Random News: September 28, 2024

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s September 14, 2024, and it’s a Saturday. It’s overcast, I’ve got a big cup of coffee, and I’m in a bathrobe. Seems like a good time to see what’s going on in the world.

• Let’s understandably start with some follow-up news from the devastation of Hurricane/Tropical Storm Helene.
• Emergency crews have rushed to rescue people trapped in flooded homes for the past 36 hours after Helene roared ashore as a powerful Category 4 hurricane in Florida.
• At least 52 people were reported dead in four states, including at least 19 people in South Carolina. State officials say dozens were still trapped in homes last night after being severely damaged by Helene.
• The death tool will definitely be rising. It’s all pretty horrible.
• More than four million homes and businesses are still without power across the eastern U.S.
• This is in no way politicizing a horrible tragedy that is still ongoing, but I hope that all of you understand that these more frequent and intense storms are 100% attributable to mankind-assisted global climate change.
• Climate change is also causing hurricanes to produce more rainfall than they used to just a few decades ago.
• Here’s wishing luck to my many friends who live in the 10 states impacted by Helene, with hopes that your homes and families are intact.
• Last night, Vice President Harris said, “I want to say a few words about Hurricane Helene. We have mobilized more than 1,500 federal personnel to support communities that have been impacted. We have food, water, and generators that are ready for deployment and we are working to restore power for millions of people who currently are experiencing outages.”
• And President Biden has approved almost $1 billion in FEMA relief for Florida alone.
• And now I will politicize this.
• Donnie Dump’s Project 2025 would gut both the NOAA and National Weather Service, among many other agencies that help Americans.
• If Dump is elected, these and other crucial services that help people prepare for and recover from devastating natural disasters like Helene will have their independence from the executive branch undermined, and many of its internal departments will be eliminated.
• The remainder of your life will include events like record-setting hurricanes, heat waves, and other extreme weather events. Dump and his Project 2025 will make these unavoidable events much more difficult to live through for you and your family.
• Let’s move on.
• In my daily reminder to PLEASE CHECK YOUR FUCKING VOTER STATUS by visiting vote.org, some pertinent news.
• North Carolina recently removed 747,000 voters from the voter rolls, either because they had new addresses or because they had not voted in last two elections.
• There are only 7.3 million registered voters in the entire state. That means they purged over 10% of their entire voter rolls. So check your status right now now matter where you live, and especially if you live in NC.
• There is still time to re-register there so you have the opportunity to vote in this critical election. Check your status right now.
• And in related news, the Justice Department sued Alabama yesterday for removing allegedly ineligible voters from its rolls. The process comes too close to the upcoming election, per the suit.
• The National Voter Registration Act prevents states from removing voters from the active rolls less than 90 days before an election to prevent last-minute mistakes.
• Screw you, Alabama. You could have done this any time, but you purposefully waited until these people would have little chance of being re-added due to your errors.
• In other news…
• Yesterday, Vice President Harris made an aggressive move to cut into Dump’s polling lead on immigration, traveling to the southern border to lay out her plans to tackle what she described as a problem that has languished for decades.
• During her trip to the key swing state of Arizona, Harris lambasted Dump for his role earlier this year in tanking a border security bill that was the product of months of bipartisan negotiations.
• She used her past experience as California’s attorney general to prove that she has what it takes to attack Dump on his signature issue.
• When she was our state’s AG, Harris prosecuted members of transnational criminal organizations, and travelled to Mexico City with other attorneys general to share intelligence on gangs and cartels.
• She stated, “Stopping transnational criminal organizations and strengthening our border is not new to me, and it is a long-standing priority of mine. I have done that work, and I will continue to treat it as a priority.”
• Some other news on the Harris campaign… and this speaks to something I’ve personal witnessed.
• The guys (and let’s face it, they’re almost all guys) who continue to support The Dumpster think they’re doing it in some macho way.
• But Dump isn’t macho. He’s a prissy New York fancy boy who shits on a literal gold toilet and has never worked a day in his life. Ever seen Dump throw a football? Drive a car?
• Has he ever in his life put himself at risk to support and provide for his family?
• I believe that most of Dump’s male supporters are guys who had no strong male role model in their lives, and that they’re looking toward Dump to being a father figure who will give them the sweet manly love they missed growing up.
• The real men — those who support Kamala Harris — are those who are willing to step up and fight for their families.
• Anyway, a new block of endorsements came in this week via "Athletes for Harris,” and the effort is designed to mobilize athletes and coaches in the final weeks of the campaign
• The 10 co-chairs leading the effort are: Hall of Famer Magic Johnson; tennis great Billie Jean King; Golden State Warriors coach Steve Kerr; two-time World Cup champion Ali Krieger; WNBA champion and Olympic gold medalist Candace Parker; Milwaukee Bucks coach Doc Rivers; South Carolina coach Dawn Staley; Paralympic swimmer Ali Truwit; NBA all-star Chris Paul; and Philadelphia Eagles defensive lineman Thomas Booker.
• Harris also recently got the backing of 15 Pro Football Hall of Famers: Mel Blount, Emmitt Smith, Kellen Winslow, Andre Tippett, Marv Levy, Alan Page, Drew Pearson, Kenny Houston, Jan Stenerud, Calvin Johnson, Robert Brazile, Willie Roaf, Mike Haynes, Elvin Bethea, and Ron Mix.
• If you’re worried that supporting a woman candidate somehow makes you less of a man, I’ll tell you right now, it’s the exact opposite.
• Supporting Donnie Dump makes you a fucking weakling with daddy issues who will be laughed at. And let me tell you, we are and have been laughing at your pussy ass. Instead, be strong, be a fucking man, and vote for Harris.
• Moving on.
• This coming Tuesday October 1 is the third debate event of the general election… and the first between the VP candidates Tim Walz and JD Vance.
• And this debate will not be like the previous two. While the event will be moderated by the outgoing “CBS Evening News” anchor Norah O’Donnell and “Face the Nation” host Margaret Brennan, it will be up to the politicians — not the moderators — to check the facts of their opponents.
• There will be no opening statements or live studio audience, similar to the debate earlier this month between Dump and Harris, and the candidates will get two breaks, each lasting four minutes, over the 90-minute debate.
• The candidates will have two minutes to answer each question. Then, two minutes will be given to their counterpart to push back. After that, the VP hopefuls will each get one minute for rebuttals. 
• Microphones can be muted if the network decides, but unlike the other debates, otherwise they will be hot.
• Make sure to watch what Tim Walz has to say to JD live on Tuesday night starting at 9pm ET.
• What has li’l JD been up to anyway? Haven’t heard much form him since he fucked his bosses campaign by talking about people eating dogs and cats.
• Oh wait, now I see.
• JD is participating in a town hall in Pennsylvania today with evangelical religious leader Lance Wallnau, who said after this month's presidential debate that Vice President Kamala Harris used “witchcraft" to beat Dump’s ass.
• Seriously. I’m not making any of this up.
• By the way, Wallnau is the guy pushing the Seven Mountains Mandate — a far-right belief that says conservative Christians are called to occupy positions of power in seven key spheres of society, including business, education, media, and government.
• Suck my dick, you evangelical grifters.
• In other election news…
• Yesterday, the U.S. Supreme Court allowed New York to block Robert F. Kennedy Jr. from the state’s 2024 general election ballot.
• Since RFK Jr. joined forces with Dumpy, their plan was to leave his name up in Blue states where he might siphon votes from Harris (like New York) while pulling his name in Red states where his inclusion could harm Dumples the Clown.
• But it’s not working very well.
• While RFK Jr.’s peons gathered more than 100,000 valid signatures to be added to the ballot, as a minor-party candidate, RFK Jr. was required to include his place of residence on the petition.
• And the candidate’s residence must be the “fixed, permanent and principal home” to which the candidate “always intends to return.”
• But instead of using his address here in Los Angeles where he lives, Kennedy used the address where he rents a room from a childhood friend in New York. He concedes he has stayed there overnight on only "one occasion.”
• Therefore… "The application for writ of injunction presented to Justice Sotomayor and by her referred to the Court is denied," the court said in a one-sentence order. There were no noted dissents.
• What a dumb ass.
• Let’s move on.
• I’m compelled to mention another recent capital punishment execution, this one bring Alan Eugene Miller, who was put to death by the state of Alabama on Tuesday night.
• I’m pretty sure Miller was a real murderous prick. This is nothing like our discussion of Marcellus Williams in Missouri a few days ago, a man who very well may have been exonerated by DNA evidence and was killed anyway.
• Conversely, in 1999, Miller murdered his coworkers Lee Holdbrooks, Scott Yancy, and Terry Lee Jarvis in cold blood after he believed the three “spread rumors about him.”
• It’s not Miller’s guilt that concerns me. It’s his method of execution. Don’t read the rest of you’re squeamish.
• He was killed via nitrogen hypoxia execution, which replaces oxygen breathed by an inmate with 100% nitrogen. Opponents like the ACLU call it a torturous method of killing people used by Nazis during the Holocaust.
• Miller took over six minutes to die, struggling against his restraints and gulping for breaths until the end. Doctors have said that they could not pinpoint if or when a person will lose consciousness when exposed to high concentrations of nitrogen gas.
• I do support justice, and equal justice for all. I can’t ethically support capital punishment at all, and especially a type that could be a horrifying and lengthy way to die, no matter what crime has been committed.
• Back in politics for a moment…
• North Carolina Lt. Gov. and self-described Black Nazi Mark Robinson was treated for second-degree burns following an incident at a campaign event last night.
• He’s fine. He burned his hand at a truck show. Seems like a weird way to grab sympathy, but whatever. Hopefully it’s not the hand he uses while enjoying transgender porn.
• North Carolina, after you recover from the hurricane, please vote for Josh Stein for Governor of your fine state.
• And now, The Weather: “Problems” by Being Dead
• From the Sports Desk… MLB playoffs are moments away from being set in stone. There are still a few teams who may or may not make a Wild Card spot, and we’ll know by tomorrow who is whom.
• If the playoffs started today…
• American League: Wild Card round — (6) Royals* at (3) Astros*, (5) Tigers* at (4) Orioles*. ALDS: Royals/Astros vs. (2) Guardians*, Tigers/Orioles vs. (1) Yankees*
• National League: Wild Card round: (6) Mets at (3) Brewers*, (5) Braves at (4) Padres*. NLDS: Mets/Brewers vs. (2) Phillies*, Braves/Padres vs. (1) Dodgers*
• The teams marked with an asterisk have already clinched a playoff spot.
• Today in history… Pompey arrives in Egypt and is assassinated by order of King Ptolemy XIII (48 BC). King James I of Aragon — my 25th great-grandfather — conquers Valencia from the Moors (1238). Juan Rodríguez Cabrillo of Portugal arrives at what is now San Diego, California, becoming the first European in California (1542). The Congress of the Confederation votes to send the newly written United States Constitution to the state legislatures for approval (1787). The Declaration of Independence of the Mexican Empire is drafted, and will be made public on 13 October (1821). The Brazilian Parliament passes a law that frees all children thereafter born to slaves, and all government-owned slaves (1871). Race riots begin in Omaha, Nebraska (1919). Alexander Fleming notices a bacteria-killing mold growing in his laboratory, discovering what later became known as penicillin (1928). Ted Williams achieves a .406 batting average for the season, and becomes the last major league baseball player to bat .400 or better (1941). CBS makes the first color televisions available for sale to the general public, but the product is discontinued less than a month later (1951). Falcon 1 becomes the first privately developed liquid-fuel ground-launched vehicle to put a payload into orbit (2008). Protests begin in Hong Kong in response to restrictive political reforms imposed by the NPC in Beijing (2014).
• September 28 is the birthday of philosopher Confucius (551 BC), plumber/inventor Thomas Crapper (1836), broadcaster/CBS founder William S. Paley (1901), TV host Ed Sullivan (1901), singer/refugee Maria Franziska von Trapp (1914), spy Ethel Rosenberg (1915), poet/singer Tuli Kupferberg (1923), actor/singer Marcello Mastroianni (1924), singer Koko Taylor (1928), actress Brigitte Bardot (1934), guitarist/inventor Emmett Chapman (1936), singer-songwriter Ben E. King (1938), NFL player/politician Steve Largent (1954), guitarist/songwriter George Lynch (1954), pianist Kenny Kirkland (1955), NHL player Grant Fuhr (1962), comedian Janeane Garofalo (1964), actress Mira Sorvino (1967), model Dita Von Teese (1972), NBA player Bonzi Wells (1976), rapper Young Jeezy (1977), singer-songwriter/guitarist St. Vincent (1982), and singer-songwriter Hilary Duff (1987).

That’s not all the news, but it’s enough of the news. I’m going to shower and dress and eat breakfast and do other things to be determined. Enjoy your day.