Random News: May 13, 2023

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s May 13, 2023, and it’s a Saturday. I’ve got my bathrobe on and I’ve got a hot cup of Peet’s, so let’s explore the realm of things…

• The right wing of Twitter users and Musk fluffers (which are essentially the same people) are super mad. They are hugely angry. They are gigantically upset.
• Elon has indeed hired Linda Yaccarino as Twitter’s new CEO. Yaccarino will be resigning her current gig as chairman of global advertising and partnerships at NBCUniversal, the most mainstream of mainstream media jobs in the world that she’s held for 11 years.
• Right wing Twitter is much, much more upset about Yaccarino being the chair of a World Economic Forum (WEF) committee. That’s the group of the world's wealthiest and most influential people who meet every year in Davos, Switzerland to discuss topics like climate change and the global economy.
• GLOBALISTS! AAAAAA!
• Yaccarino also horrifies the MAGA community by having (GASP!) given strong support to vaccinations and use of masks during the pandemic.
• Some of right wing Twitter is saying they may want their $8/month back is Twitter’s going to be run by some liberal female.
• Sucks to be them. Also…
• Left-leaning Twitter users pointed out a list of conservative accounts Yaccarino follows and likes tweets, including Catturd, Ron DeSantis, and various right-wing commentators. She doesn’t seem like any kind of liberal at all.
• I have to laugh, speaking of Catturd (yes, a leading right-wing voice is a man named Catturd). When he saw the Yaccarino announcement, he completely freaked out.
• He called the new Twitter boss “a far left loon deeply infected with the woke mind virus”.
• Hahahahaha! I’m enjoying this far too much.
• Like everything in actual business, this is about money. Advertisers have been fleeing Twitter since Musk’s purchase of the platform. Yaccarino is one of the most respected ad execs in the world. End of story, though I am still filled with schadenfreude joy at the response.
• Side note…
• I have a plethora of reasons to dislike Elon Musk (and trust me, I do), but I will say he now has women running all three of his companies.
• In addition to Yaccarino at Twitter, Gwynne Shotwell is the president and COO of SpaceX, and Robyn Denholm at least nominally serves as chairman of Tesla (a position Musk was legally required to vacate by the SEC).
• Moving on…
• Let’s talk Turkey for a moment.
• There’s a strong possibility that President Recep Tayyip Erdogan, who’s become more and more like an autocrat than a democrat in his two-decade rule, will be defeated by center-left opponent Kemal Kilicdaroglu in the country’s upcoming election.
• See if this statement about conservative “populist” Erdogan sounds familiar…
• "Erdogan has demonized so many groups from secularists to Kurdish nationalists to liberals to social democrats to leftists. When you add them up, that makes up about half of Turkey's population."
• Turkish citizens head to the polls tomorrow.
• In other news…
• Rallies are being held in Raleigh, NC with people protesting a controversial bill, passed by the state House and Senate, that would ban most abortions after 12 weeks. Gov. Roy Cooper is expected to formally veto SB20, and is trying to sway just one politician in the Republican supermajority to uphold his veto of the bill.
• “This bill is a disaster for all women of childbearing age in North Carolina, and, actually, all women, actually, all people in North Carolina. The fact that it restricts access so drastically, so much more drastically than what we have now, it’s going to mean that a lot of women, maybe even most women, won’t be able to access abortion.” - NC State Sen. Julie Mayfield
• We need a national law codifying the rights of women to not be forced to give birth regardless of the circumstances.
• Moving on…
• I have some excellent news, assuming you’re not a shitty person who would think otherwise…
• Officials in Missouri’s largest city approved a resolution this week to declare it a sanctuary for people seeking or providing gender-affirming care, defying state lawmakers who voted a day earlier to ban such care for minors and restrict it for some adults.
• Kansas City Mayor Quinton Lucas praised the 12 to 1 vote, saying the city is committed to being a “welcoming, inclusive, and safe place for everyone, including our transgender and LGBTQ+ community.”
• KC’s sanctuary status sets it apart as a Democratic-leaning city in a state with a Republican governor and GOP-controlled Legislature. Similar actions have been taken in cities that oppose state actions to restrict rights for transgender people, as in Austin, Texas.
• I can’t tell you how appreciative I am to see these shining lights in a sea of darkness.
• Here’s something else…
• Apparently there’s a big thing called the Lilac Festival in Rochester, NY. Sounds lovely and peaceful. Admiring flowers in a beautiful park, eating delicious festival foods, getting into massive brawls…
• Wait, what? Yeah, Rochester police responded to assist with a large group of juveniles who were departing the Lilac Festival last night. Multiple fights were reported and the group of around 300 people refused to leave from the area.
• At a fucking Lilac Festival? C’mon people.
• Tomorrow is Mother’s Day. It’s my first one after my mom passed away in February. Obviously that kind of sucks. I liked my mom. She was smart and funny, before she got sick anyway.
• Whatever kind of person you are — for good, bad, or indifferent — your mom probably had a lot to do with that. I hope those of you with moms get to enjoy her company in some way this weekend.
• Want some Florida news so you can feel better about whatever state you live in as long as it’s not Texas?
• Gov. Ron DeSantis has signed a new law to allegedly crack down on illegal immigration.
• However, from farming to construction, the law is expected to have a wide-ranging impact on a number of industries vital to Florida's economy.

• This always happens. Immigrants do the jobs that more comfortable people are unwilling or unable to do. Conservatives always want to stop immigration to our country, and then complain the loudest when the benefits of immigration to their personal lives become clear in their absence.
• Already, many Florida farm workers are too scared to go to work and are considering leaving the state, which could cause a huge staffing crisis for Florida agriculture.
• Sigh.
• Look around the USA. From the first wave of immigrants from England, France, and the Netherlands in the 1600s/1700s, to the groups who came here from Germany, China, Ireland, and Italy in the 19th and early 20th centuries, to the current influx from Mexico, Central America and elsewhere… WE’RE ALL FUCKING IMMIGRANTS, you dumbasses.
• If you’re not a native American tribal person, shut the fuck up.
• And now, The Weather: “Eraser” by Sweeping Promises
• The Social Security Administration has released the 20 most popular baby names of 2022, and they’re basically the same as they have been in recent times. 
• Top 10 baby boy names in order: Liam, Noah, Oliver, James, Elijah, William, Henry, Lucas, Benjamin, and Theodore
• Top 10 baby girl names in order: Olivia, Emma, Charlotte, Amelia, Sophia, Isabella, Ava, Mia, Evelyn, Luna.
• It’s historically typical that one name that has the top spot for around a decade. Jennifer was the top name for girls from 1970 until Jessica overtook it in 1985. Emily reigned supreme among girls’ names from 1996 until 2007.
• Boy names are even more unoriginal. Michael was the top name for boys almost every single year from 1954 to 1998. I’ve known WAY too many Mikes in my life — no offense to the 17 or more friends of mine named Mike who will read this right now.
• From the Sports Desk… the Miami Heat closed out the New York Knicks in Game 6, winning 96-92 in a grinding, close game. They’re headed to the Eastern conference finals to face the winner of the Boston/Philly series.
• And in the later game yesterday, the Los Angeles Lakers came out fighting, and they beat the Warriors 122-101, winning their series 4-2. They move on to the Western Conference finals and will face the Denver Nuggets. That series starts Tuesday.
• A little note on the Lakers, which I can do because they’re “my” team. A headline this morning says it all: “The Lakers have completed the greatest in-season turnaround in NBA history no matter what happens from here”
• They started the season 2-10. Few expected them to make the playoffs at all, and they barely squeaked in via the play-in tourney as a seventh seed. They’ve been underdogs to everyone they’ve faced.
• They’ll be huge underdogs to the top-ranked Nuggets, led by center Nikola Jokic and with great talent at every position. But I wouldn’t count them out; since the February trade deadline and the revitalization of the team, they’ve been the best team in the NBA.
• Let’s Go Lakers (clap clap, clap clap clap).
• Today in history… Sword duel between Miyamoto Musashi and Sasaki Kojiro on the shores of Ganryū Island; Kojiro is slain (1612). Ecuador gains its independence from Gran Colombia (1830). The United States declares war on the Federal Republic of Mexico following a dispute over the American annexation of the Republic of Texas and a Mexican military incursion (1846). Southern slave Robert Smalls commandeers the USS Planter, and is later officially appointed as captain, becoming the first black man to command a United States ship (1862). Ben Carlin becomes the only person to circumnavigate the world by amphibious vehicle during a ten-year journey (1958). Hundreds of University of California, Berkeley students congregate for the first day of protest against a visit by the House Committee on Un-American Activities (1960). Police bombed MOVE headquarters in Philadelphia, killing six adults and five children, and destroying the homes of 250 city residents (1985). Alison Hargreaves, a 33-year-old British mother, becomes the first woman to conquer Everest without oxygen or the help of sherpas (1995). 
• May 13 is the birthday of physician/histprian Ole Worm (1588), Great Britain prime minister Charles Watson-Wentworth (1730), painter/sculptor Georges Braque (1882), pianist/composer Gil Evans (1912), boxer Joe Louis (1914), cult leader/mass murderer Jim Jones (1931), actor Harvey Keitel (1939), singer-songwriter Ritchie Valens (1941), singer-songwriter Mary Wells (1943), harmonica player Magic Dick (1945), singer-songwriter/multi-instrumentalist Stevie Wonder (1950), NBA player Dennis Rodman (1961), comedian/TV host Stephen Colbert (1964), singer-songwriter Darius Rucker (1966), singer-songwriter Chuck Schuldiner (1967), Australia prime minister Scott Morrison (1968), guitarist Buckethead (1969), rapper Pusha T (1977), NBA player Mike Bibby (1978), actor Robert Pattinson (1986), and NHL player P. K. Subban (1989).

Alright well… I slept wrong and have one of those muscle knots under my shoulder blade that hurts when you move, breath, cough, turn, type, think, and so on. And yet, I wanted you all to get these bullets, because I love you. Now I’m going to find some pain relief. Enjoy your day.