Random News: July 29, 2023

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

---

Good morning. It’s July 29, 2023, and it’s a Saturday. I was in a bathrobe but then I realized it’s a toasty summer day, so I swapped that for some shorts an a t-shirt, then got my coffee, and now I’m ready to see what’s happening in this weird and wonderful world…

• We should talk about poor Carlos De Oliveira. Who is he?
• On Thursday, poor Carlos became the third person charged with federal felonies in relation to alleged efforts by former President Donald Trump to keep classified information after leaving office and impede an investigation.
• The other two are Trump himself and his toady, Waltine Nauta.
• De Oliveira is identified in the indictment as a property manager at Mar-a-Lago. He’s a maintenance guy, doing odd jobs around the facility. He’s not in any way part of Trump’s inner circle. He’s definitely not been privy to internal deliberations or high-level conversations.
• He’s a 56-year-old man who lives in an apartment in a middle class townhome community in Palm Beach Gardens, FL who’s been a fix-it guy at Mar-a-Lago for 20 years. You’d call him if a toilet was clogged or if a sprinkler wasn’t working. That guy.
• The superseding indictment claims De Oliveira helped move boxes containing classified information for Trump, and requested an employee to delete Mar-a-Lago security camera footage to prevent it from being turned over to a federal grand jury.
• The DOJ claim is that the day after Trump got his subpoena on June 24, 2022, Nauta and De Oliveira went to the security guard booth where surveillance video is displayed on monitors and pointed out surveillance cameras.
• A couple of days later, De Oliveira took another Trump employee to a small room known as an "audio closet," and asked the employee how many days the server retained security footage. It’s said that employee is Mar-a-Lago I.T. guy Yuscil Taveras.
• The indictment says that De Oliveira told Taveras that "'the boss' wanted the server deleted.” Taveras responded that he would not know how to do that, and that he did not believe that he would have the right to do that. Good for him.
• When federal investigators spoke with De Oliveira in January, De Oliveira told the FBI he was not part of a group that helped unload and move boxes at the end of Trump's presidency. He also was asked whether he was aware that boxes were being moved, and said that he "never saw anything.”
• So, poor Carlos seems like a patsy here. His boss (or more like his boss’s boss’s boss) told him to tell someone else to do something highly illegal. And now, prosecutors know that De Oliveira's statements were false, because they have evidence that De Oliveira had personally observed and helped move Trump's boxes when they arrived at Mar-a-Lago in January 2021.
• A source is saying that De Oliveria’s family was pretty certain that he did not realize the consequences of what Trump was telling him to do when he asked him to delete the security footage, and that given his lack of money, De Oliveria was probably just doing anything that Trump told him to do.
• Will a poor idiot like De Oliveira go to jail for the rest of his life to help save this piece of shit who would otherwise have never had anything to do with him?
• Well, according to the indictment, Trump called De Oliveira “and told De Oliveira that Trump would get De Oliveira an attorney.” Jesus H. Christ.
• Anyway, that’s Carlos.
• I know that with all the various things going on with Trump’s criminal accusations, it’s easy to get confused. I can unconfuse you in four bullets.
• He is currently under federal indictment in the case ‘United States of America v. Donald J. Trump, Waltine Nauta, and Carlos De Oliveira’, the one I was speaking about above. That indictment brings 40 felony counts against Trump related to his alleged mishandling of classified documents after his presidency. That’s being tried in the state of Florida, where Trump’s alleged crime took place.
• A completely different federal investigation — but also run by special counsel Jack Smith — is in regard to Trump’s attempts to subvert the results of the 2020 election, including his role in the failed coup attempt at the Capitol on January 6, 2021. Trump said on July 18 that he’d received a target letter, meaning that an indictment is likely imminent. It’s unknown what the specific charges are until the indictment is made public, but are likely also felony-level crimes. That case will be tried in Washington D.C.
• There are also two state-based criminal investigations of Trump The first is in New York, where falsifying business records is a misdemeanor, but it becomes a felony if the defendant falsified the records with the intent of furthering a separate underlying crime. Prosecutors will argue that the payoffs to sex worker Stormy Daniels constituted an illegal contribution to Trump’s campaign — a violation of state and/or federal election law that Trump furthered by falsifying his company’s records. He’s currently charged with 34 felony counts in that case.
• And finally, for now, in December/January 2020/21, Trump sought to overturn the result of the presidential election in the state of Georgia. On January 2, 2021, Trump called Georgia’s secretary of state Brad Raffensperger and urged him to “find” 11,780 votes. Fulton County District Attorney Fani Willis is leading the investigation. Possible felony charges include conspiracy to commit election fraud, racketeer influenced and corrupt organizations (RICO), and more.
• Why all the news of the Creamsicle Criminal today? Because I am pretty sure that the next set of indictments — those for the Jan 6 crimes — are coming early next week.
• So that’s it. Now you know everything. I thought you might enjoy a full update. Let’s talk about something else.
• Yesterday, the United States announced $345 million in military aid for Taiwan. The White House said the package would include defense, education and training for the Taiwanese. 
• The goals are to help Taiwan counter China and to deter China from considering attacking, by providing Taipei enough weaponry that it would make the price of invasion too high.
• For those who don’t follow geopolitics or history: Taiwan’s official name is the Republic of China. The country you call China, the People’s Republic of China, claims it owns Taiwan.
• It’s a long story (literally… it goes back thousands of years).
• In very much related news, the US announced today it will expand its military industrial base by helping Australia manufacture guided missiles and rockets for both countries within two years. Agani, this defense cooperation is meant to counter China’s growing influence in the Indo-Pacific.
• This is part of a trilateral partnership that will see Britain provide Australia with a fleet of eight submarines powered by U.S. nuclear technology.
• Imagine if we took all that war machine money and used it to improve people’s lives instead of dividing and destroying each other. Ah well.
• Moving on…
• A Colorado police officer who put a handcuffed suspect in a patrol SUV that was then hit by a train near Denver last year was found guilty of two misdemeanors Friday. Misdemeanors? What the fuck?
• Officer Jordan Steinke was convicted of reckless endangerment and third-degree assault, but acquitted of a felony charge of criminal attempt to commit manslaughter. That’s bullshit.
• Steinke arrested Yareni Rios-Gonzalez in a road rage case. She cuffed her, put her in a cruiser, and parked in the middle of a railroad crossing, then got out and left her there to be hit by a train.
• Dashcams and body cams showed Rios screaming for help as the train approaches and strikes the vehicle. Rios suffered nine broken ribs, a broken arm, broken teeth, and a punctured lung in addition to other injuries.
• Officer Steinke will be sentenced in September. She’ll probably serve no time for this “misdemeanor”.
• In other, possibly even sadder news…
• The largest school district in Texas announced its libraries will be eliminated and replaced with discipline centers in the new school year. Librarian and media-specialist positions in 28 schools will be eliminated as part of superintendent Mike Miles’s “new education system” initiative.
• Teachers at these schools will soon have the option to send misbehaving students to these discipline centers.
• I’m not kidding. This isn’t some joke or some kind of dystopian horror movie. This is real.
• Let’s do some better news…
• Starting Tuesday, Minnesotans will be able to legally possess and grow their own marijuana for recreational purposes. Most legal retail sales likely won't begin until early 2025, while the state creates and implements a licensing and regulatory system for the new industry.
• Minnesota is the 23rd state to legalize recreational marijuana. As someone who’s lived in a non-prohibition state for years, I can tell you… it’s not that big of a deal. When I was a teenager, I envisioned a world of legal weed to resemble a giant parking lot of a Grateful Dead show.
• No. It’s more like you can buy weed at a place that looks like an Apple Store instead of from some guy in a poncho named Tim who you meet behind the McDonalds.
• Don’t do anything with weed that you wouldn’t do with alcohol, like consume it in public, use it while operating vehicles or machinery, or have it around children.
• And now, The Weather: “Pool” by Far Caspian
• Speaking of weather, July 2023 is going to end up being the hottest month globally on record and likely the warmest human civilization has seen.
• Earth’s temperature has passed over a key warming threshold: the internationally accepted goal of limiting global warming to 1.5 degree Celsius (2.7 degrees Fahrenheit).
• Oh well. It was good for awhile, being on this nice planet and being people.
• Moving on…
• Yesterday, President Joe Biden publicly acknowledged a daughter of his son Hunter for the first time.
• “Our son Hunter and Navy’s mother, Lunden, are working together to foster a relationship that is in the best interests of their daughter, preserving her privacy as much as possible going forward,” Biden said in a statement.
• I don’t give a shit about people’s family situations that don’t affect me. A whole lot of people have family members who have kids out of wedlock, who use drugs, and do stupid things.
• Frankly, Hunter Biden seems like a trashy piece of shit. He’s about the same age as me, and I’ve known plenty of dudes like him. Overprivileged, lacking morals, exhibiting few redeeming qualities that I can see.
• But what he does has nothing to do with me. He’s not a public servant nor a candidate for office. He’s just some fucking guy.
• In “Crime Doesn’t Pay” news, I saw a piece of body cam footage that cracked me up.
• On Wednesday, Tristan Heidi, 27, broke into an Ohio bank at 2am, intending on robbing it. Cops got a silent alarm and went to investigate. They saw an access door in the drive-thru area’s roof swing open.
• Just as Heidi gingerly lowers himself down, cops scream and rush him, Heidi panics, and falls directly into a giant trash bin, saying “AW FUCK!” as he docilely surrenders. He’s charged with breaking and entering and possession of criminal tools and safecracking.
• From the Sports Desk… NFL training camps officially opened this week. Teams have cut their rosters to 90 men, eventually having to pare down to the final goal of a 53-man roster.
• With the season’s prep officially underway for a couple of days, has anything happened yet? Of course. Aaron Rogers voluntarily reduced his salary by about $35 million over the next two seasons, Joe Burrow suffered a non-contact calf injury almost immediately, Justin Herbert became the highest-paid player in NFL history, and a Vikings rookie was cited for driving 85 mph over the speed limit.
• Welcome back, NFL.
• Today in history… The Neo-Babylonian Empire sacks Jerusalem and destroys the First Temple (587 BC). The Siege of Damascus ends in a decisive crusader defeat and leads to the disintegration of the Second Crusade (1148). Mary, Queen of Scots marries Henry Stuart (1565). The US Army Judge Advocate General’s Corps is founded when General George Washington appoints William Tudor as Judge Advocate of the Continental Army  (1775). The Arc de Triomphe is inaugurated in Paris (1836). United States and Japan sign the Harris Treaty (1858). Confederate spy Belle Boyd is arrested (1864). Land lottery begins in Oklahoma (1901). Robert Baden-Powell hosts the first Scout camp (1907). Adolf Hitler is named head of the Nazi Party (1921). After a hiatus of 12 years caused by World War II, the Summer Olympics open in London (1948). The International Atomic Energy Agency is established (1957). The Tonight Show with Jack Paar begins, starting the modern dat talk show (1957). Eisenhower signs the National Aeronautics and Space act, founding NASA (1958). David “Son of Sam” Berkowitz kills his first victim (1976). 700 million people watch the wedding of Charles and Diana (1981). British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher and President of France François Mitterrand sign the agreement to build a tunnel under the English Channel (1987). Astronomer discover the dwarf planet Eris (2005). The International Space Station temporarily spins out of control (2021).
• July 29 is the birthday of organist/composer Johann Theile (1646), historian/philosopher Alexis de Tocqueville (1805), fascist politician Benito Mussolini (1883), gynecologist Bernhard Zondek (1891), businessman J.R.D. Tata (1904), actress Clara Bow (1905), businessman Jim Marshall (1923), wrestler Lou Albano (1933), politician Elizabeth Dole (1936), journalist Peter Jennings (1938), actor David Warner (1941), actor Tony Sirico (1942), keyboardist/songwriter Neal Doughty (1946), filmmaker Ken Burns (1953), singer-songwriter/musician Geddy Lee (1953), singer-songwriter Martina McBride (1966), actor Will Wheaton (1972), and NFL player Dan Prescott (1993).

Time for more coffee. Enjoy your day.