Random News: March 10, 2023

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s March 10, 2023, and if you can believe it, it’s a Friday once again! Caution: reason my news might make you aware of unjust disparities in various aspects of life, so if you don’t wanna be woke, go have a smoke…

• Republican lawmakers in several US states have introduced legislation proposing homicide and other criminal charges for those seeking abortion care.
• The bills have been introduced in states such as Texas, Kentucky, South Carolina, Oklahoma and Arkansas.
• It is highly unlikely that all of these bills will pass. But their proliferation marks a distinct departure from the language of existing bans and abortion restrictions, which typically exempt people seeking abortion care from criminalization.
• These are among the worst people who’ve ever existed. As a voter, you must assume that all Republicans feel the same about this. Remember this next time you head to the polls.
• And now, pardon me if you’ve read this one before, but…
• Manhattan DA prosecutors have signaled that criminal charges are going to be handed to former president Donald J. Trump very soon. Trump was given a deadline of next week to appear before a Manhattan grand jury - a common final step ahead of indictments.
• This is per the New York Times, so… guess we’ll see. Wake me up when something actually happens.
• That 6-year-old who shot and nearly killed his first-grade teacher at Richneck Elementary School in Newport News, VA will not be charged.
• You can’t start charging first graders with crimes. Someone that age can’t be expected to understand the legal system.
• The gun was purchased legally by the kid’s mom. However, Virginia law prohibits leaving a loaded gun where it is accessible to children under 14. The crime is punishable as a misdemeanor.
• Hopefully the parent will still have some kind of responsibility for this.
• In other gun news (and something rarely positive out of Florida)… 
• A federal appeals court yesterday upheld a Florida law passed after the massacre at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School that raised the minimum age to purchase a gun from 18 to 21.
• The 3-0 ruling from the 11th US Circuit Court of Appeals comes as aged-based restrictions are shaping up to become a flashpoint in the legal battles over gun access since the Supreme Court last year laid out a new test for determining a gun restriction’s constitutionality.
• However, since it’s Florida we’re talking about…
• The ruling may also be short-lived. Republican lawmakers this week introduced a bill that would lower the minimum age required to buy a firearm in the state from 21 back to 18.
• The more guns, the more death of innocents, the happier Republicans are. They prove it time and time again.
• In asshole news, Jenna Ellis, the lawyer who helped promote Trump’s Big Lie in 2020, was censured by a disciplinary judge in Colorado this week.
• Ellis signed a stipulation stating that several comments she made about the 2020 election violated professional ethics rules barring reckless, knowing or intentional misrepresentations by attorneys. As part of the stipulation, Ellis agrees to pay $224.
• Oooh, $224! How will she ever recover?
• In Hypocrite News, meet poor Lt. Gov. Randy McNally of Tennessee. He’s 79 years old.
• As you know, Tennessee has recently passed multiple bills that target LGBTQ people and culture. McNally has previously sponsored legislation to ban same-sex marriage.
• Now meet Franklin McClure, a 20-year-old performer from Knoxville, who goes by Franklyn “Finn” Superstar on social media.
• In response to a photo of McClure dancing outside in his underwear, McNally wrote, “Love it,” with heart emojis. In another close-up photo of McClure’s ass, McNally wrote two comments: “Finn, you can turn a rainy day into rainbows and sunshine!”
• In another image, where McClure’s shorts are pulled down a little, McNally commented, “Super look Finn.”
• The statement from McNally’s office says that the Lt. Gov. “is a prolific social media commenter” and “enjoys interacting with constituents.”
• I’ll bet! But look, I think this is the case of a lot of these situations. If these people could just live a life that’s true to themselves, there would be a lot less LGBTQIA+ discrimination. If you’re gay, just be gay. And I truly do feel sorry for this old guy, and wish he didn’t have to redirect his sexuality into making laws that target others who feel the same as he does.
• In “Oh Shit!” news, five men, lying face down with their hands tied, were found by the Mexican authorities on Thursday along with a letter purportedly written by a powerful criminal cartel, blaming the men for a recent attack on four Americans.
• “We have decided to hand over those involved and directly responsible for the events, who at all times acted of their own volition,” the letter said. The five men were found alive, along with the note, in Matamoros, the border city on the Rio Grande where the Americans were attacked.
• Yikes.
• Imagine having to see your drug cartel boss to tell him that a) you killed the wrong people and now b) a bunch of Americans now have you on their radar as a result. I’m amazed those guys were alive.
• And now, The Weather: “Taste” by Matty
• In actual weather news, officials in California issued evacuation warnings in portions of several counties amid powerful storms likely to deliver severe rainfall and cause widespread flooding across the central and northern parts of the state today.
• The Weather Prediction Center, which issued a Level 4 of 4 warning of excessive rainfall in the area. Down here in the LA area, it’s currently a nice little rain that will be hanging out for much of the day and tomorrow.
• Continuing on from yesterday’s rant about the start of Daylight Saving Time.
• When I wake up at 6AM on Monday, it will be the same as it is at 5AM today. That fucking sucks. I hate it.
• And yes, a whole lot of people like having more sunlight at the end of their day. I get it. I am a person who prefers being up and active in the morning, and I don’t need it to be bright and sunny at 8PM.
• It’s government-imposed jet lag, and I don’t fucking like it.
• Today in history… After establishing the city of Santo Domingo, Christopher Columbus departs for Spain, leaving his brother in command (1496). Charles I dissolves the Parliament of England, beginning the eleven-year period known as the Personal Rule (1629). An agreement between Nader Shah and Russia is signed near Ganja, Azerbaijan and Russian troops are withdrawn from occupied territories (1735). The Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo is ratified by the United States Senate, ending the Mexican–American War (1848). The first successful test of a telephone is made by Alexander Graham Bell (1876). Mahatma Gandhi is arrested in India, tried for sedition, and sentenced to six years in prison (1922). Mildred Gillars, aka "Axis Sally”, is convicted of treason (1949). Fearing an abduction attempt by China, thousands of Tibetans surround the Dalai Lama's palace to prevent his removal (1959). In Memphis, Tennessee, James Earl Ray pleads guilty to assassinating Martin Luther King Jr. (1969). Astronomers discover the rings of Uranus (1977). 
• March 10 is the birthday of poet/critic Karl Wilhelm Friedrich Schlegel (1772), educator/activist Hallie Quinn Brown (1849), sculptor Anna Hyatt Huntington (1876), businessman Alfred Peet (1920), basketball player Marques Haynes (1926), actor/martial artist Chuck Norris (1940), songwriter/guitarist Tom Scholz (1947), director/screenwriter Paul Haggis (1953), terrorist Osama bin Laden (1957), actress Sharon Stone (1958), songwriter/bass player Jeff Ament (1963), music producer Rick Rubin (1963), NFL player Rod Woodson (1965), actor Jon Hamm (1971), singer-songwriter Robin Thicke (1977), actress Olivia Wilde (1984), actress Ego Nwodim (1988), and NFL player Justin Herbert (1998).

Well, it’s Friday. It will be a busy day for me, but it will also be a day for having sushi for lunch. Is sushi a food for rainy days? It is in my house. Enjoy your day.