Random News: May 14, 2025

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s May 14, 2025, and it’s a Wednesday. Seems like a nice day so far, with the sun rising in a clear blue sky here in Southern California.

• I can tell you the only thing you need to know about El Dumpo. It’s all actually very, very simple.
• Everything he does is only about one thing: himself.
• I know that seems obvious, right? But it’s much more literal than you may have previously assumed.
• He doesn’t care about the USA. He doesn’t care about Republicans. He doesn’t care about his family. He definitely doesn’t care about you. Not in the slightest.
• He has no opinion at all regarding Christianity, nor abortion, nor immigration. Anything he does that gives the appearance of caring is only to further a plan on getting more wealth for himself.
• He will take anyone’s money, be it a terror organization, a sworn enemy of the USA, anyone at all. Laws don’t matter to him. Ethics don’t either.
• And all of that makes him a man who is extraordinarily easy to manipulate.
• Take, for example, his current trip to the Middle East, where his statements mark a significant shift in U.S. foreign policy. Knowing he only cares about himself makes what he’s doing completely understandable.
• Because he’s getting personally enriched by each policy decision. That’s all you need to know, and everything else makes sense.
• Yesterday, Dumpy announced plans to lift sanctions against the Syrian government and expressed in his strongest terms yet a willingness to negotiate with Iran, signaling a reordering of U.S. foreign policy in which there are no “permanent enemies.”
• There are no permanent enemies because whoever pays him is now a friend. Get it?
• Dump said. “In fact, some of the closest friends of the United States of America are nations we fought wars against in generations past. And now they’re our friends and our allies.”
• I mean, that’s true, in referencing countries like Germany and Japan and Italy.
• But is it true today of Iran, Iraq, and Afghanistan? It is if they write him a big enough check.
• Here’s how it works: Dump goes to Saudi Arabia and UAE and Qatar, secures a range of new deals for the technology titans and business executives he brought with him, and they in turn pay him personally.
• It’s just boring old grift. There’s nothing new about Dump’s modus operandi.
• I mean, look at Syria alone. Dump is going to lift sanctions on the country right after its new leader, Ahmed al-Sharaa — a former al-Qaeda fighter linked to the deaths and injuries of dozens of American troops — proposed building a Trump Tower in the country.
• How can that possibly be okay with you, as an American or any human being with a sense of right and wrong?
• After all this time of the MAGA world being told how fundamentalist Islamic terror organizations are America’s enemy, and then… what? Dumpy gets a check and all is forgiven?
• Who funded the 9/11 attacks? Didn’t you have a solemn “Never Forget” bumper sticker on your truck? What, now you forget?
• Back to the news.
• Yesterday, Dump delivered remarks at a U.S.-Saudi investment summit and announced a $600 billion investment from Saudi Arabia, including what it touted as the "largest defense sales agreement in history."
• Dumpy was being courted around by Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, also known as MBS.
• The reason the USA has kept MBS at arm’s length? Long-held concerns from State Department reports and human rights groups about Saudi Arabia’s restriction of civil liberties, political rights, and women's rights.
• At the reception yesterday, Dump called MBS a "friend." U.S. intelligence agencies believe bin Salman ordered the killing of journalist Jamal Khashoggi in October 2018… but of course, it was then determined that he has immunity due to his role as Saudi prime minister.
• So that’s who Dump is considering a US partner now.
• Moving on.
• We should probably cover the spending bill that Orange Clown Man is trying to ram through Congressional approval.
• The short version? Tax breaks for the wealthy, drastic spending cuts that will have a life-or-death impact on millions of Americans, and lots of money for performative border security measures and race-based deportations.
• Speaker Mike Johnson loves Dump’s package (wink wink) and is pushing to approve the package and send it to the Senate by Memorial Day.
• Dump’s bill allegedly cuts taxes for the wealthiest of Americans by more than $5 trillion… and they have to come up with that money somewhere.
• A centerpiece of the package is more than $900 billion in reduced spending, most of that coming through the Medicaid program.
• House Republicans are looking to shift some of the cost of the Supplemental Nutrition and Assistance Program, known as SNAP, to the states.
• Republicans also are expanding work requirements for food aid recipients, which under current law applies to individuals without dependents aged 18-54. The bill expands the work requirement through age 64 and exempts only those caring for a dependent child under the age of 7.
• Assholes.
• A preliminary estimate from the nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office said the proposals would reduce the number of people with health care by 8.6 million.
• Where’s that money going, other than back into the pockets of the nations wealthiest people?
• The legislation would provide $46.5 billion to revive construction of Dump’s completely pointless wall along the U.S.-Mexico border, with some 700 miles of “primary” wall, 900 miles of river barriers and more.
• It throws another $4 billion to hire an additional 3,000 new Border Patrol agents as well as 5,000 new customs officers, and $2.1 billion for signing and retention bonuses.
• And they’re going to impose a $1,000 fee on migrants seeking asylum — something the nation has never done. Imagine being a refugee with nothing but the shirt on your back, and then getting shaken down for another grand.
• Oh, almost forget… the bill pays to “house” 100,000 more people in detention centers, and it calls for 10,000 more Immigration and Customs Enforcement officers and investigators.
• If this stuff sounds bad to you — and it certainly fucking should — pick up the phone and call your congressional rep today and make sure they know you will not be voting for anyone who supports it.
• Final note: the bill is expected to undergo further changes in the coming weeks in the House, and it would have to pass the Senate to become law.
• So now is your only time to make your voice heard. Don’t sit there like a lump. Do something.
• In other news…
• Yesterday, a federal grand jury indicted Milwaukee County Circuit Judge Hannah Dugan, who’s accused of helping a man evade immigration authorities, allowing the case against her to continue.
• Democrats have accused the Dump administration of trying to make a national example of Dugan to chill judicial opposition to the crackdown.
• Dugan faces up to six years in prison if she’s convicted. She was scheduled to enter a plea on Thursday.
• Dugan’s case is similar to one brought during the first Trump administration against a Massachusetts judge, who was accused of helping a man sneak out a courthouse back door to evade a waiting immigration enforcement agent.
• That case was eventually dismissed.
• Moving on.
• Believe it or not, Congress is doing at least one thing to resist one of Dumpy’s moves. No, I’m serious.
• In a rare bipartisan effort to defend its institutional authority, Congress is pushing back against Dump’s attempt to assert control over the Library of Congress — a move that experts say threatens the separation of powers and the integrity of the legislative branch’s premier research body.
• I mean… it’s literally their thing. It’s in the name.
• “It’s the Library of Congress, not the library of the executive branch. This is an example of executive overreach,” said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY).
• Pushing back on Dump’s designation of Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche as acting librarian, lawmakers said yesterday that control of the institution remains with its top career official, Robert R. Newlen.
• Newlen — contradicting what Dumpy is saying — told staff at the library that he is the acting head. But Dump had installed Blanche — his former defense attorney — as the acting head of the library just days after he abruptly fired Carla Hayden, the first woman and African American to serve as librarian of Congress, on Friday.
• As Senator Alex Padilla (D-CA) said, “To be clear, this is not a Democrat versus Republican thing. This is a separation-of-powers, co-equal-branches-of-government discussion.”
• Correct.
• Let’s move on with a hopeful note.
• Yesterday, Democrat John Ewing Jr. was elected Omaha, NE’s first Black mayor.
• Ewing defeated the city’s three-term Republican mayor, Jean Stothert, in a race where Democrats sought to tie her to Dumpy’s unpopular agenda — another warning sign for Republicans in a critical battleground area.
• Omaha and its suburbs have played a unique role in national politics, as the “blue dot” in a conservative state that wields an unusual amount of power in presidential contests.
• Stothert had kept her seat over three terms by building a broad-based coalition that included the city’s many independent voters.
• But Ewing’s campaign smartly linked her to economic uncertainty and anger about Dump’s horrible policies. She publicly backed Dumpy in the 2024 election.
• Everything Dump touches dies. Remember that.
• Moving on to the Business Desk…
• Yesterday, Microsoft said it's cutting 3% of its workforce across the board. That will amount to about 6,000 workers.
• The layoffs are expected to impact all levels and geographies, but will focus on reducing management levels.
• Microsoft Chief Financial Officer Amy Hood said on an April earnings call that the company was focused on streamlining "by reducing layers with fewer managers." She also noted the company's headcount in March was 2% higher than a year earlier, and down slightly compared to the end of 2024.
• Shrug. I can tell you from direct experience, fewer managers means more direct reports for each remaining one, meaning less time available to spend on each project, leading to initiatives and business plans falling by the wayside.
• Just in case you were expecting anything exciting from Microsoft soon. Just saying.
• And now, The Weather: “Lost Again” by Colin Miller
• Let’s do a chart.
• It’s 54 years ago in May 1971, and I will turn two the following month. Fuck I’m old.
• 1. Joy To The World (Three Dog Night). 2. Put Your Hand In The Hand (Ocean). 3. Never Can Say Goodbye (Jackson 5). 4. What's Going On (Marvin Gaye). 5. I Am… I Said/Done Too Soon (Neil Diamond). 6. If (Bread). 7. Stay Awhile (The Bells). 8. Another Day/Oh Woman Oh Why (Paul McCartney). 9. Just My Imagination (Running Away With Me) (The Temptations). 10. Chick-A-Boom (Don't Ya Jes' Love It) (Daddy Dewdrop). 11. Power To The People (John Lennon/Plastic Ono Band Yoko Ono/Plastic Ono Band). 12. Bridge Over Troubled Water/Brand New Me (Aretha Franklin). 13. We Can Work It Out (Stevie Wonder). 14. One Toke Over The Line  (Brewer And Shipley). 15. She's A Lady (Tom Jones). 16. Me And You And A Dog Named Boo (Lobo). 17. Timothy (The Buoys). 18. Me And Bobby McGee (Janis Joplin). 19. Love Her Madly (The Doors). 20. Doesn't Somebody Want To Be Wanted (The Partridge Family Starring Shirley Jones Featuring David Cassidy).
• From the Sports Desk… some playoff scores and quite a bit more.
• In the NBA: the 4-seed Pacers have shocked the 1-seed Cavaliers, winning 114-105 and sending Cleveland home while punching a ticket to the Eastern Conference Finals. The Thunder beat the Nuggets 112-105, taking a 3-2 lead in the series.
• In the NHL: the Stars beat the Jets 3-1, and they also now lead the series 3-1.
• The Sports Desk also notes that Pete Rose — who is quite dead, I should add — is no longer permanently banned from baseball.
• The decision makes Rose eligible to be inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame. 
• Should he be? Rose is indeed baseball’s all-time hits leader. He is inarguably one of the sport’s best players in history.
• And Rose also placed bets on baseball while playing for and managing the Cincinnati Reds. 
• It’s not just Rose, I should mention. There are 17 deceased individuals impacted by yesterday’s announcement. Eight of those were part of the Black Sox scandal, including "Shoeless" Joe Jackson (who will also almost certainly be a Hall of Famer).
• No matter how you feel about Rose, I’m loathe to mention that Ol’ Tamtits McGee — also known as Donnie Dump — met with MLB commissioner Rob Manfred a couple of weeks ago and pressured him to reinstate Rose.
• Dump wrote in a social post about Rose, “He never betted against himself, or the other team. He had the most hits, by far, in baseball history, and won more games than anyone in sports history.”
• Parts of that are actually sort of true. Rose had the most hits, yes, but “by far” is debatable with his 4,256 compared to Ty Cobb’s 4,189. “By far” in this case is less than 3%.
• And Rose played in the most games in “sports history,” with 3,562 games. It’s hard to say with certainty if his teams actually won the most. Baseball is not an individual sport, obviously. Wins and losses are MLB specs reserved for pitchers.
And whether or not Rose bet for or against his own team can never be proven. Most criminals claim they’re innocent. Shrug. Anyway, congrats to him, I suppose. He was an exciting part of the game for a good while.
Today in history… Robert II of France names his son Henry I as junior King of the Franks (1027). Henry III of England is captured and forced to sign the Mise of Lewes, making Simon de Montfort the effective ruler of England (1264). English colonists establish "James Fort," which would become Jamestown, VA, the earliest permanent English settlement in the Americas (1607). Edward Jenner administers the first smallpox inoculation (1796). The last witchcraft trial held in the United States begins in Salem, MA, after Lucretia Brown, an adherent of Christian Science, accused Daniel Spofford of attempting to harm her through his mental powers (1878). Israel is declared to be an independent state and a provisional government is established (1948). Eight Communist bloc countries, including the Soviet Union, sign a mutual defense treaty called the Warsaw Pact (1955). A white mob twice attacks a Freedom Riders bus near Anniston, AL, before fire-bombing the bus and attacking the civil rights protesters who flee the burning vehicle (1961). Skylab, the United States' first space station, is launched (1973).
• May 14 is the birthday of photographer Thomas Wedgwood (1771), biologist Ed Ricketts (1897), geneticist/folklorist Charlotte Auerbach (1899). NHL player Gump Worsley (1929), singer-songwriter/actor Bobby Darin (1936), singer-songwriter/bass player Jack Bruce (1943), film director/producer George Lucas (1944), singer-songwriter David Byrne (1952), film director/producer Robert Zemeckis (1952), singer-songwriter Tom Cochrane (1953), actor Tim Roth (1961), singer-songwriter Ian Astbury (1962), guitarist C.C. DeVille (1962), bass player Mike Inez (1966), NFL player Tony Siragusa (1967), actress Cate Blanchett (1969), film director Sofia Coppola (1971), singer-songwriter Dan Auerbach (1979), NFL player Frank Gore (1983), computer programmer/businessman Mark Zuckerberg (1984), NFL player Clay Matthews III (1986), NFL player Rob Gronkowski (1989), actress Miranda Cosgrove (1993), and MLB player James Outman (1997).

That seems like plenty of news, but really, we barely scratch the surface here each day of all the important shit that happens. But there are other stories and other days. This is enough for now. Enjoy your day.