Thursday, May 2, 2024

Random News: May 2, 2024



DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.



Good morning. It’s May 2, 2024, and it’s a Thursday for some reason. As has been the case on a daily basis, we have many things to talk about here and not enough time to do it justice, so let’s get past the silly preamble and jump right in.


  • Yesterday, Arizona lawmakers repealed the draconian abortion ban from 1864 that was recently declared valid by their state Supreme Court. The law in question is extraordinarily severe, outlawing all abortions with no exceptions for rape or incest.
  • When the state law was put in place, Abraham Lincoln was president, slavery was legal, and women wouldn’t be allowed to vote for almost another 50 years.
  • And Arizona wasn’t a state; it was still a US territory at the time.
  • Despite all that, the repeal barely made it through Arizona’s Republican-controlled State Senate, needing the support of all 14 Democratic senators as well as two Republicans.
  • Gov. Katie Hobbs, a Democrat, will sign it, after which abortion policy in the state will revert to a 2022 law that restricted the procedure after 15 weeks of pregnancy.
  • Sorry, while it’s better than the 1864 law, it’s still not good enough. After a massive signature drive, Arizona voters will have the chance this November to enshrine women’s reproductive rights in their state’s constitution.
  • Let’s move on.
  • I probably don’t have to mention the continued spate of civil unrest via pro-Palestine demonstrations at colleges across the country.
  • It’s probably being covered as a top news item on your TV. I don’t watch TV, so I’m just guessing here.
  • My big headlines seem to be centered on UCLA, where late last night, police removed barricades and began dismantling the fortified encampment of pro-Palestinian demonstrators.
  • Hundreds of protesters defied orders to leave, some of them forming human chains as police fired flash-bangs to break up the crowds. Some people were detained, their hands bound with zip ties.
  • Hundreds of college campuses have had varying levels of protest actions over the past couple of weeks. I’m hoping that a cease-fire in the Israel-Hamas war will ensue and the campuses can become more peaceful.
  • We’ll see.
  • And in related news, the House voted yesterday to pass the bipartisan Antisemitism Awareness Act. The vote tally was 320 to 91, with 70 Democrats and 21 Republicans voting against the bill.
  • Supporters of the legislation say it will help combat antisemitism on college campuses, but some opponents say it overreaches and threatens to chill free speech, while others just don’t seem to like Jews very much.
  • I’m looking at you, Marjorie Taylor Greene, who voted against it and made a truly bizarre statement about the proposed law not allowing her to discuss how the Jews killed Jesus.
  • What the actual fuck?
  • The bill mandates that when the Department of Education enforces federal anti-discrimination laws it uses a definition of antisemitism put forward by the International Holocaust Remembrance Alliance. The bill would next need to be taken up by the Senate.
  • The American Civil Liberties Union has called on lawmakers to oppose the bill, saying quite correctly that federal law already prohibits antisemitic discrimination and harassment by federally funded entities.
  • This bill is essentially showboating for its sponsors. This happens pretty often, when they try and enact laws that already exist. Pretty weird, frankly.
  • Moving on to follow-up on a topic I mentioned recently.
  • When noted conspiracy theorist and anti-vaccine candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr. began his long shot independent presidential campaign, the Republicans seemed to think his voting base would eat into that of President Biden.
  • Think again.
  • RFK Jr.’s increasingly frequent appearances on conservative media platforms are beginning to raise alarms at Mar-a-Lago, and he’s now being more correctly perceived as a threat to Dump.
  • In recent months, Kennedy has become a regular on Fox News and Newsmax, and he is now a staple on the conservative podcast circuit — being interviewed by the likes of Ben Shapiro, Glenn Beck and Megyn Kelly.
  • A Monmouth University poll this week asked people whether they were aware that Kennedy continues to claim that autism is linked to vaccines, and that he has floated a theory that COVID-19 was targeted at certain races (neither beliefs being remotely true).
  • The responses were pretty even; about half of Republicans said they were aware of this, and about 6 in 10 Democrats said they were.
  • After mentioning his vaccine outlook, the pollsters asked respondents if they would still consider voting for RFK. The percentage of Republicans who said they would rose by eight percentage points, nearly doubling to just shy of 1 in 5. But the percentage of Democrats who said they would still consider Kennedy dropped by seven points to 1 in 10.
  • Sounds like a problem for Dumpy, not Joe.
  • Let’s move on to some good news.
  • Yesterday, the United Methodist Church repealed their longstanding ban on LGBTQ clergy, removing a rule forbidding “self-avowed practicing homosexuals” from being ordained or appointed as ministers.
  • The delegates voted 692-51 at their General Conference — the first such legislative gathering in five years. In previous gatherings, the church had steadily reinforced the ban and related penalties amid debate and protests.
  • What changed? The same thing that’s changing the rest of the world — many of the conservatives who had previously upheld the ban have left the denomination in recent years, and the church has moved in a solidly progressive direction.
  • Well done.
  • Let’s move on to a terrible story.
  • Police in Austin, TX responded to an "outbreak" of over 50 opioid-related overdose calls between Monday and Tuesday morning that's been linked to as many as eight deaths.
  • Their EMS usually receives an average of 2 to 3 calls a day. The overdose patients range in age from their 20s to 50s.
  • It’s obvious that some sick fuck put out a deadly batch of the illicit narcotics. I know that some of the people reading this news report are addicted to opioids. Statistically, with over 3,000 followers here on FB, it’s probably dozens of you, if not more.
  • Please be careful… and please try to get help. Opioid addiction — via street drugs or from prescription meds — is horrifying.
  • Moving on.
  • I almost don’t want to mention Rudy Giuliani for any reason, but this is rich.
  • As you know, in December 2023, a jury awarded $148 million in damages to two former Georgia election workers who sued Giuliani for defamation over lies he spread about them in 2020 that upended their lives with racist threats and harassment.
  • He filed for bankruptcy after a federal court ordered him to immediately pay former Georgia election workers Ruby Freeman and Shaye Moss
  • Rudy said last Friday that he has a net income of $2,308 per month, but according to recent filings, Giuliani has a combined monthly income of just over $46,000 from various sources.
  • At the same time, Giuliani claims monthly expenses of (drum roll please)… $43,797.
  • Can you imagine trying to get sympathy while claiming that you need over $40,000 per month to survive?
  • Fuck that fucking guy.
  • And now, The Weather: “Dark in the Hollow” by Finnish Postcard
  • Rest in peace to Duane Eddy, the world’s original guitar hero. He died Tuesday at age 86.
  • Duane’s twangy guitar sound inspired thousands of musicians to pick up the guitar. He also had some great instruments hit in the late ‘50s and early ‘60s, including the theme to TV series “Peter Gunn” and the rock tune “Rebel Rouser” that’s been used in like 50 movies.
  • In all, he notched 16 top-40 singles. More importantly, he influenced nearly every kid of that era, and the list of guitarists who cite Eddy as one of the reasons they play guitar include George Harrison, Dave Davies, Hank Marvin, Bruce Springsteen, Adrian Belew, Mark Knopfler, and many more.
  • Another great musician passed away. RIP to Richard Tandy, the keyboardist and a founding member of progressive pop band Electric Light Orchestra, aka ELO. He was 76.
  • Tandy was an essential part of ELO’s sound, and made his biggest contributions to the band during their most successful time frame in the mid-70s to early ‘80s.
  • From the Sports Desk… the current top teams in each division in Major League Baseball.
  • AL East: Baltimore Orioles (19-11).
  • AL Central: Cleveland Guardians (20-10).
  • AL West: Seattle Mariners (17-14).
  • NL East: Atlanta Braves (20-9).
  • NL Central: Milwaukee Brewers (19-11).
  • NL West: Los Angeles Dodgers (20-13).
  • Today in history… Anne Boleyn, Queen of England, is arrested and imprisoned on charges of adultery, incest, treason, and witchcraft (1536). The King James Version of the Bible is published for the first time in London, England, by printer Robert Barker (1611). King Charles II of England grants a permanent charter to the Hudson's Bay Company to open up the fur trade in North America (1670). Cree and Assiniboine warriors win the Battle of Cut Knife, their largest victory over Canadian forces during the North-West Rebellion (1885). The Soviet Union announces the fall of Berlin (1945). A De Havilland Comet makes the first jetliner flight with fare-paying passengers, from London to Johannesburg (1952). The British ocean liner Queen Elizabeth 2 departs on her maiden voyage to New York City (1969). The British nuclear submarine HMS Conqueror sinks the Argentine cruiser ARA General Belgrano in the Falklands War (1982). President Bill Clinton announces that accurate GPS access would no longer be restricted to the United States military (2000). Osama bin Laden, the suspected mastermind behind the September 11 attacks and the FBI's most wanted man, is killed by the United States special forces in Abbottabad, Pakistan (2011). A pastel version of The Scream, by Norwegian painter Edvard Munch, sells for $120 million in a New York City auction, setting a new world record for a work of art at auction (2012).
  • May 2 is the birthday of composer Alessandro Scarlatti (1660), Russian empress Catherine the Great (1729), gossip columnist Hedda Hopper (1885), fighter pilot Manfred von Richthofen (1892), actress Norma Talmadge (1894), playwright/lyricist Lorenz Hart (1895), pediatrician Benjamin Spock (1903), singer-songwriter/actor Theodore Bikel (1924), singer-songwriter/guitarist Link Wray (1929), singer Engelbert Humperdinck (1936), actor Lorenzo Music (1937), singer-songwriter Lesley Gore (1946), singer-songwriter Lou Gramm (1950), fashion designer Donatella Versace (1955), soccer player David Beckham (1975), race car driver Kyle Busch (1985), NFL player Pat McAfee (1987), NBA player Paul George (1990), and British royal Princess Charlotte of Wales (2015).


“May you live in interesting times” is an ancient curse. If you want someone to be happy, you want things steady, reliable, predictable, and yes, boring. A smart person can always create their own excitement without the world going fucking psycho. Just a thought. Enjoy your day.

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