Random News: August 14, 2025

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s August 14, 2025, and it’s a Thursday for some reason. Something that’s been coming on for awhile but now I am forced to admit: my fucking lower back is out. I’m very familiar with back pain and know the causes in my case… it had just been awhile since I went through an episode of it. So I’ll try to distract myself from the awful pain by taking a look at the news, and eventually taking some ibuprofen.

• Yesterday, the demented blob who calls himself the president said that there will be “very severe consequences” if Russian President Vladimir Putin doesn’t agree to stop his war in Ukraine after their summit tomorrow in Alaska.
• What kind of consequences, Donnie?
• He doesn’t know. That’s because there will be none. Dump’s comment came after attending a virtual meeting with European leaders, including Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy, who told the group that Putin is bluffing about seeking peace.
• In any case, the meeting is set up with just Dump and Putin and their translators. That’s the same as their last meeting in Helsinki, which was a disaster.
• The meeting is set to take place at the Elmendorf-Richardson military base in Anchorage, starting about 11:30am local time (3:30pm ET). Apparently there will be a joint press conference after.
• Guess we’ll see how it goes (he said, knowing it won’t be good for the USA or for Ukraine).
• Moving on.
• Meanwhile, Dump is busy attacking his own country with National Guard who arrived in Washington, D.C., on Tuesday. Yesterday, they ramped up, taking over the city’s police department.
The law lets Dump control the D.C. police department for a month, but how aggressive the federal presence will be remains unclear. Also, not once in his life has Dumpy been inclined to follow laws, so there’s no saying how long this occupation will actually continue.
• At least he’s focused on the important things…
• “We’re also gonna fix up a place called Washington DC. We’re gonna make it so beautiful again. We’re gonna be redoing the parks, redoing the grass.”
• What?
• Dumpy continued on this important matter. “You know, grass has a lifetime like people have a lifetime. And the lifetime of this grass has long been gone, when you look at the parks, where the grass is old, tired, exhausted.”
• He kept on this topic. promising to replace existing green areas around Washington with “the finest grass” and insisted that he knew a lot about green spaces “because I own a lot of golf courses and, if you don’t have good grass, you’re not in business very long.”
• So, arrest homeless people and put in better grass. That will definitely stop people form talking about Dump’s participation in orgies involving children with his pal Jeffrey Epstein. Can’t wait to smell that grass, Don!
• On a relevant side note, Sean Charles Dunn has been arrested for the felonious crime of… throwing a wrapped Subway sandwich at a Customs and Border Patrol agent in D.C..
• Many of you saw the viral video of Dunn — wearing a pink collared shirt, shorts, crew socks, and New Balance running shoes, yelling at several law enforcement officers and calling them fascists while holding a sandwich.
• Jeanine Pirro, U.S. attorney for the District of Columbia — yes, the drunk lady from Fox News known as “Judge Wine Box,” among other names — announced the felony charges against Dunn, 37.
• Following his arrest, Dunn told one of the arresting officers: “I did it. I threw a sandwich.”
• Well, I sure hope that officer is able to eventually recover from the trauma of being lightly brushed by some bread, meat, and lettuce wrapped in tissue. Perhaps we could reinstate similar charges for the people who killed and beat D.C. officers on January 6, 2021.
• Let’s move on.
• A note from the Immigration Desk…
• Florida Governor and failed presidential candidate Ron DeSantis is preparing to open a second immigration detention facility at a state prison in north Florida, as a federal judge decides the fate of the state’s holding center for immigrants at an isolated airstrip in the Florida Everglades dubbed “Alligator Alcatraz.”
• Today, DeSantis announced that the new facility is to be housed at the Baker Correctional Institution, a state prison about 43 miles west of downtown Jacksonville. It is expected to hold 1,300 immigration detention beds, though they say that capacity could be expanded to 2,000.
• After opening the other concentration camp last month, DeSantis justified building the second detention center that he dubbed “Deportation Depot,” by saying that Dumpy needs the additional capacity to hold and deport more immigrants.
• Shitty fascist assholes.
• Moving on.
• Back in January 2020, the Congressional Budget Office predicted the U.S. would reach a national debt of $37 trillion after the fiscal year 2030.
• They were mistaken. Due to the pandemic, that horrid milestone was reached today. Both the Dump and Biden administrations borrowed heavily to stabilize the national economy.
• But Dump’s Big Bullshit Bill now will expand that debt considerably, with most of the money being spent on tax breaks for the wealthiest 10% of Americans, along with the cost of building concentration camps and expanding Dump’s ICE gestapo.
• Moving on.
• Let’s assume for a moment that we are indeed having elections in 2026.
• And that is not, right now, a foregone conclusion. But let’s say it is for the purpose of my next point.
• Even if things stay exactly as they are under current laws, the electoral system is fucked up.
• “But Zak,” you say. “Your state of California has 55 electoral votes, based on the fact that you live in the most populous state. How that that be unfair?”
• Well, my sweet summer child, let me give you some numbers. Yes, California has the most electoral votes with 55. But that 55 is spread out over a population of 39,776,830 people. That gives us one electoral vote per 723,215 people.
• But Wyoming — the least populous state — has just three votes. Isn’t that fair?
• No, not at all. Because with Wyoming’s population of 584,153 people, there is one electoral vote per 194,717 people.
• So each of Wyoming’s votes accounts for nearly FOUR TIMES that of each Californian. Tell me again that the electoral college is a just and well-thought out way to elect a leader. 
• It’s fucking bullshit is what it is. And of course, with Dump now editing the numbers of the census, forcing unfair gerrymandered congressional districts, and other factors, our voting systems are bound to get even more unfair as we head into the next election cycle.
• Let’s move on.
• A note from the Health Desk…
• Fewer Americans are reporting that they drink alcohol amid a growing belief that even moderate alcohol consumption is a health risk, according to a Gallup poll released yesterday.
• I’m not going to bore you with my story, but the short version is that like a lot of people in my generation, I drank pretty often when I was young.
• In my mid-teens and twenties, drinking alcohol was just part of normal existence. It was rare that a weekend went by that I wasn’t drunk at some point.
• In my early 30s, I started to have a bad reaction to alcohol. If I drank enough to even get a buzz on, I’d end up feeling hungover — physically and mentally ill — for days afterwards.
• While I was never an alcoholic, it became clear to me that any momentary benefit I got from being drunk was greatly outweighed by the prolonged misery I’d experience afterward.
• As a result, I essentially stopped drinking. I’d have a beer or a glass of wine or a cocktail here and there. Eventually, even that stopped. I think I’ve had one beer in the past few years, to my recollection.
• Anyway, I’m not alone. The new survey finds that 54% of U.S. adults say they drink alcoholic beverages such as liquor, wine, or beer. It’s the lowest percentage recorded in nearly 90 years.
• The same survey offers a record high percentage of U.S. adults — 53% — who now say moderate drinking is bad for their health, up from 28% just ten years ago in 2015.
• And according to Gallup, even those who consume alcohol are drinking less. Keep in mind that this doesn’t indicate that everyone is suddenly sober — including myself. But the negative impacts of cannabis use are — in my opinion and many others — far less damaging than that of alcohol consumption.
• And now, The Weather: “Garden Spies” by Wombo
• Let’s do a chart.
• It’s 26 years ago in August 1999, a time that — at least in theory — should have been an excellent moment in my life. My son was born at the end of June that year. I was working in a swanky building in Santa Monica, across the street from the Water Park near 26th and Olympic.
• But the company who employed me was starting to have major issues, and my marriage to my then-wife was definitely heading downhill. And I, at age 30, was dealing with bouts of anxiety and depression.
• I’ll spare you the story arc of my character and tell you that there’s a happy ending to all this. I eventually get a new job, my son is healthy, I divorce my then-wife, and live happily ever after.
• Um… well, I live, and mature, and grow more capable of dealing with challenging shit as time goes by. That’s more accurate.
• Here was the top of the Billboard Hot 100 singles chart at the time. The music was not really great. Pop music — in my opinion — is almost never really the best music around in any era.
• 1. Genie In A Bottle (Christina Aguilera). 2. Tell Me It's Real (K-Ci & JoJo). 3. Bills, Bills, Bills (Destiny's Child). 4. All Star (Smash Mouth). 5. If You Had My Love (Jennifer Lopez). 6. I Want It That Way (Backstreet Boys). 7. Summer Girls (LFO). 8. Last Kiss (Pearl Jam). 9. Where My Girls At? (702). 10. Wild Wild West (Will Smith Featuring Dru Hill & Kool Mo Dee). 11. Jamboree (Naughty by Nature Featuring Zhane). 12. It's Not Right But It's Okay (Whitney Houston). 13. Bailamos (Enrique Iglesias). 14. Someday (Sugar Ray). 15. Fortunate (Maxwell). 16. I Will Remember You (Live) (Sarah McLachlan). 17. Kiss Me (Sixpence None the Richer). 18. So Anxious (Ginuwine). 19. She's So High (Tal Bachman). 20. Livin' La Vida Loca (Ricky Martin).
• From the Sports Desk… we're exactly 3/4 of the way through the 2025 MLB regular season. Time to take another look at the standings to see who might end up being a playoff team. here are the top two teams in each division right this moment.
• AL East: Blue Jays (70-51), Red Sox (66-56).
• AL Central: Tigers (70-52), Guardians (62-57).
• AL West: Astros (68-53), Mariners (67-54).
• NL East: Phillies (69-51), Mets (64-56).
• NL Central: Brewers (76-44), Cubs (68-51).
• NL West: Padres (69-52), Dodgers (68-53).
• Also from the Sports Desk, you know how I harp on NFL preseason injuries?
• Sometimes they happen without a game being involved.
• Cleveland rookie quarterback Shedeur Sanders sustained an oblique injury during drills ahead of practice yesterday and is considered unlikely to play in the Browns’ preseason game against the Eagles.
• The Browns said Sanders is day to day. The old saying in the football world is that the Browns are where quarterbacks go to die.
• Cleveland is currently carrying six QBs on the roster: Joe Flacco, Kenny Pickett, Dillon Gabriel, Shedeur Sanders, Tyler Huntley, and Deshaun Watson. I’m pretty sure that at least four of them couldn’t play in an NFL game right now for various reasons.
• Today in history… Huh Guang presents articles of impeachment against Liu He for 1127 offenses that included sexual debauchery and fiscal negligence (74 BC). Duncan I is killed in battle against his cousin and rival Macbeth, who replaces him as King of Scotland (1040). The Second Seminole War ends, forcing the Seminoles from Florida (1842). France becomes the first country to introduce motor vehicle registration (1893). The Summer Olympics in Antwerp, Belgium raises the then-new Olympic flag for the first time ever (1920). Franklin D. Roosevelt signs the Social Security Act (1935). Pakistan gains independence from Britain (1947). Founding of the American Football League (1959). Bahrain declares independence from Britain (1971). Lech Wałęsa leads strikes at the Gdańsk, Poland shipyards (1980). Big power blackout in the NE USA and Canada (2003). Egypt declares a state of emergency as security forces kill hundreds of demonstrators supporting former president Mohamed Morsi (2013). Former U.S. President Donald Trump is charged in Georgia along with 18 others in attempting to overturn the results of the 2020 election in that state, his fourth indictment of 2023 (2023).
• August 14 is the birthday of Grand Duke of Tuscany Cosimo III de' Medici (1642), dentist/gunfighter Doc Holliday (1851), architect Amaza Lee Meredith (1895), businessman Wellington Mara (1916), MLB manager Earl Weaver (1930), singer-songwriter David Crosby (1941), actor/comedian Steve Martin (1945), cartoonist Gary Larson (1950), film composer David Horner (1953), actress Jackée Harry (1956), actress Marcia Gay Harden (1959), NBA player Magic Johnson (1959), singer Sarah Brightman (1960), actress Halle Berry (1966), NFL player and coach Mike Vrabel (1975), actress Mila Kunis (1983), and NFL player Tim Tebow (1987).

I’m going to get some Advil in me and then get to work. I’ll repeat an old adage: you can’t get old without getting tough. And when the going gets tough, the tough take ibuprofen. Anyway, wish me luck. Enjoy your day.