DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.
Good afternoon. It’s September 17, 2022, and it’s a Saturday. I’ve been being lazy as is my God-given right as an American on a Saturday, so let’s see what I see now that I’m less of a useless blob…
- I have fucking jury duty. I’m supposed to call in on Monday night. I thought I had submitted a valid excuse but the court seems to disagree.
- Side note: I have no problem doing my civic duty and I’m not complaining about that.
- But I am a sole entrepreneur with no employees, and my clients rely on me daily. Suddenly disappearing to serve on a jury represents a very serious problem for my business.
- We’ll see how that goes.
- The top headlines continue to revolve around Ron DeSantis’s stunt in tricking legal asylum seekers into getting on a charter plane to be flown across state lines… and having spent $12 million of Florida taxpayer’s money to do so.
- Side note: since when did flying 50 people somewhere cost $12 million? That’s $240,000 per person. You ever pay $240,000 for a plane ticket? Me neither. I guess that’s what Radical Right Ron thinks is a good deal.
- Remember that idiot Matt Gaetz? Per a breaking news report, the Florida Republican congressman told a former White House aide that he was seeking a preemptive pardon from the former president regarding the Justice Department's sex trafficking probe, according to testimony provided to the Jan. 6 Committee.
- Aide Johnny McEntee said that Gaetz told him “he did not do anything wrong but they are trying to make his life hell, and you know, if the president could give him a pardon, that would be great.”
- “That would be great,” said Matt.
- Gaetz received no pardon and is still potentially facing felony charges for bringing teenage girls across state lines to pay them for sex. The payment records were made available via Venmo.
- In news that very few will find surprising, a growing number of Jan. 6 failed coup attempt defendants have been arrested again after their participation in the insurrection. Their subsequent crimes involve guns, drugs and domestic abuse.
- Shocking, I know.
- However, the bigger view shows that these new charges complicate their ability to secure lenient sentences in their cases related to Jan 6 coup, and they potentially jeopardize attempts by other insurrectionists to secure pretrial releases in their cases.
- Womp womp.
- Speaking of January 6, Anthony Robert Williams, one of the first assholes to enter the Capitol, was just sentenced to five years in prison.
- This genius not only spoke publicly about his plans before the failed coup, but then got extra brilliant and posted pics and videos of himself committing felonies during January 6 on Facebook a few days after.
- To date, more than 870 wannabe terrorists have been arrested in nearly all 50 states for crimes related to Jan 6. More than 265 of those have been charged with assaulting or impeding law enforcement.
- The investigation remains ongoing.
- And now, The Weather: “Seaside_Demo” by SEB.
- From the Sports Desk… again, keeping track of Albert Pujols’ amazing end to his legendary career. He hit home run #698 last night, bringing him ever closer to the rare 700 all-time mark that is only shared by Babe Ruth (714), Hank Aaron (755), and Barry Bonds* (whatever that was).
- Today in history… Louis the Great's daughter, Mary, is crowned "king" of Hungary (1382). The Invasion of Canada in the Revolutionary War begins with the Siege of Fort St. Jean (1775). The Presidio of San Francisco is founded in New Spain (1776). The United States Constitution is signed in Philadelphia (1787). American abolitionist Harriet Tubman escapes from slavery (1849). Battle of Antietam, the bloodiest day in American military history (1862). The Wright Flyer flown by Orville Wright, with Lieutenant Thomas Selfridge as passenger, crashes, killing Selfridge, who becomes the first airplane fatality in history (1908). Manfred von Richthofen ("The Red Baron"), a flying ace of the German Luftstreitkräfte, wins his first aerial combat near Cambrai, France (1916). The National Football League is organized as the American Professional Football Association in Canton, Ohio (1920). The Space Shuttle Enterprise is unveiled by NASA (1976). The Camp David Accords are signed by Israel and Egypt (1978). Vanessa Williams becomes the first black Miss America (1983). Estonia, North Korea, South Korea, Latvia, Lithuania, the Marshall Islands and Micronesia join the United Nations (1991). The first version of the Linux kernel (0.01) is released to the Internet (1991). The New York Stock Exchange reopens for trading after the September 11 attacks, the longest closure since the Great Depression (2001). Occupy Wall Street movement begins in Zuccotti Park, New York City (2011).
- September 17 is the birthday of SCOTUS Chief Justice John Rutledge (1739), gunman Billy the Kid (1859), poet William Carlos Williams (1883), businessman J. Willard Marriott (1900), SCOTUS Chief Justice Warren E. Burger (1907), singer-songwriter Hank Williams (1923), NFL great George Blanda (1927), actor Roddy McDowall (1928), racing driver Stirling Moss (1929), actress Anne Bancroft (1931), ancient politician who is still somehow a Senator Chuck Grassley (1933), novelist Ken Kesey (1935), SCOTUS justice David Souter (1939), legendary NBA coach Phil Jackson (1945), cartoonist Jeff MacNelly (2947), actor John Ritter (1948), comedian Rita Rudner (1953), director Baz Luhrmann (1962), musician Keith Flint (1969), NBA player Rasheed Wallace (1974), rapper Flo Rida (1979), and model Pixie Geldof (1990).
That’s all. Back to doing nothing, until I do something else. Enjoy your day.
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