Random News: July 22, 2023

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s July 22, 2023, and it’s a Saturday. I'm in a robe, though it’s getting a little too toasty to be in a robe for long, so let’s knock out this news and continue our respective days…

• This is great news…
• President Joe Biden has selected Admiral Lisa Franchetti to be the Navy’s top officer. If confirmed, she would be the first woman in the Navy’s history to hold the job, and the first woman in the joint chiefs of staff.
• Franchetti has served as the commander of US Naval Forces Korea, deputy Chief of Naval Operations for Warfighting Development, and director for Strategy, Plans, and Policy of the Joint Staff. She has also commanded two carrier strike groups, and became the Vice CNO in September 2022.
• A woman on the joint chiefs of staff is a long time coming. Hopefully nothing will slow down her confirmation process, he said, looking at Tommy Tuberville.
• In other news…
• The DOJ has notified Texas that it plans to file a lawsuit over Gov. Greg Abbott's floating border barrier in the Rio Grande to deter migrants from crossing illegally. They demand that Texas remove the buoys and razor wire along the Rio Grande by Monday, July 24, or legal action will be taken.
• ”The State of Texas’ actions violate federal law, raise humanitarian concerns, present serious risks to public safety and the environment, and may interfere with the federal government’s ability to carry out its official duties.”
• Pieces of shit. Honestly, the only thing that makes Texas’s political leaders less detestable is comparing them with Alabama and Florida.
• Moving on…
• Yesterday, Hunter Biden’s lawyer filed an ethics complaint in the House of Representatives against Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) for reaching a “new level of abhorrent behavior” after she displayed sexually explicit pictures of him during a hearing Wednesday.
• To be clear: a member of Congress showed nude “revenge porn” photos of a man on the floor of the House.
• That seems like the kind of thing that may come around against her in various ways of karmic payback.
• Let’s move on…
• On Thursday, the Missouri Supreme Court ordered the Republican attorney general to stand down and allow an initiative petition to legalize abortion in the state to move forward.
• Want to know the excuse that AG Andrew Bailey used to stop the people of his state from voting? He said that the cost to taxpayers of restoring abortion rights could be as much as a million times higher than what the auditor found.
• Due to his assholery, plaintiff Anna Fitz-James, who was represented by the ACLU of Missouri, lost out on nearly 100 days she could have been collecting signatures.
• People of Missouri, I beseech you: please find any opportunity to add your name to this petition so that the voters of your state can get abortion on the ballot. Let the people decide. Thank you.
• In other news…
• Here in California, the Temecula Valley Unified School District voted unanimously to adopt California’s new social studies book and curriculum during a Friday meeting after previously rejecting it twice.
• The reason for the objection? A book that covers important LGBTQ+ figures in history. 
• The reason for their change of heart? The threat of a $1.5 million fine from our governor Gavin Newsom, a person who stands up for the rights of marginalized people who conservatives would like to erase form history by any means necessary.
• Continuing with yet other news…
• A jury on Thursday convicted five Patriot Front members for conspiring to disrupt a Pride celebration in Coeur d’Alene, ID in June 2022. Devin Center, James J. Johnson, Forrest Rankin, Robert Whitted and Derek Smith are guilty of conspiracy to riot by disturbing the peace.
• However, Judge James Stow sentenced the five men yesterday morning to only five days in jail, with credit for time served. That means each man will have to serve three days in jail. They also were fined $1,000 each. Big fucking deal.
• These are the cowardly fucks who all dress in khaki slacks and polos and wear masks… like a preppie KKK.
• And now, The Weather: “Piñata” by Vilde
• Can we talk about Otter 841? I think we should.
• Listen to me. I am a human, which means I am officially a land animal. Okay?
• But especially in my youth, I spent a lot of time in the ocean, enjoying swimming and surfing and body surfing and body boarding and all kinds of things you do when you have a giant ocean right next to where you live.
• Otter 841 is a sea creature, but is for some reason an outlaw because she’s been deemed a public safety risk by state and federal wildlife officials because of her "unusually aggressive" behavior along the Santa Cruz coast. She’s been stealing surfboards.
• As a result, wildlife officials and Monterey Bay Aquarium staff are attempting to capture and rehome the otter to an aquarium or zoo.
• Fuck that shit. It’s her ocean, not ours. I am fully on the team of Otter 841 and her right to tell people to fuck off. There are several petitions circulating online in support of 841's freedom, one of which has gathered over 50,000 signatures.
• From the Sports Desk… the U.S. women's national team defeated Vietnam 3-0 in the teams' 2023 FIFA World Cup opener. Sophia Smith scored two first-half goals and Lindsey Horan added a third on a day when the U.S. defense was untroubled.
• USA! USA!
• Today in history… Godfrey of Bouillon is named the Defender of the Holy Sepulchre (1099). A second group of English settlers arrives on Roanoke Island off North Carolina to re-establish the deserted colony (1587). Albany, NY is chartered (1686). Alexander Mackenzie reaches the Pacific Ocean becoming the first recorded human to complete a transcontinental crossing of North America (1793). The Slavery Abolition Act passes in the British House of Commons, initiating the gradual abolition of slavery in most parts of the British Empire (1833). Outside Atlanta, Confederate General John Bell Hood leads an unsuccessful attack on Union troops under General William T. Sherman on Bald Hill (1864). Katherine Lee Bates writes “America the Beautiful” (1893). The United States Senate votes down President Franklin D. Roosevelt's proposal to add more justices to the Supreme Court of the United States (1937). The USA begins compulsory civilian gas rationing for WWII (1942). The Mariner I spacecraft launches erratically and has to be destroyed (1962). Greg LeMond wins his third Tour de France (1990). US military attacks a compound in Iraq, killing Saddam Hussein’s sons Uday and Qusay along with others (2003). 
• July 22 is the birthday of painter Edward Hopper (1882), philanthropist Rose Kennedy (1890), psychiatrist Karl Menninger (1893), politician Bob Dole (1923), actor Orson Bean (1928), fashion designer Oscar de la Renta (1932), novelist Tom Robbins (1932), actress Louise Fletcher (1934), TV host Alex Trebek (1940), singer-songwriter/producer George Clinton (1941), singer-songwriter/keyboardist Rick Davies (1944), actor Danny Glover (1946), actor/writer Albert Brooks (1947), singer-songwriter/drummer Don Henley (1947), author S. E. Hinton (1948), guitarist/composer Al Di Meola (1954), actor Willem Dafoe (1955), actor John Leguizamo (1964), actor David Spade (1964), NFL player Tim Brown (1966), NFL player Keyshawn Johnson (1972), singer-songwriter Rufus Wainwright (1973), NFL player Steven Jackson (1983), singer/actress Selena Gomez (1992), and NFL player Ezekiel Elliott (1995).

Alright, stopping there. I need a shower and another cup of coffee. Enjoy your day.