Random News: September 16, 2023

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morn- er, afternoon. It’s September 16, 2023, and it’s a Saturday. I am deeply immersed in the genealogy project I’ve mentioned a few times lately. I am going to therefore use extreme brevity in this set of bullets today so I can get back to the insanity that is my lineage.

• Federal prosecutors in the case charging Donald Trump with scheming to overturn the 2020 presidential election are seeking an order that would restrict the former president from "inflammatory" and "intimidating" comments about witnesses, per a motion yesterday from Special Counsel Jack Smith.
• U.S. District Judge Tanya Chutkan released a redacted filing, alleging that Dumpy engaged in new incidents of witness intimidation.
• Specifically, the government is seeking the relief that the Court "enter a narrowly tailored order pursuant to Local Criminal Rule 57.7(c) that restricts certain prejudicial extrajudicial statements; and enter an order through which the Court can ensure that if either party conducts a jury study involving contact with the citizens of this District, the jury study is conducted in a way that will not prejudice the venire."
• Moving on.
• In a travesty of justice that was not unexpected by me, anyway, Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton was acquitted this morning on all 16 articles of impeachment.
• Paxton still faces a federal investigation and state charges.
• Let’s do some shitty news, while we’re being shitty.
• Robert Dotson, 52, was shot and killed in the doorway of his Farmington, NM home after local police officers opened fire when they saw he had a gun. Dotson had a gun because someone was banging on his front door at 11:30 at night… and the police had gone to the wrong address.
• The family has now sued the department for wrongful death and other claims in federal court. I hope they get many, many millions of dollars. It’s the least they should get.
• Some quick hits…
• Ford Motor said it had temporarily laid off 600 non-striking workers at its assembly plant in Wayne, MI, only hours after other employees at the facility had walked off the job early Friday as part of the United Auto Workers' historic strike against the Big Three automakers. 
• Have you seen the Lauren Boebert (R-CO) video?
• We already mentioned she’d been kicked out of a performance of the musical Beetlejuice in Denver for inappropriate behavior. I first thought that behavior was being loud and vaping.
• Um, no. She was giving her date a hand job while he we groping her breasts in an all-ages theater. Kids were there.
• And yes, she was also vaping, yelling, and recording the show on her phone. When she got booted out, she tried the, “Don’t you know who I am?” tactic.
• Boebert has issued an apology, saying, “The past few days have been difficult and humbling, and I’m truly sorry for the unwanted attention my Sunday evening in Denver has brought to the community.”
• Pfffffffttttttttt.
• And now, The Weather: “Were You High When You Loved Me?” by Calson x RUNNER BOY
• From the Sports Desk… Shohei Ohtani has been placed on the injured list and will miss the remainder of the season. It’s sad because that guy can break every record that ever existed if he stays healthy.
• Today in history… 35 religious dissenters called Pilgrims set sail for Virginia from Plymouth, England in the Mayflower (1620). The Franco-American Siege of Savannah begins in the Revolutionary War (1779). Settlers make a land run for prime land in the Cherokee Strip in Oklahoma (1893). General Motors Corporation is founded (1908). A bomb in a horse wagon explodes in front of the J. P. Morgan building on Wall Street in New York City killing 38 and injuring 400 (1920). The first successful photocopier, the Xerox 914, is introduced (1959). Typhoon Nancy, with possibly the strongest winds ever measured in a tropical cyclone, makes landfall in Osaka, Japan (1961). The Metropolitan Opera House opens at Lincoln Center in New York City (1966). The Montreal Protocol is signed to protect the ozone layer from depletion (1987). Manuel Noriega gets a 40-year sentence for drug trafficking and money laundering (1992). 
• September 16 is the birthday of king Henry V of England (1386), banker Nathan Mayer Rothschild (1777), UK prime minister Bonar Law (1858), businessmanr James Cash Penny (1875), TV producer Allen Funt (1914), actress Lauren Bacall (1924), singer-songwriter/guitarist B.B. King (1925), actor Peter Falk (1927), NBA player Elgin Baylor (1934), drummer Kenney Jones (1948), actor Ed Begley Jr. (1949), historian Henry Louis Gates Jr. (1950), guitarist/composer Earl Klugh (1954), MLB player Robin Yount (1955), magician David Copperfield (1956), MLB player Orel Hershiser (1958), actress Jennifer Tilly (1958), singer-songwriter/guitarist Bilinda Butcher (1961), singer-songwriter Richard Marx (1963), actress Molly Shannon (1964), actress Amy Poehler (1971), and singer-songwriter Nick Jonas (1992).

Alright, back to my genes. I’m telling you, it’s pretty mind-blowing. My only hint for the moment is that I’ve taken several family lines back to the 800s, and I still have a long way to go to flesh out all the details. Enjoy your day.