Tuesday, April 9, 2024

Random News: April 9, 2024



DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.



Good morning. It’s April 9, 2024, and it’s a Tuesday. I think I have an eclipse hangover, or got an overdose of vitamin D from being out of my hobbit hole and out in the elements yesterday. Either way, feeling a bit weird this morning, but I’m sure I’ll settle into the normalcy of a regular-ass Tuesday before long.


  • I hope you were able to in some way, big or small, enjoy yesterday’s total solar eclipse. I sure did, even here near Los Angeles, over a thousand miles from the path of totality.
  • I’ve seen a few people actually complaining about it, because… people.
  • Some folks opined that “eclipses happen all the time, so why all this media hype?”
  • Eclipses do happen somewhat often… just not near you. 
  • In July 2019, there was one for the South Pacific and southern South America, and another for the same area in December 2020. Another total eclipse hit Antarctica in December 2021.
  • If you’re in the Arctic, eastern Greenland, Iceland, and northern Spain, one will be happening in August 2026. Head over to the Central Atlantic, Mediterranean region, Egypt, or Red Sea area to experience a total eclipse in August 2027.
  • Staying here in the USA? Then you’re gonna wait awhile.
  • A total solar eclipse won't be visible again from the contiguous US until August 22, 2044, but totality will only occur over North Dakota and Montana, plus northern Canada. The next total solar eclipse with a coast-to-coast path spanning the lower 48 states will occur on August 12, 2045.
  • Yeah, in more than 21 years. That’s hardly “all the time”. I’ll be 76 years old, assuming I’m alive.
  • Okay, enough on that. Some actual news now.
  • In the latest episode of “The Denials of Donnie,” the Smelly One’s last ditch effort to stay his April 15th criminal trial in New York City has been denied by a New York appellate court. 
  • Yesterday morning, Diaper Don filed a desperate lawsuit against Judge Juan Merchan.
  • The Hail Mary motion was for a change of venue, along with an appeal of Judge Merchan's gag order imposed last month. He’d also asked the New York appellate court to stay the April 15th trial date pending resolution of his change of venue motion.
  • Mere hours later, the appellate court denied Dump's request in a short and sweet one-page order from the Honorable Lizbeth Gonzalez.
  • “Defendant’s application for a stay of trial, pursuant to CPL §230.20, pending the determination of defendant’s motion for change of venue, is denied.”
  • Ha ha.
  • In preparation for the trial starting next Monday, Judge Merchan has sent out his proposed jury questionnaire to Dump's attorneys and the Manhattan District Attorney's Office.
  • In the letter, he notified counsel that they would not be permitted to ask prospective jurors questions concerning their political affiliation or political donation history. 
  • Ha ha ha ha!
  • As a reminder, this trial is the least significant of the legal trouble El Dumpo is facing. On March 30, 2023, Donald John Trump was criminally indicted on 34 felony counts of falsifying business records revolving around the hush-money payment to porn actress Stormy Daniels.
  • The payment of $130,000 was for Daniels to keep quiet about a sexual interaction Daniels had with Dump in 2006 at his resort in Lake Tahoe, NV.
  • Dump had married his wife Melania the year before in 2005, and she had given birth to their son Barron four months before the encounter.
  • That’s sleazy, but not a felony. However, questions about the money — whether it was listed as campaign funds, how it was categorized for tax purposes, and more — was enough to have a grand jury indict him for falsifying business records.
  • Why isn’t it just a misdemeanor? Because the crime was committed to carry out or conceal a second offense. It’s the first-ever situation with a former U.S. president to be criminally charged, and it will be historically significant no matter what happens.
  • Also in regard to that trial, yesterday, Judge Merchan released a list of 42 questions that prospective jurors can expect to be asked. Their focus helps determine whether the juror has strong support or distaste for Dump, affiliation with extremist groups or ideologies, and more.
  • The questionnaire mentions affiliation with specific extremist groups including the right-wing Proud Boys, Oath Keepers, Three Percenters, and Boogaloo Boys, conspiracy theory and political movement QAnon, plus the anti-fascist movement Antifa.
  • However, the questions steer clear of asking potential jurors whether they’ve voted, donated, or align with Democrats or Republicans.
  • Other questions examine where jurors get their news, if they have worked for a Dump-led business or organization, and if they’ve attended rallies or protests in favor or against the former president.
  • Merchan wrote, “The ultimate issue is whether the prospective juror can assure us that they will set aside any personal feelings or biases and render a decision that is based on the evidence and the law.”
  • Makes sense to me.
  • In other news…
  • Jack Smith reminded the Supreme Court yesterday that presidents are not gods or kings.
  • The Special counsel made a filing to the Court to reject Dumpy's claim that he is entitled to sweeping immunity from federal prosecution.
  • Perhaps the most important part of Smith’s filing was that even if the Court made the massive and precedent-setting error that all presidents were immune from all criminal prosecution, Dump’s scheme to thwart the transfer of presidential power in late 2020/early 2021, after he’d lost the election, was outside the duties of his office.
  • Hence, no immunity regardless.
  • "No presidential power at issue in this case entitles the president to claim immunity from the general federal criminal prohibitions supporting the charges: fraud against the United States, obstruction of official proceedings, and denial of the right to vote, The president's constitutional duty to take care that the laws be faithfully executed does not entail a general right to violate them." 
  • Good point.
  • Smith and his team will laying out these arguments before the justices on April 25, when they convene to weigh Trump's bid to bring an end to his federal prosecution in Washington, D.C.
  • It will be regarded as one of the most important cases in Supreme Court history. And we’ll be here for it in less than three weeks. Yay us!
  • Lordy.
  • And in related news this morning, fifteen former national security officials have filed an amicus brief with the United States Supreme Court in advance of the case, which is appropriately called Trump v. United States.
  • The former national security officials include Generals who served in the United States Armed Forces and highlight the national security concerns with Dumpy's absolute immunity argument. 
  • The point of the brief reads, "[Dump's] broad view of immunity would imperil U.S. national security, weaken the authority of the President, and throw confusion into the chain of command of the armed forces, which the President, as Commander-in-Chief, commands."
  • Fuck him up!
  • Let’s move on.
  • Dump’s wishy-washy stance on women’s reproductive rights isn’t helping him at all. Think about it this way.
  • Democrats, who overwhelmingly support the rights of women to choose their own reproductive pathways, were never going to vote for Dump. Nothing he says to smooth over his anti-woman rhetoric will change that.
  • But now the far-right Republicans and evangelicals who’d bought into his previous commitment to seek a nationwide total ban on abortion are now aghast that he’s gone back on his word to them.
  • Yesterday, Dumples received a rather mild rebuke from Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC), saying he “respectfully” disagreed with Dump and intended to keep pursuing a federal abortion ban at the federal level — a ban, it’s worth noting, that Trump did not say he’d reject if it were passed by a Republican-led Congress.
  • Oh man, Dump lost his shit.
  • Within hours of Graham’s tiny pushback, Dumpy was posting that Graham was a warmonger, that he was “doing a great disservice to the Republican Party,” and concluded, “I blame myself for Lindsey Graham, because the only reason he won in the Great State of South Carolina is because I Endorsed him!”
  • So that will be fun to watch. Basically, when it’s said and done, it’s going to end up being Trump vs. Everyone.
  • Which is really what it’s always been.
  • And now, The Weather: “Dope Sick” by Love Spells & Deb Never
  • From the Sports Desk… in what will likely be my last mention of college sports for a long, long time, congrats to the NCAA men’s champion UConn Huskies, who beat the Purdue Boilermakers 75-60 last night.
  • We’ll now move our attention to the quickly-approaching NBA and NHL playoffs. Thank God. I may mention baseball occasionally.
  • Today in history… Mongol forces defeat the Polish and German armies (1241). Despite being outnumbered 16:1, forces of the Old Swiss Confederacy are victorious over the Archduchy of Austria in the Battle of Näfels (1388). Robert Cavelier de La Salle discovers the mouth of the Mississippi River, claims it for France and names it Louisiana (1682). On his phonautograph machine, Édouard-Léon Scott de Martinville makes the oldest known recording of an audible human voice (1860). Robert E. Lee surrenders the Army of Northern Virginia (26,765 troops) to Ulysses S. Grant at Appomattox Court House, Virginia, effectively ending the war (1865). African-American singer Marian Anderson gives a concert at the Lincoln Memorial after being denied the use of Constitution Hall (1939). The United States Atomic Energy Commission is formed (1945). The Journey of Reconciliation, the first interracial Freedom Ride begins through the upper South in violation of Jim Crow laws (1947). NASA announces the selection of the United States' first seven astronauts, whom the news media quickly dub the "Mercury Seven” (1959). The first Boeing 737 makes its maiden flight (1967). Baghdad falls to American forces in the Iraq War (2003). Dr. David Dao Duy Anh is forcibly dragged off the flight by aviation security officers, leading to major criticism of United Airlines (2017).
  • April 9 is the birthday of flute player/composer Theobald Boehm (1794), poet Charles Baudelaire (1821), NFL player/coach Curly Lambeau (1898), actor Avery Schreiber (1935), screenwriter Marty Krofft (1937), actress Michael Learned (1939), drummer Steve Gadd (1945), actor Dennis Quaid (1954), journalist Joe Scarborough (1963), actress Cynthia Nixon (1966), actor/writer/director Jay Chandrasekhar (1968), actress Jenna Jameson (1974), singer-songwriter Albert Hammond Jr. (1980), actress Elle Fanning (1998), and rapper Lil Das X (1999).


I’m already feeling more myself after writing this news. Today should be rather typical for me… meetings, hopefully productive work, a run to the grocery store, and whatever the fuck. Enjoy your day.

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