Random News: August 16, 2025

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s August 16, 2025, and it’s a Saturday. I"m a guy in a bathrobe of blue, drinking coffee and delivering news to you. Weekends are a beautiful thing.

• Let’s jump in with the big story of the day: two assholes met in Alaska.
• What happened in the 2-1/2 hour meeting between Donnie Dump and Russia’s Vladimir Putin? Apparently nothing. In fact, in some ways, it was less than nothing.
• Dump rolled out a literal red carpet for Putin, making the murderous oligarch feel welcome and loved. And he still left empty-handed and defeated.
• Today, Dump said that he’s dropping his demand for a ceasefire between Russia and Ukraine. Without offering any reason why or how, he says that the two countries should go straight to agreeing on a final peace deal.
• And for those of you who don’t understand what that means, it’s that Donnie is agreeing with Putin’s demand to permanently annex huge parts of Ukraine, likely where Russia can steal mineral and oil wealth.
• Putin won. Dump lost. End of story.
• It would be as if Canada and China had agreed on their own for China to take Texas away from the USA. That’s not how shit works, no matter what Dump thinks.
• Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky, with the backing of European leaders, has insisted that a ceasefire must be in place before any negotiations to end the war.
• Obviously. And yet, neither he nor any of the European countries affected by Russia’s aggressive actions were part of the talks.
• Zelensky said today that he would be traveling to Washington to discuss the summit with Dump.
• In any case, Dump and Putin offered no details on what they agreed (which is likely nothing), and then left without answering questions.
• In fact, Dump ended his remarks at the news conference by telling Putin, “I’d like to thank you very much, and we’ll speak to you very soon and probably see you again very soon.”
• To which Putin quickly chipped back: “Next time, in Moscow.”
• Snort. Of course Dump will capitulate to meeting Putin on his own turf. Putin has long known how weak Dumpy is.
• But wait. One more note from this fucking D-list clown show that is the Dump administration.
• Documents with sensitive details about the meeting between Dump and Putin were left behind on a public hotel printer.
• Yup!
• Can you imagine what Fox News would be saying about Obama or Biden if they’d committed such a massive national security gaffe?
• The eight pages that were produced by U.S. staff and left behind accidentally shared precise locations and meeting times of the summit and phone numbers of U.S. government employees. There was also info advising Dump how to pronounce certain things (like "Mr. President POO-tihn”).
• The pages also included many details about the summit plan, including the seating chart and menu for the luncheon that never happened.
• They were just sitting there in a fucking printer tray, and found by a guest of the Hotel Captain Cook in Anchorage.
• Anyway, nothing else is worth taking about in regard to that shit. Except that now that it’s over, we can get back to talking about the Epstein files. Let’s move on.
• Start getting ready for Hurricane Erin.
• The storm is rapidly intensifying as it tracks above the northeastern Caribbean today. Erin has become a Category 5 hurricane with sustained winds near 160 mph. The storm’s winds more than doubled in speed in 24 hours.
• Why? Because mankind-assisted climate change has caused our oceans to grow to hotter temperature than ever recorded, and that drives stronger and stronger storms.
• By the middle of next week, Erin is forecast to at least double or triple in size, which will result in rough ocean conditions over the western Atlantic.
• Will it directly impact the USA? Probably not, thankfully. Erin’s trajectory currently has it moving north and then away from the U.S> coastline.
• However, the storm is expected to produce life-threatening surf and rip currents along the beaches of the Bahamas, much of the US East Coast, and Atlantic Canada next week.
• Stay safe, friends.
• Let’s move on.
• Yesterday, Democrats in California's state legislature have released a proposal for a new congressional map that could give their party up to five new seats.
• It’s a major step forward for Governor Gavin Newsom's redistricting plans and the escalating race between the two major parties as they seek to pick up additional U.S. House seats in next year's midterm elections.
• As I mentioned previously, my state will have a special election on November 4. California voters (like me) will decide whether to adopt the new districts. That election will bypass the state's independent redistricting commission.
• As you know by now, California is redrawing its congressional map in response to Republicans in Texas redrawing their own lines to grab up to five more GOP seats. Texas is doing this at the order of Dumpy.
• California lawmakers plan to vote on the proposed map this coming Thursday, August 21. If approved, the new California districts would apply for 2026, 2028, and 2030 elections, and the Citizens Redistricting Commission would then regain redistricting authority after the 2030 census.
• Would I normally be opposed to such blatant gerrymandering tactics? Absolutely. Do I agree with Newsom that we have no choice than to fight fire with fire? 100% yes.
• And “100% yes” is how I’ll be voting in the November election that will flip the House blue. You’re all welcome. Relevant side note: at least California is doing this in a democratic process, allowing the state’s voters to decide.
• The Texas redistricting plan will not be sent to voters. They just have to accept whatever their big government tells them to do. What the fuck happened to you, Texas? When did the strong people of your great state become sniveling little ass-kissers?
• When did Republicans start bowing to big government? When did you Second Amendment, NRA-type people start letting yourself get trampled by tyranny?
• Is the GOP’s new motto “Please tread on me?” Seriously, why are you Republicans such fucking pussies?
• Moving on.
• Actually, a side note.
• A lot of the attention on California’s redistricting has been the result of a series of absolutely hilarious (and perfectly rendered) social posts mimicking the vomit-inducing style of Donnie Dump.
• While Newsom came up with the plan, much of the credit for the posts goes to his social team, a small group of 20-something young women led by Camille Zapata.
• Zapata is 29 years old, so she knows most of her generation gets their news from TikTok and social media. She says that her team of three is “chronically online and follow pop culture,” and it shows.
• Well done. Moving on. 
• Some small good news (which is always welcome)…
• The Dump administration has rescinded an order replacing the District of Columbia's police chief after an emergency court hearing.
• Washington, D.C.’s police chief Pamela Smith will retain control of the force after the city sued over US Attorney General Pam Bondi naming the head of the DEA as the district's "emergency police commissioner".
• Fuck you, Pam.
• The lawsuit asked Judge Ana Reyes to void Bondi's order and stop the DEA head from taking any position of command in the force. After the hearing, the justice department agreed to remove the DEA head as the emergency police chief, filing a new order that made him an intermediary between the administration and police.
• A reminder: D.C. is all the way down at #25 in the list of violent crime rates in large U.S. cities. The entire justification for sending military troops into the nation’s capital was to fight crime.
• Why not start with cities like St. Louis, Memphis, and New Orleans, all of whom have far higher rates of murder, assault, robbery, rape, and other violent crime compared to D.C.? Oh, because those are in red states? Gotcha.
• In 2024, Washington hit its lowest crime level in 30 years, and rates are continuing to fall, preliminary data for 2025 suggests.
• We should always be trying to lower violent crime in every city. That’s why we have multiple levels of law enforcement agencies across the entire fucking country.
• There’s only one reason to use our nation’s military against its citizens, and it ain’t fighting crime.
• Let’s move on.
• A little more good news (we’ll take all we can get)…
• Yesterday, U.S. District Judge Dolly Gee ruled to deny the Dump administration’s request to end a policy in place for nearly three decades that is meant to protect immigrant children in federal custody.
• Can you imagine being this much of an evil asshole? Removing any protections for little kids in custody? That’s nightmare, horror movie-level shit.
• Judge Gee issued her ruling a week after holding a hearing with the federal government and legal advocates representing immigrant children in custody.
• And the assholes had the nerve to complain, saying that Dump’s Big Bullshit Bill gives the government authority to hold families in detention indefinitely. “But currently under the Flores Settlement Agreement, that’s essentially void,” said Tiberius Davis, one of the government attorneys.
• Too bad. Suck it, you child-hating scum.
• And now, The Weather: “S.T. Tilted” by Wombo
• From the Sports Desk… here’s every MLB pitcher with more than 150 strikeouts in the season thus far (starting with Zack Wheeler at the top with 195).
• 1. Zack Wheeler (PHI). 2. Tarik Skubal (DET). 3. Garrett Crochet (BOS). 4. Dylan Cease (SD). 5. Logan Webb (SF). 6. Paul Skenes (PIT). 7. MacKenzie Gore (WSH). 8. Carlos Rodon (NYY). 9. Hunter Brown (HOU). 10. Jesus Luzardo (PHI). 11. Cristopher Sanchez (PHI). 12. Jack Flaherty (DET). 13. Joe Ryan (MIN). 14. Robbie Ray (SF). 15. Framber Valdez (HOU).
• Today in history… Wang Mang is declared marshal of state of China (1 BC). The House of Gonzaga begins its rule over the Duchy of Mantua in Northern Italy and will rule for almost 400 years (1328). General John Stark leads the Americans in a rout over British and Brunswick troops at the Battle of Bennington (1777). President John Tyler vetoes a bill to re-establish of the Second Bank of the United States, and Whig Party members lose their shit and riot outside the White House (1841). Gold is discovered near the Klondike River in Canada, setting off the Klondike Gold Rush (1896). Tōhoku Imperial University of Japan starts admitting female students (1913). The first color sound cartoon is released (1930). Riots in Toronto pit Jewish and Italian people against local Nazis (1933). Mass riots involving Muslims and Hindus in Kolkata will over 4,000 people in three days (1946). The House Un-American Activities Committee begins investigations of Americans who have aided the Viet Cong (1966). The August Complex fire burns over one million acres of land in Northern California (2020).
• August 16 is the birthday of soldier/diplomat T. E. Lawrence (1888), cartoonist/animator Otto Messmer (1892), labor leader George Meany (1894), Israel prime minister Menachem Begin (1913), writer Charles Bukowski (1920), singer Eydie Gormé (1928), pianist/composer Bill Evans (1929), actor Robert Culp (1930), NFL player/sportscaster Frank Gifford (1930), actress Julie Newmar (1933), singer-songwriter/guitarist Kevin Ayers (1944), politician Carol Moseley Braun (1947), drummer Scott Asheton (1949), talk show host Kathie Lee Gifford (1953), singer-songwriter James “JT” Taylor (1953), director James Cameron (1954), singer-songwriter Madonna (1958), actor Timothy Hutton (1960), actor Steve Carell (1962), NHL player/coach Eddie Olczyk (1966), director Taika Waititi (1975), MLB player Yu Darvish (1986), and tennis player Jannik Sinner (2001).

Time to do the things, whatever they may be. Enjoy your day.