Random News: July 28, 2025

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s July 28, 2025, and it’s a Monday. I have a busy week ahead, but for better than usual reasons that I will make clear at some point soon. In the meantime, I have a week’s worth of work to clear out of the way in the next three days. As I said, it’s going to be busy. Let’s get this news rolling.

• Dumpy the Pedo Clown is increasingly frustrated with how his administration’s handling of the furor around the Jeffrey Epstein files has dominated the news.
• Dump’s feeling of anger and woe follows weeks of missteps and no clear strategy among top officials who underestimated the outrage, especially from Dumpy’s own base.
• He’d actually thought that the country would forget about the unreleased Epstein files and move on.
• And, knowing the Dumpster, he’s going to want to make some changes. He probably already would have, but people like Attorney General Pam Bondi, FBI Director Kash Patel, and Deputy Director Dan Bongino already know what’s actually in those files.
• Dump can’t just fire them without some fear that they’ll spill the beans.
• Every time they’ve tried to push it back under the rug, a new revelation appears. The pressure intensified last week after the Wall Street Journal reported that Bondi told Dump in a May Oval Office meeting with Patel that Dumpy’s name appears multiple times in the files. 
• Bondi continues to be the target of most of the MAGA ire, and she really brought that on herself.
• In Fox News interviews earlier this year, she said “truckloads” of new documents had been delivered to her office and that Epstein’s client list was “sitting on my desk right now for review.”
• She outright said to Fox’s Sean Hannity in early March, “Everything’s going to come out to the public. The public has a right to know. Americans have a right to know.”
• We agree. Where is it, Pam?
• Shortly thereafter, the FBI put 1,000 personnel on the job to scour more than 100,000 pages of Epstein-related documents. They were told to flag any mentions of Dump and other prominent figures.
• So who knows what’s next? Dump — as we’ve mentioned many times — will say or do anything to make sure he saves his own ass. He will throw any other person to the wolves as long as he never faces repercussions for his crimes.
• A little update: Dump, at a press conference in Europe today, said he “never had the privilege of going to Epstein Island.” Jesus dude, really?
• For now, let’s move on.
• While I distrust his motives, this morning Dump said that he disagrees with Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu's claim that there is no starvation in Gaza.
• What changed his mind? He saw it on TV.
• When asked if he agreed with Netanyahu, Dump replied, “Based on television, I would say not particularly because those children look very hungry. There is real starvation in Gaza — you can't fake that."
• Well, that’s a positive step. You have to understand… I don’t WANT Dump to be an idiot. I’d prefer he be a smart and empathetic guy like our other good presidents.
• To be clear: the humanitarian crisis in Gaza is worse than ever, and ceasefire talks once again broke down last week. if it keeps going as it has been, Israel will soon have successfully committed genocide on the entire population of Palestine.
• Dump and his top aides acknowledge both privately and publicly that their strategy in Gaza hasn't worked. But they haven't yet decided whether or how to change it.
• While Dump still doesn’t quite seem clear on differentiating Hamas and the people of Palestine — he’s not great at nuanced information — he also said today that the situation in Gaza "is a mess" and stressed that civilians "have to get food and safety right now."
• That is correct.
• Relevant side note: yesterday, Netanyahu is still claiming that "there is no starvation in Gaza."
• But independent agencies including the UN and others have been reporting a growing number of deaths from starvation-related causes in recent weeks.
• Especially in children.
• Moving on.
• As you may have heard over the weekend, Dumpy announced a trade agreement with the European Union that would set tariffs at 15%.
• The EU is the United States’ largest trade partner. And a tariff, I’ll remind you, is a tax on the American people. So you will be paying more for any item made in all of Europe.
• European Commission President Ursula von der Leyen said yesterday that the agreement “will bring stability. It will bring predictability. That’s very important for our businesses on both sides of the Atlantic.”
• Stability? Does she know that Dump will not hesitate to back out of any agreement at a moment’s notice? Anyway, it’s a nice thought.
• However, Dump said 50% tariffs on steel would remain unchanged and more tariffs could still be on the way for pharmaceutical products, which Ireland is one of the top sources of.
• Dump recently threatened 200% tariffs on pharma goods. Sigh.
• Let’s just move on.
• Another global political story coming in. Today Dumpy reduced the 50-day “deadline” for Russian President Vladimir Putin to either reach a peace deal with Ukraine to less than two weeks.
• Putin has made a fool of Dump, continuing to placate him and then turning around and wreaking more destruction on Ukraine.
• What happens if Putin tells Dump to go fuck himself? According to Dump, Russia will face massive “secondary tariffs” on Moscow’s trade partners.
• The 50-day deadline was ridiculous, and Putin just ramped up the attacks on the neighboring country as a result. But Dump said today the USA does not see any progress being made.
• Dumpy said, “I’m going to make a new deadline of about 10 or 12 days from today. I’m disappointed in President Putin. Russia and Ukraine — I would have said five times we had a deal. I spoke to President Putin a lot. Got along with him very well. Then President Putin launches rockets into a city like Kyiv and kills a lot of people — in a nursing home, or wherever — and there are bodies lying all over the streets.”
• Once again, if you want Dump to take action, show him something that’s “on TV.” That’s all it takes. he doesn’t listen or read, but if something is “on TV,” he might notice.
• In other news…
• It’s a good day for Democrats in the USA. Former North Carolina Gov. Roy Cooper is entering the state’s Senate race, a win for Democrats who hope the popular former governor will give them a strong chance in one of the most competitive races next year. 
• Cooper announced his intention this morning in a social media post that leaned into attracting middle-class voters. “It wasn’t always this hard,” he said in the video launching his bid.
• His decision comes after significant speculation that he would enter following his eight years as governor in the battleground state. He’ll be trying to win the seat being vacated by retiring Republican Sen. Thom Tillis, who announced last month that he wouldn’t seek another term in office. 
• Democrats were already hopeful about their chances of picking up the seat next year, as Tillis was seen as potentially vulnerable.
• Good stuff. More of that, please.
• In related news, Paul Dans — the chief architect of the evil Project 2025 — is launching a Republican primary challenge to Sen. Lindsey Graham in South Carolina.
• That will be fascinating to watch how Dump’s loyalty will play out between Dans and Graham. Can you imagine Dump screwing over Graham now after all those times Graham sucked his… perhaps I shouldn’t got there.
• Let’s move on.
• I’m sure we’ve previously discussed Ryan Walters, the super MAGA superintendent of schools in Oklahoma. He’s best known for mandating Bibles in every classroom of public schools.
• Now he’s known for something else.
• During an Oklahoma State Board of Education executive session on Thursday, board members saw naked women appear on a TV screen in his office.
• Becky Carson, a board member who attended the meeting, said she was "disturbed" by what she saw on TV.
• “I saw them just walking across the screen, and I’m like, ‘no.’ I’m sorry I even have to use this language, but I’m like, ‘Those are her nipples.’ And then I’m like, ‘That’s pubic hair.’… I was so disturbed by it… I was very stern, like I’d been a mother or a classroom teacher. And I said, ‘What am I watching? Turn it off now!’”
• I mean… nipples! Pubic hair! My god! Snort.
• Anyway, the state’s Senate has now launched a porn probe. Ha ha!
• Moving on again.
• It’s been a bit since we had an Asshole of the Day… at least one who wasn’t named Dumpy.
• At the moment, it’s 38-year-old Fort Pierce City, FL Commissioner James Taylor. He is facing two dozen felony charges after a mom in Illinois found that he’d been sending dick pics over Snapchat to her 12-year-old daughter.
• He was also asking the little girl to send him nudes in return. God knows how many other girls he did this with before he got caught.
• They arrested Taylor on Thursday. On Friday, he was charged with 6 counts of transmission of materials harmful to minors by electronic equipment; 6 counts of transfer or display of obscenity to a minor; 6 counts of harmful communication to a minor; 4 counts of lewd computer solicitation of a child; and 2 counts of solicitation of transmission of child pornography by electronic device or equipment.
• A quick search seems to show that Taylor is the 19th MAGA Republican who’s been arrested in 2025 for child sex crimes.
• All of them are loudly anti-woke, and many claim to be Christian.
• And now, The Weather: “Cold Heart” by Nilüfer Yanya
• RIP going out to musician, singer-songwriter, satirist, and mathematician Tom Lehrer, who died on Saturday at age 97.
• A pioneer of musical black comedy starting in the 1950s, Lehrer’s influence reverberated for decades, blazing a trail for such musical satirists and comics as Randy Newman to “Weird Al” Yankovic, Harry Shearer to Jack Black.
• Was this guy smart? He entered Harvard College at the age of 15 and graduated magna cum laude in 1946. A funny quote: “I don’t like people to get the idea that I have to do this for a living. I mean, it isn’t as though I had to do this. I could be making, oh, $3,000 a year just teaching.”
• From the Sports Desk… congrats to Tadej Pogacar, who claimed his fourth Tour de France title yesterday, joining Britain's Chris Froome on the all-time winners' list.
• The 26-year-old Slovenian had previously triumphed in 2020, 2021, and 2024. He seems pretty much unstoppable.
• Two-time Tour champion Jonas Vinegaard of Denmark finished the overall race 4 minutes, 24 seconds behind Pogačar in second place. Florian Lipowitz of Germany, making his Tour debut, was 11 minutes back in third.
• Okay, so that’s done.
• In more Sports Desk news… yesterday, Bubba Wallace became the first Black driver to win on Indianapolis Motor Speedway's 2.5-mile oval, winning the Brickyard 400.
• The third NASCAR Cup victory of Wallace's career was also his biggest. It snapped a 100-race winless streak that dated to 2022 at Kansas. He also won at Talladega in 2021. It's his first win at one of NASCAR's four crown jewel races.
• Congrats to him.
• In yet more Sports Desk news, last night was the 2025 induction ceremony for the Baseball Hall of Fame. The newest members are all well-deserved: outfielder Ichiro Suzuki, starting pitcher CC Sabathia, and closer Billy Wagner.
• Ichiro is the first Japanese-born player to be inducted into the National Baseball Hall of Fame. I read the funniest Ichiro story recently.
• Mike Sweeney, who played for the Royals, had a game against Ichiro and the Mariners. It wasn’t well known how good Ichiro’s English skills were when he debuted as an MLB rookie after years of being a star in Japan.
• So after Ichito leads off the game with a screaming line drive to left-center field for a base hit, Sweeney pats him on the back and said the most basic thing possible: “Ichiro, nice batting.”
• And Ichiro — who’s never met Sweeney before this moment — replies, “Mike Sweeney, nice ass,” in perfect English with no accent at all.
• Another thing that blows me away about about that guy? Ichiro was one of the most athletically gifted people ever to play pro baseball… and he’s 5’11” and 170 pounds, which is to the very inch and pound the identical size as me. Huge ability from a not-huge dude.
• Today in history… Henry VIII marries his fifth wife, Catherine Howard (1540). Maximilien Robespierre is executed by guillotine in Paris (1794). Confederate troops make a third unsuccessful attempt to drive Union forces from Atlanta, GA at the Battle of Ezra Church (1864). The 14th Amendment to the United States Constitution is certified, establishing African American citizenship and guaranteeing due process of law (1868). The city of Miami, FL is incorporated (1896). The US occupies Haiti and stays for 19 years (1915). Lyndon B. Johnson increases US troops in Vietnam from 75,000 to. 125,000 (1965). 600,000 people go see bands rock at Watkins Glen Summer Jam (1973).  The Summer Olympics open in Los Angeles, CA (1984). The remains of a prehistoric man are discovered near Kennewick, Washington (1994).
• July 28 is the birthday of pianist/businessman Ignaz Bösendorfer (1796), writer/illustrator Beatrix Potter (1866), activist Lucy Burns (1879), painter/sculptor Marcel Duchamp (1887), actor/singer Rudy Vallée (1901), inventor/businessman Earl Tupper (1907), composer/conductor Carmen Dragon (1914), US first lady Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis (1929), singer/guitarist Junior Kimbrough (1930), guitarist Mike Bloomfield (1943), keyboardist Richard Wright (1943), cartoonist Jim Davis (1945), actress Sally Struthers (1947), guitarist/composer Gerald Casale (1948), Venezuela president Hugo Chávez (1954), guitarist/composer Steve Morse (1954), runner/activist Terry Fox (1958), NHL player Garth Snow (1969), NBA player Manu Ginóbili (1977), rapper Soulja Boy (1990), and MLB player Walker Buehler (1994).

Let’s get this news wrapped up so I can get to the other things that need doing. Let’s try and cumulatively kick some ass this week. Enjoy your day.