Random News: September 24, 2022

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s September 24, 2022, and it’s a Saturday. Here are quite a lot of things…

• Something we could have predicted but is still awful… yesterday, a judge in Pima County, Arizona has revived a law from 1901 that immediately bans nearly all abortions in the state.
• The law was put in place over a decade before AZ became a state in 1912. It does not allow any exceptions for rape or incest.
• Radical Republicans in all 50 states are finding ways to speed up the process to remove women’s health care rights. Arizona is not a deeply conservative state; while it has a good-sized right-leaning populace, both of its current Senators are Democrats.
• It can happen anywhere. The only way to stop it is to elect a stronger Democrat majority in the House and Senate on November 8, and then codify abortion rights nationwide, which will supersede any locals laws.
• Please vote.
• Quick point in that regard: women outnumber men in the USA, and Democrats outnumber Republicans. There’s no reason this can’t be accomplished.
• Moving on.
• I’m including this just for the laughs. House Republicans led by Kevin McCarthy rolled out their official "Commitment to America” plan for 2023 with an inspirational video chock full of scenes presented as exceptional imagery of America
.
• Except there was one problem. The video was full of stock footage from Russia and Ukraine.
• I’m serious. The original footage has been found and they’re not denying it. How does that happen? God, they suck.
• Thinking good thoughts for the women of Iran. They are marching in the streets and burning their hijabs after a woman was beaten to death by the country’s morality police.
• Amazing bravery.
• Same with the Russians marching against the war. You have to understand, we can protest here in the USA with little or no repercussions. People in many other countries face everything from imprisonment to actual death for doing it.
• That is one reason we must continually exercise our freedom to assemble and express our views under the First Amendment. Like they say about many things… use it or lose it.
• A new poll from Marquette University shows that 67% of all Americans believe that Trump had classified documents, including 39% of Republicans.
• It’s probably time to stop wasting space in this column on a person who will never again have any real impact on this country, and yet I know that our collective sense of justice won’t be satisfied until he is punished for his crimes.
• So I will keep covering those developments. Think of it like a movie… you know you want to see the end of it.
• Hershel Walker, the former NFL running back who possibly could be suffering from longterm concussion-related brain damage and is running for Senator in GA, says if he was in the Senate right now and had to vote for Lindsey Graham’s national abortion ban, he would vote yes.
• Please vote for the incumbent, Reverend Raphael Warnock, instead. Thank you Georgians.
• Meet Doug Jensen of Iowa. Doug was one of the people who attempted a coup against the United States on January 6, 2021.
• Doug was the bearded guy in the beanie cap and QAnon shirt who pursued heroic Capital Police officer Eugene Goodman toward the Senate.
• I feel a bit sorry for Jensen only due to the fact that he’s so mind-bogglingly stupid, he says he thought he was storming the White House as opposed to the Capitol. Sigh.
• Doug opted for a trial and his jury, after deliberating for a very short few hours, found him guilty on all charges, including five felonies and two misdemeanors. So far, 100% of the insurrectionists who’ve gone to trial have been found guilty by juries of their peers.
• Speaking of Jan 6 pieces of shit, I don’t think I’ve mentioned J.R. Majewski.
• He’s a MAGA candidate running for a congressional seat in Ohio. He was also at the January 6 coup attempt.
• However, he has been claiming that he served in some super confidential military role in Afghanistan after 9/11. The AP reported this week that in reality, the Air Force vet was never in Afghanistan and instead spent six months loading planes at an air base in Qatar.
• No one likes stolen valor. So, House Republicans have now withdrawn their advertising money for this bullshit artist.
• One more January 6 note today.
• A federal judge in Arizona ruled this week that the House Select Committee can see the phone records of Arizona Republican Party Chairwoman Kelli Ward and her husband.
• The couple tried to say that because they are doctors, looking at their phones would violate medical privacy laws. Ha!
• Ward and her husband were just a few of the “fake electors” who entered bogus paperwork that then-President Trump had won the 2020 election in their states despite that being 100% untrue.
• Florida friends, you already know this and are familiar with it, but I’ll say it anyway… have a plan together to deal with tropical depression #9, which will likely become Hurricane Ian by the time it nails Florida in the next few days.
• And now, The Weather: “Jaywalker” by Andy Shauf.
• Some polls. Again, I encourage you to NOT rely of polling info. It can be drastically misleading. However, I share them so you’re aware that some races that you may not think are close… actually may be very close, in either direction.
• Florida Governor: Charlie Crist (D) 53% (+6), Ron DeSantis (R-Inc) 47% (Listener Group)
• Ohio Senate: Ryan (D) 48% (+3), Vance (R) 45% (Baldwin Wallace)
• Utah Senate: Mike Lee (R-inc) 36%, Evan McMullin (I) 34% (Dan Jones)
• Nevada Senate:Adam Laxalt (R) 46% (+3), Catherine Cortez Masto (D-inc) 43% (Insider Polling)
• Nevada Governor: Joe Lombardo (R) 45%, Steve Sisolak (D-inc) 45% (Data Progress)
• Pennsylvania Senate: Fetterman (D) 49% (+5), Oz (R) 44% (Muhlenbarg)
• Pennsylvania Governor: Shapiro (D) 53% (+11), Mastriano (R) 42% (Muhlenberg)
• Georgia Senate: Walker (R) 46%, Warnock (D-inc) 46% (Data Progress)
• Arizona Governor: Kari Lake (R) 51% (+4), Katie Hobbs (D) 47% (Data Progress)
• Arizona Senate: Mark Kelly (D-inc) 48% (+1), Blake Masters (R) 47% (Data Progress)
• Colorado Senate: Bennet (D-inc) 46% (+10), O'Dea (R) 36% (Emerson)
• Colorado Governor: Polis (D-inc) 53% (+17), Ganahl (R) 36% (Emerson)
• From the Sports Desk… last night, Albert Pujols hit his 699th and 700th career home run. Only three other players in the 150 years of MLB history have reached this mark: Babe Ruth (714), Hank Aaron (755), and the other guy (762). Huge congrats to Pujols for making history.
• The Sports Desk hates to keep harping on the fact that Brett Favre straight up knowingly (though his attorney claims ignorance) stole $5 million from a welfare fund that would have served starving children in Mississippi, and no one is giving a shit.
• But yeah, keep being mad about Colin Kaepernick taking a knee.
• I, the Sports Desk, want Favre in jail. Simple as that.
• Today in history… The Battle of Rowton Heath in England is a Parliamentarian victory over a Royalist army commanded in person by King Charles (1645). The United States Congress passes the Judiciary Act, creating the office of the Attorney General and federal judiciary system and ordering the composition of the Supreme Court (1789). General (and future President) Zachary Taylor captures Monterrey in the Mexican-American War (1846). Gold prices plummet after President Grant orders the Treasury to sell large quantities of gold after Jay Gould and James Fisk plot to control the market (1869). Teddy Roosevelt proclaims Devils Tower in Wyoming as the nation's first National Monument (1906). Cathay Pacific Airways is founded in Hong Kong (1946). The Honda Motor Company is founded (1948). President Eisenhower sends the 101st Airborne Division to Little Rock, Arkansas, to enforce desegregation (1957). USS Enterprise, the world's first nuclear-powered aircraft carrier, is launched (1960). Representatives of 71 nations sign the Comprehensive Nuclear-Test-Ban Treaty at the United Nations (1996). 
• September 24 is the birthday of Guru Ram Das (1534), SCOTUS Chief Justice John Marshall (1755), athlete Lottie Dodd (1871), third oldest person ever Sarah Knauss (1880), blues musician Blind Lemon Jefferson (1893), novelist F. Scott Fitzgerald (1896), sportscaster Jim McKay (1921), puppeteer Jim Henson (1936), singer/activist Linda McCartney (1941), guitarist Jerry Donahue (1946), actor Phil Hartman (1948), baseball player Rafael Palmiero (1964), and drummer Janet Weiss (1965).

So, my plan today is to have no plan. I may play some guitar. I may not. Make sure you’re registered to vote, have a plan together to vote (by mail, by ballot dropbox, or at the polls), and enjoy your day.