Random News: September 9, 2025

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s September 9, 2025, and it’s a Tuesday. Feeling pretty normal this morning, at least as far as this modern era goes. We have so much news. So, So much. Let’s see how fast my fingers can fly.

• Starting with some utter shit news. Sorry.
• Yesterday, one of the most egregious Supreme Court decisions in the history of the United States was handed down.
• And yes, I’d put this up there with other infamously horrible SCOTUS decisions, including Dred Scott v. Sanford (1857), Plessy v. Ferguson (1896), Buck v. Bell (1927), Korematsu v. United States (1944), Citizens United v. FEC (2010), and Dobbs v. Jackson Women's Health Organization (2022).
• Like those other cases, I believe the shame of this one will affect life in the USA for decades to come.
• On Monday, the Supreme Court cleared the way for federal agents to conduct sweeping immigration operations in Los Angeles where raids can be done to people based solely on their race, language, job, or location.
• So it is now legal in the USA to arrest people because of the color of their skin.
• Kavanaugh tried to make it sound less horrible than it is.
• He wrote, “To be clear, apparent ethnicity alone cannot furnish reasonable suspicion; under this Court’s case law regarding immigration stops, however, it can be a ‘relevant factor’ when considered along with other salient factors.”
• And who determines those alleged other “salient factors”? The ICE goons who are kidnapping people off the streets.
• So now, due to the decision of the SCOTUS’s conservative majority, the restraining order from a judge who found that “roving patrols” were conducting indiscriminate stops in and around LA is now null and void.
• ICE can grab people — whether they’re immigrants (legal or otherwise) or U.S. citizens because they’re brown-skinned and in the wrong place at the wrong time.
• In a brutal dissent joined by her two liberal colleagues, Justice Sonia Sotomayor wrote, “Countless people in the Los Angeles area have been grabbed, thrown to the ground, and handcuffed simply because of their looks, their accents, and the fact they make a living by doing manual labor. Today, the Court needlessly subjects countless more to these exact same indignities.”
• I’m sure I don’t have to mention this, but the ruling was 6-3, with all the racist assholes voting to overturn the lower court’s decision.
• The decision obviously doesn’t just affect Los Angeles. In D.C., New Orleans, Chicago, New York, Baltimore, Seattle, and anywhere else, law enforcement can use this as a precedent to detain and arrest you just based on the suspicion that you might be born elsewhere.
• Because you’re not white. End of fucking story.
• U.S. District Judge Maame E. Frimpong in Los Angeles had found a “mountain of evidence” that enforcement tactics were violating the Constitution. The plaintiffs included U.S. citizens swept up in immigration stops. An appeals court had left Frimpong’s ruling in place.
• But the SCOTUS somehow didn’t see it that way, and ruled in favor of Dump, in favor of racism, and in favor of fascism.
• Do keep in mind: this is the same Supreme Court that banned affirmative action in university admissions, so that it’s illegal to use racial background in determining if someone has a chance to go to college. But they’re okay with racial profiling to be used by law enforcement for a person to get detained in the streets.
• My takeaway is that it’s more and more obvious that certain aspects of what’s happening at the federal level of the USA is no longer acceptable by people of conscience.
• It may be getting closer to the time to make some formal and official distinctions between the former USA and this new United MAGA States.
• Moving on.
• What’s particularly egregious about many of Dump’s action is that they’re not only designed to enrich him personally; they’re also to distract from the fact that he should be behind bars for a number of legitimate and proven reasons.
• Yesterday, the House Oversight Committee released a birthday card handcrafted by Dumpy for convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein on Epstein’s 50th birthday. 
• The birthday message is super fucking weird.
• First of all, Dump’s drawing of the outline of a woman shows her with no arms and with breasts that are about three inches below her collarbones. The man is not a good artist.
• But far weirder was the message over the outline, which I had previously not yet read in full. It’s in center-justified text from a typewriter, and is meant to read like a script.
• Here you go, copy/pasted directly from the card. If I’m forced to be weirded out by Turbo-Perv Don, you have to be as well.
• Voice Over: There must be more to life than having everything.
• Donald: Yes, there is, but I won't tell you what it is.
• Jeffrey: Nor will I, since I also know what it is.
• Donald: We have certain things in common, Jeffrey.
• Jeffrey: Yes, we do, come to think of it.
• Donald: Enigmas never age, have you noticed that?
• Jeffrey: As a matter of fact, it was clear to me the last time I saw you.
• Donald: 
A pal is a wonderful thing. Happy Birthday — and may every day be another wonderful secret
• Donald J. Trump
• EWWWW WTF gross (washes eyeballs). Dumpy has denied creating the message, because who would admit to this weird shit? Not Dumpy, who says it’s “fake”.
• The committee subpoenaed Epstein's estate in August seeking documents and other materials as part of its investigation into the U.S. government's handling of the case.
• The letter from Dump was included in a book put together by Epstein pimp and convicted sex trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell for his birthday in 2003. 
• Rep. Robert Garcia of California, the top Democrat on the House Oversight Committee, said, "It's time for the President to tell us the truth about what he knew and release all the Epstein files. The American people are demanding answers."
• In related news from the Dump-Epstein scandal…
• Yesterday, House Speaker Mike Johnson tried to walk back earlier remarks he made claiming that Dumples the Pedo Clown had been an “FBI informant” in the Jeffrey Epstein case.
• In a tortured explanation after being yelled at, Johnson stammered, “What I was referring to in that long conversation was what the (Epstein) victims’ attorney said. More than a decade ago, President Trump kicked Epstein out of Mar-a-Lago, and he was one of the only people, one of the only prominent people, as everyone has reported… that he was willing to help law enforcement go after this guy who was a disgusting child abuser, sex trafficker, all the allegations. That’s what they heard. So the president was helpful in that.”
• What?
• He lamely added, “I don’t know if I used the right terminology.”
• You suck, Johnson.
• Let’s move on.
• Yesterday, as expected, the Dump administration launched an ICE crackdown in Chicago. The city's mayor, Brandon Johnson, made it clear that he'd "received no notice" of the action ahead of time.
• The launch of "Operation Midway Blitz" (really?) follows weeks of threats from Dump to invade Chicago and other Democrat-run cities. He’s using ICE and likely deploying National Guard troops as part of his cruel agenda to get revenge on a city that hates him.
• Despite Dump's threats, Illinois Gov. JB Pritzker and Mayor Johnson have doubled down on the state and city's sanctuary city policies, which provide protections to undocumented people by barring local police from assisting federal law enforcement activity without a criminal warrant.
• The DHS did not outline details of the operation, such as how long it will run for. Pritzker made it clear that the military invasion was not about fighting crime.
• He said, “That requires support and coordination — yet we've experienced nothing like that over the past several weeks. Instead of taking steps to work with us on public safety, the Trump Administration's focused on scaring Illinoisians."
• So obviously it’s not about crime. We know what it’s actually all about.
• Another hotspot for Dump’s invading forces: Massachusetts.
• Federal immigration officials have launched a new surge of enforcement action in the state. The DHS did not specify how long there would be increased ICE activity there.
• In May, ICE said its agents arrested nearly 1,500 people as part of a month-long crackdown, which they called "Operation Patriot." The latest surge is being called "Patriot 2.0."
• These people are idiots.
• Jillian Phillips, a volunteer with LUCE — a group that runs a hotline to report ICE sightings — said the state is "100%" in the midst of a new enforcement surge.
• She said, “From the Boston area out to western Mass., we are seeing a lot of early morning activity and we are seeing a lot of larger groups of agents. So we just encourage folks to continue to stay aware, to stay vigilant, to know their rights.”
• Good advice.
• A relevant side note via guitarist and political expert Tom Morello, who wrote…
• “I'd like to thank all the 2nd Amendment loving patriots who are caravanning towards Chicago right now to defend the people against a Tyrannical Federal Government that has declared war on a U.S. city!! Thank you for putting aside the racism & white supremacy that has kept you from stepping up until now! Big Government Thugs wanna "tread on" the people! Now’s your time to stop them. Like you talk about.”
• For those who don’t speak the language of sarcasm: there are no caravans. No one is going to Chicago to defend against tyranny. There are no Second Amendment supporters fighting back. They all just laid down and got their faces collectively stepped on, leaving the boot prints of authoritarianism permanently etched upon them, and begged for more.
• Pussy-ass bitches.
• Let’s move on.
• We now know who to blame for the complete clusterfuck of what happened last week at a manufacturing plant in Georgia.
• Tori Branum is the lady who cried wolf to ICE, causing 475 people working legally in the USA to be shackled and caged. By doing so, she single-handedly stopped construction of the new Hyundai-LG plant, which was a $7.6 billion dollar investment that would have created 8,500 new jobs for the people of Georgia.
• Note: Branum is running for office. She’s a former Marine marksmanship instructor, and is registered as a Republican candidate in Georgia’s 12th Congressional District for next year’s midterm elections.
• She’s also a huge self-proclaimed MAGA, supporting everything that Dumpy does.
• And now she feels sorry for herself, facing the backlash of thousands of people not only in her state but across the country.
• Branum claims that she made her false report about the plant to ICE because she thought it was not hiring local Georgia residents.
• Now thousands of people in her state who would have had good-paying and steady employment once the plant opened… have no jobs at all.
• That’s MAGA for you. Let’s be honest: had those plant construction workers been white, she would have never picked up the phone to report them.
• Moving on to news from the International Desk…
• France is, once again, losing a prime minister.
• François Bayrou submitted his resignation today after losing a crushing confidence vote in parliament.
• In just 14 months, it’s the third toppling of a head of government in the country. Bayrou, 74, lasted just nine months in office. Even that was three times longer than his predecessor.
• What was his blunder? He gambled on a budget demanding over €40 billion in savings. The plan froze welfare, cut civil-service jobs, and even scrapped two public holidays that many French see as part of their national rhythm.
• And all that united his enemies. The far right of Marine Le Pen and a left-wing alliance voted him down, 364 to 194. Polls showed most French wanted him gone.
• C'est la vie. Au revoir, Bayrou.
• In other news…
• Some information that most people could have predicted: the U.S. job market was much weaker in 2024 and early this year than originally reported, adding to concerns about the health of the nation’s economy.
• Today, the Labor Department reported that employers added 911,000 fewer jobs than originally reported from April 2024 through March.
• The department issues these so-called benchmark revisions every year. They are intended to better account for new businesses and ones that had gone out of business.
• The revision showed that leisure and hospitality firms — including hotels and restaurants — added 176,000 fewer jobs than originally reported, professional and business services companies 158,000 fewer, and retailers 126,000 fewer.
• And this report comes after the department reported Friday that the economy generated just 22,000 jobs in August, adding to fears that Dumpy’s moronic and erratic economic policies — including massive and unpredictable taxes on imports — have created so much uncertainty that businesses are reluctant to hire.
• Fucking douchebag.
• Let’s just keep on moving on. What else can we do?
• Yesterday, the New Orleans Archdiocese agreed to a $230 million proposed settlement for survivors of clergy sexual abuse. The agreement paves the way for a final resolution to yearslong negotiations amid a series of similar settlements from the Catholic Church.
• The archdiocese had announced in May that it would pay at least $179.2 million in response to more than 500 abuse claims — a number that still lowballed the hundreds of survivors.
• Survivors have until late October to vote on whether or not to approve the settlement. If approved by two-thirds of survivors, payments could begin disbursement by next year.
• “Imagine there's no countries / It isn't hard to do / Nothing to kill or die for / And no religion, too.” - John Lennon
• Moving on.
• Today’s AOTDOTD (Asshole Of The Day Other Than Dump) is Quentin Andrew Whaley of Searcy, AR.
• Whaley has been a huge MAGA guy, posting a stream of hateful social media content that supported Dump’s cruel immigration actions, and disparaged transgender people.
• So I guess it’s no big shock that after a search warrant was executed at Whaley’s home, he’s being charged with 60 counts of distributing, possessing, or viewing matter depicting sexually explicit conduct involving a child. His bail was set at $150,000.
• And that’s what I want to drive home. When you see these people and their alleged “alpha male” MAGA propaganda, it’s often the case that they are overcompensating for the exact things that they themselves are guilty of… be it something as minor as being gay to something egregious as being a pedophile.
• So fuck Quentin Whaley, today’s asshole. 
• Moving on to a note from the Entertainment Desk…
• SNL has finalized their cast for Season 51.
• Staying: Bowen Yang, Ego Nwodim, Chloe Fineman, Kenan Thompson (for his record-breaking 23rd season), Mikey Day, Sarah Sherman, Marcello Hernández, Andrew Dismukes, James Austin Johnson, and last year’s rookies Ashley Padilla and Jane Wickline.
• Colin Jost and Michael Che are also returning for their 12th season together behind the “Weekend Update” desk.
• Going: Heidi Gardner, Devon Walker, Michael Longfellow and Emil Wakim. Plus, the show split up the sketch comedy trio “Please Don’t Destroy,” as Martin Herlihy moves to the writing staff and John Higgins leaves the show.
• New: The other “Please Don’t Destroy” guy Ben Marshall has been upped to the main cast, and the show is also adding four fresh faces: Tommy Brennan, Jeremy Culhane, Kam Patterson, and Veronika Slowikowska.
• So there you go. “Saturday Night Live” returns to NBC on October 4.
• And now, The Weather: “Born At Night” by Pile
• Let’s do a chart.
• It’s early September 1975, 50 years ago today. I’m six years old and have recently moved to Rancho Palos Verdes, CA from Marblehead, MA. The following week, I’ll be starting second grade.
• Whoa, wait a sec. Isn’t six a little young for second grade? Why yes, yes it is. See, I skipped Kindergarten because my scholastic aptitude was off the charts, and they threw me straight into first grade.
• So what ended up happening was the I was a full year younger than all of my classmates my entire time going all the way through high school.
• It was a problem from time to time. And I also tended to lie about my age to better align with my classmates. of course now, I’m still a year younger than all those old fucks. Ha ha bitches! I’m only 56 while you’re all old and 57. How you like me now?
• Here’s the top of the Billboard 200 albums chart at the time.
• 1. The Heat Is On (The Isley Brothers). 2. Red Octopus (Jefferson Starship). 3. Between The Lines (Janis Ian). 4. Captain Fantastic And The Brown Dirt Cowboy (Elton John). 5. One Of These Nights (Eagles). 6. Honey (Ohio Players). 7. The Basement Tapes (Bob Dylan And The Band). 8. Cat Stevens Greatest Hits (Cat Stevens). 9. That's The Way Of The World (Soundtrack) (Earth, Wind & Fire). 10. Fandango! (ZZ Top). 11. Toys In The Attic (Aerosmith). 12. Melissa (Melissa Manchester). 13. Pick Of The Litter (The Spinners). 14. Cut The Cake (Average White Band). 15. Fleetwood Mac (Fleetwood Mac). 16. No Way To Treat A Lady (Helen Reddy). 17. Love Will Keep Us Together (Captain & Tennille). 18. Main Course (Bee Gees). 19. Gorilla (James Taylor). 20. Non-stop (B.T. Express).

• From the Sports Desk… last night was the first Monday Night Football game of the new season.
• For a good while, the Bears were holding up against the Vikings… until the 4th quarter, when Minnesota scored 21 unanswered points, and beat Chicago 27-24.
• So — as one would expect — after Week 1 of the new NFL season, half the teams are tied for first, and the other half tied for last.
• Today in history… Christopher Columbus, with 17 ships and 1,200 men, sails on his second voyage from Cadiz (1493). Mary Stuart, at nine months old, is crowned "Queen of Scots” (1543). Thomas Cavendish in his ship Desire completes the first deliberately planned voyage of circumnavigation (1588). The Continental Congress officially names its union of states the United States (1776). Washington, D.C., the capital of the United States, is named after President George Washington (1791). John Herschel takes the first glass plate photograph (1839). California is admitted as the thirty-first U.S. state (1850). George Stibitz pioneers the first remote operation of a computer (1940). The WWII Allies land at Salerno and Taranto, Italy (1943). First case of a computer bug happens when a moth lodges in a relay of a Harvard Mark II computer at Harvard University (1947). Kim Il-sung declares the establishment of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea, aka North Korea (1948). Elvis Presley appears on The Ed Sullivan Show for the first time (1956). The four-day Attica Prison riot begins (1971). Elizabeth II becomes the longest reigning monarch of the United Kingdom (2015).
• September 9 is the birthday of Roman emperor Aurelian (214), Roman emperor Honorius (384), politician Cardinal Richelieu (1585), admiral/politician William Bligh (1754), author Leo Tolstoy (1828), businessman Colonel Sanders (1890), actor Cliff Robertson (1923), singer-songwriter Otis Redding (1941), bass player Bruce Palmer (1946), NFL player Joe Theismann (1949), singer-songwriter/guitarist/producer Dave Stewart (1952), actor Hugh Grant (1960), NBA player Dan Majerle (1965), actor/producer Adam Sandler (1966), singer-songwriter Michael Bublé (1975), NBA player Shane Battier (1978), and NFL player Ricky Pearsall (2000).

As usual, that’s not all the news. That’s a part of the news that I know about, which is in itself only a small fraction of what’s actually going on in the world. But maybe you found out something, or had something confirmed, or now can pass along pieces of info that you find important. Do whatever you want… it’s a free country (he said, knowing that now it is definitely not a free country by any definition). Enjoy your day.