Random News: May 9, 2025

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s May 9, 2025, and if you can believe it, it’s a Friday once again! Today is already starting out in an improved way; specifically, I’m not on the 405 North sitting in traffic as I was 24 hours ago. Sometimes you need to do things you don’t want to do to appreciate the normalcy of things all the more.

• We should start with the big story from yesterday: after just one day of seclusion in the Vatican, cardinals ended the 2025 papal conclave with the election of a new pontiff.
• Side note: I am not only not a Catholic; I’m an atheist with Jewish ethnicity. Why am I noting the election of a new pope?
• Because it’s a historical moment that has a major impact on the world. For 2,000 years, beyond being the leader of the Catholic church, the pope has been a massively influential figure on the world.
• The man chosen, Cardinal Robert Prevost, will be known as Pope Leo XIV — the first pope ever from the United States. 
• He’s from Chicago, graduated from Villanova, and reportedly is a baseball fan, though there is some controversy as to whether he supports the Cubs or the White Sox. Reports are conflicting.
• More importantly, while he's considered a centrist, on many social issues he's seen as progressive, embracing marginalized groups like Francis, who championed migrants and the poor.
• On the down side? Pope Leo opposes ordaining women as deacons, for instance, so he's seen as conservative on church doctrine.
• And that doesn’t affect me at all, but I wanted to note it.
• Pope Leo is also a dual citizen of Peru, where he worked for decades. He was the head of the church's Dicastery for Bishops, meaning he oversaw the selection of new bishops.
• But perhaps the thing that I enjoy most about Pope Leo XIV is that the MAGA world has already decided he’s their enemy.
• He has shared and commented on social media posts that are critical of Dumpy and JD Vance, particularly about their attacks on due process and immigrants.
• A couple of months ago, he posted a direct response, saying,“JD Vance is wrong: Jesus doesn't ask us to rank our love for others.”
• I agree.
• Let’s move on.
• The tension building between the people of the USA (who support our Constitution) and the Dump administration (who does not) is rising.
• A testy clash between Senator Jeff Merkley (D-OR) and FBI director Kash Patel during a Senate hearing yesterday made it pretty clear which side Team Dump was on.
• Patel seemed astounded to learn that yes, every person in the USA accused of a crime was supposed to be given due process.
• Merkley simply asked Patel to read the Constitution, which clearly states that “no person” should be punished for crimes without a trial.
• Patel responded, “It doesn't say that.”
• Fact check: it does.
• And Merkley pointed it out, and mentioned that it's also been affirmed by the Supreme Court repeatedly.
• These MAGA folks are about a hair’s breadth away from cancelling the Constitution altogether. Are you okay with that?
• Let’s move on.
• Republicans are having to face the facts that Dumpy’s policies are not only going to ruin the lives of their constituents; it’s going to make their own political careers come to an abrupt end.
• Rep. Juan Ciscomani is telling fellow Republicans he won't support steep cuts that could hit thousands of residents in his Arizona district — “my neighbors, people my kids go to school with” — who depend on it.
• Republican Rep. Don Bacon, who represents the liberal-leaning “blue dot” of Omaha, Nebraska, is trying to protect several Biden-era green energy tax breaks. He's warning colleagues that “you can’t pull the rug out from under” businesses that have already sunk millions of dollars into renewable developments in Nebraska and beyond.
• Republican Rep. Nick LaLota of New York, it’s simple: “No Salt. No Deal. For Real.” He wants to revive — and bump up — what’s known as the SALT deduction, which allows taxpayers to write off a portion of their state and local taxes. Capping the deduction at $10,000 hurt many of his Long Island constituents.
• In total, dozens of Republicans from contested congressional districts have positioned themselves at the center of the negotiating table.
• They’re trying to kiss Dump’s ass while simultaneously saving their own asses. It just doesn’t work that way. Either support Dump and screw your voters, or grow a spine and do your job. There’s no middle ground.
• Back to Medicaid for a moment.
• The main qualification for low-income or disabled Americans to have health insurance paid for by the state and federal government is being below a certain income level.
• But Republicans insist that all those individuals should also be required to work.
• It’s a state-by-state policy. Arkansas and 12 other states got the greenlight to add these work requirements during the first Dump Administration, but after just a few months, courts halted those plans.
• Multiple studies show that more than 90 percent of eligible adults on Medicaid nationally are already working, or are exempt from the requirement because they have disabilities, are in school, or are caregiving.
• Despite that, Arkansas, Ohio, Arizona, South Carolina, Idaho, and Iowa are in talks to add their own work rules that would cut people off from Medicaid.
• It’s sick and vile. But that’s MAGA for ya’.
• Moving on.
• We recently told you about the crash and burn of Ed Martin, whose support of Nazis led to him being dropped from consideration for the role of U.S. attorney for the District of Columbia.
• So Dumpy has a new candidate: Fox News host Jeanine Pirro.
• Yes. The lady who has been lampooned as “Judge Box of Wine” on SNL many times.
• A quick note of the loudmouthed Pirro: her false statements about the 2020 election were cited as evidence during the Dominion Voting System’s litigation against Fox that resulted in the network paying a $787.5 million settlement in 2023.
• Dump described Pirro as “incredibly well qualified for this position.”
• Pirro is currently a defendant in the $2.7 billion defamation lawsuit filed against Fox by another voting technology company, Smartmatic. 
• And at the end of Dump’s first term, he pardoned Pirro’s former husband, Albert J. Pirro Jr., an attorney who had been convicted on tax evasion charges when she was district attorney.
• Fuck all of these people.
• Let’s move on.
• Yesterday, Dumpy abruptly fired Librarian of Congress Carla Hayden.
• Hayden was notified in an email late last night from the White House’s Presidential Personnel Office. Confirmed by the Senate to the job in 2016, Hayden was the first woman and the first African American to be librarian of Congress.
• Her 10-year term was set to expire next year, but she’d been accused of promoting children’s books with “radical” content and literary material authored by Dump opponents.
• This is what dictatorship looks like.
• In other news…
• RIP going out to former Supreme Court Justice David H. Souter, who served nearly 20 years on the bench. He was 85.
• Souter was a reliably liberal vote on abortion, church-state relations, freedom of expression, and the accessibility of federal courts.
• And now, The Weather: “Ill at Ease” by Preoccupations
• From the Sports Desk… playoffs.
• In the NBA: the Timberwolves beat the Curry-less Warriors 117-93, tying their series at one each.
• In the NHL: the Senators beat the Hurricanes 3-1, tying their series at 1-1. The Oilers took the Golden Knights to overtime, winning 5-4 and taking a 2-0 lead in the series.
• Today in history… England and Portugal formally ratify their alliance with the signing of the Treaty of Windsor, making it the oldest diplomatic alliance in the world which is still in force (1386). The figure who later became Mr. Punch — as in Punch and Judy — makes his first recorded appearance in England (1662). Nathan Bedford Forrest surrenders his forces at Gainesville, AL (1865). The Food and Drug Administration announces it will approve birth control as an additional indication for Searle's Enovid, making Enovid the world's first approved oral contraceptive pill (1960). The United States House Committee on the Judiciary opens formal and public impeachment hearings against President Richard Nixon (1974). The COVID-19 recession causes the U.S. unemployment rate to hit 14.9 percent, its worst rate since the Great Depression (2020). President Joe Biden signs the 2022 Lend-Lease Act into law, expediting American equipment to Ukraine and other Eastern European countries (2022).
• May 9 is the birthday of abolitionist activist John Brown (1800), archaeologist Howard Carter (1874), prostitute Denham Fouts (1914), singer-songwriter Hank Snow (1914), journalist Mike Wallace (1918), guitarist Nokie Edwards (1935), actor Albert Finney (1936), director/producer James L. Brooks (1940), singer-songwriter Richie Furay (1944), singer-songwriter/pianist Billy Joel (1949), MLB player Tony Gwynn (1960), singer-songwriter Dave Gahan (1962), NHL player Steve Yzerman (1965), rapper Ghostface Killah (1970), actress Rosario Dawson (1979), singer-songwriter Andrew W.K. (1979), MLB player Prince Fielder (1984), NFL player Jake Long (1985), and NFL player Trey Lance (2000).

I’m sure there’s plenty of other news, but I’m out of time. It happens. We’ll talk about more stuff over the weekend, as we always do. Enjoy your day.