly mistakes her own gun for her taser (2021).
• April 11 is the birthday of surgeon James Parkinson (1755), UK prime minister George Canning (1770), lawyer/judge Jane Bolin (1908), occultist Anton LaVey (1930), actor/dancer Joel Grey (1932), actress Louise Lasser (1939), director/screenwriter John Milius (1944), singer-songwriter Stuart Adamson (1958), TV host Jeremy Clarkson (1960), MLB player Bret Saberhagen (1964), singer-songwriter Lisa Stansfield (1966), MLB player Mark Teixeira (1980), and singer-songwriter Joss Stone (1987).

Alrighty then. Oh, forgot to mention… I had the hopefully final — at least for a good-ass long time — session with my dentist yesterday afternoon. My last permanent crown was put on, and it was quick and pretty easy, especially compared to all of my other three+ hour procedures. Glad that’s done. Enjoy your day.

Random News: April 10, 2024

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s April 10, 2024, and it’s a Wednesday. Seems like a nice day thus far, though I’ve only been up for an hour so it’s hard to make a judgement call just yet. Plenty of stuff happening in the world, so we should talk about that.

• Let’s jump right in to the worst possible news.
• In a historic decision yesterday, the Arizona Supreme Court ruled the state must adhere to a 160-year-old law barring all abortions except in cases when it is necessary to save a pregnant person’s life — a significant ruling that will make a Civil War-era abortion law enforceable in the state.
• The law can be traced back to 1864 — before Arizona became a state. Abraham Lincoln was president at the time; slavery was still legal in the USA.
• The law carries a prison sentence of two to five years for abortion providers, and it puts Arizona among the states with the strictest abortion laws in the country, alongside Texas, Alabama and Mississippi, where bans exist with almost no exceptions.
• So once again, much like the current situation in Florida, the only thing that will save the reproductive right of the people of Arizona will be a state constitutional amendment to guarantee these rights.
• And, of course, the power of your vote against every politician who enabled these draconian laws to be enacted… namely, the Republicans.
• Donnie Dump takes 100% of the credit for having stacked the Supreme Court, leading to the overturning of Roe v. Wade, and allowed states to force women to give birth.
• And now, in Arizona, they will be forced by the state to gestate and deliver the babies of rapists and those created via incest. Neither exception is allowed in Arizona.
• I should add that Arizona Attorney General Kris Mayes vowed, “No woman or doctor will be prosecuted under this draconian law in this state.”
• But if it’s a law, there will be lawsuits that will force the AG to prosecute. That’s why women need these rights enshrined constitutionally.
• The AZ Court was clear about it. “Physicians are now on notice that all abortions, except those necessary to save a woman’s life, are illegal,” the court majority said in the decision.
• Just to be very clear… abortion rights are popular in Arizona: nearly one-third of Arizona voters in the 2022 midterm elections said abortion was the issue that mattered most in helping them decide who to vote for, according to exit polling.
• By a two to one margin, voters in the state said abortion should be legal, and 40% said they felt “angry” about the supreme court decision ending the federal right to an abortion.
• How do Arizona politicians feel about this ruling?
• They’re scared shitless and are suddenly opposing it. In 2022, Kari Lake was running for the governor’s office (which she lost to Katie Hobbs). At the time, she was asked about the 1864 law in question and said the near-total ban is a "great law" and sets an example for other states.
• Yesterday? Lake said, “I oppose today's ruling, and I am calling on Katie Hobbs and the state Legislature to come up with an immediate commonsense solution that Arizonans can support."
• Sorry, no. You made that bed. Sleep in it.
• Vice President Kamala Harris will go to Tucson later this week. She correctly blamed the impending state ban on Dump, whose three supreme court appointees voted to eliminate the federally guaranteed right to an abortion.
• Since the point in June 2022 when Dump’s Supreme Court reversed Roe v. Wade, nearly two dozen states have banned or limited access to the procedure. Providers have warned that restrictive policies on abortion access place patients at risk of poor health outcomes and doctors at risk of legal liability.
• Vote this fall as if this is your last chance being allowed to do so… because unless some shit changes quickly, it will be.
• Moving on.
• Desperate Don is trying everything that’s ever been tried to get out of his criminal trial that starts Monday.
• Yesterday, a New York appeals court judge denied El Dumpo's motion to pause his upcoming criminal trial while considering arguments against a gag order.
• Get fucked, loser.
• And yes, this isn’t deja vu; it’s the second time in two days that an appeals court judge shot down Dumples in his efforts to delay the April 15 start of his hush money trial.
• And speaking of that piece of shit, his pal is in more trouble.
• Allen Weisselberg, the former CFO of the Dump Org, was sentenced this morning to five months in jail for lying under oath during his testimony in the civil fraud lawsuit brought against Dumpy by New York’s attorney general.
• Weisselberg, 76, pleaded guilty last month to two counts of perjury in connection with the suit. He admitted lying when he testified he had little knowledge of how Dump’s Manhattan penthouse came to be valued on his financial statements at nearly three times its actual size.
• Fucking liars who lie.
• Weisselberg was escorted out of the courtroom in handcuffs following the brief sentencing, which lasted less than five minutes. And yes, he also served 100 days last year for dodging taxes on $1.7 million in company perks, including a rent-free Manhattan apartment and luxury cars.
• Let’s do some news that matters.
• How long do you think it will be before a teacher in Tennessee either shoots a child on purpose, or has their gun stolen by a student and used to shoot someone else?
• Why do I ask? Because yesterday, Tennessee Senate Republicans passed legislation that allows public K-12 teachers and school staff to carry concealed handguns on school grounds.
• The measure passed in a 26-5 vote that fell along party lines.
• Tennessee Sen. Paul Bailey (R-Sparta), who sponsored the bill, proudly confirmed that teachers would not need to disclose that they are carrying guns. 
• When a child dies, or a situation is exacerbated by untrained teachers acting as law enforcement, the blood will be in their hands… not that they give a fuck.
• Moving on.
• Yesterday, U.S. District Court Judge Aileen M. Cannon agreed to end a long-running dispute with prosecutors over whether government-agent witnesses in Dump’s classified documents criminal trial should be publicly identified in court filings.
• This is a big win for special counsel Jack Smith, who’d spent months trying to convince Cannon to keep under seal the names of FBI agents, Secret Service agents, and other potential witnesses in the case.
• Not that Dump will respect the order. He’d gladly put law enforcement lives in danger by outing them, and I’d bet any amount of money that he’ll do just that as the trial get underway.
• Donald Trump hates cops. Want proof? Look at how he wants to pardon the January 6 insurrectionists who battered and killed cops at the Capitol in 2021.
• Moving on.
• If you’re a parent of young kids (or have been in the past 25 years or so), you know that Lunchables have been a popular choice for snacks. They’re also distributed by schools under the National School Lunch Program.
• But Consumer Reports warned yesterday that Lunchables contains relatively high levels of lead and sodium. They tested 12 store-bought versions of Lunchables — which are made by Kraft Heinz — along with similar lunch and snack kits and found “relatively high levels of lead and cadmium” in the Lunchables kits.
• Cadmium is a chemical element linked to negative effects on the kidney and the skeletal and respiratory systems and is classified as a human carcinogen.
• And there is no safe level of lead for children.
• All but one of the kits contained harmful phthalates — chemicals found in plastic that can be linked to reproductive issues, diabetes and some cancers.
• I know they’re convenient; my son liked them when he was in elementary school. But maybe rethink what you’re feeding them. It’s rather important.
• And now, The Weather: “Empty and Silent” by Mount Kimbie & King Krule
• Let’s do a chart. It’s 30 years ago in early April 1994, and here’s the top of the Billboard Hot 100 singles. I am 24 years old and working as a marketing assistant.
• What did a marketing assistant do in the pre-Internet era? A whole lot of shit. I stuffed glossy 8x10s into press kits. I put together lists of record labels. I proofed various propaganda and often caught mistakes that the more experienced people glossed over.
• The music? Yeah, most of it is utter shit (which is often true of the pop charts), with a few big exceptions. I see five — six if I’m being generous — really great songs here, if you care to guess what they are.
• 1. The Sign (Ace Of Base). 2. Bump N' Grind (R. Kelly). 3. Without You/Never Forget You (Mariah Carey). 4. The Power Of Love (Celine Dion). 5. Whatta Man (Salt-N-Pepa Featuring En Vogue). 6. So Much In Love (All-4-One). 7. Now And Forever (Richard Marx). 8. Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm (Crash Test Dummies). 9. Gin And Juice (Snoop Doggy Dogg). 10. Cantaloop (Flip Fantasia) (US3). 11. The Most Beautiful Girl In The World (Prince). 12. Because Of Love (Janet Jackson). 13. Breathe Again (Toni Braxton). 14. Streets Of Philadelphia (From "Philadelphia") (Bruce Springsteen). 15. Indian Outlaw (Tim McGraw). 16. Baby I Love Your Way (From "Reality Bites") (Big Mountain). 17. Mary Jane's Last Dance (Tom Petty And The Heartbreakers). 18. Rock And Roll Dreams Come Through (Meat Loaf). 19. Groove Thang (Zhane). 20. Stay (Eternal).
• From the Sports Desk… a number of teams have already qualified for the NBA playoffs.
• Eastern Conference: Boston Celtics (who have also clinched the best record in the league) and Milwaukee Bucks.
• Western Conference: Minnesota Timberwolves, Denver Nuggets, Oklahoma City Thunder, Los Angeles Clippers, and Dallas Mavericks.
• Only a few games remain in the regular season before the final playoff matchups, seeding, and schedule will be announced.
• Today in history… Halley's Comet makes its closest approach to Earth at a distance of 3.2 million miles (837). The Virginia Company of London is established by royal charter by James I of England with the purpose of establishing colonial settlements in North America (1606). Robert Walpole resigns from the British government, commencing the Whig Split which lasts until 1720 (1717). The Mount Tambora volcano begins a three-month-long eruption, ultimately killing 71,000 people and affecting Earth's climate for the next two years (1815). The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA) is founded in New York City by Henry Bergh (1866). RMS Titanic sets sail from Southampton, England on her maiden and only voyage (1912). The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald is first published in New York City (1925). Alcoholics Anonymous, A.A.'s "Big Book", is first published (1939). Paul McCartney announces that he is leaving The Beatles for personal and professional reasons (1970). Scientists from the Event Horizon Telescope project announce the first ever image of a black hole, which was located in the centre of the M87 galaxy (2019).
• April 10 is the birthday of naval officer Matthew C. Perry (1794), journalist Joseph Pulitzer (1847), actor Harry Morgan (1915), actress Liz Sheridan (1929), actor Max von Sydow (1929), NFL coach/sportscaster John Madden (1936), singer-songwriter/drummer Bunny Wailer (1947), MLB player Ken Griffey, Sr. (1950), actor/Russian citizen Steven Seagal (1952), singer-songwriter/producer Babyface (1959), singer-songwriter/guitarist Brian Setzer (1959), guitarist Warren DeMartini (1963), drummer Tim Alexander (1965), rapper Q-Tip (1970), actor David Harbour (1975), and actor Haley Joel Osment (1988).

That’s plenty of news for now. The only other notable thing to mention… I go back once again to the dentist today, but fear not; I just have one more permanent crown to have installed in my silly mouth, and that’s it. I should be in and out of there pretty quickly, unlike all of my previous escapades of the dental variety. Enjoy your day.

Random News: April 9, 2024

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s April 9, 2024, and it’s a Tuesday. I think I have an eclipse hangover, or got an overdose of vitamin D from being out of my hobbit hole and out in the elements yesterday. Either way, feeling a bit weird this morning, but I’m sure I’ll settle into the normalcy of a regular-ass Tuesday before long.

• I hope you were able to in some way, big or small, enjoy yesterday’s total solar eclipse. I sure did, even here near Los Angeles, over a thousand miles from the path of totality.
• I’ve seen a few people actually complaining about it, because… people.
• Some folks opined that “eclipses happen all the time, so why all this media hype?”
• Eclipses do happen somewhat often… just not near you. 
• In July 2019, there was one for the South Pacific and southern South America, and another for the same area in December 2020. Another total eclipse hit Antarctica in December 2021.
• If you’re in the Arctic, eastern Greenland, Iceland, and northern Spain, one will be happening in August 2026. Head over to the Central Atlantic, Mediterranean region, Egypt, or Red Sea area to experience a total eclipse in August 2027.
• Staying here in the USA? Then you’re gonna wait awhile.
• A total solar eclipse won't be visible again from the contiguous US until August 22, 2044, but totality will only occur over North Dakota and Montana, plus northern Canada. The next total solar eclipse with a coast-to-coast path spanning the lower 48 states will occur on August 12, 2045.
• Yeah, in more than 21 years. That’s hardly “all the time”. I’ll be 76 years old, assuming I’m alive.
• Okay, enough on that. Some actual news now.
• In the latest episode of “The Denials of Donnie,” the Smelly One’s last ditch effort to stay his April 15th criminal trial in New York City has been denied by a New York appellate court. 
• Yesterday morning, Diaper Don filed a desperate lawsuit against Judge Juan Merchan.
• The Hail Mary motion was for a change of venue, along with an appeal of Judge Merchan's gag order imposed last month. He’d also asked the New York appellate court to stay the April 15th trial date pending resolution of his change of venue motion.
• Mere hours later, the appellate court denied Dump's request in a short and sweet one-page order from the Honorable Lizbeth Gonzalez.
• “Defendant’s application for a stay of trial, pursuant to CPL §230.20, pending the determination of defendant’s motion for change of venue, is denied.”
• Ha ha.
• In preparation for the trial starting next Monday, Judge Merchan has sent out his proposed jury questionnaire to Dump's attorneys and the Manhattan District Attorney's Office.
• In the letter, he notified counsel that they would not be permitted to ask prospective jurors questions concerning their political affiliation or political donation history. 
• Ha ha ha ha!
• As a reminder, this trial is the least significant of the legal trouble El Dumpo is facing. On March 30, 2023, Donald John Trump was criminally indicted on 34 felony counts of falsifying business records revolving around the hush-money payment to porn actress Stormy Daniels.
• The payment of $130,000 was for Daniels to keep quiet about a sexual interaction Daniels had with Dump in 2006 at his resort in Lake Tahoe, NV.
• Dump had married his wife Melania the year before in 2005, and she had given birth to their son Barron four months before the encounter.
• That’s sleazy, but not a felony. However, questions about the money — whether it was listed as campaign funds, how it was categorized for tax purposes, and more — was enough to have a grand jury indict him for falsifying business records.
• Why isn’t it just a misdemeanor? Because the crime was committed to carry out or conceal a second offense. It’s the first-ever situation with a former U.S. president to be criminally charged, and it will be historically significant no matter what happens.
• Also in regard to that trial, yesterday, Judge Merchan released a list of 42 questions that prospective jurors can expect to be asked. Their focus helps determine whether the juror has strong support or distaste for Dump, affiliation with extremist groups or ideologies, and more.
• The questionnaire mentions affiliation with specific extremist groups including the right-wing Proud Boys, Oath Keepers, Three Percenters, and Boogaloo Boys, conspiracy theory and political movement QAnon, plus the anti-fascist movement Antifa.
• However, the questions steer clear of asking potential jurors whether they’ve voted, donated, or align with Democrats or Republicans.
• Other questions examine where jurors get their news, if they have worked for a Dump-led business or organization, and if they’ve attended rallies or protests in favor or against the former president.
• Merchan wrote, “The ultimate issue is whether the prospective juror can assure us that they will set aside any personal feelings or biases and render a decision that is based on the evidence and the law.”
• Makes sense to me.
• In other news…
• Jack Smith reminded the Supreme Court yesterday that presidents are not gods or kings.
• The Special counsel made a filing to the Court to reject Dumpy's claim that he is entitled to sweeping immunity from federal prosecution.
• Perhaps the most important part of Smith’s filing was that even if the Court made the massive and precedent-setting error that all presidents were immune from all criminal prosecution, Dump’s scheme to thwart the transfer of presidential power in late 2020/early 2021, after he’d lost the election, was outside the duties of his office.
• Hence, no immunity regardless.
• "No presidential power at issue in this case entitles the president to claim immunity from the general federal criminal prohibitions supporting the charges: fraud against the United States, obstruction of official proceedings, and denial of the right to vote, The president's constitutional duty to take care that the laws be faithfully executed does not entail a general right to violate them." 
• Good point.
• Smith and his team will laying out these arguments before the justices on April 25, when they convene to weigh Trump's bid to bring an end to his federal prosecution in Washington, D.C.
• It will be regarded as one of the most important cases in Supreme Court history. And we’ll be here for it in less than three weeks. Yay us!
• Lordy.
• And in related news this morning, fifteen former national security officials have filed an amicus brief with the United States Supreme Court in advance of the case, which is appropriately called Trump v. United States.
• The former national security officials include Generals who served in the United States Armed Forces and highlight the national security concerns with Dumpy's absolute immunity argument. 
• The point of the brief reads, "[Dump's] broad view of immunity would imperil U.S. national security, weaken the authority of the President, and throw confusion into the chain of command of the armed forces, which the President, as Commander-in-Chief, commands."
• Fuck him up!
• Let’s move on.
• Dump’s wishy-washy stance on women’s reproductive rights isn’t helping him at all. Think about it this way.
• Democrats, who overwhelmingly support the rights of women to choose their own reproductive pathways, were never going to vote for Dump. Nothing he says to smooth over his anti-woman rhetoric will change that.
• But now the far-right Republicans and evangelicals who’d bought into his previous commitment to seek a nationwide total ban on abortion are now aghast that he’s gone back on his word to them.
• Yesterday, Dumples received a rather mild rebuke from Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC), saying he “respectfully” disagreed with Dump and intended to keep pursuing a federal abortion ban at the federal level — a ban, it’s worth noting, that Trump did not say he’d reject if it were passed by a Republican-led Congress.
• Oh man, Dump lost his shit.
• Within hours of Graham’s tiny pushback, Dumpy was posting that Graham was a warmonger, that he was “doing a great disservice to the Republican Party,” and concluded, “I blame myself for Lindsey Graham, because the only reason he won in the Great State of South Carolina is because I Endorsed him!”
• So that will be fun to watch. Basically, when it’s said and done, it’s going to end up being Trump vs. Everyone.
• Which is really what it’s always been.
• And now, The Weather: “Dope Sick” by Love Spells & Deb Never
• From the Sports Desk… in what will likely be my last mention of college sports for a long, long time, congrats to the NCAA men’s champion UConn Huskies, who beat the Purdue Boilermakers 75-60 last night.
• We’ll now move our attention to the quickly-approaching NBA and NHL playoffs. Thank God. I may mention baseball occasionally.
• Today in history… Mongol forces defeat the Polish and German armies (1241). Despite being outnumbered 16:1, forces of the Old Swiss Confederacy are victorious over the Archduchy of Austria in the Battle of Näfels (1388). Robert Cavelier de La Salle discovers the mouth of the Mississippi River, claims it for France and names it Louisiana (1682). On his phonautograph machine, Édouard-Léon Scott de Martinville makes the oldest known recording of an audible human voice (1860). Robert E. Lee surrenders the Army of Northern Virginia (26,765 troops) to Ulysses S. Grant at Appomattox Court House, Virginia, effectively ending the war (1865). African-American singer Marian Anderson gives a concert at the Lincoln Memorial after being denied the use of Constitution Hall (1939). The United States Atomic Energy Commission is formed (1945). The Journey of Reconciliation, the first interracial Freedom Ride begins through the upper South in violation of Jim Crow laws (1947). NASA announces the selection of the United States' first seven astronauts, whom the news media quickly dub the "Mercury Seven” (1959). The first Boeing 737 makes its maiden flight (1967). Baghdad falls to American forces in the Iraq War (2003). Dr. David Dao Duy Anh is forcibly dragged off the flight by aviation security officers, leading to major criticism of United Airlines (2017).
• April 9 is the birthday of flute player/composer Theobald Boehm (1794), poet Charles Baudelaire (1821), NFL player/coach Curly Lambeau (1898), actor Avery Schreiber (1935), screenwriter Marty Krofft (1937), actress Michael Learned (1939), drummer Steve Gadd (1945), actor Dennis Quaid (1954), journalist Joe Scarborough (1963), actress Cynthia Nixon (1966), actor/writer/director Jay Chandrasekhar (1968), actress Jenna Jameson (1974), singer-songwriter Albert Hammond Jr. (1980), actress Elle Fanning (1998), and rapper Lil Das X (1999).

I’m already feeling more myself after writing this news. Today should be rather typical for me… meetings, hopefully productive work, a run to the grocery store, and whatever the fuck. Enjoy your day.

Random News: April 8, 2024

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s April 8, 2024, and it’s a Monday. Feels like a normal Monday so far. Today’s coffee is Peet’s Sumatra, and it’s delicious as usual. Let’s see what we have to chat about today.

• The big news of the day is, of course, the total solar eclipse.
• You’ll probably want to know what time it happens. And that answer is… it depends on where you are. Both time zones and specific geographic locations are needed to tell you exactly when the Moon will pass in front of the Sun and the shadow of said moon will fall on you to whatever degree it does.
• Here in Southern California, the event will run between roughly 10AM and noon, with peak coverage of about 50% here at 11:05AM. It will be neat.
• I bet your local news channels and websites are overflowing with info you can use.
• I guess the thing I’ll tell you, other than to get off your ass and go outside and experience it in person and not just look at it on a fucking screen, is that your regular sunglasses are 100% not dark enough to look into the Sun.
• Also, those super cheap “eclipse glasses” you got last week on Amazon may not be actually protective enough.
• The Sun is an ongoing nuclear explosion that started 4.5 billion years ago. It is 109 times the diameter of Earth. It weighs 333,000 times as much as Earth. 1.3 million Earths could fit inside of it.
• Don’t look at it.
• Or at least err on the side of caution and don’t fuck up your eyes. Having your corneas or retinas burned actually hurts a lot. Ask me, who got snow-blinded once in my youth. But do enjoy the eclipse. You may not get the chance to experience another one.
• That 115-mile slightly curved strip going up from Texas to Maine is the only zone in the USA where a total eclipse will occur. I’m looking forward to the inevitable millions of pics and videos from people who use cameras with filters that were actually made for this.
• Here’s something you can do during the eclipse: look at something red or green.
• As light dims, our eyes transition from photopic vision, associated with the retina's cone cells that deliver full colors and fine detail, toward scotopic night vision that relies on rod cells to detect objects in low light. In the middle is mesopic vision, the transitional phase where both rods and cones are active.
• When the light's intensity dims in the eclipse, colors with longer wavelengths, like red, will look darker as cones become less active. But because rods are sensitive to the shorter blue-green wavelengths, those colors will have a chance to shine.
• See? Neat, huh? You should also note differences in light-oriented phenomenon like shadows.
• And of course, since this is America, people have monetized the event in a huge way via eclipse tourism.
• Occupancy rates at short-term rentals in the path of totality have soared to about 88%. Over 110,000 rental listings were made for Airbnb and Vrbo and the like.
• Areas that would have nowhere near complete occupancy in these rentals are booked solid. Buffalo, NY had a staggering 98.2% occupancy rate for its 1,297 listings, while Rochester was at 97.1% on 1,115 listings. Killeen, TX had 523 listings that drew a 98.3% occupancy rate.
• I mean, Jeffersonville, VT had the highest occupancy rate at 99.2% of 512 listings. That’s crazy.
• A couple of last eclipse things.
• If you’re headed somewhere… a park, a mountain, a whatever, planning to watch the eclipse from some ideal spot, keep in mind that probably thousands of other people share your brilliant idea, and traffic might get fucked up and you’ll be super mad, stuck in your car in a jam while the moon comes and goes.
• So that would be bad.
• Also note that varying schools, depending on the local time of the event, are letting kids out early to experience it. Might wanna check to see if there’s some special schedule today.
• Let’s move on… but again, take 15 minutes out of your day and go outside during the eclipse. You live in a universe; you should experience it a few times in your life.
• Okay then.
• We know that Dumpy is not a smart man, but we also know he will say or do anything that benefits himself.
• After years of backing evangelicals, misogynists, and other people who want to remove the rights of women by supporting a national total abortion ban, Dump sees the writing on the wall.
• No candidate can get elected to any major position in the USA who supports a total abortion ban. Bans on women’s reproductive health care are highly unpopular in the USA, with over two-thirds of people supporting women’s rights to abortion.
• So today, he declined to endorse a national ban after months of mixed messages and speculation, and said that instead it should be left up to the states.
• Meaning, of course, he’s fine with situations like Florida’s new 6-week ban that makes it illegal to seek an abortion before most women are aware they’re pregnant.
• Dump put out a video this morning where he once again takes full credit for the U.S. Supreme Court’s decision to end Roe v. Wade, saying that he was “proudly the person responsible for the ending” of the constitutional right to an abortion and thanking the conservative justices who overturned it by name.
• Dumpalumpagus has previously stated that there has to be punishment for any woman who gets an abortion.
• This guy would flip back to his previous stance of a national abortion ban the moment he got back into office. Don’t let that happen.
• Moving on.
• Want a good list of books to read? How about the list of the 10 most challenged titles of 2023 that was just released by the American Library Association?
• These are the books that receive the highest amount of efforts to be banned nationwide, and of the top ten titles, seven of which deal with LGBTQ themes.
• Maia Kobabe’s “Gender Queer,” a graphic memoir that chronicles the author coming out as nonbinary, topped the list for the third year in a row. Other LGBTQ-themed titles on the list include George M. Johnson’s “All Boys Aren’t Blue,” Juno Dawson’s “This Book Is Gay,” and Mike Curato’s “Flamer.”
• The number of books challenged in libraries across the U.S. in 2023 spiked 65% over the previous year, reaching the highest level ever documented.
• 4,240 individual book titles were targeted for removal from schools and public libraries last year — a dramatic uptick from the previous high of 2,571 in 2022.
• Here’s the funny thing: much like the efforts to quash terrorism invariably leads to more terrorism, the act of banning these books raises their profiles and increases the level of interest in them by people who otherwise might never heard of them.
• The top banned book list also included Stephen Chbosky’s “The Perks of Being a Wallflower,” Toni Morrison’s “The Bluest Eye,” Ellen Hopkins’ “Tricks,” Jesse Andrews’ “Me and Earl and the Dying Girl,” Erika Moen and Matthew Nolan’s “Let’s Talk About It,” and Patricia McCormick’s “Sold.”
• Let’s move on.
• An engine covering fell off a Boeing plane and hit the plane's wing flap as the Houston-bound Southwest Airlines flight took off from Denver International Airport yesterday morning. 
• They safely returned to the airport following the incident, and the Boeing 737-800 was towed to the gate.
• Jesus Boeing. What the fuck is going on with you? These incidents can’t all be random.
• And now, The Weather: “God Texted Back” by Snowy
• Let’s do a chart. It’s April 1975, my family is about to move from Massachusetts to Southern California, and here’s the top of the Billboard 200 albums chart. Damn, there is some really good shit in here… and some occasional real shit, as usual.
• 1. Physical Graffiti (Led Zeppelin). 2. An Evening With John Denver (John Denver). 3. Have You Never Been Mellow (Olivia Newton-John). 4. Blood On The Tracks (Bob Dylan). 5. For Earth Below (Robin Trower). 6. Perfect Angel (Minnie Riperton). 7. Rock 'N' Roll (John Lennon). 8. Autobahn (Kraftwerk). 9. Young Americans (David Bowie). 10. That's The Way Of The World (Soundtrack) (Earth, Wind & Fire). 11. Cold On The Shoulder (Gordon Lightfoot). 12. Crash Landing (Jimi Hendrix). 13. Phoebe Snow (Phoebe Snow). 14. Chicago VIII (Chicago). 15. Nightbirds (Patti LaBelle). 16. A Song For You (The Temptations). 17. Yesterday's (Yes). 18. Funny Lady (Barbra Streisand). 19. Al Green/Greatest Hits (Al Green). 20. Really Rosie (Carole King).
• From the Sports Desk… we have a champion for NCAA Women’s basketball. The undefeated South Carolina Gamecocks, who were the predicted favorite from the start, takes home the trophy after beating Caitlin Clark and the Iowa Hawkeyes 87-75.
• The Men’s championship game — Purdue vs. UConn - is tonight.
• Today in history… The Mongols begin their siege on Kaifeng, the capital of the Jin dynasty (1232). Shearith Israel, the first synagogue in continental North America, is dedicated (1730). The Venus de Milo is discovered on the Aegean island of Milos (1820). Harvard University votes to establish the Harvard Business School (1908). Dutch physicist Heike Kamerlingh Onnes discovers superconductivity (1911). The 17th Amendment to the United States Constitution, requiring direct election of Senators, becomes law (1913). President Franklin D. Roosevelt, in an attempt to check inflation, freezes wages and prices, prohibits workers from changing jobs unless the war effort would be aided thereby, and bars rate increases by common carriers and public utilities (1943). Frank Robinson manages the Cleveland Indians in his first game as major league baseball's first African American manager (1975). Windows XP reaches its standard End Of Life and is no longer supported (2014). Bernie Sanders ends his presidential campaign, leaving Joe Biden as the Democratic Party's nominee (2020). A total solar eclipse takes place at the Moon's ascending node, visible across North America (2024).
• April 8 is the birthday of actress Mary Pickford (1892), first lady Betty Ford (1918), comedian Shecky Greene (1926), journalist Seymour Hersh (1937), NBA player John Havlicek (1940), fashion designer Vivienne Westwood (1941), MLB player Catfish Hunter (1946), guitarist/composer Steve Howe (1947), singer-songwriter Brenda Russell (1949), MLB player Gary Carter (1954), guitarist Izzy Stradlin (1962), singer-songwriter Julian Lennon (1963), singer-songwriter Donita Sparks (1963), rapper/actor Biz Markie (1964), actress Robin Wright (1966), actress Patricia Arquette (1968), singer-songwriter/guitarist Alexi Laiho (1979), MLB player Carlos Santana (1986), and NFL player CeeDee Lamb (1999).

So, like I said… I’ll be presumably having a normal day, but I am setting an alarm on my phone so I don’t forget to go outside. You live on a rock that’s floating in space, orbiting a star that itself is orbiting in a galaxy that is also being pulled around a vast universe. Try and get out of your everyday mindset for a few minutes and appreciate the miracle of being here at all. Enjoy your day.

Random News: April 7, 2024

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s April 7, 2024, and it’s a Sunday. Once again, I’m up and dressed, as if I wasn’t a lazy slob who usually spends weekend mornings in a bathrobe. It’s just been kinda chilly here in the LA region and it’s more comfortable after a hot shower and in jeans and a flannel. I’ve got some coffee, so let’s check the news.

• Today marks the 6-month point of the Israel-Hamas War, and while there have been a few momentary reasons for hope, no one can say with any certainty when it will end, or how.
• More than 33,000 Palestinians have been killed in that six month span. But that’s probably just the start.
• Between siege, bombardment, and ground offensive, the crisis of near starvation is near. Several hundred thousand Palestinians in northern Gaza face imminent famine, with little aid able to reach them.
• An influx of refugees has swelled the area’s southernmost city of Rafah to some 1.4 million people, some five times the normal population. And Israel is expanding its offensive to that location next.
• There’s very little I can write here to sugarcoat it. Historically, it’s not going to be viewed in any kind of positive light… not even by the Israeli people, who have differing priorities between getting their hostages back to wiping Hamas off the planet.
• Here’s hoping this resolves at the earliest opportunity, with as little genocide as possible.
• Moving on.
• Rep. Mike Turner (R-OH) confirmed this morning that some of his fellow members of Congress were parroting Russian propaganda in discussing the Russia-Ukraine war on the House floor.
• Turner said, “There are members of Congress today who still incorrectly say that this conflict between Russia and Ukraine is over NATO, which of course it is not. Vladimir Putin having made it very clear, both publicly and to his own population, that his view is that this is a conflict of a much broader claim of Russia to Eastern Europe, including claiming all of Ukrainian territories as Russian.”\
• Which makes you think long and hard about people like Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) who has made it a top priority to prevent Congress from approving more aid to Ukraine.
• She recently threatened to hold a vote to remove House Speaker Mike Johnson should he hold a vote on Ukraine aid.
• Maybe someday we’ll find out the whole story of the people who were trying to bring down the USA from both the inside and out. Maybe not. You never know.
• Let’s move on.
• Tomorrow is the big day… the Great North American Eclipse.
• I’ve spoken about it a lot in the past week. My only reminder to you: just because you’re not directly in the path of totality doesn’t mean you should ignore it. I’m near Los Angeles; we’ll still have about a 50% partial eclipse here.
• Enjoy the detailed quality of light changing, which will be the case in varying degrees of subtlety across about 90% of Mexico, the USA, and Canada.
• It’ll be cool.
• And if you’re lucky enough to be in that diagonal strip of land heading northeastward from Texas up to Maine, please don’t blow it off. Get outside and see for yourself. For many people, it’s a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
• In other news…
• I want to mention two women who recently almost died due to being refused medical help inn states that have banned and severely curtailed abortion rights.
• Amanda Zurawski, 37, of Austin, TX had been in her second trimester, after 18 months of fertility treatments, when she went into early labor and was told the baby would not survive. 
• Doctors said they could not intervene to provide an abortion because Zurawski wasn’t in enough medical danger.
• Three days later, her condition rapidly worsened and she developed sepsis. She stabilized just long enough to deliver a stillborn girl, then spent days in an ICU.
• Kaitlyn Joshua of Louisiana was having a second baby with her husband. But she started to experience bleeding and serious pain at about 11 weeks.
• But at an emergency room in Baton Rouge, doctors wouldn’t confirm she was miscarrying or discuss medical options, and sent her home. The bleeding worsened; she went to a second hospital; doctors sent her home.
• She had to find a midwife just to confirm she had miscarried. She was given no medical treatment.
• Both women are now campaigning for President Joe Biden in places like North Carolina and Wisconsin to meet with doctors, local officials and voters. They will focus on how women’s health is being affected by the overturning of federal abortion protections.
• Over 66% of Americans say abortion should generally be legal. About one-quarter say abortion should always be legal, but only 1 in 10 say it should always be illegal.
• Donnie Dump has, on multiple occasions, taken the credit for having overturned Roe v. Wade, the landmark case that gave reproductive freedom to woman for almost 50 years between 1973-2022, when Dump’s hand-picked Supreme Court reversed the decision.
• The Republican agenda for next year and beyond starts with making abortion illegal in all 50 states, along with contraception. Don’t let it happen, people.
• Let’s move on to my least-favorite feature, Sunday Gunday.
• Three dead and three wounded in three separate shootings on the same day in Stockton, CA. Two dead and seven more shot at a nightclub in Doral, FL. Two dead in a murder-suicide in Cedar Park, TX. One dead, two injured in a club shooting in NW Oklahoma City, OK. One dead, one injured in a shooting in Emporia, VA. One dead, one injured in a shooting in north Minneapolis, MN. One shot dead at a shopping mall in Cerritos, CA. One shot dead near an apartment complex in Littleton, CO. One shot dead in the West Englewood neighborhood of Chicago, IL. A woman shot dead in Dallas, TX. One shot dead at a Walmart in San Antonio, TX. One shot dead at a shopping center in DeKalb County, GA. One shot dead in downtown Salinas, CA. One shot dead in St. Louis, MO. Six shot on the Northeast Side of San Antonio, TX. Two shot on I-71 in north Columbus, OH. One shot and in critical condition in Kansas City, MO. A woman shot in Covington, WA. One shot in the Magnolia Parks neighborhood of Houston, TX. One shot in Glendale, AZ.
• There’s always more but I don’t like spending my whole day on this shit.
• And yes, these are just for the past two days. You don’t have to accept it. You could vote for politicians who support reasonable gun control measures.
• And now, The Weather: “Orb weaver” by Draag
• From the Sports Desk… we have an NCAA Men’s Championship matchup.
• Yesterday, 1-seed Purdue beat 11-seed NC State 63-50, and 1-seed UConn beat 4-seed Alabama 86-72.
• These two top-seeded teams will meet in the championship tomorrow evening. And then I can get back to ignoring college sports for 11 months.
• In other Sports Desk news, congrats to the newest inductees into the basketball Hall of Fame.
• They include players Vince Carter, Chauncey Billups, Seimone Augustus, Michael Cooper, Walter Davis, Dick Barnett and Michele Timms; executive Jerry West (who was already inducted as a player and as a member of the 1960 U.S. Olympic team); coaches Charles Smith, Harley Redin, and Bo Ryan; broadcaster/coach Doug Collins; and owner Herb Simon.
• All well deserved.
• Today in history… Attila the Hun captures Metz in France, killing most of its inhabitants and burning the town (451). Ferdinand Magellan arrives at Cebu (1521). Premiere performance of Johann Sebastian Bach's ‘St John Passion’, BWV 245, at St. Nicholas Church, Leipzig (1724). The French First Republic adopts the kilogram and gram as its primary unit of mass (1795). The Mississippi Territory is organized from disputed territory claimed by both the United States and the Spanish Empire (1798). Ludwig van Beethoven premieres his Third Symphony at the Theater an der Wien in Vienna (1805). The Union's Army of the Tennessee and the Army of the Ohio defeat the Confederate Army of Mississippi near Shiloh, TN (1862). Mount Vesuvius erupts and devastates Naples (1906). AT&T transmits the first long-distance public television broadcast, from Washington, D.C., to New York City, displaying the image of Commerce Secretary Herbert Hoover (1927). Nazi Germany issues the Law for the Restoration of the Professional Civil Service banning Jews and political dissidents from civil service posts (1933). Booker T. Washington becomes the first African American to be depicted on a United States postage stamp (1940). The National Football League makes helmets mandatory (1943). The World Health Organization is established by the United Nations (1948). IBM announces the System/360 (1964). The Internet's symbolic birth date: Publication of RFC 1 (1969). During STS-6, astronauts Story Musgrave and Don Peterson perform the first Space Shuttle spacewalk (1983). The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention announces that the SARS-CoV-2 Alpha variant has become the dominant strain of COVID-19 in the United States (2021). Ketanji Brown Jackson is confirmed for the Supreme Court of the United States, becoming the first black female justice (2022).
• April 7 is the birthday of poet William Wordsworth (1770), businessman Will Keith Kellogg (1860), journalist/activist Marjory Stoneman Douglas (1890), journalist Walter Winchell (1897), composer/bandleader Percy Faith (1908), singer-songwriter Billie Holiday (1915), sitar player Ravi Shankar (1920), actor James Garner (1928), actor Wayne Rogers (1933), politician Jerry Brown (1938), trumpet player Freddie Hubbard (1938), film director/producer Francis Ford Coppola (1939), singer-songwriter John Oates (1948), singer-songwriter Janis Ian (1951), martial artist/actor Jackie Chan (1954), NFL player Tony Dorsett (1954), actor Russell Crowe (1964), NFL player Ronde Barber (1975), NFL player Tiki Barber (1975), and MLB player Adrián Beltré (1979).

Good enough. Enjoy your day.