Random News: September 9, 2022

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s September 9, 2022, and you can believe it, it’s a Friday once again! Here are some thoughts on some things…

• Queen Elizabeth II, the monarch of the United Kingdom and of 14 other sovereign countries, died yesterday at age 96.
• She reigned for over 70 years, from her coronation in 1952 to her death on Thursday.
• Along with every other person under 70 years old, she was been the Queen of England my entire life. She’s been the Queen for close to one-third of the time the USA has been a country.
• Her eldest son has now become King Charles III. It’s weird, man. The last time there was a king of England, Harry Truman was president.
• Little note, for those who study history… things didn’t go so great for King Charles I (executed for high treason in January 1649) or King Charles II (defeated by Oliver Cromwell when England became a de facto republic). I may not think a lot of Charles III, but I wish him and his realm the best of luck.
• There are tons of well-written histories of Queen Elizabeth, as well as movies and entire TV series about her and her extraordinary life. I won’t be getting into those details here.
• My well wishes go out to my UK friends and those in commonwealth territories around the world.
• Moving on.
• The DoJ is appealing the court-ordered special master review of the materials seized by the FBI at the FPOTUS’s golf motel.
• They also asked US District Judge Aileen Cannon to partially pause part of her order, because it halted the intelligence community's review of classified documents that the FPOTUS stole and hid.
• Despite the appeal, both Trump and the DoJ are submitting their respective lists of special master candidates. Both lists might be sort of hilarious.
• More on that later. Much, much, so much more.
• Literal walking pus nodule Steve Bannon pleaded not guilty to charges of money laundering, conspiracy and fraud. He allegedly stole about $15 million from gullible MAGA folks who thought they were donating to build a wall at the southern border.
• Bannon faces up to 15 ears in jail on felony charges, plus having to return twice the amount of his ill-gotten gains, per NY state law.
• And now, The Weather: “Pain Without a Touch” by Sweeping Promises.
• The South Carolina Senate tried to advance a bill that banned abortion from the moment of fertilization. They failed. Yes!
• The Michigan Supreme Court made a ruling that instead of being legislated, their abortion amendment will go to the voters in November. You know what to do, Michiganders!
• From the Sports Desk… the Buffalo Bills were already the preseason favorite to win the Super Bowl this year. By the way the chewed up and spit out last year’s champion Los Angeles Rams in a road game last night, I’d say they’re right, especially looking at Buffalo’s schedule (who is going to beat these guys?). But it’s the first game of a rather long season, and a lot will happen between now and February 2023. 
• In Clark County, NV, public administrator Robert Telles was arrested for murdering reporter Jeff German. German had reported on Teller's purported wrongdoing, including that he created a hostile work environment and had an inappropriate relationship with a staffer.
• Here’s a thought: if you’re not a terrible person in a public position, the media won’t have any reason to write truthful stories about you.
• Today in history… Christopher Columbus, with 17 ships and 1,200 men, sails on his second voyage from Cadiz (1493). Mary Stuart, at nine months old, is crowned "Queen of Scots” (1543). Thomas Cavendish in his ship Desire completes the first deliberately planned voyage of circumnavigation (1588). The Continental Congress officially names its union of states the United States (1776). Washington, D.C., the capital of the United States, is named after President George Washington (1791). John Herschel takes the first glass plate photograph (1839). California is admitted as the thirty-first U.S. state (1850). The WWII Allies land at Salerno and Taranto, Italy (1943). Kim Il-sung declares the establishment of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea, aka North Korea (1948). Elvis Presley appears on The Ed Sullivan Show for the first time (1956). The four-day Attica Prison riot begins (1971). Elizabeth II becomes the longest reigning monarch of the United Kingdom (2015).
• September 9 is the birthday of Roman emperor Honorius (384), politician Cardinal Richelieu (1585), author Leo Tolstoy (1828), businessman Colonel Sanders (1890), actor Cliff Robertson (1923), outstanding singer Otis Redding (1941), quarterback Joe Theismann (1949), and actor/producer Adam Sandler (1966).

Well, it’s Friday. We’re supposed to have utterly fucking miserable weather here in Southern California today, but I’m going to try and not let that ruin my day. I do reserve the right to complain a lot. I wish you a day of whatever you want it to be. Enjoy your day.