Random News: September 23, 2022

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s September 23, 2022, and if you can believe it, it’s a Friday once again! Here’s a smattering of dribs and drabs and flotsam and jetsam…

• In a Fox News interview, the FPOTUS made a statement that was outlandish even by his own fucked-up standards.
• He said that a president could declassify a document by “saying it’s declassified… even by thinking about it.”
• What?!?!?!?
• Note: not true. There’s a specific process that has to occur to declassify secret and top secret information of the USA. Thinking it or even saying it doesn’t make it happen.
• The latest news in his espionage/obstruction criminal investigation… Judge Dearie (aka the “special master” that FPOTUS himself requested) has ordered Trump’s lawyers to state whether Trump believes the FBI lied about (or planted) the classified documents taken from his Florida golf motel, Mar-a-Lago.
• Trump has made many statements on social media accusing the FBI as such, but now his own Special Master is requiring him to make those same accusations under oath.
• Dearie is moving this right along. He set a September 30 deadline for Trump's lawyers to submit this sworn declaration.
• Ha ha.
• The crack addict-cum-pillow salesman Mike Lindell has fucked himself in multiple ways. Yesterday, a Trump-appointed federal judge denied Lindell’s request to get his phone back after it was seized by the FBI at a Hardee’s drive-thru.
• The case the judge cited? Yeah, it was the 11th Circuit Appeals Court decision against Trump the night before. Oh irony. I love it.
• Lindell is being charged with identity theft and intentional damage to a protected computer. How did law enforcement find out about this? Read the following delicious statement.
• “Officials first became aware of the breach after passwords and hard drive copies from Mesa County voting machines were presented at an event hosted by Lindell.”
• Dude. Holy shit.
• In other idiot news, Alex Jones, a man who made millions by torturing the parents of children killed in one of the nation’s worst mass shootings, was back in court yesterday, this time in Connecticut for another round in his multiple defamation trials.
• Like his last trial in Texas, because the judge had already ruled that Jones is liable, the jury is determining the amount in damages to award the plaintiffs. 
• Jones went off the rails on the witness stand yesterday, screaming in a rant that ended with him confessing that he’s not sorry at all. I’m sure that will be very interesting in its effect on the dollar figure of damages awarded the families.
• MAGA Republican commentator Nick Fuentes made a statement yesterday saying that the only hope for America is for there to be a “white uprising” that disbands Congress and installs Trump as a dictator. “Elect Trump one more time and then stop having elections.”
• See above and please vote on November 8. Thank you.
• Yesterday, a judge blocked Indiana's abortion ban, saying it violates the state's constitution. That’s good news!
• If you want to codify the rights for women to have reproductive health care nationwide, vote for Democrats at all levels come November 8.
• And now, The Weather: “Miracles” by Alex G.
• From the Sports Desk… the Cleveland Browns handily beat the Pittsburgh Steelers last night 29-17. Not to talk shit about the Steelers, but it’s tough to have confidence in a team led by Mitch Trubisky. Ask any Bears fan.
• Also, fuck Brett Favre. Seriously.
• In local news, Los Angeles County has ended mask requirements in public transit and airports. That’s fine. People can wear masks, not wear masks, whatever. I’m not going to care about what other people do in terms of their health. As mentioned before, I may wear a mask in public for the rest of my life. I like not getting sick.
• Today in history… Drusilla, the sister of Caligula with whom the emperor is said to have had an incestuous relationship, is deified (38). The Mongols beat the Ming dynasty at the Battle of Kherlen (1409). King Philip II of Spain orders a halt to colonizing efforts in Florida (1561). The first commencement exercises occur at Harvard College (1642). John Paul Jones, naval commander of the USS Bonhomme Richard, wins the Battle of Flamborough Head (1779). Lewis and Clark return to St. Louis after exploring the Pacific Northwest of the United States (1806). The Knickerbockers Baseball Club, the first baseball team to play under the modern rules, is founded in New York (1845). Astronomers Urbain Le Verrier, John Couch Adams and Johann Gottfried Galle collaborate on the discovery of Neptune (1846). Nintendo is founded to produce and market the playing card game Hanafuda (1889). Norway and Sweden peacefully dissolve the union between the two countries (1905). Roland Garros of France becomes the first to fly in an airplane across the Mediterranean (1913). The Lincoln Center for the Performing Arts opens in New York City (1962). The first public version of the web browser Mozilla Firefox ("Phoenix 0.1") is released (2002). 
• September 23 is the birthday of Roman emperor Augustus (63 BC), Mongolian emperor Kublai Khan (1215), violinist/composer Giovanni Maria Bononcini (1642), juournalist/activist Victoria Woodhull (1838), engineer/businessman Robert Bosch (1861), activist Mary Church Terrell (1863), musicologist John Lomax (1867), actor Walter Pidgeon (1897), actor Mickey Rooney (1920), jazz music god John Coltrane (1926), musical genius Ray Charles, whom I accidentally listed at the wrong date awhile back (1930), guitarist Roy Buchanan (1939), singer Julio Iglesias (1943), football coach Marty Schottenheimer (1943), singer-songwriter Bruce Springsteen (1949), actress Rosalind Chao (1957), singer-songwriter Ani DiFranco (1970), press secretary and dancer Sean Spicer (1971), actor Karl Pilkington (1972), and actor Anthony Mackie (1978).

Alrighty. It’s Friday! I hope your week has been reasonably good. I’m going to try and mostly relax this weekend. Stress is a weird thing. It’s like a cup that continually fills, and you have to make sure you purposefully dump some out every so often to keep it from overflowing. How you dump your stress cup is up to you, and each person is slightly different in that regard. I’m going to get through today and figure out my anti-stress plans later on. Enjoy your day!