Random News: May 29, 2025

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s May 29, 2025, and it’s a Thursday for some reason. So much stuff going on around this world of ours, it’s damn near impossible to know where to start. I suppose I’ll start at the start.

• Donnie Dump’s entire economic agenda was thrown into chaos late yesterday as a US federal court ruled against his authority to levy some of his most sweeping tariffs.
• Yes… most of Dumpy’s tariffs — including those on Chinese goods — are illegal.
• Dumpy’s defeat is great for the rest of us; stocks soared on the news that a three-judge panel at the US Court of International Trade blocked Dump’s global tariffs, which he imposed citing emergency economic powers.
• As you’d expect, the Dump administration appealed the ruling, and plans to take the case all the way to the Supreme Court if need be.
• And even before the tariffs were shot down in court, Dumpy had to address an embarrassing new acronym for his trade policies: TACO.
• It stands for "Trump Always Chickens Out,” describing a pattern of stocks plunging when Dump announces stiff new tariffs, then surging when he eases up on them days or weeks later.
• So, as usual, this is a situation in flux with a lot of details still to come. I can tell you, from the perspective of someone who works with a bunch of companies who manufacture and import products from around the world, the rollercoaster caused by Señor Taco has made this year a nightmare for many.
• It would be nice to settle down for a bit.
• Moving on.
• Goodbye Elon Musk. Your presence in our government will not be missed.
• Mucky is leaving his government role as a top adviser to Dump after spearheading ill-conceived efforts to overhaul the federal bureaucracy.
• His departure, announced last night, marks the end of a turbulent chapter that included thousands of layoffs, the evisceration of government agencies, and reams of litigation.
• Elmo thought it was going to be easy to tear apart the fabric of our society, but it turns out that we have systems to prevent exactly what he was attempting to do. He struggled in the unfamiliar environment of Washington, and he accomplished far less than he hoped.
• If you recall, he loudly projected that he was going to hit a target for spending reduction by $2 trillion. Then the goal was lowered to $1 trillion. Then to $150 billion.
• Yesterday, Elmo posted on his social network that he was leaving his dubiously-legal Department of Government Efficiency, known as DOGE.
• Perhaps it was only a coincidence that his departure comes one day after he criticized the centerpiece of Dump’s legislative agenda by saying he was disappointed over Dumpy’s so-called “big beautiful bill.”
• In an interview, Elmo said, “I think a bill can be big or it could be beautiful. But I don’t know if it could be both.”
• In other news…
• Yesterday, the Dump administration moved to dismantle one of the federal government’s largest and longest-standing affirmative action programs.
• They are siding with two white-owned contracting businesses that challenged its constitutionality. Figures, huh?
• The Justice Department said that a Transportation Department program that has carved out an estimated $37 billion for minority- and women-owned businesses violates the equal protection clause of the Constitution.
• If a judge approves the proposed settlement, the Disadvantaged Business Enterprise Program (DBE) will be prohibited from awarding contracts based on race and sex, effectively ending its founding mission.
• The settlement is still subject to challenge by a coalition of businesses that intervened in the case after Dump took office, arguing that the program is essential to removing entrenched barriers that minorities and women face in the $759 billion contracting sector.
• Dump wants to build more barriers for women and minorities, not tear them down.
• Let’s move on.
• Yesterday, misogynistic assholes and abusers of a multitude of women — brothers Andrew and Tristan Tate — have been charged in Britain with rape and other crimes.
• Andrew Tate, 38, faces charges related to three women that include rape, actual bodily harm, human trafficking, and controlling prostitution for gain. Tristan Tate, 36, faces charges related to one woman that include rape, human trafficking, and actual bodily harm.
• The Tates, who are dual U.S. and British citizens, were arrested in Romania in late 2022 and formally indicted last year on charges that they participated in a criminal ring that lured women to Romania, where they were allegedly sexually exploited.
• It’s a very good thing these guys are being charged in the UK, because otherwise, Dumpy would just immediately pardon them.
• Dumpy would never hold a man responsible for rape. He doesn’t believe women have any right to refuse sex.
• Speaking of Dumpy’s pardon spree…
• Yesterday, Dump commuted the sentence of notorious former Chicago street gang leader Larry Hoover, who was serving multiple life sentences in federal prison.
• Hoover, 74, the co-founder of the Chicago gang Gangster Disciples, was already serving a 200-year sentence on state charges in Illinois for the 1973 murder of a 19-year-old, when he was convicted of federal charges in 1997, and sentenced to six life terms.
• Even though he was behind bars, federal prosecutors had accused him of leading a criminal enterprise to continue overseeing the gang. Hoover had been serving six life sentences in a maximum security prison in Colorado.
• But maybe Dumpy doesn’t understand that after he’s released from federal custody, Hoover still faces the remainder of his 200-year sentence in Illinois, dating back to 1973 for Young's murder.
• But Dump wasn’t done throwing around pardons like paper towels in a flood zone.
• He also pardoned Louisiana rap artist NBA YoungBoy, whose real name is Kentrell Gaulden.
• Last year, Gaulden was sentenced to just under two years in prison on gun-related charges after he acknowledged having possessed weapons despite being a convicted felon. Gaulden also pleaded guilty to his role in a prescription drug fraud ring in Utah.
• Is that all? Nope, Dump is letting all the best people out of jails where they’d been placed by judges and juries.
• Yesterday, Dump also pardoned James Callahan, a New York union leader who pleaded guilty to failing to report $315,000 in gifts from an advertising firm and was about to be sentenced.
• And he pardoned former Connecticut Gov. John Rowland, a Republican who was sentenced to 30 months in federal prison for charges related to concealing his involvement in two federal election campaigns.
• And he pardoned Michael Grimm, a New York Republican who resigned from Congress after being convicted of tax fraud.
• What the actual fuck? I thought conservatives were all about keeping criminals off the street and having people be accountable for their actions?
• Moving on to some immigration news.
• Yesterday, U.S. District Judge Michael Farbiarz ruled that Secretary of State Marco Rubio violated the Constitution when he stripped Mahmoud Khalil of his green card and ordered him deported over his pro-Palestinian activism at Columbia University.
• Despite that, Farbiarz declined to order Khalil released from federal immigration detention in Louisiana, where he's been held since ICE agents arrested him in New York City on March 8. 
• The judge said Khalil had not yet proven that his detention is causing him "irreparable harm," and gave him more time to provide evidence that it is. How the fuck is being kidnapped and held without trial not considered irreparable harm?
• For me, it would be reparable… for the sum of $1 million per day that I was illegally held, if anyone wants to know the price for my freedom being taken from me.
• In related news…
• Yesterday, U.S. District Judge Christina Reiss released Kseniia Petrova, a Russian-born scientist and Harvard University researcher, as she deals with a criminal charge of smuggling frog embryos into the United States.
• Colleagues and academics testified on Petrova's behalf, saying she is doing valuable research to advance cures for cancer.
• Petrova, 30, is currently in the custody of the U.S. Marshals Service in Louisiana. She is expected to be brought to Massachusetts as early as tomorrow in preparation for a bail hearing next week on the smuggling charge.
• What’s the deal with the frogs? She’d been vacationing in France, where she stopped at a lab specializing in splicing superfine sections of frog embryos and obtained a package of samples to be used for cancer research.
• In her ruling, Reiss noted that the immigration officers' actions were unlawful, that Petrova didn't present a danger, and that the embryos were non-living, non-hazardous, and “posed a threat to no one.”
• Let’s move on.
• And now, The Weather: “Assis” by spill tab
• Let’s do a chart. It’s 40 years ago in May 1985, and I’m wrapping up my junior year of high school. That summer, I’d head off to Boston, MA to attend a semester at Berklee College of Music.
• It was a great experience for me. I wasn’t that great at being a responsible student, but I did hook up with a girl named Juley and, well… yeah. The other memorable part of that summer was watching Live Aid on a staticky TV in our dorm room.
• This was the top of the Billboard 200 albums chart at the time.
• 1. No Jacket Required (Phil Collins). 2. We Are The World (USA For Africa). 3. Beverly Hills Cop (Soundtrack). 4. Born In The U.S.A. (Bruce Springsteen). 5. Around The World In A Day (Prince And The Revolution). 6. Diamond Life (Sade). 7. Southern Accents (Tom Petty And The Heartbreakers). 8. Like A Virgin (Madonna). 9. Make It Big (Wham!). 10. Centerfield (John Fogerty). 11. Reckless (Bryan Adams). 12. Songs From The Big Chair (Tears For Fears). 13. The Power Station (The Power Station), 14. Nightshift (Commodores). 15. Private Dancer (Tina Turner). 16. Crazy From The Heat EP (David Lee Roth). 17. The Breakfast Club (Soundtrack). 18. Wheels Are Turning (REO Speedwagon). 19. Break Out (The Pointer Sisters). 20. Agent Provocateur (Foreigner).
• From the Sports Desk… we’re getting down to the nitty gritty in both basketball and hockey playoffs.
• In the NBA: the Western Conference finals are done, with the Thunder beating the Timberwolves 124-94 and winning the series 4-1. OKC is headed to the NBA championship.
• Similarly in the NHL: the Panthers have eliminated Hurricanes with a 5-3 win in game 5, also winning the series 4-1. They will head to the Stanley Cup finals.
• It’s quite possible that we will have the championship matchups in both basketball and hockey as early as tomorrow.
• Today in history… The Mongols entered Kaifeng after a successful siege and began looting in the fallen capital of the Jin dynasty (1233). Charles II is restored to the throne of England, Scotland and Ireland (1660). Rhode Island becomes the last of North America's original Thirteen Colonies to ratify the Constitution and become one of the United States (1790). Wisconsin is admitted as the 30th U.S. state (1848). Sojourner Truth delivers her famous ‘Ain't I a Woman?’ speech at the Woman's Rights Convention in Akron, OH (1851). The pharmacist John Pemberton places his first advertisement for Coca-Cola, which appeared in The Atlanta Journal (1886). Igor Stravinsky's ballet score The Rite of Spring receives its premiere performance in Paris, France, provoking a riot (1913). Albert Einstein's theory of general relativity is tested and later confirmed by Arthur Eddington and Andrew Claude de la Cherois Crommelin (1919). Edmund Hillary and Sherpa Tenzing Norgay become the first people to reach the summit of Mount Everest (1953). Tom Bradley is elected the first black mayor of Los Angeles, CA (1973). Space Shuttle Discovery completes the first docking with the International Space Station (1999).
• May 29 is the birthday of English king Charles II (1630), poet/playwright G. K. Chesterton (1874), actor/singer Bob Hope (1903), US president John F. Kennedy (1917), race car driver Al Unser (1939), singer-songwriter/composer Danny Elfman (1953), failed assassin John Hinckley Jr. (1955), singer LaToya Jackson (1956), actress Annette Bening (1958), musician/activist Melissa Etheridge (1961), singer-songwriter/guitarist Noel Gallagher (1967), actress/activist Laverne Cox (1972), singer-songwriter Mel B (1975), comedian Daniel Tosh (1975), NBA player Carmelo Anthony (1984), NBA player Austin Reaves (1998), and NFL player Puka Nacua (2001).

If I had more time, I could include at least twice as much shit as we were able to list today. Lots going on. But ya know, you are capable — all on your own — of finding news beyond the limited scope of what I cover here. Just saying. Enjoy your day.