Random News: September 26, 2023

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s September 26, 2023, and it’s a Tuesday. I think I have a pretty normal day ahead, but no one ever really knows if that’s true. That’s why you keep going… to find out what happens next. For now, some news.

• Donnie bought a gun / Donnie bought a gun / What has this felon done? / Jack Smith won’t think it’s fun
• Yes, Don Don the Dummy was on video yesterday afternoon during a campaign stop. He was in a gun shop in Summerville, SC, and the video showed Trump appear to purchase a firearm. His spokesperson Steven Cheung wrote a social post saying that Trump had purchased the firearm, but then quickly deleted the post and the video.
• Why is this a big deal? 
• Federal law prohibits anyone who’s under indictment for a crime punishable by more than one year in prison from shipping, transporting, or receiving a firearm or even ammunition.
• It also prohibits selling or giving a firearm to anyone when they know or have “reasonable cause to believe” that person is under federal felony indictment.
• Trump has been indicted in four separate criminal cases—two federal cases, related to alleged attempts to overturn the 2020 election results and classified documents found at his Mar-a-Lago residence, a New York case related to an alleged hush money payment made during his 2016 campaign, and a Georgia case surrounding the 2020 election.
• After his disastrous fuckup, Mouth of Orange Sauron Steven Cheung made a terse official follow-up statement saying, “President Trump did not purchase or take possession of the firearm. He simply indicated that he wanted one.”
• Hahahahaha. I can go buy a gun legally right now and Trump can’t. Hee hee. 
• Moving on… with some breaking news that is fantastic.
• The Supreme Court this morning handed a defeat to Alabama Republicans for the second time in three months, rejecting their latest attempt to use a congressional map that includes only one majority-Black district.
• The court refused emergency requests from Republican state officials to block lower court rulings that invalidated the new map. There were no noted dissenting votes and the court did not explain its reasoning.
• Excellent. Fuck those racists. Moving on.
• Since the topic of the week is the Republican government shutdown, let’s take a quick look at the 14 times it’s happened before.
• See, before 1980, agencies largely continued operating during a lapse in funding with the assumption that Congress would act quickly. But then, Attorney General Benjamin Civiletti authored a series of legal opinions that found government agencies didn't have the authority to continue running during a gap in funding.
• Ronald Reagan oversaw eight shutdowns during his time in office, the longest of which lasted just three days.
• There were another three funding gaps between 1990 and 1995, then none until 2013. That’s when things got seriously fucked up.
• The shutdown starting September 20, 2013 lasted 16 days, and was all about the Republicans whining about the Affordable Care Act, aka Obamacare. End result: Congress caved and funded Obamacare.
• In December 2018, the shutdown lasted 34 days and was focused on Trump's demand for $5.7 billion to pay for a wall along the U.S.-Mexico border. End result: Trump ended up signing a bill to reopen agencies for the short term, and did not include money for the border wall. Congress then averted yet another shutdown by passing a measure that included $1.375 billion for the border wall, far less than the $5.7 billion Trump requested.
• Anyway, I can’t see any way for the pending shutdown to be avoided. Not with the current far-right factions involved, and the thin margins required to pass or reject any kind of legislation.
• We’re all fucked, once again. Thanks GOP.
• The president had some good advice about this whole thing.
• "Funding the government is one of the most basic, fundamental responsibilities of the Congress and if Republicans in the House don’t start doing their job, we should stop electing them," said Biden in remarks at the White House yesterday.
• I fucking agree! Let’s stop electing them immediately.
• Quick side note: a number of moderate GOP lawmakers are currently working with Democrats to fund the government past September 30 and combat a shutdown. Several of them have expressed an openness to joining Democrats in signing a discharge petition, a mechanism to force a vote on a measure against the wishes of the Speaker. 
• Guess we’ll see.
• Moving on.
• Yesterday, Gov. Gavin Newsom (D-CA) announced he signed a bill that will classify child sex trafficking as a serious felony in California. The classification makes it a strikable offense, meaning repeat offenders or those who have committed other serious felonies could face more time behind bars, including life in prison.
• The new law, which will go into effect at the start of next year, marks the first time ever the California Legislature has added a crime to its "three strikes" law, which imposes 25 years to life in prison for those who have prior convictions of violent or serious felonies.
• This was a bipartisan effort. The bill's author, Republican State Sen. Shannon Grove, said the purpose of the measure is to prevent repeat child sex traffickers from being released from prison early. 
• I agree. While we’re on the topic of my governor…
• Fox News has announced that it will host a debate between Ron DeSantis and Gavin Newsom. The 90-minute debate will take place in Georgia and is to be moderated by Fox anchor Sean Hannity.
• Both of these guys are very likely to be presidential candidates in 2028. Could be interesting.
• In other news…
• Some potential good news in regard to something you probably haven’t thought about in awhile: net neutrality.
• The proposed rules from the Federal Communications Commission will designate internet service — both the wired kind found in homes and businesses as well as mobile data on cellphones — as “essential telecommunications” akin to traditional telephone services, according to multiple people familiar with the plan. The rules would ban internet service providers (ISPs) from blocking or slowing down access to websites and online content.
• FCC chairwoman Jessica Rosenworcel plans to unveil the proposal in a speech today. With her proposal, the FCC aims to restore Obama-era regulations that the telecom and cable industries spent years fighting in court, and that the FCC under Republican leadership rolled back during the Trump administration. 
• Good. Let’s keep rolling.
• Patrick Crusius, the gunman who killed 23 people and wounded 22 others at an El Paso Walmart in one of the deadliest attacks in modern US history, has agreed to pay more than $5.5 million in restitution to those impacted by the shooting.
• In February, Crusius pleaded guilty to 90 federal charges, including hate crimes, from the 2019 shooting. In July, he was sentenced to 90 consecutive life sentences.
• Um. That guy does’t have $5.5 million. He doesn’t have shit. He was 21 years old and had dropped out of community college when he killed all those people because they weren’t white like him. Why go through this bullshit exercise?
• Let’s back up to El Dumpo for a moment. Yesterday he lambasted Pennsylvania’s move to establish statewide automatic voter registration, calling it a “disaster for the Election of Republicans” and a “totally Unconstitutional Act.”
• Automatic voter registration adds anyone who obtains a state license or identification card as a voter, and residents can choose to opt out of the initiative at any time. Pennsylvania is the 24th state to introduce a version of automatic voter registration.
• You have to ask yourself why someone is so against people being able to vote. It’s almost as if they know that they are exceedingly unpopular and that less people voting increases their odds of being elected.
• And now, The Weather: “Dog” by Ryan O'Connell
• RIP to actor actor David McCallum, who died at 90 of natural causes.
• He was best known for his roles on “NCIS” and the 1960s spy series “The Man From U.N.C.L.E.”.
• Let’s do a chart. It’s this date in September 1984. I’m at the start of my junior year of high school. I have at least one girlfriend and I play guitar and keyboards in at least one rock band. I’m also using drugs and alcohol way too often, something I’d fortunately start to reign in a few years later. Most of the hits on the Billboard Hot 100 are getting a ton of exposure via MTV, which is at the height of its cultural influence. 
• 1. Let's Go Crazy (Prince And The Revolution). 2. Missing You (John Waite). 3. Drive (The Cars). 4. She Bop (Cyndi Lauper). 5. I Just Called To Say I Love You (Stevie Wonder). 6. What's Love Got To Do With It (Tina Turner). 7. The Warrior (Scandal). 8. The Glamorous Life (Sheila E.). 9. Cruel Summer (Bananarama). 10. Cover Me (Bruce Springsteen). 11. If This Is It (Huey Lewis & The News). 12. Hard Habit To Break (Chicago). 13. Lucky Star (Madonna). 14. When You Close Your Eyes (Night Ranger). 15. Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run) (Billy Ocean). 16. Dynamite (Jermaine Jackson). 17. Torture (The Jacksons). 18. Stuck On You (Lionel Richie). 19. Ghostbusters (Ray Parker Jr.). 20. The Lucky One (Laura Branigan)
• From the Sports Desk… safety Haley Van Voorhis became the first woman who was not a kicker or punter to appear in a NCAA college football game. Van Voorhis, a junior at Shenandoah University in Winchester, VA, was tapped to play Saturday against Juniata College during a Division III game at Shenandoah's Shentel Stadium. She stepped onto the field during the first quarter and registered a quarterback hurry — which led to an incomplete third-down pass. Shenandoah went on to win, 48-7.
• My opinion? Anyone who is capable at playing any sport and beats out other players in their position should be able to play. Simple as that. I will tell you, safety is a rough position, but Van Voorhis looks tough to me, and if she wants this, she should do it.
• Today in history… William II is crowned King of England (1087). Francis Drake finishes his circumnavigation of the Earth in Plymouth, England (1580). The Parthenon in Athens, used as a gunpowder depot by the Ottoman garrison, is partially destroyed (1687). George Washington appoints Thomas Jefferson the first United States Secretary of State (1789). Albert Einstein publishes the third of his Annus Mirabilis papers, introducing the special theory of relativity (1905). The United States Federal Trade Commission is established (1914). The ocean liner RMS Queen Mary is launched (1934). United Nations troops recapture Seoul from North Korean forces (1950). Typhoon Vera, the strongest typhoon to hit Japan in recorded history, makes landfall (1959). In Chicago, the first televised debate takes place between presidential candidates Richard M. Nixon and John F. Kennedy (1960). Abbey Road, the last recorded album by the Beatles, is released (1969). Nolan Ryan sets a Major League record by throwing his fifth no-hitter (1981). The PBS Kids Channel is shut down and replaced by a joint network with Comcast called Sprout (2005).
• September 26 is the birthday of gardener/environmentalist Johnny Appleseed (1774), physiologist Ivan Pavlov (1849), poet T. S. Eliot (1888), composer George Gershwin (1898), actor George Raft (1901), fitness expert Jack LaLanne (1914), singer-songwriter/guitarist Marty Robbins (1925), singer-songwriter Brian Ferry (1945), singer Gal Costa (1945), activist Andrea Dworkin (1946), singer-songwriter Olivia Newton-John (1948), musician Cesar Rosas (1954), actress Linda Hamilton (1956), singer-songwriter Darby Crash (1958), sports executive Jeanie Buss (1961), drummer John Tempesta (1964), politician Beto O’Rourke (1972), NHL players Daniel and Henrik Sedin (1980), and tennis player Serena Williams (1981).

That seems like plenty of news. I’m going to be putting on blinders and doing a shit-ton of writing today. Not fun writing. Work writing. It’s the time of year where people like me write about the new products that companies want to sell you in 2024. It’s a specific skill that has allowed me to do things like pay my rent for the past 30 years. I’m pretty good at it. Enjoy your day.