Random News: April 3, 2025

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

---

Good morning. It’s April 3, 2025, and it’s a Thursday for some reason. Feeling pretty good as I start my day. Hopefully that feeling lasts as I delve into the latest news with all of you. There’s a lot, so buckle up.

• Again, another reminder that this Saturday is the nationwide “Hands Off!” day of action.
• I cannot recommend highly enough, for those of you who’ve been frustrated in finding ways you can take a personal role in defeating the evil around us… this is the way.
• If you haven’t been involved in public action before, now is the time.
• Last night, I attended an online training in regard to the event, specifically on the topic of de-escalation. The folks organizing Hand Off have a top priority of emphasizing non-violence.
• They want a peaceful environment that is welcoming to all who want to participate. Having done plenty of street protests before, I can tell you that while there are occasionally hecklers or counterprotestors, the huge majority of people there — both participants and passers by — are supportive.
• As an experienced protester, most of the info they gave last night was already familiar to me, but they did let one tidbit out.
• As of yesterday, over a half million people have RSVP’ed for the events, which are being held in all 50 states in many locations.
• And that number might grow if you help spread the word. Again, I’ll have a link in the comments.
• Let’s do the news.
• Per a bombshell report that Politico released yesterday, the romance between Dumpy and Elon Musk is coming to an end… something we predicted with not much difficulty long ago.
• Dumpy has told his inner circle, including members of his Cabinet, that Elon will be stepping back in the coming weeks from his current role as governing partner.
• According to the report, both men have decided in recent days that it will soon be time for Musk to return to his businesses and take on a supporting role.
• Anyone with half a brain can see why, on multiple fronts.
• From Elon’s perspective, his attempts to be a world influencer have gone horribly wrong. His car company has taken historic losses, with Tesla stock having dropped more than 5% over the past month, and nosedived more than 31% year to date. Shares also shed 36% in the first quarter, marking their biggest quarterly drop since 2022.
• Ironically, by shielding himself in a far-right echo chamber of his social media platform, Elon likely thought he’d be welcomed as a hero and his businesses would thrive as a result.
• Nope.
• But it’s really Dumpy’s perspective that tells the full story.
• Elon has become a political liability to Dump, something that was tangibly illustrated on Tuesday when a conservative judge Musk vocally supported lost his bid for a Wisconsin Supreme Court seat by 10 points.
• Meanwhile, Elmo has become a rallying point for Democrats and other liberals who are fighting against an unelected foreign-born person having a massive role in determining the future of the USA.
• And let’s be real here: Dump is probably super mad that so much attention has been given to Musk… including the concept that Musk actually wields more power than Dumpy himself.
• Donnie’s ego isn’t strong enough to handle that kind of situation.
• Think about how apoplectically angry Dump was yesterday morning when, instead of talking about his laughable “Liberation Day” of tariffs going into effect, all the headlines were about Musk having wasted millions on an election only to lose by a wide margin.
• And think about how this coming Saturday, there’s a nationwide protest against the actions that Musk has spearheaded, and brought Dump along for the ride. Now Dump has to deal with the aftereffects.
• And oh, there will be aftereffects. In fact, I find the timing of this news “leak” to be very suspect, as if they’re trying to get ahead of the “Hands Off” movement and let some of the wind out of its sails.
• The transition, which will see Elmo relinquish his position at DOGE, is likely to correspond to the end of his time as a “special government employee,” a special status that temporarily exempts him from some ethics and conflict-of-interest rules.
• That 130-day period is expected to expire in late May or early June.
• But before you get all happy, put on your logic hat for a moment. Musk has given Dump millions upon millions of dollars, and he’ll demand a return on his investment.
• So you can count on the idea that Elmo will retain a supposedly informal role as an adviser and continue to force Dump to enact his plans. It just won’t be done as blatantly and in public.
• The funny thing: moments after this news broke yesterday, Tesla shares rebounded strongly. Literally no one wants him in that role.
• We’ll obviously be following up on this story as it progresses.
• Moving on.
• Yesterday was Dumpy’s promised "Liberation Day,” which apparently means he’s going to liberate your money from your bank accounts.
• Clown Boy announced a 10% tariff on all countries, and additional reciprocal tariffs on what he calls the "worst offenders,” meaning those who don’t allow him to bribe them.
• The baseline 10% tariff goes into effect on April 5. The larger reciprocal tariffs go into effect on April 9. 
• Side note: Fat Orange Babyman pushed back the announcement until after the stock markets had closed yesterday afternoon to try and delay the inevitable effect.
• First and foremost, I’ll reiterate that tariffs are simply taxes. You are going to pay a lot more for things that you buy quite often.
• The most immediately noticeable product category that will skyrocket: tech items.
• That 34% reciprocal tariff on China will hit where tech companies — including many American businesses like Apple and other tech players — manufacture their products.
• But it’s not just China. The U.S. is also hiking import duties on other nations with major tech production hubs. Imports from Taiwan, a key manufacturer of semiconductors, will be taxed at a rate of 32%; South Korea, 25%; Japan, 24%; and the European Union, 20%.
• For some bizarre reason that makes absolutely no sense to me, Cambodia faces the highest reciprocal tariff, at 49%, followed by Laos at 48%, and Madagascar at 47%. 
• Shrug.
• Why should you care about those semiconductors? Because the cost of those chips represents a huge portion of the overall cost of many of the items they go into, which range from computers to cars to phones to appliances to toys to gaming systems to… pretty much every fucking thing you plug in or otherwise power up.
• So prices on all those items are going up, up, up.
• And remember to give all the credit for these new taxes to whom it belongs: Donald John Trump.
• The award for the funniest tariff? That’s the 10% against the Heard and McDonald Islands, a sub-Antarctic territory of Australia.
• They’re populated only by penguins.
• Meanwhile, financial markets around the world are reeling this morning as a result of Dumpy’s idiocy, and the U.S. stock market may be taking the worst of it.
• The S&P 500 was down 3.3% in early trading, worse than the drops for other major stock markets. The Dow Jones Industrial Average was down 1,204 points, or 2.9%, at last check, and the Nasdaq composite was 4.3% lower.
• Welcome to what history books will call Black Thursday.
• Real economists know all about the toxic mix of higher inflation and weakening economic growth that tariffs create.
• Stock values dropped for for everything from crude oil to Big Tech to small companies. Even gold, which has hit records recently as investors sought something safer to own, pulled lower.
• And the value of the U.S. dollar also slid against other currencies, including the euro and Canadian dollar.
• I hope you have no plans to retire in the next decade or so. It will take another couple of presidencies after Dump to pull us out of this horror show.
• But your IRA account or 401(k) is fucking screwed. Thanks Dump.
• Historical side note: you remember learning about the Boston Tea Party, the event that led directly to the American Revolution?
• Yeah, that was about tariffs. Just wanted to note that. Dumpy’s tariffs are the textbook definition of taxation without representation because they do not originate from Congress, as our laws require.
• You know who will back me up on that? How about Republican Senator Rand Paul?
• Yesterday, Paul said tariffs “are bad for the country, bad for prosperity, bad for the economy.”
• And then added, “Our Constitution was very specific that taxes — tariffs are a tax — taxes originate in the House, come to the Senate and then go the president. They don’t just go to the president and no one else. What kind of system would it be if all of our taxes and laws were passed by one person?”
• Correct.
• And that’s why yesterday, four Senate Republicans joined with Democrats to deliver a rare bipartisan rebuke to The Dumpster over trade policy.
• The Senate adopted a resolution by a vote of 51 to 48 aimed at blocking Dump’s proposed tariffs on Canadian imports. The four Republicans who voted with Democrats were Sens. Rand Paul (R-KY), Susan Collins (R-ME), Mitch McConnell (R-KY), and Lisa Murkowski (R-AK).
• It won’t change anything, but at least some of those GOP fucks chose to not screw over their constituents. Because damn, the shit is about to hit the fan for red state residents.
• Let’s move on.
• Yesterday, a miracle happened: Supreme Court Justice Samuel A. Alito Jr. authored an opinion that I support. Lordy.
• The Court ruled unanimously that the Food and Drug Administration properly rejected applications to market fruit- and dessert-flavored liquids for electronic cigarettes that the agency says are popular with young people and risk them getting hooked on nicotine.
• The FDA had appealed a lower-court decision, which determined the agency unfairly shifted its standards for approving e-cigarettes liquids while ruling on applications from two companies that wanted to sell new products.
• Alito wrote that the FDA rejection of the applications was sufficiently consistent with the guidance it had given companies seeking to win approval for such products. Alito also highlighted the potential dangers of flavored e-cigarettes.
• He’s right. A 2024 CDC survey found vapes were the most common tobacco product used by middle- and high-schoolers. About 1.6 million students use e-cigarettes, and nearly 90 percent of those who vape prefer the flavored liquids.
• Yesterday’s ruling was also a somewhat rare example of the high court siding with government regulators, after a string of decisions trimming agency powers.
• So, that was one of two SCOTUS rulings yesterday. The other had them siding with a former commercial truck driver who was fired after failing a drug test he said was caused by a “CBD-rich medicine.”
• This poor fucking guy Douglas Horn sued the manufacturers of a CBD product called “Dixie X” that companies proclaimed included no THC, the psychoactive ingredient in marijuana. Horn took the product to manage debilitating pain after a serious accident.
• And then got drug tested and failed and got fired.
• The Supreme Court’s decision will allow Horn’s case to move forward in lower courts. Justice Amy Coney Barrett wrote the opinion for a 5-4 majority that included herself along with Kagan, Sotomayor, Gorsuch, and Jackson.
• Thomas, Kavanaugh, Alito, and Roberts dissented.
• Horn sued under the Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations (RICO) Act, a 1970 law targeted at organized crime that also authorizes civil lawsuits — and allows plaintiffs to collect triple damages — for harm to their business or property.
• The question for the Supreme Court was whether Horn’s loss of employment qualified as a business harm. Obviously, the answer is yes.
• In other news…
• I believe some more business fuckery is afoot.
• Amazon has told the White House it is interested in buying TikTok ahead of a key deadline by which China-based ByteDance must either sell the popular social media app or face a ban in the U.S..
• The online retail giant has submitted a bid for the app. Amazon's bid comes after lawmakers last year passed a bill setting a January 19 deadline for the sale, which El Dumpo then extended for 75 days.
• He had set a deadline of this Saturday, April 5, for ByteDance to either sell its stake in the app or be forced to shut down in the U.S.
• Amazon — which was founded and is run by billionaire Jef Bezos, who also owns the Washington Post — made the offer in a letter addressed to JD Vance and Howard Lutnick. 
• And now you know why the Washington Post has banned any editorial that’s critical of Dump. Bezos was playing the long game to get TikTok for a sweet price after Dump forces the sale.
• And of course, Dump will get his share too. That’s how Dumpy does things.
• But wait!
• Apparently, there’s also the possibility of a new U.S. entity that would be created led by software giant Oracle. They want to, um, lease the app's algorithm.
• This is hilarious because ByteDance would likely still have operational control of the app. It’s really just all about the money, you know.
• Piece of shit people, all of them. I’ll laugh if ByteDance tells them all to fuck off, ban or otherwise.
• Let’s move on to a warning to always make sure you’re typing in the right window and choosing your recipients very carefully.
• A North Dakota mayor resigned yesterday after an investigation into a video he messaged to the city's top attorney in January.
• Minot Mayor Tom Ross texted City Attorney Stefanie Stalheim after they’d spoken on the phone about a tragic suicide.
• He then sent her a video… of himself masturbating.
• Whoops.
• Ross called Stalheim within minutes of sending the video, begging her to delete it without watching it and telling her it was intended for a girlfriend.
• Toooooooo late. Bye Tom. Look, everyone makes mistakes. But some mistakes mean you lose your job, and I think we all understand that’s just how it is.
• And now, The Weather: “Stay” by Sea Lemon
• From the Sports Desk… there are only about 5-6 games left in the NBA’s regular season. How’s the playoff race shaping up?
• Eastern Conference: Cavaliers (61-15), Celtics (56-20), Knicks (48-28), Pacers (45-31), Pistons (42-34), Bucks (41-34), Magic (37-20), Hawks (36-40), Heat (35-41), Bulls (34-42).
• Western Conference: Thunder (64-12_, Rockets (50-27), Lakers (46-29), Nuggets (47-30), Warriors (44-31), Timberwolves (44-32), Clippers (44-32), Grizzlies (44-32), Mavericks (38-39), Kings (36-40).
• Today in history… Robert Walpole becomes, in effect, the first Prime Minister of Great Britain (1721). The first successful United States Pony Express run from St. Joseph, MO, to Sacramento, CA, begins (1860). Union forces capture Richmond, VA, the capital of the Confederate States of America (1865). Gottlieb Daimler is granted a German patent for a light, high-speed, four-stroke engine (1885). The trial in the libel case brought by Oscar Wilde begins, eventually resulting in his imprisonment on charges of homosexuality (1895). Joseph Stalin becomes the first General Secretary of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union (1922). Japanese Lt. General Masaharu Homma is executed in the Philippines for leading the Bataan Death March (1946). U.S. President Harry S. Truman signs the Marshall Plan, authorizing $5 billion in aid for 16 countries (1948). The American Civil Liberties Union announces it will defend Allen Ginsberg's book Howl against obscenity charges (1955). Martin Cooper of Motorola makes the first handheld mobile phone call to Joel S. Engel of Bell Labs (1973). The Osborne 1, the first successful portable computer, is unveiled at the West Coast Computer Faire in San Francisco (1981). Suspected "Unabomber" Theodore Kaczynski is captured at his Montana cabin in the United States (1996). Microsoft is ruled to have violated United States antitrust law by keeping "an oppressive thumb" on its competitors (2000). Texas law enforcement cordons off the FLDS's YFZ Ranch, with 533 women and children taken into state custody (2008). Apple releases the first generation iPad, a tablet computer (2010). A 38-year-old gunwoman opens fire at YouTube Headquarters in San Bruno, California, injuring 3 people before committing suicide (2018). 
• April 3 is the birthday of Chinese emperor Xing Zong (1016), noblewoman Maria de' Medici (1540), physician/scientist William Watson (1715), writer Washington Irving (1783), social reformer Mary Carpenter (1807), actor Leslie Howard (1893), actor Iron Eyes Cody (1904), journalist Herb Caen (1916), singer/actress Doris Day (1922), actor Marlon Brando (1924), astronaut Gus Grissom (1926), German chancellor Helmut Kohl (1930), anthropologist Jane Goodall (1934), singer-songwriter Jan Berry (1941), actress Marsha Mason (1942), singer Wayne Newton (1942), singer-songwriter Richard Manuel (1943), singer Tony Orlando (1944), NFL player Lyle Alzado (1949), singer-songwriter/guitarist Richard Thompson (1949), actor Alec Baldwin (1958), actor/activist David Hyde Pierce (1959), actor/comedian Eddie Murphy (1961), skier Picabo Street (1971), NBA player Michael Olowokandi (1975), actress Amanda Bynes (1986), NFL player Kam Chancellor (1988), mass murderer Dylann Roof (1994), and actress/model/singer Paris Jackson (1998).

Every day is like living in a chapter of a history book that I’d rather not read. But here we are. I’m reminded of a passage from ‘Lord of the Rings,’ where Frodo says, “I wish it need not have happened in my time," and Gandalf replies, "So do I, and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” Yup. Enjoy your day.