Random News: October 6, 2023

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s October 6, 2023, and if you can believe it, it’s a Friday once again! I’ve got my cup of Peet’s and I’m ready to explore the events of the world that have happened in recent times. Let’s do this.

• Bad things happened to Donnie the Dumpster, which means good things happened for America.
• I’m not even sure where to start. Hmm.
• Okay. Judge Engoron has issued an order that El Dumpo, Dump Junior, L’il Eric Dump, and Trump Org guys Allen Weisselberg and Jeffrey McConney can’t move a single dime or open a business without reporting it to Barbara Jones, the monitor overseeing the case.
• They also have seven days to provide a list of every business they own, and any third party who has any ownership or partnership with any of their business. This includes the 500+ shell companies Dumpo owns and anyone who has a stake in any of them.
• Between now and October 26, they have to provide the court with potential receivers who will probably be responsible for liquidating all the businesses.
• And that’s not even the bad news of the day for Dumples the Clown.
• Months after leaving the White House, Donnie shared sensitive information about U.S. nuclear submarines with a member of his Mar-a-Lago Club -- an Australian billionaire who then allegedly shared the information with scores of others.
• Like everything else, this has now been reported to special counsel Jack Smith's team.
• Anthony Pratt runs U.S.-based Pratt Industries, one of the world's largest packaging companies. Dumpy told Pratt two pieces of information about U.S. submarines: the supposed exact number of nuclear warheads they routinely carry, and exactly how close they supposedly can get to a Russian submarine without being detected.
• In emails and conversations, Pratt described Trump's remarks to at least 45 others, including six journalists, 11 of his company's employees, 10 Australian officials, and three former Australian prime ministers.
• Do you know what they do to people who share sensitive/classified info with foreign nationals? And specific info of that nature is at the very height of Top Secret shit. Even telling an ally would mean life in prison for most people.
• In comedy news for La Dumperino, he asked the federal judge overseeing special counsel Jack Smith’s election interference case to dismiss the criminal charges, arguing he has immunity because he was president at the time and also was acquitted by the US Senate after his impeachment.
• As ridiculous as it seems and the low likelihood I put on it going through, this is probably a point that Dumpster will take to the Supreme Court. While courts have held presidents can be immune from civil liability for their actions while in office, this is a whole new situation in terms of whether or not that extends to criminal prosecutions.
• We never had enough of a horrible asshole of a president to test these theories, you see.
• If you’re confused, this is for the DC indictment with US District Judge Tanya Chutkan that accuses D-Dizzle of illegally plotting to stay in office after losing the 2020 election… as in, the fake electors and the January 6 failed coup attempt, among other actions.
• Is there more news about that guy? Yup.
• Dumpty Dump dropped his lawsuit against his former attorney Michael Cohen yesterday, four days before the former president was set to be deposed as part of the case.
• The Dumpster had sued Cohen in April for $500 million alleging his former fixer breached his professional obligations as his confidant and attorney through the publication of his books as well as podcasts and media appearances.
• Why did he withdraw the suit? Well, anything where Donnie has to testify under oath, and where other details were bound to come to light, is not something he wants to have happen.
• My final words of the day on that piece of shit (I promise) is that you don’t have to be concerned about him being the next Speaker of the House.
• In a post a bit after midnight, Dumpy endorsed Ohio Rep. Jim Jordan’s bid for speaker.
• Dump had previously taken about visiting Capitol Hill to talk to Republicans about the Speaker role, but that trip is now apparently canceled.
• Jim Jordan, as most of you know, is the man who was a wrestling coach at Ohio State University who ignored complaints from at least six of his team members when they were sexually molested by the team doctor, Richard Strauss.
• An independent report commissioned by the university concluded that Strauss “sexually abused at least 177 male student-patients” between 1979 and 1998. The doctor died by suicide in 2005.
• Strauss’ inappropriate behavior was an open secret in the athletic department and that Jordan, among others, must have known about it.
• So that’s who Donnie wants to be Speaker, which seems very much on brand for the MAGA world. That’s who will be the leading Republican in government and second in line to the presidency.
• Anyway, enough on That Guy. Let’s go over to some news that proves everything That Guy touches dies.
• The attorneys defending "MyPillow Guy" Mike Lindell against defamation claims from voting machine companies are seeking to sever ties over millions of dollars in unpaid legal fees.
• In a court yesterday, the law firm of Parker Daniels Kibort LLC said Lindell and MyPillow are months behind on their legal bills in three defamation cases, and they can no longer afford to represent him.
• “We've lost everything, every dime. All of it is gone,” said Lindell yesterday. Too bad. So sad.
• Jesus. Let’s move on to something actually important.
• Yesterday, federal judges for the U.S. district court in Alabama selected new congressional lines to give the state a second district where Black voters comprise a substantial portion of the electorate.
• Hell yes!
• The new lines will be used in the 2024 elections. The judges stepped in to oversee the drawing of a new map after ruling last month that Alabama lawmakers flouted their instruction to fix a Voting Rights Act violation and create a second majority-Black district or something "quite close to it."
• This alters the bounds of AL Congressional District 2, now represented by Republican Rep. Barry Moore, in southeast Alabama, who is White. The district will now stretch westward across the state. Black voters will go from comprising less than one-third of the voting-age population to nearly 50%.
• This is going to matter, not just to the people of Alabama but to the country as it likely means the addition of a new blue seat in Congress next year.
• Moving on.
• Nancy Marks, who was campaign treasurer for Rep. George Santos (R-NY), was arrested and charged yesterday with felony charges in New York. Marks was charged via federal criminal information, an indication that she intends to enter a plea agreement with prosecutors.
• Buckle up, Santos. If you need a reminder, he was indicted by a federal grand jury in May with seven counts of wire fraud, three counts of money laundering, two counts of making materially false statements to the House of Representatives and one count of theft of public funds. 
• In other news…
• A man who was arrested Wednesday after bringing a handgun to the Wisconsin Capitol and saying he wanted to see Gov. Tony Evers returned with an assault rifle later that night after posting bail.
• Police took the man into custody for psychiatric evaluation based on a “concerning statement,” and the rifle was seized by Capitol Police. 
• Moving on…
• A key witness for prosecutors in the trial of Sam Bankman-Fried testified that both he and Bankman-Fried committed multiple financial crimes related to their oversight of now-bankrupt crypto exchange FTX.
• Gary Wang was a co-founder of FTX with Bankman-Fried. He told jurors — in compliance with an earlier plea deal — that he was guilty of wire fraud, securities fraud and commodities fraud, and that he committed those crimes under the direction of Bankman-Fried.
• Fuck Sam Bankman-Fried. Greedy pricks deserve the consequences.
• Moving on to a really important topic that those of you with children should pay attention to.
• There’s an epidemic of financial sextortion scams that target teen boys.
• Here’s how it works: a high school guy meets a girl — or so he thinks — via Instagram or Snapchat or any of dozens of social media platforms. They start flirting and doing sex chat stuff. The “girl” asks for a photo of him naked, and specifically requested he include his face.
• And then as soon as they have their pic, they start demanding hundreds of dollars to not reveal the pic to the public. The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children in 2022 says it received more than 10,000 tips of financial sextortion of minors. By the end of July 2023, the agency says the number of reports jumped to nearly 13,000.
• If you’re an adult, this is bad enough, but many teens have caved to their blackmailers and many more have committed suicide over this. Here’s what to do…
• Let your teen know they're not alone. Let your child know they were the victim of a serious crime and that it’s not their fault.
• Immediately stop responding and block the harasser. Do not delete the conversation so you have proof and can report it to the authorities. Do not send any money — even if the user has sent incriminating photos, giving into demands will rarely make the problem go away, and will often encourage them to demand more. Next, alert the platform. Most have a place to report sextortion.
• Contact your local FBI field office, call 1-800-CALL-FBI, or report it online at tips.fbi.gov. Victims can also report the abuse to the Internet Crimes Against Children Task Force or the to NCMEC through its CyberTipLine.
• If explicit content has been posted online, victims under 18 can use the NCMEC Take It Down service. The service has a 98 percent success rate, and it’s usually completed within two days.
• Know that the coercion of a child by an adult to produce what is considered Child Sexual Abuse Material carries heavy penalties, which can include up to life sentences for the offender.
• And now, The Weather: “Heavier Still” by Mad Honey
• A woman tried to bring giraffe poop into the US last week. Ain’t that some shit?
• She’d planned to use the giraffe excrement to make a necklace, and told officials at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport that she'd used moose droppings to make jewelry in the past.
• The giraffe poop was destroyed. Don’t travel with poop. In fact, don’t do anything with poop unless you are some kind of licensed poopologist. 
• Instead of a chart, let’s talk about music careers. Here’s a list of the top ten rock bands in order of their confirmed global record sales, in US dollars.
• 1. The Beatles ($290.0 million). 2. Queen ($184.2 million). 3. Eagles ($152.8 million). 4. Led Zeppelin ($142.6 million). 5. AC/DC ($130.9 million). 6. Pink Floyd ($123.8 million). 7. U2 ($114.8 million). 8. Metallica ($105.6 million). 9. Aerosmith ($104.8 million). 10. The Rolling Stones ($102.9 million).
• I have met people in two out of those ten bands, and had business dealings with five out of the ten. Not too shabby.
• From the Sports Desk… RIP to former Chicago Bears linebacker and Pro Football Hall of Famer Dick Butkus, who died yesterday at the age of 80.
• Butkus was the Bears’ middle linebacker for nine seasons in the 1960s and 1970s, and made eight Pro Bowls. He was before my time, but I’ve watched enough film of that guy to say without a doubt, he was the scariest linebacker of all time and by far the most dominant defensive player of his era.
• Butkus’s plan was pretty simple: he’d try to kill whoever had the ball on every single play. No joke.
• In related Sports Desk news, the Chicago Bears, who hadn’t had a win in 14 straight games extending well into the previous season, gave a solid beating to the pretty-good Washington Commanders last night, with a final score of 40-20.
• They did it for Dick. Good job, Bears.
• Today in history… Rebels decapitate Wang Mang two days after his capital was sacked during a peasant rebellion (23). ‘Euridice’, the earliest surviving opera, receives its première performance, beginning the Baroque period (1600). Immigrant families found Germantown, Pennsylvania in the first major immigration of German people to America (1683). Phi Mu Alpha Sinfonia, the largest American music fraternity, is founded at the New England Conservatory of Music — side note, I am a Mu Phi alumnus (1898). The Bosnian crisis erupts when Austria-Hungary formally annexes Bosnia and Herzegovina (1908). Opening of ‘The Jazz Singer’, the first prominent "talkie" movie (1927). Egyptian President Anwar Sadat is murdered by Islamic extremists (1981). The first planet orbiting another sun, 51 Pegasi b, is discovered (1995). 
• October 6 is the birthday of writer Marie de Gournay (1565), businessman/university founder James McGill (1744), soprano Jenny Lind (1820), engineer/businessman George Westinghouse (1846), pilot Roland Garros (1888), actress Carole Lombard (1908), activist Carolyn Goodman (1915), activist Fannie Lou Harner (1917), actress Britt Ekland (1942), politician Gerry Adams (1948), inventor Lonnie Johnson (1949), TV executive Leslie Moonves (1949), singer-songwriter/guitarist Kevin Cronin (1951), singer-songwriter/guitarist David Hidalgo (1954), NFL player/coach Tony Dungy (1955), actress Elizabeth Shue (1963), singer-songwriter/guitarist Matthew Sweet (1964), politician Steve Scalise (1965), WNBA player Rebecca Lobo (1973), NFL player Trevor Lawrence (1999), and college basketball player Bronny James (2004).

I suppose that’s enough. Enjoy your day.