Random News: March 13, 2024

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s March 13, 2024, and it’s a Wednesday. Later today, I have the final round of my dental hell, and while I’m dreading it like any normal human being, I’m also excited that it will be done for a good long while. Meanwhile, once again we have a ton of news to talk about and limited time in which to do it, so with no further delay…

• After yesterday’s primaries in states including Georgia, Washington, and others, we have an official 2024 presidential matchup within our seemingly unavoidable two-party political system
• First, President Biden clinched the 1,968 delegates needed to earn the Democratic presidential nomination. Later in the evening, Dumpelstiltskin passed the 1,215 delegates to officially become the GOP nominee.
• This matchup was a foregone conclusion we’ve known for months if not longer. It sets up the first US presidential rematch since 70 years ago, when Dwight D. Eisenhower faced Adlai Stevenson in 1952 and 1956 (and won both times).
• Only one person in US history, Grover Cleveland, served two non-consecutive terms, like Dumpy is attempting now. Others, including Ulysses S. Grant, Teddy Roosevelt, Millard Fillmore, and Martin Van Buren, tried and failed.
• I’ve heard people ask whether these two elderly men are the best we’ve got. It’s far too complicated to answer with a simple yes or no. I will say this.
• Now that we know beyond all doubt that one of those two men — assuming they are alive and well in November, and able to carry out the duties of the office — will be president again, I do recommend that you take a close look into your heart and determine which one has the values that best represent the type of person you are.
• I’d also say you should objectively look at what both men did for the USA during their respective presidential terms, including the challenges they faced and how they reacted.
• Then make your choice and cast your vote this fall.
• Moving on. There are tons of other important news.
• Yesterday, the Biden administration announced another package of military aid to Ukraine worth up to $300 million. The new funding became available as a results of savings made in weapons contracts.
• Well done. The President reminded people that the package is “not nearly enough,” and Congress needs to pass additional funding, because Putin will not stop at Ukraine and will try and take over Poland and then all of Western Europe.
• He’s right. Moving on.
• Rep. Ken Buck (R-CO) surprised the fuck out of the political world yesterday when he announced that he will leave the House on March 22. Yeah, like in just over a week.
• Buck’s decision will leave Republicans with only 218 seats in the chamber, compared to Democrats' 213. Republicans can still only afford to lose two votes on any bill with united Democratic opposition, assuming full attendance.
• When did Speaker Mike Johnson find out about Buck's departure plans? Oh, at the same time as everyone else, when Buck announced it. Buck later said he’d called Johnson about 30 minutes before the announcement went live and left a voicemail. 
• That’s cold, man. Johnson was completely blindsided. So sad, too bad.
• When asked about his colleagues’ reaction to his sudden resignation, Buck made a cryptic statement about what will come afterwards. He replied, "I think it's the next three people that leave that they're going to be worried about."
• My goodness.
• The extra great part of this: Buck is leaving Colorado’s 4th congressional district where Lauren Boebert is trying to run for his former seat. Now they’re going to have to hold a special election in June, and BoBo won’t even be on that ballot.
• Meaning it will be even harder for her to win in the fall, assuming she was even able to win the primary.
• Moving on.
• Yesterday, the Supreme Court extended a temporary freeze on the enforcement of Texas’ fucked up “Show Us Your Papers” immigration law — SB 4 — that allows state law enforcement to detain and arrest anyone they even suspect of entering the country illegally.
• Without action from the high court, the Texas law would have gone into effect today. It’s now paused through at least Monday while they review it.
• Here’s hoping.
• And speaking of bad legal takes…
• I want to be sure you’re aware that on Monday, El Dumpo said that one of his first acts as president if he wins in November would be to free those charged and convicted of crimes related to the January 6 failed coup attempt at the U.S. Capitol.
• That’s right. The ones who assaulted cops, who vandalized the center of our government, who smeared their own shit on the walls. Who threatened elected members of our government with assault and rape and execution.
• Dump will free them all from receiving any punishment for their crimes. Do not allow this smelly fuck to make a mockery of our laws and our entire system of justice. Do not elect him.
• Let’s talk a bit about former special counsel Robert Hur, who appeared before Congress yesterday to explain his investigation into President Biden’s handling of classified documents.
• I have less to say about this than you might assume. Hur got slammed from both sides. The Democrats were angry that he added editorial-like opinions to his findings. Republicans were mad at Hur’s decision not to prosecute the president.
• What it really came down to was that Hur found plenty of exculpatory evidence that led him to conclude that Biden’s actions weren’t illegal, and ultimately concluded that criminal charges weren’t warranted.
• Fine. Let’s move on.
• If I mention Aaron Rodgers, you may think I’m doing a sports story ahead of the sports section.
• Nope.
• He’s supposed to be the New York Jets' starting quarterback this year, but apparently has another job offer: that of vice president of the United States.
• The former NFL MVP is at the top of the list of potential running mates for third-party candidate and well-known anti-vaccine proponent Robert F. Kennedy Jr.
• I’m not making this up. RFK Jr. reported it to the New York Times, saying he’s been speaking "pretty continuously" with Rodgers over the past month, and the domain name "kennedyrodgers.com" was also registered last week.
• Hmm, let me think about how I feel about this.
• Hahahahahahahahahahahaha (deep breath)… hahahahahahahahaha…
• Moving on.
• As I’ve mentioned, March is Women’s History Month, and it’s time for our annual reminder that there remains a persistent wage gap between men and women who do the same jobs.
• Why mention this each year in mid-March? Because this is the point in a new year that women have to work to earn equal pay of what men made in 2023.
• Women working full time, year-round earn 84 cents for every dollar men make, inching up from 83.7 cents last year. But that amount falls to 78 cents when you include seasonal and part-time workers, who account for roughly a third of women in the U.S. workforce.
• For women of color, the pay gap is even bigger.
• It’s no longer a matter of differences in education or experience. Women with master's degrees earn 72 cents for every dollar earned by men with the same degree, and they earn less than men with bachelor's degrees. Women with associate's degrees earn less than men with only high school diplomas.
• Maybe someday this will be straightened out and made fair… but we keep talking about it and nothing changes.
• Let’s talk about something that can help all people, but with even more benefits for women: strength training.
• Research shows people who do weight training a few days a week live longer, but women get the biggest boost in longevity. Strength training is also good for mood, and it helps protect joints and bones.
• A study based on the habits of about 400,000 adults in the U.S., and researchers found people who did strength training 2 to 3 times a week had about a 20% reduced risk of premature death.
• And now you know one reason that despite never, ever wanting to workout every damn weekday morning, I do it anyway, and while I complain about it, I still highly recommend it for everyone.
• My workout — which I do from 8:00-8:45am Monday through Friday — isn’t difficult and provides both physical and mental health benefits. And it does not have to be difficult, especially when you’re starting out.
• And now, The Weather: “Do It Anyway” by Ford Chastain
• Let’s do a chart. It’s March 1978. I am in fourth grade. ‘Saturday Night Fever’ is completely dominating the music charts, but in between those songs are amazingly schlocky soft rock/easy listening/adult contemporary hits.
• 1. Night Fever (Bee Gees). 2. Stayin' Alive (Bee Gees). 3. Emotion (Samantha Sang). 4. Lay Down Sally (Eric Clapton). 5. (Love Is) Thicker Than Water (Andy Gibb). 6. Can't Smile Without You (Barry Manilow). 7. I Go Crazy (Paul Davis). 8. Sometimes When We Touch (Dan Hill). 9. Dance, Dance, Dance (Yowsah, Yowsah, Yowsah) (Chic). 10. Just The Way You Are (Billy Joel). 11. Thunder Island (Jay Ferguson). 12. The Name Of The Game (ABBA). 13. What's Your Name (Lynyrd Skynyrd). 14. If I Can't Have You (Yvonne Elliman). 15. Falling (LeBlanc & Carr). 16. Happy Anniversary (Little River Band). 17. (What A) Wonderful World (Art Garfunkel With James Taylor & Paul Simon). 18. Our Love (Natalie Cole). 19. Jack And Jill (Raydio). 20. The Way You Do The Things You Do (Rita Coolidge).
• From the Sports Desk… wouldn’t it be more fun if the NFL didn’t announce free-agency trades and draft picks, and you only got to see who was on your team when they ran out of the tunnel?
• More from trade mania: Saints QB Jameis Winston to the Browns. Titans RB Derrick Henry to the Ravens. Packers RB Aaron Jones to the Vikings. Bengals RB Joe Mixon to the Texans. Seahawks QB Drew Lock to the Giants. Vikings DE/OLB Danielle Hunter to the Texans. And many more.
• Today in history… Harvard College is named after clergyman John Harvard (1639). Felix Mendelssohn's Violin Concerto receives its premiere performance in Leipzig with Ferdinand David as soloist (1845). The Act Prohibiting the Return of Slaves is passed by the United States Congress, effectively annulling the Fugitive Slave Act of 1850 and setting the stage for the Emancipation Proclamation (1862). Apollo 9 returns safely to Earth after testing the Lunar Module (1969). The 2013 papal conclave elects Pope Francis as the 266th Pope of the Catholic Church (2013). President Donald Trump declares the COVID-19 pandemic to be a national emergency in the United States (2020). Breonna Taylor is killed by police officers who were forcibly entering her home in Louisville, KY (2020).
• March 13 is the birthday of UK prime minister Charles Grey (1764), US first lady Abigail Fillmore (1798), astronomer Percival Lowell (1855), physicist John Hasbrouck Van Vleck (1899), publisher/philanthropist Walter Annenberg (1908), science fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard (1911), cartoonist Al Jaffee (1921), singer-songwriter Neil Sedaka (1939), actor William H. Macy (1950), actress/guitarist Charo (1951), bass player Adam Clayton (1960), actor/rapist Danny Masterson (1976), and rapper Jack Harlow (1998).

So, that’s it for now. As I said up top, gonna get this dental shit over and done with. Today’s procedure is not anything any sane person looks forward to — one more root canal — but it is tiny compared tot he stuff I’ve already been through. I’ll be fine. Enjoy your day.