Random News: September 26, 2025

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

---

Good morning. It’s September 26, 2025, and if you can believe it, it’s a Friday once again! Woke up after a night full of sleep but also full of bizarre and unsettling dreams. I feel like I need a nap, and it’s 7am. Despite that, I’m up and showered and dressed and drinking coffee, so we might as well see what’s happening in the world. 

• Starting with some happy news: yesterday, I received my sample ballot for Proposition 50 here in California.
• It’s not a very complication sample ballot. There’s one and only one measure on it.
• “Authorizes temporary changes to congressional district maps in response to Texas’ partisan redistricting. Legislative constitutional amendment. Requires temporary use of new congressional district maps through 2030. Directs independent Citizens Redistricting Commission to resume enacting congressional district maps in 2031.”
• And our choices are “Yes” or “No.”
• The actual ballots go out in the first week of October. I will be voting YES and submitting it at my local ballot box ASAP.
• Moving on.
• I have a bit of a busy day planned for tomorrow.
• First, I’m hitting the street (literally) tomorrow morning for “California Strong: Hold the Line in South Bay LA.”
• Pro-Democracy groups across California are coming together to organize a human chain along the entire coast to protest Dump’s increasingly aggressive attacks on our democracy. 
• The South Bay LA route runs along 15.5 miles of Pacific Coast Highway, and our spot on the route is conveniently just a few blocks down the street from my home here in Redondo Beach.
• This will be a peaceful demonstration of California's strength and solidarity to fight back against the Dump regime's immoral actions against our communities and his election rigging redistricting power grab. It’s a moment to show the world that California will not back down.
• The main message here? Yes on Prop 50!
• So that’s in the morning. Tomorrow night, Kat and I have tickets to see an indie artist we both like a lot — Alex G — at the Greek Theater here in Los Angeles.
• As I said, busy day.
• Okay, let’s really do some news. There’s a lot of it.
• Last night, former FBI Director James Comey was indicted by a federal grand jury, an extraordinary escalation in Dump’s effort to prosecute his political enemies.
• It’s frankly disgusting. Living on a country where a leader would invent crimes to prosecute people he doesn’t like? Might as well be in Stalin-era Soviet Russia.
• Comey is now the first senior government official to face federal charges in one of Dump’s largest grievances: the 2016 investigation into whether his first presidential campaign colluded with Russia.
• He’s been charged with giving false statements and obstruction of a congressional proceeding.
• Dump pressured AG Pam Bondi to drum up criminal charges against his enemies. But even an ass-licker like Bondi has concerns about the case.
• However, Dumpy may be the one paying a big price here.
• Comey posted a video, stating, "My heart is broken for the Department of Justice. I have great confidence in the federal judicial system and I am innocent, so let's have a trial, and keep the faith.”
• Yes… let’s have a trial indeed. A trial where Comey can show the evidence leading to the accusation that Dump has been a puppet for Putin for the past decade.
• For now, let’s move on.
• Dumpy also tried to screw everyone else in the country yesterday, saying that he will put import taxes of 100% on pharmaceutical drugs, 50% on kitchen cabinets and bathroom vanities, 30% on upholstered furniture, and 25% on heavy trucks starting on October 1.
• Dump provides no legal justification for the tariffs, but claimed that the huge new taxes on kitchen cabinets and sofas were needed “for National Security and other reasons.”
• What the actual fuck, you bloated orange sack of diarrhea?
• I’m much more concerned that your prescription drugs are about to double in price.
• In 2024, America imported nearly $233 billion in pharmaceutical and medicinal products. The prospect of prices doubling for many medicines could send shock waves to voters as health care expenses — as well as the costs of Medicare and Medicaid — will massively increase.
• Is that what you voted for, you dipshit MAGA shitheads? 
• Moving on.
• According to the FBI, the gunman who opened fire on an ICE facility in Dallas hated the U.S. government and wanted to incite terror by killing federal agents.
• The gunman, who fatally shot himself, also left behind a note saying that he hoped the attack would “give ICE agents real terror,” said FBI director Kash Patel yesterday.
• The gunman had also allegedly downloaded a document titled “Dallas County Office of Homeland Security & Emergency Management” containing a list of Homeland Security facilities, again per what Patel claims.
• Joshua Jahn, 29, was identified as the shooter by an anonymous law enforcement official. Frankly, Jahn sounds like he was kind of an idiot.
• Also: don’t shoot people.
• Let’s move on. 
• Following up on a story we mentioned yesterday is the highly unusual directive sent from Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, ordering hundreds of the U.S. military’s generals and admirals to gather on short notice — and without a stated reason — at a Marine Corps base in Virginia next week.
• Jebediah Dickless Vance tried to downplay it.
• "It's not particularly unusual that generals who report to the secretary of war and into the President of the United States are coming to speak with the secretary of war. It's actually not unusual at all and I think it's odd that you guys have made it into such a big story."
• And then Dump immediately contradicted Vance, saying it was “A big story.”
• There is a ton of speculation as to the actual reason the USA’s top military leaders are being brought to one place at the same time, which — contrary to Vance’s reply — is 100% extraordinary, and not in a good way.
• I’m not a gossip column, so I’m not going to repeat what’s being said out there. But a lot of it is really… very… bad.
• For now, let’s keep moving on.
• A branch of the National Archives released a mostly unredacted version of Rep. Mikie Sherrill's (D-NJ) military records to Nicholas De Gregorio, an ally of Jack Ciattarelli, her GOP opponent in the New Jersey governor's race.
• The documents included Sherrill's Social Security number — which appears on almost every page — home addresses for her and her parents, life insurance information, Sherrill's performance evaluations, and the nondisclosure agreement between her and the U.S. government to safeguard classified information. 
• The disclosure violates the Privacy Act of 1974 and exemptions established under the Freedom of Information Act. 
• Fucking disgusting cheaters. I hope you good folks in New Jersey get your revenge by ensuring that Sherrill is the next governor of your fine state.
• Moving on.
• Microsoft has terminated a set of services for the Israeli military after an investigation suggested Israel was using the company’s cloud computing technology for mass surveillance of Palestinians.
• Microsoft President Brad Smith said the company had “ceased and disabled a set of services to a unit within the Israel Ministry of Defense.” The move comes after an investigation reported that Israel’s military intelligence unit relied on Microsoft Azure to store millions of phone calls made by Palestinians in Gaza and the occupied West Bank.
• Smith said that Microsoft does not provide technology “to facilitate mass surveillance of civilians,” a principle it has applied “in every country around the world.”
• I can’t say I’m shocked. Israel has shown few ethical actions — or none at all — in its treatment of the people of Palestine.
• Let’s move on with a little good news.
• Republican Ryan Walters, Oklahoma’s top public schools official and a complete Christofascist asshole, is resigning.
• Walters — a giant sycophant of Dumpy — recently pledged to put a Turning Point USA chapter in every high school to honor Charlie Kirk and end what he called “wokeness” in public schools.
• This giant asshole also tried to require social studies teachers to promote conspiracies about the 2020 election, track the immigration status of children in schools, and require applicants for teacher jobs coming from California and New York to pass an exam designed to safeguard what he described as “radical leftist ideology.”
• As if all that wasn’t bad enough, he also issued a mandate that public schoolteachers incorporate the Bible into lesson plans for children in grades 5 though 12.
• This is America, you fucking piece of shit. We have no official religion and and our Constitution expressly forbids the state to force religious teachings in public schools.
• I’m very glad he’s gone.
• Moving on.
• Were you one of the people fooled into thinking you were getting great deals by signing up for Amazon Prime? You might be getting some cash back.
• Yesterday, Amazon agreed to pay $2.5 billion to settle a Federal Trade Commission case over whether it duped customers into signing up for Prime and made it difficult for customers to cancel their membership. 
• As part of the settlement, Amazon will provide $1.5 billion in refunds to customers that were harmed by what FTC referred to as "deceptive Prime enrollment practices." About 35 million Prime customers who were impacted by the practices could qualify for $51 each as part of the settlement.
• Oooh, fifty-one bucks!
• Amazon is also required to pay a $1 billion civil penalty, the largest in any FTC rule violation case to date. The FTC said the $1.5 billion payout to customers is the second highest restitution award in the agency's history. 
• Prime customers who are eligible for the payout include those who may have signed up for a membership via the company's "Single Page Checkout" between June 23, 2019 to June 23, 2025.
• And now, The Weather: “Departure (feat. Rozi Plain)” by Robin Kester
• Let’s do a chart. It’s late September 1983, and I am a sophomore in high school. 10th grade. Not much to report on this period of my life.
• I actually have a diary entry from that very day 42 years ago, but it’s so hideously immature I’m not going to reprint it in full. I will mention that I wasn’t happy about having first period geometry. I did usually have a girlfriend at various points around that time.
• I also had a band that, in retrospect, was really cool. We weren’t good enough to adequately play covers, so instead we did this weird blend of all-original punk and prog rock.
• Meanwhile, some of the pop music was good — MTV was huge — and a lot of it was shit. Here was the top of the Billboard Hot 100 singles chart at the time…
• 1. Tell Her About It (Billy Joel). 2. Total Eclipse Of The Heart (Bonnie Tyler). 3. The Safety Dance (Men Without Hats). 4. Maniac (Michael Sembello). 5. Making Love Out Of Nothing At All (Air Supply). 6. Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This) (Eurythmics). 7. Human Nature (Michael Jackson). 8. Puttin' On The Ritz (Taco). 9. (she's) Sexy + 17 (Stray Cats). 10. Don't Cry (Asia). 11. King Of Pain (The Police). 12. Far From Over (Frank Stallone). 13. True (Spandau Ballet). 14. Promises, Promises (Naked Eyes). 15. Every Breath You Take (The Police). 16. How Am I Supposed To Live Without You (Laura Branigan). 17. Islands In The Stream (Kenny Rogers Duet With Dolly Parton). 18. She Works Hard For The Money (Donna Summer). 19. Lawyers In Love (Jackson Browne). 20. I'll Tumble 4 Ya (Culture Club).
• From the Sports Desk… the Seahawks were handily beating the Cardinals last night until the fourth quarter, when Arizona scored two quick TDs and suddenly the game was tied with second remaining.
• Seattle made an outstanding drive and, with no time remaining, kicked a field goal to win 23-20. Still, it got pretty exciting at the end there.
• Today in history… William II is crowned King of England (1087). Francis Drake finishes his circumnavigation of the Earth in Plymouth, England (1580). The Parthenon in Athens, used as a gunpowder depot by the Ottoman garrison, is partially destroyed (1687). George Washington appoints Thomas Jefferson the first United States Secretary of State (1789). Albert Einstein publishes the third of his Annus Mirabilis papers, introducing the special theory of relativity (1905). The United States Federal Trade Commission is established (1914). The ocean liner RMS Queen Mary is launched (1934). United Nations troops recapture Seoul from North Korean forces (1950). Typhoon Vera, the strongest typhoon to hit Japan in recorded history, makes landfall (1959). In Chicago, the first televised debate takes place between presidential candidates Richard M. Nixon and John F. Kennedy (1960). Abbey Road, the last recorded album by the Beatles, is released (1969). Nolan Ryan sets a Major League record by throwing his fifth no-hitter (1981). The PBS Kids Channel is shut down and replaced by a joint network with Comcast called Sprout (2005). Hurricane Helene makes landfall as a Category 4 hurricane, killing over 250 people and causing US$78.7 billion in damage (2024).
• September 26 is the birthday of gardener/environmentalist Johnny Appleseed (1774), physiologist Ivan Pavlov (1849), photographer/activist Lewis Hine (1874), poet T. S. Eliot (1888), philosopher Martin Heidegger (1889), composer George Gershwin (1898), actor George Raft (1901), fitness expert Jack LaLanne (1914), singer-songwriter/guitarist Marty Robbins (1925), singer-songwriter Brian Ferry (1945), singer Gal Costa (1945), activist Andrea Dworkin (1946), singer-songwriter Olivia Newton-John (1948), musician Cesar Rosas (1954), actress Linda Hamilton (1956), singer-songwriter Darby Crash (1958), sports executive Jeanie Buss (1961), drummer John Tempesta (1964), politician Beto O’Rourke (1972), NHL players Daniel and Henrik Sedin (1980), and tennis player Serena Williams (1981).

Well, I’m not out of news, but I am out of time. Please keep your head up and be aware of the shot going on around you. We’re at a point in history where getting caught by surprise could be lethal to yourself and the ones you love. Be prepared, make plans, and be ready for whatever comes next. I know you can do this. Enjoy your day.