Random News: April 30, 2024

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s April 30, 2024, and it’s a Tuesday. yesterday was a super Monday, in that I found myself getting slammed with work stuff damn near every minute from sunup to sundown. I’m hoping today is slightly more chill, though you never know. Let’s start this Tuesday with a look around this world to see what’s going on.

• Testimony continues today in the criminal hush money trial of Donnie Dump, but the court had some other business to handle first.
• Judge Merchan found that the former president and current accused felon violated a gag order nine times, fining him a total of $9,000. He also warned that Dump could be jailed if he continued to violate the gag order.
• Merchan wrote that Trump “is hereby warned that the Court will not tolerate continued willful violations of its lawful orders and that if necessary and appropriate under the circumstances, it will impose an incarceratory punishment.”
• He also stated, quite accurately, that it is a shame that he was limited by law to the maximum of $1,000 per violation, writing that it’s basically pointless in a. situation where a person held in contempt “can easily afford such a fine.”
• Today’s testimony is expected to include the third prosecution witness, Gary Farro, a banker who helped Trump’s former attorney Michael Cohen open accounts.
• Moving on.
• Tomorrow, one of the nation’s most brutal abortion laws since the fall of Roe v. Wade goes into effect in Florida.
• The cruel six-week abortion law signed by Gov. Ron DeSantis (R) last year and confirmed by the Florida Supreme Court earlier this month takes effect Wednesday.
• They chose the six-week cutoff intentionally; it’s before most women are aware or can confirm they are pregnant.
• Last year, more than 84,000 people got abortions in Florida, more than in almost any other state.
• Starting tomorrow, the closest abortion clinic for someone living at Florida’s southernmost tip will be a 14-hour drive away in Charlotte. A patient whose pregnancy has progressed beyond 12 weeks, the point at which North Carolina bans abortion, will have to drive 17 hours, to southern Virginia.
• This November, voters in Florida will have the power to vote for a referendum to enshrine women’s reproductive rights in their state’s constitution.
• Women and other Floridians will also have the opportunity to vote a good number of the people who made those laws out of office.
• But this isn’t just a red/blue, Democrat/Republican issue. People across party lines overwhelmingly support the rights of women to not be forced to give birth.
• Vote accordingly.
• In other news…
• A big win for transgender rights yesterday when a federal appellate court became the first in the country to rule that state health-care plans must pay for gender-affirming surgeries.
• The decision came from a set of cases out of North Carolina and West Virginia, where state officials argued that their policies were based on cost concerns rather than bias.
• The U.S. Court of Appeals for the 4th Circuit rejected that argument, saying the plans were discriminating against trans people in need of treatment.
• Correct. Well done, 4th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals, who ruled 8-6 in the case.
• Moving on.
• Yesterday, Israeli officials said they had reduced the number of hostages they were asking Hamas to free in exchange for a temporary cease-fire in the war in Gaza.
• It’s a sign that the two sides might be inching closer to agreeing on their first truce in five months. A new round of cease-fire negotiations could begin as soon as today.
• The details of the negotiation are a reduction of Israeli hostages from 40 to 33, in exchange for a 40-day cease-fire and the release of potentially thousands of Palestinian prisoners.
• The decision is in the hands of Hamas now.
• Let’s move on.
• We spoke extensively about Ralph Earl last year. He’s the teenager who was shot in the face when he went to the wrong house and knocked on the door to pick up his younger twin brothers.
• His family filed a civil lawsuit in Missouri yesterday against the accused shooter, Andrew Lester, and the homeowner’s association where he lives. Lester’s criminal trial is set to begin on October 7.
• The 85-year-old was charged with one count of felony assault in the first degree in connection to the April 13, 2023 shooting and one count of armed criminal action, also a felony. Lester pleaded not guilty and was released on $200,000 bond.
• Yarl, who is now 17, suffered a traumatic brain injury (TBI) from the shooting.
• In other news…
• I don’t know why I’m bothering with still talking about this guy, but former Dump adviser Peter Navarro was shot down yet again by the Supreme Court yesterday.
• Navarro is currently serving time in prison over his contempt of Congress conviction. He’d already submitted an emergency request last month that was denied by Chief Justice John Roberts, forcing Navarro to report to prison on March 19.
• Then he tried re-submitting it. No, I’m not kidding. Justice Neil Gorsuch referred the request to the full court, which then denied the request without comment.
• Ha ha! Just serve your four stupid months, you whiny baby shithead.
• Moving on.
• The fierce political fallout from South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem (R) having shot her sweet puppy Cricket in the head has crossed party lines.
• Apparently the reason why Noem wrote about it in her book was clear: there were witnesses who watched her, in a fit of rage at the rambunctious pup, pull out her weapon and blow the dog’s brains out.
• The story was going to come out anyway as Noem grew closer to being Donald Trump’s Republican vice-presidential nominee, so she tried to control the narrative.
• It didn’t work. I would ask the people of South Dakota to consider how continuing to elect Noem to your state’s highest office reflects on you as people.
• I’d really prefer to not mention this again — it make me physically ill to think about — so let’s move on.
• Here’s another story about an animal, though one with a slightly better ending.
• Clarence Yoder of Idaho Falls, ID was visiting Yellowstone National Park and decided to kick a bison.
• The bison then injured Yoder. There’s no specific information on what the injury was, though I was hoping he was gored in the testicles.
• Anyway, park rangers arrested and jailed him after he was treated for his injuries. He was charged with being under the influence of alcohol, disorderly conduct, and approaching and disturbing wildlife.
• Leave animals alone, you fucking assholes.
• Jesus. Let’s do a happy story.
• The $1.3 billion Powerball jackpot was won by a man in Oregon named Cheng “Charlie” Saephan. He’s a 46-year-old immigrant from Laos.
• Saephan has been fighting cancer for eight years, undergoing chemotherapy treatments.
• What will do with his winnings? He merely wants to find a good doctor, and is relieved that he’ll be able to provide for his family.
• Interesting side note: Saephan is Iu Mein, a southeast Asian ethnic group with roots in southern China.
• Many Iu Mein were subsistence farmers who aided Americans during the Vietnam war, recruited by the CIA and U.S. military to engage in guerrilla warfare and to provide intelligence and surveillance to disrupt the Ho Chi Minh Trail that the North Vietnamese used to send troops and weapons through Laos and Cambodia into South Vietnam.
• After the war, many lu Mein people fled to Thailand to avoid retribution, and eventually resettled in the US.
• Okay, back to annoying news.
• Did you buy any N-95 masks during the pandemic that you still use or have around? Better give them a look.
• The Federal Trade Commission announced yesterday that a company called Razer and its affiliates advertised the Zephyr mask as N95-grade despite never submitting it for testing or certification by the Food and Drug Administration or National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health.
• The Zephyr masks were touted as the equivalent of an N95 that would protect users from COVID.
• Now they must refund more than $1.1 million to customers nationwide.
• Fuck that company. Can you imagine if you had a friend or relative who died of COVID after relying on those masks?
• And now, The Weather: “Caméra” by Corridor
• From the Sports Desk… Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs — known to many of you as Taylor Swift’s boyfriend — just became the top-paid tight end in the NFL. I thought you might like to know the current highest-paid player (based on their pay per year averaged over the next three years) at each position.
• Offense: Quarterback Joe Burrow (Bengals) - $62.9 million, Running Back Christian McCaffrey (49ers) - $17.2 million, Wide Receiver A.J. Brown (Eagles) - $32 million, Tight End Travis Kelce (Chiefs) - $17.1 million, Offensive Tackle Penei Sewell (Lions) - $28 million, Guard Chris Lindstrom (Hawks) - $21.8 million, Center Frank Ragnow (Lions) - $14 million.
• Defense: Cornerback Jaire Alexander (Packers) - $21.8 million, Safety Derwin James Jr. (Chargers) - $19.6 million, Edge Rusher Nick Bosa (49ers) - $34.7 million, Defensive Tackle Chris Jones (Chiefs) - $31.7 million, Linebacker Roquan Smith (Ravens) - $20 million.
• Special Teams: Kicker Justin Tucker (Ravens) - $6.2 million, Long Snapper Luke Rhodes (Colts) - $1.67 million, Punter Michael Dickson (Seahawks) - $3.9 million.
• If you were wondering about the highest total guaranteed money in the NFL, that would go to Browns QB Deshaun Watson, who will take home $230 million regardless of any other factor.
• Today in history… Henry IV of France issues the Edict of Nantes, allowing freedom of religion to the Huguenots (1598). On the balcony of Federal Hall on Wall Street in New York City, George Washington takes the oath of office to become the first President of the United States (1789). The United States purchases the Louisiana Territory from France for $15 million, more than doubling the size of the young nation (1803). The Territory of Orleans becomes the 18th U.S. state under the name Louisiana (1812). J. J. Thomson announces his discovery of the electron as a subatomic particle, over 1,800 times smaller than a proton, at a lecture at the Royal Institution in London (1897). Hawaii becomes a territory of the United States, with Sanford B. Dole as governor (1900). Automaker Dodge Brothers, Inc is sold to Dillon, Read & Co. for $146 million plus $50 million for charity (1925). NBC inaugurates its regularly scheduled television service in New York City, broadcasting President Franklin D. Roosevelt's N.Y. World's Fair opening day ceremonial address (1939). Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun commit suicide after being married for less than 40 hours (1945). In Nevada, Boulder Dam is renamed Hoover Dam (1947). U.S. President Richard Nixon announces that White House Counsel John Dean has been fired and that other top aides, most notably H. R. Haldeman and John Ehrlichman, have resigned (1973). CERN announces World Wide Web protocols will be free (1993). U.S. media release graphic photos of American soldiers committing war crimes against Iraqi prisoners at Abu Ghraib prison (2004). Chrysler files for Chapter 11 bankruptcy (2009). 
• April 30 is the birthday of my 19th great-grandmother, noblewoman Anne of Glouster (1383), physicist Carl Friedrich Gauss (1777), dentist Mary Haviland Stilwell Kuesel (1866), memoirist Alice B. Toklas (1877), actress Cloris Leachman (1926), author Larry Niven (1938), actress Jill Clayburgh (1944), singer-songwriter/activist Mimi Fariña (1945), guitarist/singer-songwriter Wayne Kramer (1948), NBA player Isiah Thomas (1961), singer-songwriter/pianist Amanda Palmer (1976), NBA player Luis Scola (1980), actress Gal Gadot (1985), and singer-songwriter Mac DeMarco (1990).

That’s plenty of news for now. Side note: there’s always way more news that I don’t cover here than the news I have time to include in the allocated hour I spend each morning. You can always seek out more info on your own than whatever they feed you on your TV. Enjoy your day.

Random News: April 29, 2024

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s April 29, 2024, and it’s a Monday. I’m up and about, as I tend to be, and trying to get my brain working after a weekend of mostly nothingness. You know what helps rev up the ol’ synapses? Seeing what’s happening in the world. Let’s do that.

• Yesterday, President Biden spoke with Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu of Israel to discuss the prospects of a possible cease-fire deal to secure the release of hostages held by Hamas, while repeating his warnings about a new Israeli assault on the city of Rafah in southern Gaza.
• The call was meant to pave the way for Secretary of State Antony Blinken, who left Washington just a few hours earlier for his latest trip to the Middle East with the goal of scaling back the war in Gaza.
• Blinken will meet in Saudi Arabia with Egyptian and Qatari officials who have served as intermediaries with Hamas in the cease-fire and hostage talks, which remain in a stalemate. Blinken will also stop in Jordan and Israel. 
• Let’s hope for the best. This whole thing would settle down a lot faster if Hamas could release more hostages and Israel could slow down on the killing of Palestinians.
• Shrug. It’s up to them.
• Meanwhile, there is a flurry of talk that the International Criminal Court may issue arrest warrants against Israeli officials, including Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu.
• The ICC is looking at possible war crimes committed by both sides in the conflict.
• While neither Israel nor the United States accept the ICC’s jurisdiction, any warrants could put Israeli officials at risk of arrest in other countries.
• They would also serve as a major rebuke of Israel’s actions at a time when pro-Palestinian protests have spread across U.S. college campuses.
• Moving on.
• Yesterday, Republican vice-presidential hopeful Governor Kristi Noem tried to justify her actions of having shot and killed Cricket, her 14-month-old puppy, by saying that it was legal at the time under South Dakota state law.
• I’m sure everyone will be fine with it then.
• Moving on.
• Donnie Dump is suddenly worried about Robert F. Kennedy Jr.
• On Friday, someone probably explained to Dumpy how RFK’s ridiculous independent run for president was siphoning votes at an equal rate from both Dem and Republican voter bases, per recent polls.
• I wont reprint Dump’s moronic rant, but among other things he said that a vote for the independent candidate would be a “wasted protest vote” and that he’d “even take Biden over Junior.”
• A Quinnipiac poll of registered voters this week shows support for Kennedy at 16 percent, with Trump and Biden deadlocked at 37 percent each, and Green Party candidate Jill Stein and independent Cornel West both receiving 3 percent support.
• And the scary part for the Dumpster: more Republican voters find RFK Jr. favorable than Democrats — 44 percent of Republican voters expressed a favorable opinion of Kennedy, compared to just 11 percent of Democrats.
• Hmm. So that’ll be interesting come November.
• Moving on.
• Here’s some irony for you…
• Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) is doubling down on her commitment to oust Speaker Mike Johnson (R-LA), saying his days in the leadership position are “numbered” as House members await a potential privileged vote on a motion to vacate.
• Greene is mad because the Speaker allowed the vote for aid to Ukraine to pass. That probably upset her Russian supporters. She already filed a motion to remove Johnson and two other GOP lawmakers have already backed it.
• But the only way it would gain traction is for every Democrat to support her effort. Is it funny, thinking of Sporky having to pander to Democrats to accomplish her nefarious goals?
• I think it’s funny.
• Needless to say, that won’t be happening. The Dems don’t work with chaos agents backed by the Kremlin.
• We’re not huge fans of Johnson ether, I should note, but he received widespread praise from leaders in both parties this month after muscling both the high profile foreign aid and FISA bills through the House this month.
• In other news…
• I have yet to cover any of the insane shit revolving around Minnesota state Sen. Nicole Mitchell (D).
• She was charged last with burglary after being found dressed in all black in the basement of her stepmother's home. She confessed to breaking into the home to retrieve her father's ashes and other sentimental items after her stepmother stopped speaking to her.
• On social media, Mitchell denied the allegations, saying she was at the house to check on a family member with Alzheimer's. Mitchell, who has also been a TV meteorologist and a commander with the Air National Guard, was elected in 2022 and is in the midst of her first term.
• Yesterday, it was announced that she will be removed from her committee assignments and caucus meetings while those bizarre allegations against her play out in both a Senate and legal investigation.
• Probably a good idea. Moving on.
• Today, Columbia University president Minouche Shafik said that talks with student protest organizers have stalled, and that the university will not divest from Israel — a demand that has sparked protests on college campuses across the country. 
• She asked for those in encampment protests on campus to voluntarily disperse, saying the demonstration had created “an unwelcoming environment for many of our Jewish students and faculty.”
• If Columbia doesn’t arrive at some agreement with the protestors, it’s quite possible that their commencement, scheduled for May 15, will be canceled as has been the case at other schools like USC.
• In other news, a program that has helped low-income Americans be able to access the internet is running out of funds, and will likely soon be gone altogether.
• The popular federal benefit known as the Affordable Connectivity Program (ACP), which covers home internet service, provides up to $30 of monthly credits from the government.
• It may not seem like a lot, but for Americans subsiding on Social Security disability payments, it can make the difference between being able to connect with the world and being isolated.
• Most of the beneficiaries are folks in rural areas and red states, and use their internet for everything from typical school, work, and entertainment to telemedicine, visiting their grandkids, and going to church online.
• The collapse of the ACP in May will affect nearly 60 million individual Americans. The program is heavily used by Americans over age 50, military veterans, and low-income working families nationwide.
• President Biden and congressional Democrats have blamed Republicans on Capitol Hill for blocking legislation that would extend the ACP, even as many red congressional districts have received millions of dollars from the program.
• I think that at this point, internet service is essential for a normal modern life, and should be considered like any basic utility.
• Fix that shit and get it paid for, Republicans. Jesus.
• And now, The Weather: “motorway” by Goat Girl
• I don’t have to tell you that severe weather has been a huge problem in many areas of the country over the past few days, and continues today.
• Global climate change will continue to drive stronger storms and higher heat in nearly every place on Earth, and they will keep getting worse. Stay prepared for that, peoples.
• Let’s do a chart. Rewinding back to late April 1983, when I was a freshman in high school, here are the videos being played on MTV.
• This is the heavy rotation (3-4 plays/day) list: “Cuts Like A Knife” (Brian Adams), Der Kommissar (After The Fire), Photograph (Def Leppard), Red Skies (The Fixx), The One Thing (INXS), Beat It (Michael Jackson), Billie Jean (Michael Jackson), Separate Ways (Journey), Overkill (Men At Work), I Melt With You (Modern English), Why Me (Planet P), A World Of Fantasy (Triumph), New Years Day (U2).
• Seems about right.
• From the Sports Desk… since we looked at basketball playoffs yesterday, let’s catch up on the NHL’s first round playoff status.
• Atlantic Division: Panthers lead Lightning 3-1; Bruins lead the Maple Leafs 3-1.
• Metropolitan Division: Rangers have swept the Caps 4-0; Canes lead the Islanders 3-1.
• Central Division: Knights lead the Stars 2-1; Avs lead the Jets 3-1.
• Pacific Division: Canucks lead the Preds 3-1; Oilers lead the Kings 3-1.
• Today in history… Joan of Arc arrives to relieve the Siege of Orléans (1429). James Cook arrives in Australia at Botany Bay, which he names (1770). Maryland's House of Delegates votes not to secede from the Union (1861). The Parliament of the United Kingdom passes the People's Budget, the first budget in British history with the expressed intent of redistributing wealth among the British public (1910). SOE agent Nancy Wake, a leading figure in the French Resistance and the Gestapo's most wanted person, parachutes back into France to be a liaison between London and the local maquis group (1944). Adolf Hitler marries his longtime partner Eva Braun in a Berlin bunker (1945). The controversial musical ‘Hair’ opens at the Biltmore Theatre on Broadway (1968). United States President Richard Nixon announces the release of edited transcripts of White House tape recordings relating to the Watergate scandal (1974). Riots in Los Angeles following the acquittal of police officers charged with excessive force in the beating of Rodney King, and over the next three days 63 people are killed and hundreds of buildings are destroyed (1992). The final Oldsmobile is built in Lansing, Michigan, ending 107 years of vehicle production (2004).
• April 29 is the birthday of physician/polymath John Arbuthnot (1667), mathematician/physicist Henri Poincaré (1854), publisher William Randolph Hearst (1863), immunologist Michael Heidelberger (1888), pianist/composer Duke Ellington (1899), Japan emperor Hirohito (1901), harmonica player Toots Thielemans (1922), singer-songwriter Lonnie Donegan (1931), singer-songwriter Willie Nelson (1933), singer-songwriter/guitarist Otis Rush (1935), felon Bernie Madoff (1938), politician Debbie Stabenow (1950), race car driver Dale Earnhardt (1951), comedian/actor Jerry Seinfeld (1954), actor Leslie Jordan (1955), actress Kate Mulgrew (1955), actor Daniel Day-Lewis (1957), actress Michelle Pfeiffer (1958), actress Eve Plumb (1958), actor Federico Castelluccio (1964), tennis player Andre Agassi (1970), actress Uma Thurman (1970), NFL player Jay Cutler (1983), and NHL player Jonathan Toews (1988).

Welp, time to Monday. I’ll be Mondaying all day. That’s fine. Enjoy your day.

Random News: April 28, 2024

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s April 28, 2024, and it’s a Sunday. I’m trying to get my brain working enough to look through the news, but I need several more sips of this Peet’s coffee first. Sip. Sip. Sip. Okay, let’s do this.

• The big story in the USA continues to be the coast-to-coast demonstrations at college campuses, with students protesting the Israel-Hamas war. I suppose we should take the opportunity on a Sunday morning for a deeper dive.
• As you’re well aware, the hostilities began as a result of the actions of terrorist organization Hamas, who launched a deadly attack on southern Israel on October 7, 2023, when militants killed about 1,200 people, most of them civilians, and took roughly 250 hostages.
• Israel vowed to stamp out Hamas once and for all, and launched an offensive in Gaza. Since then, Israel has killed more than 34,000 Palestinians in the Gaza Strip, with the majority of them being women and children who are not part of any terror organization.
• Israel’s indiscriminate killing of civilians has been perceived by some as actions that could be seen as genocidal.
• The students therefore are protesting the war by demanding that schools cut financial ties to Israel and divest from companies accused of enabling the conflict.
• Israel and its supporters have branded the university protests as antisemitic, while critics of Israel say it uses such allegations to silence opponents.
• There have been instances caught on camera of people making antisemitic remarks or violent threats. But organizers of the protests, some of whom are Jewish, say it is a peaceful movement aimed at defending Palestinian rights and protesting the war.
• It’s not just students. As has often been the case, school faculty members have joined the students in their protests.
• At universities in California, Georgia, and Texas, faculty have initiated or passed votes of no confidence in their leadership.
• The protests themselves are being done occupy-style, meaning that at many schools, the students and organizers have set up encampments in common spaces and buildings.
• From what I can tell, the protests — while inconvenient for people trying to just attend class and such — are mostly peaceful.
• Until the cops arrive. Then they tend to get ugly.
• As I mentioned yesterday, most of these people interacting with law enforcement seem shocked about their due process rights being violated and such.
• Well… welcome to the real world, kids.
• There have been hundreds of arrests nationwide, especially in the past few days. Some schools have cancelled graduation ceremonies; others have gone fully online for the rest of the semester.
• Anti-war protests at colleges have been around for generations. And so have clashes between authority groups and protestors.
• One might harken back to May 4, 1970, when four unarmed students were shot and killed (and nine more wounded) by the Ohio National Guard on the Kent State University campus. 
• They’d been peacefully protesting the expanding involvement of the Vietnam War into Cambodia by United States military forces, and then protesting the presence of National Guard troops on their campus.
• So they were shot.
• I will, just for the sake of being a good American, remind you about the First Amendment to the US Constitution.
• “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”
• Assembling is legal. Protest is legal. We are guaranteed that right as Americans.
• Every protest I’ve ever done has been inspiring and invigorating. If you’ve never protested for or against something that was meaningful to you, I highly recommend it.
• Anyway, that pretty much brings you up to speed. If anything, the protests are still expanding. Let’s just hope that it doesn’t turn into a Kent State-type situation anywhere.
• Moving on.
• Once each week, we do our Sunday Gunday report, listing just some of the gun-related violence in the USA over the previous 24 hours.
• We started Sunday Gunday when a person I don’t know questioned whether my reports of gun violence incidents were based on fact. What better way to be specific than to actually list them?
• Three shot dead in a car outside a party in Escambia County, FL. Two dead, four injured in a shooting at the Market Square Fiesta event in San Antonio, TX. One woman dead, three others injured in a shooting at a house party in Tucson, AZ. One woman dead and two men injured (one self-inflicted) in a murder-suicide attempt at the Merchants Walk shopping plaza in Lilburn, GA. One woman dead and another wounded in a shooting in the Winton Hills neighborhood of Cincinnati, OH. A woman shot dead in downtown San Jose, CA. One dead in a domestic incident in the Hickory Hill region of Memphis, TN. One shot dead accidentally by his drunk friend in South Sioux City, NE. One dead in a shooting at a bar in Clarksville, TN. One dead in a shooting in Stockton, CA, One dead in a shooting in northeast Tallahassee, FL. One dead in a shooting in northeast Moss Point, MS. One dead in a shooting in northeast Baton Rouge, LA. One dead in a shooting at a parking lot in Durham, NC. One shot dead in a street in Goldsboro, NC. A 77-year-old shot dead in Columbus, GA. A teenager shot dead by another in Worcester, MA. A woman shot dead at a home in South Euclid, OH. 10 people shot at a bar in Sanford, FL. Four men and two women wounded in a shooting at a nightclub in Washington, D.C. Three shot, including a bystander hit by a stray, after an argument in a barbershop in Mobile, AL. Two shot, one critically, in Kenner, LA. Two wounded in a shooting in southeast Denver, CO. Two wounded, ages 14 and 19, in a shooting Saturday in the Belmont Cragin community in Chicago, IL. One in critical condition after being shot at a Walgreens in the Logan Square neighborhood of Chicago, IL One seriously injured in a shooting in Salt Lake City, UT. One seriously injured in a shooting in Minneapolis, MN. One wounded in a shooting at a trailer park in West Palm Beach, FL. A woman “accidentally” shot at McFee Park in Farragut, TN.
• And many more. I just can’t list these all day.
• Again, that’s just for Friday and Saturday, America’s favorite days to shoot and possibly kill each other.
• Don’t like it? You can slow it way down or maybe even come close to stopping it altogether. Ask me how.
• Moving on.
• Last night was the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, and Biden did pretty well in his comic performance. Remember, it’s sort of rare that you have a President who’s capable of being funny.
• Obama could do it. Reagan could definitely do it. Clinton was okay. Most of Biden’s barbs were aimed exactly where you’d assume they’d be coming into a national election.
• Here are some of Joe’s better quips.
• “The 2024 election is in full swing. And yes, age is an issue. I’m a grown man running against a six year old.”
• “Age is the only thing we have in common. My vice president actually endorses me.”
• “Trump is so desperate he started reading those Bibles he’s selling. And he got to the first commandment: You shall have no other god before me. That’s when he put it down and said this book is not for me.”
• I liked this one about SNL show runner Lorne Michaels, who was in attendance: “I know you’re looking around, saying this guy’s been doing this for 50 years. He’s had his moment. Give someone else a chance. To that I say, Lorne, ignore the critics.”
• Speaking of SNL, the show’s head writer and “Weekend Update” anchor Colin Jost, who was the emcee of the event, finished his remarks with a touching and heartfelt story.
• Jost told President Biden about his 95-year-old grandfather, a longtime fireman in Staten Island, NY, who voted Democrat in the 2020 presidential election even though that borough of New York City is known to favor Republicans.
• “He voted for you, and the reason that he voted for you is because you’re a decent man. My grandpa voted for decency, and decency is why we’re all here tonight.”
• Well said.
• Let’s move on.
• The Louvre is the world's most-visited museum, bringing in 8-10 million people last year, and the Mona Lisa is by far its biggest attraction. The museum receives some 20-30,000 visitors daily.
• I’ve been there. It’s an amazing experience.
• But many museum-goers complain about waiting in line for hours, the stuffy conditions, and only getting to spend a few seconds viewing the painting, which is housed behind bulletproof glass.
• So Lisa is on the move.
• The Louvre's director, Laurence des Cars, said her institution is now looking at upgrading both the conditions surrounding Leonardo da Vinci's iconic Renaissance painting, as well as the overall visitor experience.
• The plan involves moving the painting, which is worth more than $830 million by some estimates, into a separate underground room. Currently, the Mona Lisa shares a large room with other artworks.
• Cool, I guess. Maybe I’ll get my ass back to Paris again at some point and check it out.
• And now, The Weather: “Let Go” by juicer
• Let’s do a chart. It’s the end of April 1975, and the music is pretty varied and good. 
• 1. (Hey Won't You Play) Another Somebody Done Somebody Wrong Song (B.J. Thomas), 2. Philadelphia Freedom (The Elton John Band). 3. He Don't Love You (Like I Love You) (Tony Orlando & Dawn). 4.. Lovin' You (Minnie Riperton). 5. Supernatural Thing - Part I (Ben E. King). 6. Chevy Van (Sammy Johns). 7. Before The Next Teardrop Falls (Freddy Fender). 8. Emma (Hot Chocolate). 9. What Am I Gonna Do With You (Barry White). 10. Walking In Rhythm (The Blackbyrds). 11. Shining Star (Earth, Wind & Fire). 12. Long Tall Glasses (I Can Dance) (Leo Sayer). 13. L-O-V-E (Love) (Al Green). 14. Jackie Blue (Ozark Mountain Daredevils). 15. I Don't Like To Sleep Alone (Paul Anka with Odia Coates). 16. The Bertha Butt Boogie-Part 1 (The Jimmy Castor Bunch). 17. It's A Miracle (Barry Manilow). 18. Killer Queen (Queen). 19. How Long (Ace). 20. Stand By Me (John Lennon).
• From the Sports Desk… an update on the NBA playoffs, all still in the first round.
• Eastern Conference: Celtics lead Heat 2-1; Knicks lead Sixers 2-1; Pacers lead Bucks 2-1; Cavs and Magic tied 2-2.
• Western Conference: Thunder lead Pelicans 3-0; Nuggets lead Lakers 3-1; T’Wolves lead Sounds 3-0; Mavericks lead Clippers 2-1.
• Today in history… Temür, grandson of Kublai, is elected Khagan of the Mongols (1294). Maryland becomes the seventh state to ratify the United States Constitution (1788). France invades the Austrian Netherlands — present day Belgium and Luxembourg — beginning the French Revolutionary Wars (1792). Chinese and Irish laborers for the Central Pacific Railroad working on the First transcontinental railroad lay ten miles of track in one day, a feat which has never been matched (1869). Wembley Stadium is opened, named initially as the Empire Stadium (1923). Benito Mussolini and his mistress Clara Petacci are shot dead by Walter Audisio, a member of the Italian resistance movement (1945). Igor Stravinsky conducted the premiere of his American ballet ‘Orpheus’ at the New York City Center (1948). Boxer Muhammad Ali refuses his induction into the United States Army and is subsequently stripped of his championship and license (1967). ‘The Dark Side of the Moon’ by Pink Floyd goes to number one on the US Billboard chart, beginning a record-breaking 741-week chart run (1973). High levels of radiation resulting from the Chernobyl disaster are detected at a nuclear power plant in Sweden, leading Soviet authorities to publicly announce the accident (1986). CBS News released evidence of the Abu Ghraib torture and prisoner abuse (2004).
• April 28 is the birthday of English king Edward IV (1442), US president James Monroe (1758), actor Lionel Barrymore (1878), astronomer Jan Oort (1900), businessman Oskar Schindler (1908), businessman Ferruccio Lamborghini (1916), singer Blossom Dearie (1924), novelist Harper Lee (1926), astronomer Eugene Merle Shoemaker (1928), Iraq president Saddam Hussein (1937), actress Ann-Margret (1941), author Terry Pratchett (1948), actor Bruno Kirby (1949), comedian/TV host Jay Leno (1950), singer-songwriter/keyboardist Chuck Leavell (1952), singer-songwriter/musician Kim Gordon (1953), golfer John Daly (1966), NHL player Nicklas Lidström (1970), actress Penélope Cruz (1974), actress Jessica Alba (1981), and NFL player Blake Bortles (1992).

Time to do my Sunday things that need doing. Enjoy your day.

Random News: April 27, 2024

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s April 27, 2024, and it’s a Saturday. I’m some random guy in a bathrobe, waking up on a Saturday morning and collating the news for you while I drink multiple cups of coffee.

• I’m going to start with a story that’s so cruel, vile, and almost certainly deeply upsetting to any normal person that I’m going to give you a rare chance to skip the next big set of bullets.
• So go ahead and skip. Like 20 bullets.
• Last chance.
• Okay.
• Kristi Noem is the governor of South Dakota and a Republican. She has a new book out where she — for reasons unknown — details the story of her puppy Cricket, a 14-month-old wirehair pointer.
• Noem took Cricket on a pheasant hunt where, in Noem’s own words, was, “out of her mind with excitement, chasing all those birds and having the time of her life.”
• She went on to say, “I hated that dog,” and described her as untrainable and “less than worthless as a hunting dog.”
• So she took the puppy to a gravel pit and shot her in the head.
• I’m going to state the obvious. For any normal human being with any level of empathy, you understand that puppies can be trained.
• And in the case that you can’t take the time or effort to train a dog and you’re a shitty person, you still have the option of re-homing an animal, or what I used to think was the worst case scenario, turning the dog in at an animal shelter.
• Under no circumstances is it excusable to murder a fucking puppy because its inconvenient for you.
• And the reason I’m even mentioning this whole disgusting story is simple: I find it to be indicative of the underlying mindset of a good chunk of the Republican party.
• Think about it.
• These are people whose parents never taught them kindness or empathy. That’s why they do things like put helpless migrant families on buses and drop them off in freezing, unfamiliar places with no food or shelter.
• That’s why they support and enact draconian laws that say a woman is legally required to give birth to a rapist’s baby.
• That’s why they work hard to remove the rights and benefits to live freely that all Americans merit.
• As has been said many times before but becomes more transparent all the time… the cruelty is the point. That’s what they admire in themselves and in others.
• Which brings us to this.
• Why would Noem write this story in her book? Why would she willingly publicize a fact that nearly any human with a heart would find disgusting and repulsive?
• Because her supporters won’t. And if you admire Noem for being able to “make hard decisions” like she’s trying to impart here, I have no room for you in my life, and I will never be able to call you a friend.
• No matter who you are to me.
• And last note: Noem is near the top of the list of vice president candidates expected to be selected by Donald Trump. And Trump highly endorsed this very book that includes the story of the murder of Cricket.
• Okay.
• That’s all on that.
• Let’s do some news.
• All charges against the 57 people arrested in connection to the Wednesday pro-Palestinian protest at the University of Texas have been dropped.
• The Travis County attorney's office said all 57 arrests, which were all criminal trespassing charges, lacked probable cause.
• Hope those UT cops enjoyed doing all that paperwork for no reason at all.
• I was just being snarky there, but it turns out that Nouha Ezouhri, an attorney with the Travis County public defender's office, noted that university police copy/pasted each probable cause affidavit for every person arrested.
• Doesn’t work that way, you lazy fucks. Now you have no cases at all.
• I noticed a lot of people angry and upset about the filmed arrest of Emory University economics professor Caroline Fohlin, who was thrown to the ground, pinned down, and cuffed.
• Breathless headlines called the incident “shocking.” How is that shocking? Cops do that to people in every city across the country every day.
• I mean, it probably should be shocking, but ask literally any cop of any law enforcement agency if this is abnormal.
• Ask any Black or Hispanic person who is being detained or arrested if it’s shocking to be roughed up and thrown down.
• Fuck, ask ME about being pulled through the window of a car by my hair and body slammed and knelt on for (checks notes) no reason at all.
• Fohlin is one of two professors among 28 people who were arrested by police on Thursday at the campus, where police had deployed rubber bullets to disperse crowds.
• I don’t have much more to report on the nationwide pro-Palestine college campus protests. They continue all over, everywhere from community colleges to Ivy League universities.
• Over 100 people were arrested just this morning at Northeastern University in Boston as police broke up their encampments.
• Here in California, Cal State Polytechnic University, Humboldt is closing and moving to a remote format until the end of the semester due to the continued occupation of at least two campus buildings. 
• And so on. There are dozens and dozens of similar stories.
• On one hand, there’s the support of the First Amendment rights to free speech and assembly. On the other are reports of infiltration of student groups by purely antisemitic hate groups.
• There’s no way to know how things will transpire, with so many variables in place. Hopefully, it will be resolved peacefully inane case, though it’s hard to see how that’s possible.
• Moving on.
• I thought you’d enjoy hearing Rudy Giuliani’s defense about the criminal charges he faces in Arizona’s fake elector plot.
• “Well, I didn’t spend as much time on Arizona as I did, let’s say, with Georgia, Michigan, and Pennsylvania. I know those better,” said Rudy this week on right-wing broadcaster Newsmax.
• That’s like being accused of murder in one state and justifying it by saying that you actually murdered more people in other states.
• As we reported this past week, Arizona has joined Michigan, Nevada, and Georgia in charging fake electors for trying to overturn the 2020 elections.
• Fake electors in Wisconsin have settled a civil lawsuit over their fraudulent efforts. Meanwhile, in Fulton County, GA, Dump himself faces charges for trying to overturn the state election results.
• In other news…
• Remember in February 2022 when basketball player Brittney Griner was detained and arrested on smuggling charges by Russian customs officials after cartridges containing less than a gram of medically prescribed hash oil, illegal in Russia, were found in her luggage?
• She was put in a Russian penal colony and wasn’t released until that December.
• I recall a lot of MAGA-type folks saying things like, “Well, she should have known the country's laws and she deserved it.”
• Why am I mentioning this?
• Because Oklahoma man Ryan Watson and his wife and friends were in Turks and Caicos to celebrate a birthday. But then airport security found ammunition that was allegedly unknowingly left in a duffel bag from a deer hunting trip.
• Possessing guns or ammunition is prohibited in Turks and Caicos. Watson could face a 12-year prison sentence.
• He is currently out on bail as of this morning, but must remain in the island country. His next court date is scheduled for June 7.
• I’m sure the folks who thought Britney Griner deserved a long sentence in a Russian labor camp will also support Watson’s imprisonment.
• Right? No? Why not? Might it have something to do with Griner being a Black lesbian and Watson being a white man from the American heartland?
• Ah.
• Let’s do some fun news. I think we need it.
• Tonight is the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, and I think Joe has got some roasting to do.
• Biden will speak to a crowd of nearly 3,000 journalists, celebrities, and politicians, continuing a tradition dating back to Calvin Coolidge of presidents addressing the dinner at least once during their term.
• Every president since then has done this hilarious event with one exception. Iron’t even need today who it was.
• Biden has dropped a few zingers lately, poking fun at Dumpy’s hair, the dropping stock price of his social media company, selling bubbles and so on. Easy targets, really.
• So I’m anticipating some brutal Dark Brandon vibes tonight. Looking forward to the coverage.
• And now, The Weather: “The Bug” by Crumb
• Speaking of weather, major tornadoes gutted homes as they plowed through Nebraska and Iowa, and the storm threat could escalate today, posing a risk from Michigan to Texas.
• Stay safe, peoples.
• Rest in peace to Mike Pinder, keyboardist and the last surviving founding member of the Moody Blues. He died this week at age 82.
• Pinder was an early proponent of the Mellotron, a keyboard that uses tape loops in the same way a modern sampler uses digital audio files. That instrument helped tie the Moody Blues a distinctive orchestral sound that differentiated them from other bands of their era.
• And, in fact, it was Pinder who introduced the Mellotron to his friend John Lennon, which he used on "Strawberry Fields Forever.”
• From the Sports Desk… I am very happy with the picks my Las Vegas Raiders have made in the NFL draft thus far.
• They took tight end Brock Bowers from Georgia in the first round with the 13th pick, offensive lineman Jackson Powers-Johnson from Oregon (pick 44), offensive lineman Delmar Glaze from Maryland (pick 77), and just now, cornerback Decamerion Richardson from Mississippi State at pick 112.
• I’m perfectly fine with us not having chosen a quarterback. Let Aidan O’Connell and Gardner Minshew battle it out for the starting job.
• The draft, which started Thursday night and is currently in the 4th round, continues through seven rounds today.
• Today in history… Explorer Ferdinand Magellan is killed by natives in the Philippines led by chief Lapulapu (1521). John Milton sells Paradise Lost to a printer for £10, so that it could be entered into the Stationers' Register (1667). American President Abraham Lincoln suspends the writ of habeas corpus (1861). The United Auto Workers (UAW) gains autonomy from the American Federation of Labor (1936). Benito Mussolini is arrested by Italian partisans in Dongo, while attempting escape disguised as a German soldier (1945). John Ehrlichman, a former aide to U.S. President Richard Nixon, is released from the Federal Correctional Institution, Safford, AZ, after serving 18 months for Watergate-related crimes (1978). Xerox PARC introduces the computer mouse (1981). The April 27 demonstrations, student-led protests responding to the April 26 Editorial, during the Tiananmen Square protests of 1989 (1989). The first democratic general election in South Africa in which black citizens could vote (1994). Airbus A380 aircraft has its maiden test flight (2005). Two hundred five tornadoes touched down in the Southeast USA, killing more than 300 and injuring hundreds more (2011).
• April 27 is the birthday of Mughal empress Mumtaz Mahal (1593), feminist philosopher/writer Mary Wollstonecraft (1759), inventor Samuel Morse (1791), US president Ulysses S. Grant (1822), MLB player Rogers Hornsby (1896), poet Cecil Day-Lewis (1904), track and field athlete John Kuck (1905), actor Jack Klugman (1922), activist Coretta Scott King (1927), radio host/voice actor Casey Kasem (1932), NFL coach Chuck Knox (1932), drummer Jim Keltner (1942), singer-songwriter/guitarist Pete Ham (1947), singer-songwriter Kate Pierson (1948), guitarist/songwriter Ace Frehley (1951), NBA player George Gervin (1952), politician Cory Booker (1969), singer Lizzo (1988), and MLB player Corey Seager (1994).

Okay. I’m going to take a shower and figure out what I’m doing with this Saturday. I currently have no idea. Enjoy your day.

Random News: April 26, 2024

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s April 26, 2024, and if you can believe it, it’s a Friday once again! I’m glad this week is drawing to a close. I mean, I’m sure you are too. This has just been a bit of a grind with work stuff and crazy news things and whatnot. Speaking of which…

• Yesterday was the historic Supreme Court hearing to determine whether a president has total immunity regarding crimes they commit while in office.
• The good news: the Court appeared ready to reject Dump’s claims of sweeping immunity and the broad protections he has sought to shut down his federal election subversion case.
• The less good news: they also seemed reluctant to give special counsel Jack Smith carte blanche to pursue those charges.
• The court’s radical conservatives aggressively questioned the lawyer representing the special counsel, seemingly embracing Dump’s central theme that without at least some form of immunity, future presidents would over time be subjected to politically motivated prosecutions.
• Much of the hearing focused on whether there should be a distinction between official acts by a president pursuant to presidential duties versus his private conduct.
• Their decision could determine not only Dump’s legal fate, but also will set the rules of criminal exposure for future presidents.
• One hopeful note: Dump’s attorney John Sauer acknowledged that some of the alleged conduct supporting the criminal charges against the former president were private.
• That would mean he committed those acts as a private citizen, which would get no special protection in his role as president.
• This is against Dumpy’s claim that the entire prosecution should be thrown out.
• Interestingly, conservative justice Amy Coney Barrett was the first to pin Sauer down on the distinction between official and personal acts alleged in the charges.
• Sauer agreed that particular acts that Dump is being tried for — spreading bogus election fraud claims, filing false court filings, putting forward fraudulent sets of electors — were not acts he did as president, and conceded those private acts would not be covered by presidential immunity.
• In a back and forth with justice Elena Kagan, Sauer also said that Dump’s phone call with Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger —  the one where he infamously requested Raffensperger “find” enough votes to flip the results — was not an official act.
• However, Sauer did try to claim that Dump was acting in an official capacity in his conversation with the Republican National Committee about assembling slates of so-called “fake electors” and his call for the Arizona lawmakers to hold a hearing on election fraud.
• When will we get their ruling? Well, everything thus far has played into Dump’s tactic to keep delaying judgements until after the election this fall.
• The Supreme Court has moved quite quickly in similar high-profile matters in the past. In 1974, for instance, when a unanimous court ordered President Richard Nixon to turn over the tapes of surreptitious recordings he made in the White House, it did so after roughly two weeks after arguments.
• In another often-cited example, the court decided the Bush v. Gore election dispute in 2000 a day after it heard arguments.
• But this time? I seriously doubt any drastic speed will be applied.
• Guess we’ll see. I predict that the Supreme Court’s decisions will be thrown at us sometime in June, by which time it will be difficult to get Dump’s other criminal trials to be enacted previous to the election.
• Little side note: when an accused person is innocent, they want their trial as soon as possible, and that’s why there’s a constitutional right to a speedy trial. Guilty criminals almost always seek to delay their trials as long as possible, as Dump is doing now.
• Let’s move on with some excellent news on a totally different topic.
• Yesterday, the US government banned internet service providers (ISPs) from meddling in the speeds their customers receive when browsing the web and downloading files, restoring tough Obama-era rules that were rescinded during the Dump administration.
• You may have heard of this “net neutrality” regulation. The new rules adopted by the FCC prohibit providers such as AT&T, Comcast, and Verizon from selectively speeding up, slowing down or blocking users’ internet traffic.
• The order will go into effect in about 60 days. However, if Dump wins reelection, a GOP-led FCC would likely repeal the rules.
• The telecom industry is also expected to file a legal challenge. There will also be pushback from top Republicans on Capitol Hill.
• But it’s a good step. I was pretty vocal about net neutrality when it was taken down in 2017.
• Moving on.
• Let’s talk about the continuing flareup of student social action at an expanding list of colleges across the country.
• Yesterday’s series of arrests at pro-Palestinian protests brought the total number of people detained in a week of demonstrations to more than 500. College officials have struggled to quell the unrest with attempts to clear encampments and close buildings.
• Perhaps the biggest story of the moment is from here in Los Angeles, where the University of Southern California was compelled to cancel the school’s main commencement ceremony that had been slated for May 10.
• Over the past couple of weeks, police have detained demonstrators at schools including Emerson College in Boston, New York University, the University of Texas at Austin, and Ohio State University, in addition to ongoing actions at renowned schools like Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Columbia, and many others.
• What do these student protestors want? It actually varies somewhat from place to place.
• The most common theme is a demand that their institutions cut ties with corporations doing business with Israel due to the students’ perception that the country is engaged in genocidal action against Palestine — and it’s difficult to argue against their point.
• Other common threads include demanding universities disclose their investments, sever academic ties with Israeli universities, and support a ceasefire in Gaza.
• And then, of course, after the schools started trying to gain back control of their campuses, the protests began against the reactions. Many are now also calling for school officials to protect free speech and spare students from being punished for participating in the protests.
• But on the central call to action, universities have largely refused to budge on the demand for divestment.
• It’s also easy to see why some of these actions can be perceived as creating a hostile and threatening environment for Jewish students and staff, many of whom possibly agreeing with the cause but still getting blamed for world events they have nothing to do with.
• Turning Jews into scapegoats is a centuries-old tradition, unfortunately.
• Let’s move on to a more modern kind of horror.
• A Maryland high school teacher was arrested after he allegedly used artificial intelligence to create a fake audio recording, planting racist and antisemitic words into the voice of his boss.
• Dazhon Darien, a PE teacher and the athletic director at Pikesville High School, was accused of falsifying the voice of principal Eric Eiswert.
• He was charged with disrupting school activities and other counts, and was arrested yesterday Thursday morning at Baltimore/Washington International Thurgood Marshall Airport.
• We’re entering an age where your voice and image can be used by anyone to seem to say or do anything, ranging from racist behavior to porn.
• It’s going to be a huge challenge in coming years to discern the difference between reality and AI-generated content that gets more and more accurate all the time.
• And the biggest problem is that very soon, nearly anyone will have access to the tools to use AI in these nefarious ways, without any kind of special training or expertise.
• I promise you now… this will be bigger and bigger before you can imagine.
• In our continuing coverage of the people who attempted a cup against the USA on January 6, 2021, we have a bit of a different kind of tale to tell this time.
• John Sullivan was convicted in November on numerous charges, including felony obstruction of an official proceeding and civil disorder, and is scheduled for sentencing this afternoon.
• But Sullivan isn’t a MAGA or a Dump supporter of any kind. Prosecutors describe him as an antiestablishment activist who wanted to “burn it all down.” His brother James Sullivan is a right-wing activist with ties to the Proud Boys.
• In footage played at his trial Sullivan said, ”I brought my megaphone to instigate shit,” and bragged that he'd sought to "make those Trump supporters fuck shit up."
• The government is asking for a lengthy sentence of more than seven years in federal prison.
• Shrug. Over 1,387 Capitol attack defendants have been charged, and prosecutors have secured more than 984 convictions.
• One quick item of news about the former Criminal-in-Chief.
• Yesterday, a federal judge rejected Dump's bid for a new trial in a defamation case brought by writer E. Jean Carroll. The ruling upheld the jury's $83.3 million damage award.
• Ha ha, fucker.
• "Contrary to the defendant's arguments, Ms. Carroll's compensatory damages were not awarded solely for her emotional distress; they were not for garden variety harms; and they were not excessive," Judge Lewis Kaplan wrote.
• ”Mr. Trump's malicious and unceasing attacks on Ms. Carroll were disseminated to more than 100 million people," he added. "They included public threats and personal attacks, and they endangered Ms. Carroll's health and safety."
• Correct.
• Here’s something that seems kinda unsettling.
• Federal regulators found bird flu virus fragments in roughly one in five retail milk samples tested in a nationally representative study, per the FDA yesterday.
• Samples from parts of the country that are known to have cows infected with the virus were more likely to test positive, which makes sense.
• Regulators said that there is no evidence that this milk poses a danger to consumers or that live virus is present in the milk on store shelves.
• But finding traces of the virus in such a high share of samples from around the country shows without a doubt that the bird flu outbreak in dairy cows is more extensive than we were previously aware.

• And now, The Weather: “old friend” by flypaper
• From the Sports Desk… I’ve actually watched the first round of the NFL draft for a few years, and it’s more fun than it would seem on the surface. I watched the first round picks last night.
• I won’t list the entire fucking draft… you can find it everywhere. But the interesting thing was that the first 14 picks (!) were all offensive players.
• In order: QB, QB, QB, WR, OT, WR, OT, QB, WR, QB, OT, QB, TE, OT. Wow.
• And yes… six quarterbacks in the first 12 picks. That seems insane tome. Statistically, there can’t possibly be that many top-tier NFL-ready quarterbacks that high in any draft class.
• Today in history… The Virginia Company colonists make landfall at Cape Henry (1607). Sybil Ludington, aged 16, rode 40 miles to alert American colonial forces to the approach of the British regular forces (1777). Thousands of meteor fragments fall from the skies of L'Aigle, France; the event convinces European scientists that meteors exist (1803). Union cavalry troopers corner and shoot dead John Wilkes Booth, assassin of President Abraham Lincoln, in Virginia (1865). Ice hockey makes its Olympic debut at the Antwerp Games (1920). The Gestapo, the official secret police force of Nazi Germany, is established by Hermann Göring (1933). Guernica, Spain, is bombed by German Luftwaffe (1937). The first clinical trials of Jonas Salk's polio vaccine begin in Fairfax County, VA (1954). NASA's Ranger 4 spacecraft crashes into the Moon (1962). The Convention Establishing the World Intellectual Property Organization enters into force (1970). The Chernobyl disaster occurs in the Ukrainian Soviet Socialist Republic (1986). The Space Shuttle Columbia is launched on mission STS-55 to conduct experiments aboard the Spacelab module (1993). South Africa begins its first multiracial election, which is won by Nelson Mandela's African National Congress (1994). American comedian Bill Cosby is convicted of sexual assault (2018). Marvel Studios' blockbuster film ‘Avengers: Endgame’ is released, becoming at the time the highest-grossing film of all time (2019). 
• April 26 is the birthday of Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius (121), French queen Marie de' Medici (1575), French queen Maria Amalia (1782), ornithologist John James Audubon (1785), politician Charles Goodyear (1804), physicist Owen Willans Richardson (1879), singer-songwriter Ma Rainey (1886), philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein (1889), seismologist Charles Francis Richter (1900), architect I. M. Pei (1917), actress Carol Burnett (1933), music producer Giorgio Moroder (1940), singer-songwriter/keyboardist Gary Wright (1943), drummer Roger Taylor (1960), martial artist/actor Jet Li (1963), first lady Melania Trump (1970), singer-songwriter Tionne "T-Boz" Watkins (1970), drummer Joey Jordison (1975), actor Channing Tatum (1980), and MLB player Aaron Judge (1992).

As is almost always the case, there’s more news, but not more time, and I have to get off my ass and go work out before the work day gets rolling in earnest. But I will say that even with all the craziness of the world, I’m feeling a strong sense of optimism about how I believe things will turn out, and I mean that on many fronts. Enjoy your day.

Random News: April 25, 2024

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s April 25, 2024, and it’s a Thursday for some reason. I woke up somewhat discombobulated, still immersed in a bizarre dream. But then as I gained more consciousness, I realized I’m immersed in a bizarre life. Let’s take. look around at the weirdness.

• It’s another huge-ass news day, so buckle up. They’re coming in fast and furious lately, and it’s only gonna get crazier, I promise.
• Okay, let’s go.
• Yesterday, after overcoming months of opposition by Republicans in Congress, President Biden signed a military aid package worth $95 billion that will arm Ukraine, Israel and Taiwan.
• The shipments of weaponry, ammunition, and other aid toUkraine began within hours after Biden’s sign-off.
• Good. Slava Ukraini!
• In another super important news item, the far-right Supreme Court seemed skeptical yesterday that federal law can require hospitals to provide emergency abortion care in states with strict bans on the procedure.
• Throughout two hours of argument, only the court’s three liberal justices — Sotomayor, Kagan, and Jackson — strongly backed the Biden administration’s view that the Emergency Medical Treatment and Labor Act — known as EMTALA — preempts Idaho’s strict ban that imposes penalties of up to five years in prison on doctors who perform the procedure.
• But the radical conservative SCOTUS judges pushed back on the Biden administration’s interpretation of EMTALA during oral arguments and suggested the federal government cannot force private hospitals that receive federal funds to violate a state’s law.
• I will tell you now… whether it’s Donnie Dump or laws that curtail your rights, the path to victory won’t go through the courts. They’ll happen at the ballot box.
• Moving on to another abortion rights story.
• Yesterday, the Republican-controlled Arizona House approved a repeal of an 1864 abortion law that would have banned nearly all abortions, sending the measure to the state Senate. 
• Like many Republican politicians, the AZ House members are well aware that supporting draconian abortion laws that remove all reproductive freedom form women is a sure ticket to losing their next election.
• Arizona's state Senate is set to consider the law on May 1. The 1864 law is set to go into effect on June 8, and it would supersede what had been the state’s current 15-week abortion ban. 
• In yesterday's contentious AZ House session, three Republicans joined all the Democrats in a 32-28 vote to overrule GOP House Speaker Ben Toma, who twice previously blocked the bill from moving forward. Republicans control the chamber by a 31-29 margin.
• Earlier this month, the state Supreme Court ruled that the highly-restrictive 160-year-old law that bans nearly all abortions — put in place during the Civil War before Arizona was a state — can be enforced. 
• Let’s do some Dumpy news. Despite the fact that he wasn’t in criminal court, it was another not-good day for him yesterday, in what will be a more and more common occurrence of very bad, very sad, never glad days.
• Let’s start in Michigan.
• Yesterday it was revealed that Dumpy, his former chief of staff Mark Meadows, and Rudy Giuliani are unindicted co-conspirators in the Michigan attorney general's case against the state's fake electors in the 2020 election.
• Michigan Attorney General Dana Nessel charged 16 Republicans last year with forgery and conspiracy to commit election forgery for allegedly attempting to replace Michigan's electoral votes for Joe Biden with electoral votes for Dump at the certification of the vote on January 6, 2021.
• During a hearing yesterday, a special agent for the attorney general's office also testified that former Dump attorney Jenna Ellis is also an unindicted co-conspirator.
• Now let’s head to Arizona, where a state grand jury indicted their own batch of fake electors and their illegal attempts to overturn Joe Biden’s win in the presidential election in the state. 
• What did they do? A month after the 2020 election, 11 Dump supporters convened at the Arizona GOP’s headquarters in Phoenix to sign a certificate claiming to be Arizona’s 11 electors to the Electoral College.
• These morons not only committed a crime, but then signed their names to it, documented it on social media, and sent it to Congress and the National Archives.
• Among those charged is Kelli Ward, who served as chair of the Arizona GOP during the 2020 election and the immediate aftermath.
• Others charged include state legislators Anthony Kern and Jake Hoffman; Michael Ward, Kelli Ward’s husband; Tyler Bowyer, the Republican National Committee's Arizona committeeman and CEO of right-wing group Turning Point USA; Greg Safsten, the former Arizona GOP executive director; former U.S. Senate candidate Jim Lamon; Robert Montgomery, the former head of the Cochise County GOP; and Republican Party activists Samuel Moorhead, Nancy Cottle and Loraine Pellegrino.
• Oh, and also named was "Unindicted Coconspirator 1,” identified as Donnie Dump. It also includes redacted names of other people who have been charged in the case but have not yet been served.
• They will all face justice, both as a punitive action to pay for what they did and as a message to those in the future who are planning to do the same thing.
• Moving on, sort of.
• As we mentioned yesterday, right at this moment, the Supreme Court is tackling the question as to whether or not US Presidents have total immunity from crimes they commit in office, like a king.
• And early reports say that the judges on both sides on the spectrum — Sotomayor and Thomas — agreed early on that there’s no mention of absolute immunity in the Constitution.
• That’s a hopeful sign.
• Finally note on the Creamsicle Criminal: his trial for election interference via hush money payments continues in New York today.
• Lots going on right now. Stay awake and informed, peoples.
• Moving on.
• Rest in peace to Rep. Donald Payne Jr. (D-NJ), who died yesterday following a heart attack brought on by complications from diabetes. He was 65.
• Payne entered Congress somewhat reluctantly in 2012 following the death of his father, Rep. Donald Payne Sr., who was the first Black person elected to Congress in New Jersey and who became one of the city’s luminaries during his more than two decades in Congress.
• Payne’s district is one of the most heavily Democratic in the country. Primary ballots were due to be mailed on April 20, so his name will remain on the ballot.
• Let’s do some “Sucks to Be You” news.
• The Gateway Pundit, a far-right website known for spreading election conspiracies, will declare bankruptcy as it faces lawsuits for defamation.
• Those lawsuits include one from the Georgia election workers Ruby Freeman and Shaye Moss, who sued the organization in Missouri, where it is based, after the website perpetuated false claims that the two had been involved in election fraud in Georgia.
• Here’s something that shouldn’t surprise you if you’re paying attention to the direction of the world.
• The pace of babies born each year in the U.S. has slowed to a new record low. 3,591,328 babies were born in the U.S. in 2023, down 2% from the 3,667,758 born in 2022.
• The fertility rate is now the lowest in a century.
• When people can’t feel secure about their future, economically or socially or otherwise, they will take further measures to make sure they’re not bringing more people into the world.
• Moving on.
• Yesterday, Ohio lawmakers finally voted to make it illegal to drug and rape your spouse. That’s nice of them.
• It took over a decade for the state’s lawmakers to agree. State Rep. Bill Dean (R-Xenia) still opposed it, saying the law could "be used as a wedge between husband and wife."
• Fucking piece of shit.
• The bill now goes to be signed by Gov. Mike DeWine.
• And speaking of rape…
• Producer Harvey Weinstein’s 2020 rape conviction was overturned this morning by the New York Court of Appeals.
• The court ordered a retrial, ruling that the judge in Weinstein’s original trial improperly allowed testimony about allegations that weren’t part of the case.
• Weinstein was originally sentenced to 23 years in prison for forcibly performing oral sex on a former production assistant in 2006 and rape in the third degree for an attack on an aspiring actress in 2013.
• Before you get too concerned… the case will be retried and Weinstin will spend the rest of his life in prison regardless.
• And now, The Weather: “Wild Life” by Molly Drag
• From the Sports Desk… a little update from the NBA playoffs.
• Celtics and Heat are tied at 1-1, as are the Bucks and Pacers. The Knicks have a 2-0 lead over the 76ers, as do the Cavs over the Magic.
• In the West, the Thunder are up 2-0 over the Pelicans. Same with the Nuggets over the Lakers and the T'wolves over the Suns. The Clippers and Mats are knotted at 1-1.
• Today in history… The Dutch fleet destroys the anchored Spanish fleet at Gibraltar (1607). Highwayman Nicolas J. Pelletier becomes the first person executed by guillotine (1792). Open conflict begins over the disputed border of Texas, triggering the Mexican–American War (1846). Forces under U.S. Admiral David Farragut demand the surrender of the Confederate city of New Orleans, LA (1862). New York becomes the first U.S. state to require automobile license plates (1901). The United Negro College Fund is incorporated (1944). Assaulting Chinese forces in the Korean War are forced to withdraw after heavy fighting with UN forces, primarily made up of Australian and Canadian troops, at the Battle of Kapyong (1951). Francis Crick and James Watson publish "Molecular Structure of Nucleic Acids: A Structure for Deoxyribose Nucleic Acid" describing the double helix structure of DNA (1953). Robert Noyce is granted a patent for an integrated circuit (1961). President George W. Bush pledges U.S. military support in the event of a Chinese attack on Taiwan (2001). The March for Women's Lives brings between 500,000 and 800,000 protesters, mostly pro-choice, to Washington D.C. (2004). The Flint water crisis begins when officials at Flint, Michigan switch the city's water supply to the Flint River, leading to lead and bacteria contamination (2014).
• April 25 is the birthday of my 25th great-grandfather, French king Louis IX (1214), my 22nd great-grandfather, England king Edward II (1284), general/politician Oliver Cromwell (1599), astronomer James Ferguson (1710), inventor/businessman Guglielmo Marconi (1874), physicist Wolfgang Pauli (1900), journalist Edward R. Murrow (1908), singer Ella Fitzgerald (1917), singer-songwriter/guitarist Albert King (1923), actor/director Paul Mazursky (1930), basketball player/actor Meadowlark Lemon (1932), songwriter/music producer Jerry Leiber (1933), actor Al Pacino (1940), bass player Stu Cook (1945), drummer Steve Ferrone (1950), singer Paul Baloff (1960), actor Hank Azaria (1964), bass player Eric Avery (1965), sportscaster Joe Buck (1969), actress Renée Zellweger (1969), and NBA player Tim Duncan (1976).

So much going on. Try not to let important things get lost in the shuffle. And please, keep your fingers crossed over the current presidential immunity case at the Supreme Court. Our county’s founders did a lot to make sure the USA would not be led by kings. Let’s respect their wishes. Enjoy your day.

Random News: April 24, 2024

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s April 24, 2024, and it’s a Wednesday. I slept like a rock last night, to the point that my alarm going off at 6am was entirely shocking. “What is this infernal sound?” I asked aloud while in a dream about interviewing Leonard Nimoy. Anyway, back to reality, so here’s a giant pile of news for you to enjoy.

• Here’s a noteworthy tidbit to open things up.
• Yesterday saw the Democratic and Republican presidential primaries in Pennsylvania, a crucial swing state.
• President Joe Biden, unsurprisingly, got over 93% of the vote, winning his race easily.
• But the Republican race was pretty shocking. Donnie Dump won, of course… but only got less than 85% of the vote. Nikki Haley, who dropped out early last month, received over 15% of the vote.
• That is a nightmare scenario for Team Dump. They need a ton of hearty support in that state to have a hope of winning, and it doesn’t seem to be there.
• Let’s stay on the good news for a bit.
• Yesterday the Biden administration announced a new rule that would make millions of workers newly eligible for overtime pay.
• Currently, employees who are in executive, administrative, and professional roles have a salary threshold of just $35,568 to be exempt from receive overtime pay. 
• Starting July 1, the rule would increase the threshold to $43,888, and on January 1, the threshold would rise further to $58,656.
• I like the quote from Acting Labor Secretary Julie Su: “So often, lower-paid salaried workers are doing the same job as their hourly counterparts but are spending more time away from their families for no additional pay. This is unacceptable.”
• But that wasn’t the only good news for workers that came out yesterday.
• The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) voted 3-2 to ban noncompete agreements. This is really, really good news.
• Noncompete employment clauses prevent tens of millions of employees from working for competitors or starting a competing business after they leave a job. The FTC estimates that 18 percent of the U.S. workforce is covered by noncompete agreements — about 30 million people.
• Fuck that bullshit. I’m glad they’re gone… at least for now. 
• Because the U.S. Chamber of Commerce — the largest pro-business lobbying group in the country — has said it will sue to block the rule. Of course they will. Pricks.
• Back to the good news.
• Last night, the Senate overwhelmingly passed the bill for $95 billion in war aid to Ukraine, Israel, and Taiwan, sending the legislation to President Joe Biden after months of delays.
• After making it through the House over the weekend, the bill passed the Senate on a 79-18 vote. U.S. officials said about $1 billion of the aid could be on its way shortly, with the bulk following in coming weeks.
• Senate minority leader Mitch McConnell said something interesting after the aid bill passed the Senate. He was asked why it took so long for the USA to show its support. His answer…
• "I think the demonization of Ukraine began by Tucker Carlson, who in my opinion ended up where he should've been all along, which is interviewing Vladimir Putin. He had an enormous audience, which convinced a lot of rank-and-file Republicans that maybe this was a mistake."
• I think we’re going to see more moderate Republicans growing some balls and standing up to the wacko far-right MAGA/QAnon crowd as various events transpire over coming months.
• Let’s do the bad news.
• Volker Türk, the UN's human rights chief, has said he is horrified by the destruction of Gaza's Nasser and al-Shifa hospitals and the reports of mass graves being found at the sites after Israeli raids.
• He’s called for independent investigations into the deaths.
• Palestinian officials said they had exhumed the bodies of almost 300 people at Nasser. It is not clear how they died or when they were buried.
• More than 34,000 people — most of them children and women — have been killed in Gaza since the war began in October of last year.
• Sometimes, I have to repeat myself here, because some things are too important to risk being misunderstood.
• I am horrified by the atrocities Israel seems to be committing in their war in Gaza.
• I believe war crimes are being committed and that eventually, someone will have to answer for that… most likely Bibi Netanyahu.
• I also feel it’s very understandable that college students in the USA are exercising their right to protest against Israel’s actions in Palestine.
• It’s also understood that Israel is able to act in this way via the support of US money and military might, making us complicit in these actions and deserving to be called out on it.
• Now let me tell you something else.
• If you’re blaming Jews in the USA for what’s happening in Israel and Palestine, you’re a fucking fool who’s being used for an entirely different agenda.
• Protest your asses off. But any negative sentiment or attacks aimed at your friends, classmates, neighbors, and fellow citizens who are Jewish are no less appalling than what people did to Muslim Americans in the wake of 9/11.
• Bigotry can never be accepted, and antisemitic behavior of any kind at any level only hurts the cause of trying to help the people of Palestine.
• Let’s move on.
• I suppose we should do some mention of yesterday’s antics in the hush money/election interference criminal trial of Don the Con.
• Before yesterday’s proceedings got underway, they had to attend to the matter of Dump’s continual violation of the gag order imposed that — like any other criminal defendant — does not allow him to try and intimidate witnesses or the court’s officers and jurors.
• One of Dump’s lawyers spelled out the process behind his social posts, explaining that people working with Dump will pick out articles and then repost them under his name.
• His lawyers actually said, and I’m not making this up, that reposting a news article (rather than writing it himself) means it doesn’t violate the gag order.
• So Judge Merchan asked for legal citations to cases to back that up. The lawyer said he didn’t have any, but claimed that, “it’s just common sense.”
• Lemme tell you… if I willingly repost any content, it’s with the purpose of spreading that content to my followers and it means I openly endorse the message. That’s just common sense.
• If I disagree with the content, it’s up to me to make that clear when I quote the original post or article.
• The remainder of the day was focused on the testimony of former tabloid executive David Pecker. He testified for over two hours yesterday.
• The short version: Pecker, who is the ex-publisher of the National Enquirer, detailed a 2015 agreement with Trump and his lawyer/fixer Michael Cohen to try to kill negative stories about Trump and run negative stories his rivals.
• Prosecutors say that the hush money deal with Stormy Daniels that Pecker helped broker was part of a larger conspiracy to influence the 2016 presidential election.
• Let’s move on.
• Right now, the Supreme Court is hearing arguments over whether the federal government has the power to penalize hospitals that fail to provide emergency abortions even in states with strict bans on the procedure.
• They are considering the Emergency Medical Treatment and Labor Act — known as EMTALA — a law that requires hospitals that receive federal funds to stabilize or transfer all patients, regardless of their ability to pay.
• The Biden administration invoked EMTALA to try to retain emergency access to abortion after the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade.
• The administration sued the state of Idaho in 2022, saying that the state’s abortion restrictions are preempted in part by the federal law, and that strict state bans have confused health workers, confounded patients and led to delays in lifesaving care for pregnant women.
• Here’s hoping for the best. It’s impossible to really predict what this far-right Court will do.
• Tomorrow, the Supreme Court will take up the monumental question of whether a U.S. president has absolute immunity from crimes, like a king or emperor, placing him or her above the law of the land to which every other American is subject.
• The case, Donald J. Trump v. United States, presents an unprecedented constitutional quandary for the court brought about by equally unprecedented actions by Dumpy in the aftermath of the 2020 presidential election, which he lost to Joe Biden by a margin of 7 million popular votes.
• The outcome of this case will determine whether Dump faces a federal trial this year on four felony counts pressed by special counsel Jack Smith, including conspiracy to defraud the U.S. and obstruction of an official proceeding, for his attempts to overturn the electoral vote count certifying Biden's victory.
• Two courts have resoundingly rejected Dump's immunity arguments, including a unanimous three-judge panel of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia.
• The appeals court warned that if Dump's constitutional theory were accepted, it would collapse our system of separated powers by putting a president above the law.
• We will be keeping a close eye on that, obviously. It would mean the end of America as we know it should the SCOTUS side with Dumpy.
• Back to cool news.
• The Voyager-1 space probe launched in 1977 and is humanity's most distant object.
• And it’s talking to us again. A computer fault had stopped Voyager-1 returning readable data in November but engineers have now fixed this.
• Currently Voyager is sending back only health data about its onboard systems, but further work should get the scientific instruments back online.
• That little probe is now more than 15 billion miles away. Its data, moving at the speed of light, takes 22.5 hours to reach us.
• Voyager-1 moved beyond the heliosphere in 2012, and is now embedded in interstellar space, which contains the gas, dust, and magnetic fields from other stars.
• That’s amazing. Keep going, space probe brother.
• And now a flashback and a reminder.
• Yesterday was the anniversary of an infamous moment in American history. Back on April 23, 2020, we were at one of the crucial moments of the COVID-19 pandemic.
• Researchers were working around the clock to develop a vaccine, but at that time, there was no way to protect people from being infected by — and potentially dying from — the virus, beyond isolation, social distancing, and mask use.
• April 23 was the date that Donnie Dump held a COVID press conferences and claimed that his health advisers were going to "test" whether "very powerful light" could be brought "inside the body" to kill COVID.
• And then, just allowing his mouth to ramble with no basis in reality, he continued, "And then I see the disinfectant, where it knocks it out in a minute. One minute. And is there a way we can do something like that, by injection inside or almost a cleaning. It would be interesting to check that."
• I know we all try and forget those dark days, but due to the nature of Dump’s brainwashed MAGA crowd taking him at his word, his comments prompted the makers of disinfectants like Lysol to issue a statement warning that "under no circumstance should our disinfectant products be administered into the human body."
• Fucking hell.
• When people ask whether you’re better off today than your were four years ago, keep in mind that the President of the United States was advising people to shove UV lamps up their asses and to shoot up bleach.
• And now, The Weather: “Dedicated To The World” by Chanel Beads
• From the Sports Desk… Reggie Bush is getting his Heisman Memorial Trophy back. Bush won the Heisman in 2005 when he rushed for 1,740 yards on 200 carries and scored 18 total touchdowns for the University of Southern California.
• In 2010, Bush voluntarily gave up the coveted award after an NCAA investigation found he received benefits of several thousand dollars and a vehicle that were not allowed at the time.
• But current rules would not have prohibited Bush from those actions. College athletes can now receive compensation for their name, image, and likeness. I think it’s fair to return the trophy to him as such.
• Today in history… Thutmose III ascends to the throne of Egypt, although power effectively shifts to Hatshepsut (1479 BC). Mary, Queen of Scots, marries the Dauphin of France, François, at Notre Dame de Paris (1558). The United States Library of Congress is established when President John Adams signs legislation to appropriate $5,000 to purchase "such books as may be necessary for the use of Congress” (1800). American sharpshooter Annie Oakley is hired by Nate Salsbury to be a part of Buffalo Bill's Wild West (1885). The first segment of the Imperial Wireless Chain providing wireless telegraphy between Leafield in Oxfordshire, England, and Cairo, Egypt, comes into operation (1922). Winston Churchill is knighted by Queen Elizabeth II (1953). Cosmonaut Vladimir Komarov dies in Soyuz 1 when its parachute fails to open (1967). The Hubble Space Telescope is launched from the Space Shuttle Discovery (1990). WikiLeaks starts publishing the Guantanamo Bay files leak (2011).
• April 24 is the birthday of Tahiti queen Marau (1860), painter Willem de Kooning (1906), actress Shirley MacLaine (1934), politician Richard M. Daley (1942), singer/actress Barbra Streisand (1942), music producer Tony Visconti (1944), singer-songwriter Jack Blades (1954), comedian/actor Cedric the Entertainer (1964), MLB player Chipper Jones (1972), MLB player Carlos Beltrán (1977), singer-songwriter/TV host Kelly Clarkson (1982), actor Jack Quaid (1992), and NFL player Jerry Jeudy (1999).

Okay, that was a massive ton of news shit, and a lot of it was super important. I hope you’re paying attention somewhat. I do hear from people that if not for these bullets I spend an hour each morning writing, they wouldn’t be nearly as well informed, and that makes it completely worthwhile to me. Time to go workout. Enjoy your day.