Random News: April 4, 2025

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s April 4, 2025, and if you can believe it, it’s a Friday once again! Once again, here in the chaotic world that the current president is causing, we have a lot of news to bring to you. But you know what? Fuck him. We’re not going to let this prick bring us down.

• And instead we’re fighting back and making that miserable prick even more sad.
• That starts now.
• Tomorrow — Saturday April 5 — is the big day. A day that could change the course of history.
• It’s the day for "Hands Off!,” a nationwide anti-Dump, anti-Musk movement. It is expected to be the largest single-day protest since Dump entered office.
• We have been mobilized by the Dump administration's wide-reaching, horrific policies that impact a varied cross section of Americans affected by political, economic, social, and legal changes.
• At this point, more than 1,100 rallies, visibility events and meetings are scheduled in all 50 states. Over a half-million people may be participating directly. Perhaps even more.
• We’re rallying against a wide number of Dump administration policies, including its handling of Social Security benefits, layoffs across the federal workforce, attacks on consumer protections, anti-immigrant policies, attacks on transgender people and more.
• The Hands Off! demonstrations will occur at state capitals, federal buildings, local government facilities, congressional offices, and city centers.
• Dozens of advocacy organizations are partnering to support tomorrow's action, including the Center for LGBTQ Economic Advancement & Research, Declaration for American Democracy, the Human Rights Campaign, Indivisible, Mobilize, Planned Parenthood, and more.
• Listen.
• I know some of you are scared to take direct action, and I understand that. I know others would like to participate but have other important commitments, and that’s fine.
• I will say this. Every opportunity I’ve had to be there alongside like-minded people who are passionate about an important cause, it’s been a great and memorable experience. None of my actions of protest ended up being a negative experience overall.
• And also, may I add the First Amendment to the US Constitution goes like this…
• “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”
• If we don’t use our rights, we definitely lose them, guaranteed. So tomorrow, I’m peaceably assembling along with what will hopefully be hundreds of others in my area alone… and possibly over a half-million people across the USA.
• And we will make it clear that Dumpy and his boss Elon need to take their grubby little hands off our shit… and keep them off.
• Let’s do the news.
• U.S. companies had trillions of dollars in value wiped out yesterday after Dumples the Brainless Clown slapped sweeping tariffs on foreign imports.
• Yes, I said “trillions.” With a drop of 4.8% in the S&P 500 alone, more than $2 trillion in value vanished. It’s just gone.
• Virtually every sector suffered big losses as U.S. financial markets closed with their biggest one-day drop since COVID-19 flattened the global economy five years ago.
• Let’s get specific here.
• Airlines: United Airlines, down 15.6%. American Airlines, down 10.2%. Delta Air Lines, down 10.7%.
• Clothing/Shoes: Nike, down 14.4%. Under Armour, down 18.8%. Lululemon, down 9.6%. Ralph Lauren, down 16.3%. Levi Strauss, down 13.7%.
• Retailers: Amazon, down 9%. Target, down 10.9%. Best Buy, down 17.8%. Dollar Tree, down 13.3%. Kohl’s, down 22.8%.
• Tech Products: Apple, down 9.2%. HP, down 14.7%. Dell, down 19%. Nvidia, down 7.8%.
• Banks: Wells Fargo, down 9.1%. Bank of America, down 11.1%. JPMorgan Chase, down 7%.
• Restaurants: Starbucks, down 11.2%. Cracker Barrel, down 12.7%. Cheesecake Factory, down 9.4%.
• And all the credit for the tanking of the US and world economies goes to one very special idiot: Donnie Dump.
• That was just yesterday. Stocks continue to crater in trading so far this morning.
• And this morning, China said that it will impose an additional 34 percent tariff on U.S. goods, matching this week’s hike in levies targeting China by Dumpy that Beijing called “inconsistent with international trade rules.”
• That’s what caused the Dow Jones Industrial Average to again slump more than 2 percent, roughly 1,000 points, at the opening bell. The S&P 500 and tech-heavy Nasdaq also shed well over 2 percent.
• I am very fortunate that retirement is still a good ways off for me — a decade or more. If I was retiring right now… well, I’d be fucked.
• I’ve lost tens of thousands of dollars from my retirement fund this week alone, and I’m sure many people have lost much more.
• 100% the fault of Dumpy and his moronic lack of understanding of money.
• Let’s move on.
• The White House has fired multiple National Security Council staffers, including the head of both the National Security Agency and US Cyber Command.
• General Timothy Haugh, who also heads U.S. Cyber Command, was let go along with his civilian deputy at the NSA, Wendy Noble. It comes amid what appears to be a wider purge of top security officials at the agency and at the White House.
• Democrats have said they are "deeply disturbed" by the move and say it jeopardizes national security. Yes. Yes it does.
• Why now? Because Laura Loomer told Dump to do it, and he did.
• I’m serious. That far-right psycho went into the Oval Office on Wednesday, told Dump which people she’d decided were “disloyal” to him, and they were fired immediately.
• The other officials fired include Brian Walsh, a director for intelligence and a former top staffer for now-Secretary of State Marco Rubio on the Senate Intelligence Committee; Thomas Boodry, a senior director for legislative affairs who previously served as national security advisor Mike Waltz’s legislative director in Congress; and David Feith, a senior director overseeing technology and national security who served in the State Department during Dump’s first administration.
• Obviously, the NatSec people that should be fired include Mike Waltz himself, along with Tulsi Gabbard and Pete Hegseth.
• To that end…
• Yesterday, the Pentagon’s acting inspector general announced that he would review Hegseth’s use of the Signal messaging app to convey plans for a military strike against Houthi militants in Yemen.
• The review will also look at other defense officials’ use of the publicly available encrypted app, which is not able to handle classified material and is not part of the Defense Department’s secure communications network.
• As you’re well aware, Hegseth’s use of the app came to light when The Atlantic editor Jeffrey Goldberg was inadvertently added to a Signal text chain by Waltz. The chain included Hegseth, JD Vance, Marco Rubio, Gabbard and others, brought together to discuss March 15 military operations against the Iran-backed Houthis.
• “The objective of this evaluation is to determine the extent to which the Secretary of Defense and other DoD personnel complied with DoD policies and procedures for the use of a commercial messaging application for official business,” the acting inspector general, Steven Stebbins, said in a notification letter to Hegseth.
• Ha ha!
• I doubt anything will happen, and going by past actions, I’m sure eventually Dumpy will have the whole thing quashed. But I’m super glad it’s not being quietly swept under the rug for now.
• Moving on with a followup form a horrific story we mentioned this week.
• Lawyers for Kilmar Abrego Garcia, a Maryland man who was mistakenly deported to a notorious prison in El Salvador, will ask a federal judge today to order the Dump Administration to return him to the U.S.
• Despite the mistake, the White House already has argued against the idea in legal briefs. They say that U.S. courts lack jurisdiction over the matter because the Salvadoran national is no longer in the U.S.
• Abrego Garcia’s attorneys have countered there is no evidence he was ever in any gang. His mistaken deportation, described by the White House as an “administrative error,” has outraged many and raised concerns about expelling noncitizens who were granted legal permission to be in the U.S.
• The 29-year-old father of three had a permit from the Department of Homeland Security to legally work in the U.S., and he’s been serving as a sheet metal apprentice and was pursuing his journeyman license.
• BRING HIM BACK. NOW. Fucking pricks.
• And in directly related news…
• US District Judge James Boasberg said yesterday that he is looking at whether “probable cause” exists to hold Dump administration officials in contempt for violating his orders halting the use of the Alien Enemies Act to deport alleged Venezuelan gang members.
• The comments from Boasberg mark a significant escalation in a standoff between the administration and the chief judge of the trial-level court in Washington, DC, over deportation flights it allowed to continue last month despite his orders that the government turn the planes around immediately pending a legal challenge to Trump’s use of the sweeping wartime authority.
• Fuck them up, Boasberg.
• Moving on.
• The last few days have brought a parade of humiliation for the world’s richest and most awkward man, Elon Musk.
• He bet $20 million on the pro-Dump candidate for the Wisconsin Supreme Court and lost horribly.
• His car company Tesla reported its biggest sales drop ever, falling 13% in the first quarter, while its No. 1 rival grew revenue by 60% in the same time period. 
• And then the news leaked that he’s on his way out at DOGE. And all that happened in barely over a day.
• And now tomorrow, he’s a big portion of the focus of a nationwide protest.
• To put it into perspective, Musk has shed more than a quarter of his total personal net worth since January. Does that matter? No, he’s still by far the richest piece of shit on the planet.
• But I don’t think his slide downhill is nearly done. In fact, I think it’s just starting to pick up steam.
• His former customer base was primarily affluent coastal people, newly all of whom would never considering buying another of his vehicle after finding out what he stands for. But his newer fans are people from red states, mostly with lower incomes and who hate EVs and what they stand for.
• I think all he had to do was nothing, and instead he’s fucked himself forever.
• From the International Desk…
• South Korean President Yoon Suk Yeol was removed from office today when the country’s Constitutional Court unanimously upheld a parliamentary vote to impeach him over his effort to impose martial law.
• The court said Yoon had undermined the authority of the National Assembly and other democratic institutions, and had gravely violated his duties to the people and as commander in chief when he mobilized troops to try to seize political control of the legislature in December.
• Moon Hyung-bae of the Constitutional Court said, “He shocked the people and caused chaos in all areas including society, economy, politics, diplomacy. He violated his duty to unite the society as the president of all the people, beyond just his own supporters.”
• Gee, that sounds familiar. And they just removed his ass and sent him home. Hmm.
• In other news…
• From the “People You Knew Were Shitty Being Shitty” Desk, today British comedian and actor Russell Brand was formally charged with rape and other sexual offenses against four women.
• Brand, 50, has been charged with one count of rape, one count of indecent assault, one count of oral rape, and two counts of sexual assault.
• What a fucking asshole.
• There is no excuse for sexual assault. There is no justification. There is no situation where it’s excusable or understandable or forgivable.
• I’m going to add that rape is not sex. Rape is violence and control. Nothing more. And if they castrated Russell Brand or any other piece of shit who commits this act, I would not cry.
• And now, The Weather: “Silver” by Smelter
• Let’s do a chart.
• The date? 52 years ago in April 1973. This is the top of the Billboard 200 albums chart.
• 1. Lady Sings The Blues (Soundtrack) (Diana Ross). 2. Billion Dollar Babies (Alice Cooper). 3. Don't Shoot Me I'm Only The Piano Player (Elton John). 4. Prelude (Deodato). 5. The World Is A Ghetto (War). 6. The Dark Side Of The Moon (Pink Floyd). 7. Dueling Banjos (Eric Weissberg & Steve Mandell). 8. Shoot Out At The Fantasy Factory (Traffic). 9. Masterpiece (The Temptations). 10. Aloha From Hawaii Via Satellite (Elvis Presley). 11. No Secrets (Carly Simon). 12. Rocky Mountain High (John Denver). 13. The Best Of Bread (Bread). 14. Talking Book (Stevie Wonder). 15. Birds Of Fire (The Mahavishnu Orchestra). 16. Neither One Of Us (Gladys Knight And The Pips). 17. Space Oddity (David Bowie). 18. They Only Come Out At Night (Edgar Winter). 19. The Divine Miss M (Bette Midler). 20. Moving Waves (Focus).
• From the Sports Desk… tomorrow, after we’re done protesting and saving the world tomorrow, we can watch the NCAA Men’s Final Four games.
• 1-seed Auburn plays 1-seed Florida. Then, 1-seed Duke takes on 1-seed Houston.
• Florida and Duke are both slightly favored to win. I don’t care, but I’m sure someone does.
• Today in history… Francis Drake is knighted by Queen Elizabeth I for completing a circumnavigation of the world (1581). Georges Cuvier delivers the first paleontological lecture (1796). The United States Congress, affirming the Second Continental Congress, adopts the flag of the United States with 13 red and white stripes and one star for each state — 20 at that time (1818). William Henry Harrison dies of pneumonia, becoming the first President of the United States to die in office, and setting the record for the briefest administration (1841). Argonia, KS elects Susanna M. Salter as the first female mayor in the United States (1887). The Schutzstaffel (SS) is founded under Adolf Hitler's Nazi Party in Germany (1925). Soviet Red Army troops liberate Hungary from German occupation and occupy the country themselves (1945). Twelve nations sign the North Atlantic Treaty creating the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (1949). The CND peace symbol is displayed in public for the first time in London (1958). The Beatles occupy the top five positions on the Billboard Hot 100 pop chart (1964). Martin Luther King Jr. is assassinated by James Earl Ray at a motel in Memphis, TN (1968). The Twin Towers of the World Trade Center in New York City are officially dedicated (1973). Microsoft is founded as a partnership between Bill Gates and Paul Allen in Albuquerque, NM (1975). Space Shuttle Challenger makes its maiden voyage into space on STS-6 (1983). Finland becomes a member of NATO after Turkey accepts its membership request (2023). The impeachment of President Yoon Suk Yeol of South Korea is unanimously upheld by the country's Constitutional Court, ending his presidency (2025).
• April 4 is the birthday of guitarist/composer/priest Gaspar Sanz (1640), politician Thaddeus Stevens (1792), engineer/businessman Linus Yale Jr. (1821), architect Mary Colter (1869), Japanese admiral Isoroku Yamamoto (1884), MLB player Tris Speaker (1888), dancer Arthur Murray (1895), singer-songwriter Muddy Waters (1913), composer Elmer Bernstein (1922), poet Maya Angelou (1928), music producer Clive Davis (1932), trumpeter Hugh Masekela (1939), MLB player/manager Jim Fregosi (1942), actor Craig T. Nelson (1944), bass player Berry Oakley (1948), actress Christine Lahti (1950), singer-songwriter/guitarist Gary Moore (1952), actor Hugo Weaving (1960), talk show host Graham Norton (1963), actor/producer David Cross (1964), actor Robert Downey Jr. (1965), bass player Mike Starr (1966), magician David Blaine (1973), actor Heath Ledger (1979), comedian Eric Andre (1983), and actress Jamie Lynn Spears (1991).

So, at the risk of being repetitive again and again, PLEASE GO TO THE HANDS OFF PROTEST TOMORROW. You will be part of history. You will be making a difference. You will be saving yourself and your family and friends and loved ones. And you will feel good about it too. Enjoy your day.