Random News: August 21, 2025

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s August 21, 2025, and it’s a Thursday for some reason. I slept like a rock and now here I am, refreshed and ready to deliver the news to you. It’s a good thing too, because there’s a whole lot of news, and we’ll have to see how much we can get in before I turn into a pumpkin at the stroke of 8am.

• Hmm, where to start? Okay…
• Yesterday, U.S. District Court Judge Richard Berman declined the federal government's request to unseal grand jury material in the case of late sex offender Jeffrey Epstein, saying prosecutors had failed to demonstrate that "special circumstances" warranted their disclosure.
• Hmm.
• Berman issued his ruling in a 14-page decision denying the government's motion to unseal the documents. He wrote that the grand jury material in question includes the testimony of just a single witness, an FBI agent "who had no direct knowledge of the facts of the case and whose testimony was mostly hearsay."
• He also noted that the Justice Department's files on Epstein dwarf those stemming from the grand jury. Proceedings before grand juries are typically kept secret.
• So he concluded — rightfully — that, "The Government is the logical party to make comprehensive disclosure to the public of the Epstein Files. By comparison, the instant grand jury motion appears to be a 'diversion' from the breadth and scope of the Epstein files in the Government's possession.”
• Driving the point home, Berman added, "The information contained in the Epstein grand jury transcripts pales in comparison to the Epstein investigation information and materials in the hands of the Department of Justice.”
• In other words, Pam Bondi and the DOJ do have the Epstein files, and they’re choosing to hold them back in order to protect certain people.
• Bondi claims that there is no evidence of a "client list" or indication that Epstein blackmailed prominent figures, an announcement that spurred more questions from skeptics.
• Republicans in Congress have pushed for more transparency since the Justice Department's review. The House Oversight Committee issued a subpoena to the department for documents related to Epstein earlier this month.
• That committee said on Tuesday that it expects to receive documents later this week, and intends to begin releasing them pending a review to redact victims' information.
• Guess we’ll see. Or, more likely, never, ever see.
• Let’s move on with a look at the burgeoning gerrymandering civil war.
• As expected, yesterday the Texas House of Representatives gave final passage to House Bill 4, a controversial Republican-backed proposal to purposefully cheat and redraw the state's congressional maps and potentially add up to five new GOP-leaning districts.
• Per our previous reports, the vote came after a dramatic standoff earlier this month, when Democratic lawmakers fled the state to break quorum and block action on the redistricting bill. Their absence stalled the Legislature and effectively ended the first special session, delaying the measure for two weeks.
• That delay turned out to be a very good thing, as we’ll note shortly.
• Texas’s Republican-dominated legislature passed the measures in the House to advance to the Senate. Each vote passed 88-52. They also rejected all amendments by state Democrats.
• Dumpy was so happy, he nearly forgot about Jeffrey Epstein for a moment.
• ”Big WIN for the Great State of Texas!!!,” wrote the Fat Orange Man. "Everything Passed, on our way to FIVE more Congressional seats and saving your Rights, your Freedoms, and your Country, itself. Texas never lets us down. Florida, Indiana, and others are looking to do the same thing."
• So Dumpy wants other states to get involved in partisan gerrymandering? Well shit motherfucker, why didn’t you just say so?
• The two week delay in Texas allowed the state with the biggest population and the most Congressional seats — my state of California — to prepare for a response.
• And that response is to fight fire with fire. Under normal circumstances, I’d never be in support of a blatant effort to tilt a state’s congressional districts in the favor of one party like Texas has done.
• But now, as a result of Dumpy ordering Texas to do this, California will be allowing our citizens to vote on whether or not our state should do the same thing.
• And we will. New polls show that 57% of all California voters are backing the redistricting measure, while will be on our ballots in a special election on November 4, while just 35% opposed and 8% were undecided.
• Democrats here in the Golden State are almost fully united in their support, with 84% in support and 13% opposed.
• Then last night, the California Supreme Court denied a petition from Republican state legislators requesting that the court mandate lawmakers wait 30 days before taking any action on legislation that could put new congressional maps in front of voters in November.
• The court wrote, ”The petition for writ of mandate and application for stay are denied. Petitioners have failed to meet their burden of establishing a basis for relief at this time under California Constitution article IV, section 8.”
• Ha ha, assholes. 
• We’ll see where all of this will end up, but I love the idea that a cheating plan that Dumpy himself came up with is what’s going to turn around and bite him on his giant ass.
• Moving on.
• Hurricane Erin, which is still driving winds of 105 mph, is making its closest approach to the United States today after 10 days of churning across the Atlantic.
• How big is this sucker? The storm’s huge cloud canopy extends from the Bahamas to southern New England, a distance of more than 1,000 miles.
• So despite being about 200 miles offshore, Erin is posing a serious threat to coastal communities up and down the Eastern Seaboard because of the sheer size of its tropical-storm-force wind field, extending 300 miles from its center.
• Be safe, my friends.
• Let’s move on with a whole new thing to keep an eye on: war against Venezuela.
• Yup. The United States is deploying three Aegis guided-missile destroyers to the waters off Venezuela, allegedly as part of Dump's effort to combat threats from Latin American drug cartels.
• The USS Gravely, the USS Jason Dunham, and the USS Sampson were to depart for the region over the next few days.
• Earlier this week, Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro announced the planned deployment of more than 4.5 million militia members around the country. The militias were created by then-President Hugo Chávez to incorporate volunteers who could assist the armed forces in the defense of external and domestic attacks.
• Can we just… not?
• And on more news from the War Desk…
• Today, a Russian missile slammed into an American electronics factory in a remote corner of far western Ukraine, causing extensive damage and more than a dozen injuries.
• The attack came as Russia carried out one of its largest airstrikes of the war, firing more than 570 drones and 40 missiles in an overnight barrage.

• This is a huge “fuck you” to Dump from Putin, obviously. He’s upset that Dump hosted the European leaders at the White House.
• Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy stated that the Russian military "delivered this strike as if nothing had changed at all. As if there were no efforts by the world to stop this war."
• That’s because Putin hit this American factory on purpose to tell Dump that all of the performative talks last week meant nothing to him. Putin is mad about being left out of that side of the talks. Imagine that.
• Moving on with some good news.
• Yesterday, U.S. District Court Judge Fred Biery temporarily blocked a new Texas state law that would have required public schools to display the Ten Commandments in every classroom.
• These assholes keep trying this shit, and keep failing. Thank God we have a Constitution created by the country’s forefathers who understood the many inherent dangers of intertwining church and state.
• The case in question was “Rabbi Nathan v. Alamo Heights Independent School District”, and Biery ruled that Texas Senate Bill 10, set to take effect September 1, likely violates both the Establishment and Free Exercise Clauses of the First Amendment.
• Duh.
• His ruling halts school districts from implementing the measure, which mandated a 16-by-20-inch poster or framed copy of a specific English version of the Ten Commandments in every classroom.
• Biery wrote that requiring the displays could amount to unconstitutional religious coercion, pressuring students into religious observance, and suppressing their own beliefs.
• Of note, the plaintiffs included Christian, Jewish, Hindu, Unitarian Universalist, and nonreligious families with children in Texas public schools. They were represented by the ACLU of Texas, Americans United for Separation of Church and State, the Freedom from Religion Foundation, and others.
• Heather L. Weaver, senior counsel for the ACLU's Program on Freedom of Religion and Belief, said the ruling protects inclusivity in schools. "Public schools are not Sunday schools," Weaver said.
• She’s right. Imagine an America where one religion was forced on children who are legally required to attend school — whether they and their families were practitioners of that religion or not.
• It’s disgusting, and I don’t care what religion you’d use as an example, from Buddhism to Islam to Christianity to Satanism. No religion belongs in public schools, period.
• Let’s move on.
• When we first heard about the use of U.S. military troops against the people of Democratic cities, we knew that there would be a variety of problems.
• Not the least of which is the lack of training for out military to take the roles of law enforcement.
• Yesterday morning, a National Guard military vehicle crashed into a car in Washington, D.C., injuring the driver. The incident comes after Dump ordered hundreds of Guard troops to the District as a part of his D.C. Safe and Beautiful Task Force.
• The Mine-Resistant Ambush Protected All-Terrain Vehicle (MATV) — a military vehicle that weighs up to 16 tons and is meant to withstand explosive attacks — collided with a civilian vehicle just after 6am in the Capitol Hill neighborhood.
• The person who was rescued from their vehicle suffered injuries and was taken to a hospital. A video shows a MATV feet away from a SUV at the scene of the crash — the intersection of 8th Street SE and North Carolina Avenue.
• Samuel Pastore, who serves as the neighborhood commissioner, lives nearby. "Our kids are getting back to school," he said. "Get these tanks out of our streets!"
• It’s only a matter of time before someone in Dump’s undertrained and illegal military occupation of our cities opens fire and kills innocent U.S. citizens, by accident or on purpose.
• It happened at Kent State University in 1970; it can happen again.
• And now, The Weather: “just the thing” by Retail Drugs
• RIP going out to Frank Caprio, who served as a judge for the Providence, RI Municipal Court for almost 40 years. He died yesterday at 88.
• Caprio found online fame as a caring jurist and host of the courtroom series “Caught in Providence.” He billed his courtroom as a place “where people and cases are met with kindness and compassion,” and was known for dismissing tickets or showing kindness even when he handed out justice.
• During his time on the bench, Caprio developed a persona at odds with many judges. He was more sympathetic and less confrontational and judgmental. The world would be a better place with more judges like him.
• Let’s do a chart.
• It’s 38 years ago, heading into late August 1987. Me? I’ve just spent a year doing fuck-all while allegedly attending SDSU, but my free ride is over, at least for now.
• I’ve just moved back home… except I don’t have a home. My parents have separated, and i’m in limbo for the moment, basically living on a couch at my mom’s apartment. I am doing labor work for the City of Rancho Palos Verdes, CA and not at all sure what’s coming next in my life.
• It all works out eventually, as evidenced by my being here and well. Here was the top of the Billboard 200 albums chart at the time.
• 1. Whitney (Whitney Houston). 2. Whitesnake (Whitesnake). 3. Bad Animals (Heart). 4. Bigger And Deffer (LL Cool J). 5. The Joshua Tree (U2). 6. In The Dark (Grateful Dead). 7. Girls, Girls, Girls (Motley Crue). 8. La Bamba (Soundtrack). 9. Duotones (Kenny G). 10. Beverly Hills Cop II (Soundtrack). 11. Solitude Standing (Suzanne Vega). 12. Slippery When Wet (Bon Jovi). 13. Who's That Girl (Soundtrack-Madonna). 14. Crushin' (Fat Boys). 15. I Never Said Goodbye (Sammy Hagar). 16. No Protection (Starship). 17. Look What The Cat Dragged In (Poison). 18. Let It Loose (Gloria Estefan & Miami Sound Machine). 19. Bangin' (The Outfield). 20. Spanish Fly (Lisa Lisa And Cult Jam).
• From the Sports Desk… just two weeks from tonight, on September 4, a real-ass actual NFL football game will be played and the football season will be back.
• Just for the proverbial shits and giggles — and because you might not know who’s playing for your preferred team — here is the current starting quarterback for each of the 32 NFL teams.
• Note: this is pretty well set, but subject to change over the next couple of weeks.
• AFC East: Bills (Josh Allen), Dolphins (Tua Tagovailoa), Patriots (Drake Maye), Jets (Justin Fields).
• AFC North: Ravens (Lamar Jackson), Bengals (Joe Burrow), Browns (Joe Flacco), Steelers (Aaron Rodgers).
• AFC South: Texans (C.J. Stroud), Colts (Daniel Jones), Jaguars (Trevor Lawrence), Titans (Cam Ward).
• AFC West: Broncos (Bo Nix), Chiefs (Patrick Mahomes), Raiders (Geno Smith), Chargers (Justin Herbert).
• NFC East: Cowboys (Dak Prescott), Giants (Russell Wilson), Eagles (Jalen Hurts), Commanders (Jayden Daniels).
• NFC North: Bears (Caleb Williams), Lions (Jared Goff), Packers (Jordan Love), Vikings (J.J. McCarthy).
• NFC South: Falcons (Michael Penix Jr.), Panthers (Bryce Young), Saints (Spencer Rattler), Buccaneers (Baker Mayfield).
• NFC West: Cardinals (Kyler Murray), Rams (Matthew Stafford), 49ers (Brock Purdy), Seahawks (Sam Arnold).
• Today in history… Pueblo Indians capture Santa Fe from the Spanish (1680). James Cook claims eastern Australia for Great Britain, naming it New South Wales (1770). Nat Turner leads a slave rebellion in Southampton County, VA (1831). An F5 tornado slams Rochester, MN, which leads to the creation of the Mayo Clinic (1883). A Louvre employee steals the Mona Lisa (1911). The Soviet Union does the first successful test of an intercontinental ballistic missile (1957). Eisenhower signs an EO and proclaims Hawaii as the 50th state (1959). Tiger Woods wins the PGA and becomes the first golfer since 1953 to win three majors in a calendar year (2000). A solar eclipse traverses the continental United States (2017).
• August 21 is the birthday of Philip II of France (1165), inventor William Murdoch (1754), pianist/bandleader Count Basie (1904), animator Fritz Freleng (1906), sportscaster Jack Buck (1924), actor Melvin Van Peebles (1932), NBA player Wilt Chamberlain (1936), singer-songwriter Kenny Rogers (1938), guitarist/composer James Burton (1939), singer-songwriter Jackie DeShannon (1941), singer-songwriter/guitarist Joe Strummer (1952), actress Kim Cattrall (1956), NFL player Jim McMahon (1959), animator Stephen Hillenburg (1961), actress Carrie-Anne Moss (1967), singer-songwriter Serj Tankian (1967), keyboardist/producer Liam Howlett (1971), businessman/computer scientist Sergey Brin (1973), actress Alicia Witt (1975), sprinter Usain Bolt (1986), singer-songwriter Kacey Musgraves (1988), actress Hayden Panettiere (1989), and NFL player Mike Evans (1993).

You’d be amazed at how much news I left out of this report, but then, I have faith that you’re capable of finding your own news wherever and however you do that sort of thing. Also, there will be more days and more things to talk about. There always are. Enjoy your day.