Random News: April 14, 2024

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s April 14, 2024, and it’s a Sunday. It’s a gray and gloomy morning here in Southern California, but I got a good night’s sleep and am feeling pretty chipper despite the world hanging on by a thread. I’m also showered and dressed for some reason, so now I’ll enjoy this cup of coffee and look at news with you.

• As you’re likely aware, last night Iranian drones and missiles lit up the night sky in an attack on Israel and the occupied West Bank.
• Over 300 drones and missiles navigated above Iran’s neighbors, including Jordan and Iraq — both with US military bases — before penetrating the airspace of Israel, who for decades has been considered to be the mortal enemy of Iran.
• A direct attack on Israel by Iran has long believed to be the Middle East’s doomsday scenario, and this was the first time it’s ever happened. And since Iran is backed by Russia and Israel by the USA, there was some understandably nervous chat last night of the start of WWIII.
• However… 
• Tehran’s offensive was highly choreographed, apparently designed to minimize casualties while maximizing spectacle. Iran launched its killer drones from its own territory some 1,000 miles away, purposefully giving Israel hours of advance notice.
• Only a small handful of locations were attacked, including a military base and an area in the Negev desert. Israel’s famed Iron Dome defenses fended off one of the largest drone attacks in history, but the Iranians would have been aware of that ahead of time.
• Had Iran wanted to inflict severe damage on Israel and directly target its civilian population, there are plenty of other ways this attack could have gone, like firing from a neighboring country where its non-state allies are prevalent, like Syria, Lebanon, Yemen, or Iraq.
• Plus, Iranian Foreign Minister Hossein Amir Abdollahian gave neighboring countries, including major US allies, 72-hour notice. That’s not how you do a surprise attack intended to inflict severe devastation.
• I am (duh) opposed to any kind of military violence as a means of solving the world’s problems, and I’m not defending Iran’s actions here in any way. But by going about this retaliatory counterattack the way they did, Iran made a good decision here.
• As a result, the need to escalate is minimized. President Biden called Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu yesterday and told him that the U.S. won't support any Israeli counterattack against Iran. Netanyahu replied that he understood.
• And yes, we already had some degree of direct involvement; U.S. forces in the region shot down some of the Iranian-launched drones that had targeted Israel.
• Biden is holding a call today with the G7 leaders to coordinate a united diplomatic response — not a violent military counterattack — to Iran.
• So this is obviously a situation that’s still in flux, but it’s a lot better news than I could have seen waking up this morning.
• Oh, and not that it’s relevant toward any of this, but the Apricot Pol Pot, aka Orange Julius Caesar, aka El Dumpo, did his very best to escalate things this morning, screaming threats in an all-caps social post to the Iranian leadership.
• An all-out war with many civilian deaths would help his campaign, you see. He’s probably extremely disappointed that more damage wasn’t inflicted.
• This would probably be a good space to remind folks about the Logan Act, a United States federal law that criminalizes negotiation by unauthorized American citizens with foreign governments having a dispute with the United States.
• As usual, if there’s a wrong way to do something — often an illegal way as well — the Dumpster will always choose that path.
• Moving on.
• As we’ve noted many times, tomorrow morning begins the first-ever criminal trial of a former US president.
• We spoke yesterday about the start of the process, jury selection. The will take at least a week and more like two.
• So let’s do a quick recap of why Dumples is facing a number of felony charges here.
• Donald John Trump is being tried for having falsified business records to hide the reimbursement of hush money payments that were made to influence the election outcome. He has pleaded not guilty and has denied having had sex with porn star Stormy Daniels in 2006 while his wife Melania had recently given birth to their child.
• Ten years later, in 2016 near the time of the presidential election, Dumpy knew the Access Hollywood tape catching Trump on a hot mic speaking graphically about his proclivity to grope women had just come out.
• His campaign panicked, knowing the potential impact on female voters if it was more well known that he was a rapist. Having information proving that he cheats on his wife made public would have likely sunk his campaign.
• So Dump needed to kill at least two additional stories before they came out. One was about him having sex with Karen McDougal, a former Playboy playmate, while he was married.
• Dump’s pal David Pecker, former CEO of the company that published the National Enquirer, paid off McDougal for her silence with $150,000 and two magazine cover stories.
• On October 27, 2016, a lawyer/fixer for Dump, Michael Cohen wired $30,000 to Daniels, and 12 days later Trump won the election over Hillary Clinton.
• And now it’s all coming out in a court of law. Note: this trial will not be televised, so hopefully you’ve got some good sources of info to be your eyes and ears in the court.
• And yes, I’ll fill you in as I learn things.
• Moving on.
• Let’s talk about homelessness.
• The U.S. Supreme Court will soon hear arguments in  a case called Grants Pass v. Johnson, which focuses on whether a local government can make it a crime to live outside when adequate shelter is not available.
• The erroneous premise of the case leads people to believe that there are only two potential outcomes: arrest those who are unhoused, or homelessness will become an inevitable and permanent fixture of the urban landscape.
• There is a third path, though… providing subsidized housing with services to people experiencing homelessness.
• There was a troubling 12% increase in homelessness between 2022 and 2023, with the estimated count rosing from 582,500 to 653,100 in just one year.
• Why? Easy. First, an insane lack of affordable housing. Second, the end of pandemic-era housing and social supports. And yes, third, the displacement of migrants and asylum seekers to cities where they lacked connections and housing.
• Some cities are doing it right. Denver’s median rents literally doubled in one decade, going  from $872 to $1,711. So their mayor Mike Johnston instituted the “House1000” initiative, which moved more than 1,000 people — more than 70 percent of the city’s unsheltered population  — off the street. 
• Here in California, Santa Clara County is one of the most expensive real estate markets in the country, where the average home is worth more than $1.5 million.
• But the county created thousands of units of permanent, deeply-affordable housing, while simultaneously ramping up its homelessness prevention efforts, resulting in 26,000 people housed and nearly 17,000 people receiving homelessness prevention services.
• So tell me, what sounds better to you: criminalizing some of the most vulnerable people in society with fines they can’t ay and jail time that prevents any chance of them turning around their lives, or making an investment in a future in which everyone has a place to call home?
• I know the answer and so do you.
• Let’s move on.
• It’s Sunday Gunday, my least-favorite regularly-scheduled part of this news thing I do.
• Two dead, one injured in a shooting at a park near a high school in Blue Springs, MO. Two dead, one injured in a shooting at a gas station in the Model City neighborhood of Miami, FL. Two women shot dead in Napa, CA. One child dead, ten other people (including three more children) wounded in a shooting in the Back of the Yards neighborhood of Chicago, IL. One dead, at least nine others injured in a shooting at a block party in Wynne, AR. One dead, at least eight others injured in a shooting after a party in Dallas, TX. A woman killed and a female teenager seriously wounded in a shooting in South Franklin Township, PA. One dead, one injured in a shooting in a bar in West Elizabeth, PA. One dead, a female juvenile injured in a shooting in Baton Rouge, LA. One shot dead in Syracuse, NY. One shot dead in Worcester, MA. One shot dead on the north side of Indianapolis, IN. One shot dead in Lynchburg, VA. Three shot, one critically, in South Memphis, TN. Three shot in Rockford, IL. A 7-year-old girl in critical condition after being shot multiple times at a shopping mall in Baltimore, MD. One in critical condition after being shot multiple times at an apartment complex in Conroe, TX. One in serious condition after a shooting outside a bar in Fresno, CA. A teenager in serious condition after a shooting at a party in Lakewood, CO. A teenager shot in Wilmington, DE. One shot in Greenville County, SC. One shot in Sunrise, FL. One shot in San Francisco, CA.
• Standard note: are these all the shootings? Far from it; only from the past two days and only after a short scroll of news.
• Don’t like it? Vote for candidates who support and vow to enact common-sense gun regulation. Thank you.
• Moving on. For the second day in a row, I’m going to mention the definition of pure evil, more common known as Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis.
• The Republican signed two controversial bills on Friday that he says will buffer law enforcement from what he calls "anti-police activists."
• SB 184 sets a 25-foot "no-go" zone around police and first responders who are "engaged in the lawful performance of a legal duty." People in violation of the rule will receive a verbal warning. Failure to comply will result in a second-degree misdemeanor.
• The much-worse HB 601 limits the abilities of citizen police oversight boards to investigate misconduct allegations, and gives power to sheriffs and police chiefs to appoint the members of said oversight boards.
• I don’t have to tell you the implications of this. Florida is continuing its path toward being a totalitarian nightmare under DeSantis. I wouldn’t put up with that anti-American shit if I lived there.
• And now, The Weather: “in the dark” by pecq
• Let’s do a chart. We’re in April 1968, and I am not yet alive. Lotsa good music, though.
• 1. (Sittin' On) The Dock Of The Bay (Otis Redding). 2. Young Girl (The Union Gap Featuring Gary Puckett). 3. Valleri (The Monkees). 4. La - La - Means I Love You (The Delfonics). 5. (Sweet Sweet Baby) Since You've Been Gone (Aretha Franklin). 6. Cry Like A Baby (The Box Tops). 7. Lady Madonna (The Beatles). 8. The Ballad Of Bonnie And Clyde (Georgie Fame). 9. Love Is Blue (L'amour Est Bleu) (Paul Mauriat And His Orchestra). 10. Honey (Bobby Goldsboro). 11. Mighty Quinn (Quinn The Eskimo) (Manfred Mann). 12. Simon Says (1910 Fruitgum Co.). 13. Scarborough Fair/Canticle (Simon & Garfunkel). 14. Dance To The Music (Sly & The Family Stone). 15. Kiss Me Goodbye (Petula Clark). 16. If You Can Want (Smokey Robinson & The Miracles). 17. (Theme From) Valley Of The Dolls (Dionne Warwick). 18. I Got The Feelin' (James Brown And The Famous Flames). 19. Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Was In) (The First Edition). 20. I Thank You (Sam & Dave).
• From the Sports Desk… please stop talking about Tiger Woods.
• He finished the Masters today with a 16-over 304, his highest 72-hole score in a career that spans three decades.
• He’s had a great career and came back from an injury that would have left many people unable to walk again. So that’s very admirable. But there are actual current golfers who are out there being competitive, and yet every single fucking headline about the Masters don’t mention them.
• It’s all Tiger, all the time. And that’s not fair to the sport itself.
• Today in history… Legions loyal to the Roman Senate defeat the forces of Mark Antony in the Battle of Forum Gallorum (43 BC). A celestial phenomenon is reported over Nuremberg, described as an aerial battle (1561). The Society for the Relief of Free Negroes Unlawfully Held in Bondage, the first abolition society in North America, is organized in Philadelphia by Benjamin Franklin and Benjamin Rush (1775). Hungary declares itself independent of Austria (1849). U.S. President Abraham Lincoln is shot in Ford's Theatre by John Wilkes Booth and dies the following day (1865). The first ever commercial motion picture house opens in New York City (1894). Muslims in the Ottoman Empire begin a massacre of Armenians in Adana (1909). The British passenger liner RMS Titanic hits an iceberg in the North Atlantic and begins to sink (1912). The first operational Space Shuttle, Columbia completes its first test flight (1981). The heaviest hailstones ever recorded, each weighing 2.2 pounds, fall on the Gopalganj district of Bangladesh, killing 92 (1986). The Human Genome Project is completed with 99% of the human genome sequenced to an accuracy of 99.99% (2003). The Oregon Supreme Court nullifies marriage licenses issued to same-sex couples a year earlier by Multnomah County (2005). Boko Haram abducts 276 girls from a school in Chibok, Nigeria (2014). The Jupiter Icy Moons Explorer — JUICE — is launched by the European Space Agency (2023).
• April 14 is the birthday of mathematician/astronomer/physicist Christiaan Huygens (1629), actor John Gielgud (1904), physician/politician François Duvalier (1907), actor Rod Steiger (1925), singer-songwriter/guitarist Loretta Lynn (1932), actress/activist Julie Christie (1940), MLV player Pete Rose (1941), guitarist/songwriter Ritchie Blackmore (1945), actor/comedian Brad Garrett (1960), MLB player Greg Maddux (1966), MLB player/manager Brad Ausmus (1969), actor Adrien Brody (1973), rapper Da Brat (1974), martial artist/boxer Anderson Silva (1975), actress Sarah Michelle Gellar (1977), NFL player Baker Mayfield (1995), NFL player D. J. Moore (1997), and NFL player Patrick Surtain II (2000).

Okay, well… it’s time for me to do things other than this. Enjoy your day.