Random News: March 13, 2023

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s March 13, 2023, and it’s a Monday. Due to the time change, the damn sun isn’t even up and yet here I am, so let’s… yawn…

• I’ll start today with this cheery stat…
• The week after DST begins, there’s a 24% higher risk of heart attacks, a 6% spike in fatal car accidents, and an 8% increase in rates of strokes.
• Most of you don’t want to hear this but I’ll say it anyway: Daylight Saving Time is simply bad for your health. If you want to stop switching the clock, the more prudent way is to leave it as Standard Time all year.
• You’re better off with more sunlight in the morning. You’re better off having a reasonable amount of darkness before it’s time to sleep.
• I’ll stop grumbling about this now.
• The Oscars were last night. I am 100% not your dude from whom you should expect to talk about films.
• I totally admire the art of great filmmaking. I just tend to see things whenever. Two years later? Ten years later? I eventually do see stuff that people who I like say they like.
• Also, I wasn’t a big theater guy before the pandemic. I certainly haven’t seen a movie since COVID arrived.
• That being said, it seems like ‘Everything Everywhere All at Once’ won all the awards, and the actors who won seem like nice people, so I’m happy for them. It looks like an interesting premise for a film. I may have to check it out in 2025 or so.
• Side note: I’m so old that my main awareness of Ke Huy Quan is as Short Round in ‘Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom’. He seems like a great guy, though.
• In the worst possible news, a three-year-old girl killed her four-year-old sister in an accidental shooting in Houston, TX.
• I hear the same thing from ammosexuals all the time: an unloaded gun is a useless gun.
• Well, that one sure got used. Happy now?
• If you’re going to replace your tiny penis with a gun, at least have the foresight to keep it safe and not accessible by toddlers. I don’t know if I could continue living if I was one of that child’s parents.
• Marine scientists are tracking a 5,000-mile-wide seaweed bloom that is so large, it can be seen from space.
• You read that right. It’s 5,000 miles wide. That’s about twice the size of the USA.
• Big sargassum blooms are nothing new, but scientists say this one could be the largest in history. At last check, it was heading toward Florida’s Gulf coast.
• Ugh.
• A Minnesota State Senator was rushed to the hospital following a snowmobile crash on a rural lake.
• A 13-year-old boy was driving the snowmobile on the lake with Torrey Westrom as a passenger. Authorities say the snowmobile hit a packed snowdrift, throwing Westrom from the sled.
• Quick note: snowmobiles, all-terrain cycles, and jet skis are fun. They are also the cause of a lot of injuries and deaths because a lot of parents think that kids can just operate them with little or no training or safety precautions.
• The South Korean and U.S. militaries launched their biggest joint military exercises in years today, as North Korea said it tested submarine-launched cruise missiles in apparent protest of the drills it views as an invasion rehearsal.
• Last week, North Korean leader Kim Jong Un ordered his troops to be ready to repel its rivals' "frantic war preparation moves."
• Sigh.
• And now, The Weather: “Only You” by Lunar Vacation
• There’s all manner of shitty weather across the USA this week, so… yeah, stay warm, stay dry, be prepared, yada yada.
• This week will also feature a bunch of St. Patrick’s Day events. Much like Cinco de Mayo, St. Paddy’s Day is generally an excuse for people to drink an excessive amount of alcohol and act at their absolute worst.
• What holiday is the “stay home, smoke weed, and masturbate” day? There’s gotta be one of those.
• Dozens and dozens of shooting across the country this past weekend, including one at my local mall, the South Bay Galleria. In other words, a normal weekend in the USA.
• From the Sports Desk… if you do NCAA basketball, it’s time to put in your bracket. Despite being very knowledgeable about sports in general, I don’t follow college sports of any kind and don’t know shit about this.
• I may do a NCAAW bracket and follow the ladies just for shits and giggles.
• Today in history… Harvard College is named after clergyman John Harvard (1639). Felix Mendelssohn's Violin Concerto receives its premiere performance in Leipzig with Ferdinand David as soloist (1845). The Act Prohibiting the Return of Slaves is passed by the United States Congress, effectively annulling the Fugitive Slave Act of 1850 and setting the stage for the Emancipation Proclamation (1862). Apollo 9 returns safely to Earth after testing the Lunar Module (1969). The 2013 papal conclave elects Pope Francis as the 266th Pope of the Catholic Church (2013). President Donald Trump declares the COVID-19 pandemic to be a national emergency in the United States (2020). Breonna Taylor is killed by police officers who were forcibly entering her home in Louisville, KY (2020).
• March 13 is the birthday of UK prime minister Charles Grey (1764), US first lady Abigail Fillmore (1798), astronomer Percival Lowell (1855), physicist John Hasbrouck Van Vleck (1899), publisher/philanthropist Walter Annenberg (1908), science fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard (1911), cartoonist Al Jaffee (1921), singer-songwriter Neil Sedaka (1939), actor William H. Macy (1950), actress/guitarist Charo (1951), bass player Adam Clayton (1960), actor/alleged rapist Danny Masterson (1976), and rapper Jack Harlow (1998). 

Well, it’s time to go work out and try to stop complaining about the fact that I lost an hour for no reason at all. Where’s my fucking hour? Gone. Anyway, try not to become a statistic and stay safe. Enjoy your day.