Random News: September 10, 2023

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s September 10, 2023, and it’s a Sunday. Overcast and slightly drizzly here when I awoke, which is nice. I’ve got my coffee, so let’s do this.

• I want to clarify something I mentioned yesterday about New Mexico Gov. Michelle Lujan Grisham, who issued an emergency order banning firearms from being carried in public in Albuquerque, something that in theory I support.
• There’s a small problem with that: as long as we have a Second Amendment in our Constitution, and that multiple court decisions have been made that allow for carrying firearms openly or concealed, we can’t arbitrarily violate our Constitution even when it seems like a good idea.
• The best way I can explain it is that if a governor made an emergency order that drastically impacted your rights of free speech and violated the First Amendment, you’d lose your shit, and you’d be right.
• Anyway, I don’t think Gov. Grisham’s order is going to hold up to legal scrutiny, nor should it, and I just wanted to mention this. 
• Which brings us to Sunday Gunday here at Zak’s Random news, where we take a short look at the gun violence that happens each and every week in the USA. Why Sunday? Because Americans tend to shoot each other more on Friday and Saturday than other days.
• If I listed every one of the shootings in the USA all the time, this column would be nothing but that. That’s not what I want.
• Two people dead after a shooting in SW Miami-Dade,, FL. One dead, another injured at a drive-by in Houston, TX. One dead, one critically injured in a furniture store shooting in Memphis, TN. One dead, two injured in a shooting in Sacramento, CA. One woman is dead, another person injured in a shooting in Dorchester, MA. A 15-year-old boy killed in a targeted shooting in Everett, WA. Another man critically injured near Memphis in SE Shelby County, TN. One dead in a parking lot shooting in Oceanside, CA. One dead in Farrell, PA. A corrections officer shot dead east of Lake Stevens, WA. One dead in a shooting in northwest Wichita, KS. Two shot, one critically, in a double shooting in North Philadelphia, PA. One shot dead in Minneapolis , MN. Four men critically injured in a shooting inside an apartment in Chicago, IL. One shot dead in Durham, NC. A woman shot dead and a man inured in Collierville, TN. One shot and left in critical condition in Salt Lake City, UT. Two women and one man shot in a drive-by near a park in Atlanta, GA. A woman shot in Goose Creek, SC. One shot in Panorama City, CA. A teenager in critical condition after being shot in St. Albans, WV. One shot in Lafayette, CO. A woman shot in Portsmouth, VA. Two shot in Bridgeport, CT. One shot in Lincoln, NE. 
• That’s maybe half of the gun violence headlines I noticed during a quick scroll that’s limited to the past two days. Some big commonalities: the majority of the shooters and the victims are young, either teenagers or in their early twenties. 
• And there’s your reminder: gun violence is the #1 killer of children in the United States. Not car accidents, not drugs, not cancer, not snakes or sharks or anything else that you think of as dangerous. It’s guns.
• If you vote for political candidates who don’t support common-sense gun laws, you’re directly contributing to the deaths of kids. I don’t know any way to sugarcoat it. Sorry.
• Let’s move on.
• In our continuing coverage of the crimes and punishments of the people who tried to overthrow the USA on January 6, 2021, Leo Brent Bozell IV, 44, of Palmyra, PA was found guilty on Friday of 10 charges, including five felony offenses, after a trial decided by a federal judge.
• Bozell is the son of a prominent conservative activist. During the failed coup attempt, he bashed in a window, chased a police officer, invaded the Senate floor and helped a mob disrupt the certification of Joe Biden’s presidential election victory.
• Bozell’s father is Brent Bozell III, who founded the Media Research Center, Parents Television Council and other conservative media organizations. Little Bozo’s sentencing is scheduled for January 9. I’ll be keeping an eye on it.
• In related news, Gregory Mijares was identified by online "Sedition Hunters" in 2021 as the man who federal authorities say set off a brutal battle with police at the lower west tunnel of the U.S. Capitol on Jan. 6.
• Mijares was arrested Friday in Crown Point, IN and charged with felony civil disorder along with two misdemeanor charges.
• Continuing this same theme, Levi Plumley, 26, of Covington, KY appeared in federal court before District Judge Robert S. Ballou this week on the charges currently against him from January 6, which include knowingly entering or remaining in any restricted building or grounds without lawful authority; disorderly and disruptive conduct in a restricted building or grounds; and disorderly conduct in a Capitol building or grounds; and more.

• Plumley is on video at the insurrection saying, “I didn’t think I could do it. They don’t have a choice but to give it to Trump now do they?”
• Is that all? Nope. 26-year-old Chancelor Nathan Taylor of Anderson, MO has also been arrested on felony and misdemeanor charges for his January 6 involvement.
• Taylor shouted to the police defending the Capitol, “I hope you all fucking die!” That’s the voice of the modern Republican party, folks.
• More than 1,100 people have been charged with Capitol attack-related federal crimes. More than 650 of them have pleaded guilty. Approximately 140 others have been convicted in trials.
• Tomorrow is 9/11. I’ll talk about that infamous date then, but I will tell you, having our own fucking citizens try to destroy the country on January 6 actually angers me a lot more. Never forget January 6. 
• Moving on.
• That piece of shit “Mommy Vlogger” Ruby Franke will remain behind bars without bail, Judge Eric Gentry ruled during her initial court appearance Friday. Her next hearing is scheduled for September 21. 
• Franke and her business partner Jodi Hildebrandt were arrested on six felony counts of aggravated child abuse. Franke’s 12-year-old son managed to escape Hildebrandt’s house and asked a neighbor to call police. He was emaciated and had duct tape around his ankles and wrists at the time.
• NEVER take parenting advice or any kind of fucking life advice from some random idiot on YouTube. Never ever. Franke’s “8 Passengers” YouTube channel boasted 2.3 million followers before it was finally yanked down. It makes me sick to think that other women are abusing their children under the influence of Franke and those like her.
• In other news…
• Former President and current alleged multiple felon Donald Trump brought his campaign to the Iowa-Iowa State football game yesterday.
• Social media lit up with videos of the boos and catcalls that greeted El Dumpo during his visit to Jack Trice Stadium in Ames, IA, including a photo that quickly gained traction of an Iowa State fan doing a classic double-fuck-you with both of his middle fingers straight to Donnie’s face. Bless that man.
• And now, The Weather: “Houseplants” by Joe Vann
• The death toll in the 6.8-magnitude earthquake that shook Morocco Friday night has surpassed 2,000 people. Thousands more are also critically injured.
• Rescuers have been digging through rubble to find remaining survivors in remote mountainous areas of the country ever since.
• I hate earthquakes.
• In other news of shitty natural phenomena, Phoenix, AZ yesterday broke a record that no one wants: temperatures topped 110 degrees Fahrenheit for the 54th day this year… and there’s still a lot more year left.
• I’ve walked out of Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport in the summer and felt 114 degrees hit me in the face like a brick that’s on fire. I could never live in that for long.
• RIP to iconic bassist Richard Davis, who died at age 93 this week. A lot of people know his work with jazz legends like Pharoah Sanders, Sarah Vaughan, Kenny Burrell, Eric Dolphy, and Andrew Hill.
• But probably a whole lot more know him as the upright bass player from Van Morrison’s Astral Weeks,  and he also performed on record and live with artists as varied as Igor Stravinsky to Bruce Springsteen, Janis Ian, Paul Simon, Carly Simon, Bonnie Raitt, Laura Nyro, Judy Collins, Buffalo Springfield, and many others.
• Davis once stated, “Duke Ellington always said there’s no difference between jazz and classical. He didn’t classify any genres. To him, there were only two kinds of music: It’s either good or bad. I’m with Duke Ellington on that.”
• I’m with them too.
• Just a few days after a 14-year-old Massachusetts boy died after doing the Paqui “one chip challenge”, six Florida elementary school students needed medical attention after they came in contact with the same snack on Wednesday.
• D’Anton Patrick told the news station that his son bought the chip from a Boyton Beach Walgreens on Tuesday, but his mother found it and made him throw it away. The kid’s 10-year-old sister then pulled it from the trash and took it to school.
• “The box says keep out of the hands of children. It says it’s for adult consumption only. Why are y’all selling it to a 12-year-old child?” said the father.
• Good question. I mean, most adults are smart enough not to do shit like that, but I digress.
• I thought you might enjoy learning a bit about what you are.
• Let’s assume you are human. If you’re reading this and comprehending it and you’re not human, do NOT tell me because I’m far better off not knowing.
• As a human, you are the only extant species in the genus Homo. You are also a great ape, along with the chimpanzees, gorillas, and orangutans in the Hominidae family.
• That means you’re also a primate, an order that includes the above as well as monkeys and lemurs and the like.
• And all of us are genetically in a clade called Euarchontoglires, a superorder of mammals which includes rodents, lagomorphs, treeshrews, primates, and colugos.
• So those are your closest relatives. Rats, rabbits, monkeys, strange gliding lemur dudes, and of course your fellow humans. When did we all last share a common relative? Not as far back as you might think… just 85-95 million years ago. Geologically, that’s nothing. That’s super recent.
• Every mouse you see could have been descended from your ancestor’s best friend at that time. Just something to consider.
• What, you want the next level up? Sure. That’s a magnorder of placental mammals that groups together superorders Euarchontoglires and Laurasiatheria, called Boreoeutheria. It also includes cats, dogs, bats, deer, giraffes, whales, rhinoceroses, and many others.
• In addition to various genetic markers, all the biological males in this group have scrotums. Yup. We’re united by balls.
• I think we’ve done enough on this topic.
• From the Sports Desk… yep, it is the magical first Sunday of the NFL season. There are no sure bets in the first week of the season; just ask the Chiefs. I’m posting this with about 15 minutes left until kickoff of the first games. Whoo!
• Some games that might be good: SF @ PIT; GB @ CHI; LAS @ DEN; DAL @ NYG; and Monday night’s game of BUF @ NYJ. But who even knows?
• Also from the Sports Desk: congrats to Coco Gauff for winning her first career major tennis title. The 19-year-ld American beat Aryna Sabalenka of Belarus yesterday 2-6, 6-3, 6-2 for the victory. Today is the men’s final. Yawn.
• Today in history… Nathan Hale volunteers to spy for the Continental Army in the American Revolutionary War (1776). Elias Howe is granted a patent for the sewing machine (1846). A sheriff's posse kills 19 unarmed striking immigrant miners in Lattimer, PA (1897). Abebe Bikila becomes the first sub-Saharan African to win an Olympic gold medal, winning the marathon in bare feet (1960). Switzerland, traditionally a neutral country, becomes a full member of the United Nations (2002). The Large Hadron Collider at CERN, described as the biggest scientific experiment in history, is powered up in Geneva, Switzerland (2008). Death of Queen Elizabeth II; King Charles III is formally proclaimed as monarch (2022).
• September 10 is the birthday of singer-songwriter/lute player Nicholas Lanier (1588), composer Henry Purcell (1659), mathematician/philosopher Charles Sanders Peirce (1839), activist Laura Cornelius Kellogg (1880), physicist Arthur Compton (1892), film director Robert Wise (1914), golfer Arnold Palmer (1929), fashion designer Karl Lagerfeld (1933), journalist Charles Kuralt (1934), MLB player Roger Maris (1934), NBA player Bob Lanier (1948), journalist Bill O’Reilly (1949), guitarist/songwriter Joe Perry (1950), actress Amy Irving (1953), actor Colin Firth (1960), singer-songwriter/guitarist David Lowery (1960), MLB player Randy Johnson (1963), film director Guy Ritchie (1968), policy analyst Neera Tanden (1970), NBA player Ben Wallace (1974), and MLB player Joey Votto (1983).

Okay, that’s enough. Time for me to be a football goon. Enjoy your day.