DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.
Good morning. It’s March 31, 2025, and it’s a Monday. I’m up and about after a series of unsettling and bizarre dreams that seemed to last through the night. It’s like, my brain can do anything it wants while I’m asleep and it chooses to freak me out. How is that fair? Thanks a lot, stupid brain.
- A little note to start the week.
- In the 2024 election, 30.84% of registered voters voted for Harris, and 36.33% of them did not vote at all.
- That’s a total of 67.17% of voters who didn’t support Dumpy in the election. When you hear the MAGAs talk about a landslide, or are told that most Americans support Dumpy’s current actions, know there is not one tangible metric that says these statements are true.
- One more note before we jump to the news…
- In a topic I’ll be mentioning more this week, it’s time to get off my ass and take to the streets.
- I’ll be participating in a nationwide peaceful protest on Saturday April 5. It’s called Hands Off, a national day of action to stand up against those who believe they can take whatever they want — our democracy, our future, our rights.
- There are local events happening nearly everywhere, so take a look at the link in comments and see if there’s one near you. We’ll take to the streets with a clear message: Hands off!
- Then sign up and go. If you need help getting more info or are scared or have never done any public protests before, feel free to shoot me any questions or concerns.
- The events are being coordinated by a wide range of well-known protest organizations like Indivisible, MoveOn, Mobilize, and more.
- You will likely feel a million times better by getting personally involved in standing up to President Musk and his little sidekick Dumpy.
- That’s assuming we all don’t get our constitutional rights violated for exercising our right to assemble.
- Anyway, I’m doing it. And hopefully so will you. Link for info in the comments.
- Moving on.
- Dumples the Demented Clown spent time dreaming this past weekend about serving a third term.
- Yes, the Constitution says he can’t, but you know that guy would wipe his ass with our country’s most sacred document if it were handy.
- Is he just joking?
- Dumpy said yesterday that “I’m not joking” about trying to serve a third term, so no, he’s not. Believe them when they tell you the shitty things they’ll do.
- “There are methods which you could do it,” mused the lame-ass lame duck.
- Now would be a good time to point out the 22nd Amendment, which was added to the Constitution in 1951 after President Franklin D. Roosevelt was elected four times in a row. It says “no person shall be elected to the office of the President more than twice.”
- What is there’s a sneaky trick to doing it? Like, NBC’s Kristen Welker asked Dumpy if one potential avenue to a third term was having Vice President JD Vance run for the top job and “then pass the baton to you.”
- “Well, that’s one,” Trump responded.
- No it isn’t.
- The 12th Amendment, ratified in 1804, says “no person constitutionally ineligible to the office of President shall be eligible to that of Vice-President of the United States.” That clearly means that if Dump is not eligible to run for president again because of the 22nd Amendment, he is not eligible to run for vice president, either.
- Fucking dumbass.
- Regardless, any attempt to remain in office would be legally suspect at best, and would require extraordinary acquiescence by federal and state officials, not to mention the courts and voters themselves.
- Then Dumpy hilariously added that Americans would go along with a third term because of his popularity, falsely claiming to have “the highest poll numbers of any Republican for the last 100 years.”
- He’s not even close. George W. Bush reached a 90% approval rating after the attacks on Sept. 11, 2001. His father, President George H.W. Bush, hit 89% following the Gulf War in 1991.
- And Dumpy? He’s maxed out at 47%.
- Insane piece of shit.
- Let’s move on while continuing to illustrate the madness of the wannabe king.
- Over the weekend, Donnie “I Skipped Economics Class” Dump said he doesn’t care at all about the burden on American consumers if car prices spike because of his 25 percent tariffs on auto imports — which they’re about to.
- “I couldn’t care less. I hope [foreign automakers] raise their prices, because if they do, people are going to buy American-made cars. We have plenty,” he said.
- Problem? Dumpy says the tariffs “will be applied to imported passenger vehicles (sedans, SUVs, crossovers, minivans, cargo vans) and light trucks, as well as key automobile parts (engines, transmissions, powertrain parts, and electrical components), with processes to expand tariffs on additional parts if necessary.”
- So this will have a huge impact on cars made in the USA as well. Prices are going way up no matter where the country of origin is for a new vehicle, and sales will tank as a result.
- And tariffs — I’ll remind you — are just taxes on you, the American consumer. As they continue, it’s likely they will tip the country into a recession.
- And Dump literally got elected on a platform of bringing high prices and cost of living down on the first day of his presidency, but they remain stubbornly high, with potentially more economic pain in coming days as more tariffs take effect.
- Moving on.
- In previous years, the fact that today — Monday March 31 — is the international Transgender Day of Visibility (TDOV) was a top headline.
- I had to dig up the info today, because it’s not being covered as a main topic by any major media source.
- Transgender Day of Visibility honors transgender, nonbinary, and gender-expansive people while drawing attention to the high levels of poverty, discrimination, and violence the community faces globally.
- And of course, this year’s TDOV follows Dump’s recent executive orders that restrict the rights of transgender Americans — impacting their ability to serve in the military, participate in school sports, and obtain government documentation, including passports that reflect their gender identity.
- Instead of complaining about how things are today, instead let’s take a look at the achievements of trans people in recent years.
- In 2014, Laverne Cox in 2014 became the first transgender person to be nominated for an Emmy in an acting category.
- Elliot Page in 2021 became the first trans man to appear on the cover of Time magazine.
- In 2022, Michaela Jaé Rodriguez became the first trans woman to win a Golden Globe.
- And in November 2024, Rep. Sarah McBride (D-DE) was the first transgender person elected to Congress.
- Congratulations to these folks, who had to fight harder and against many more obstacles to achieve success in their respective fields than any cisgender person did.
- Let’s move over to the International Desk for some good news.
- French far-right figurehead Marine Le Pen has been banned from running for political office for five years after being found guilty of embezzling European Union funds.
- Le Pen was planning on becoming France’s president in 2027. Now? Not.
- A Paris court also handed Le Pen a four-year prison sentence with two years suspended, to be served under house arrest, and a $108,000 fine. She will file an appeal.
- Her far-right wing party, National Rally (RN), was ordered to pay €2 million in fines for the €4.1 million that it was accused of embezzling.
- As we say in the land of the free and the home of the brave, fais un peu chier et découvre, Marine.
- Let’s move on.
- Republicans are scared to death over something that, in normal times, wouldn’t even be even a low-level concern.
- They’re pulling out all the stops ahead of tomorrow's special election in Florida’s 6th Congressional District, as worries of a narrower-than-expected margin grow in the district that Dumpy won by more than 30 points in November.
- 30 fucking points! So surely this must be a very easy victory for the GOP candidate, right?
- They’re so scared that the Dumpster himself called into two tele-town halls for state Sen. Randy Fine (R) in an effort to drive out the Republican base ahead of Tuesday.
- President Musk’s America PAC spent roughly $10,200 in the race earlier this week and dropped another $66,000 into the race on Thursday.
- Why? Well, Democratic candidate Josh Weil has outraised Fine, while an internal poll from the Republican firm Fabrizio Ward showed Weil holding a 3 point lead over Fine.
- Let’s be clear: there’s no way Weil is actually winning this. But losing by any less than 20 points would be a huge alarm bell for the national Republican party.
- Dumpy acknowledged his concerns over the small House majority when he pulled Rep. Elise Stefanik’s (R-NY) nomination to be U.S. ambassador to the United Nations, writing that “we don’t want to take any chances.”
- Too late, fuckhead.
- So, that’s tomorrow, and you bet your ass we’ll be checking election returns as they come in.
- In other news…
- Today, the Supreme Court will consider whether nonprofits affiliated with the Catholic Church are eligible for tax exemptions in a case that has implications for other religiously connected organizations and the nation’s system for supporting laid-off workers.
- Interesting.
- Catholic Charities, which operates several social services nonprofits, is asking the justices to reverse a Wisconsin state court ruling that denied the group the tax exemptions that the Catholic Church and other religious institutions receive.
- The court’s decision will almost certainly reach beyond Wisconsin and affect how other states and the federal government apply similar exemptions, including for hundreds of thousands of health-care workers at Catholic-affiliated hospitals.
- The religious rights case is one of several before the justices this term testing whether the government must accommodate religion.
- What’s the issue? Well, because the nonprofit serves people of all faiths and does not proselytize, the Wisconsin Supreme Court concluded it is not “operated primarily for religious purposes” and therefore is not exempt from paying unemployment taxes.
- Seems about right.
- But Catholic Charities appealed to the Supreme Court, saying the First Amendment prevents the state government from meddling in church decisions about how to structure its service entities.
- Or maybe they just don’t want to pay into the unemployment system. And it’s a bigger deal than you’d think; at least 1.2 million workers are employed by at least 140,000 religiously affiliated employers.
- Moving back to that asshole who tries to run our country from a golf motel in Florida.
- Less than 24 hours after pretending to be mad at Vladimir Putin, Dumpy has now accused Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy of “trying to back out” of the minerals deal expected to be agreed between the two countries as early as this week.
- And then Dump threatened Ukraine and Zelenskyy, saying he would face “big problems” if he didn’t sign an agreement. But Ukraine has highlighted that the conditions of the deal changed significantly in recent days.
- You know what? Fuck Donald Trump. Fuck him and his imperialism and colonialism and fascism and assholism and racism and every other ism that pumps through his frail, elderly veins.
- One more story…
- The abrupt cancellation of government funding for programs to help food banks distribute healthy, local food is being felt across the country.
- There’s going to be a lot of hungry people out there in the coming weeks and months.
- Earlier this month, the U.S. Department of Agriculture said it was cutting more than $1 billion in funding for the Local Food for Schools Cooperative Agreement and the Local Food Purchase Assistance Cooperative Agreement programs for 2025.
- The money was designed to pay farmers to provide food to schools and food banks, giving a boost to local producers while giving fresh options to children and communities.
- Then, food banks were hit with another blow when they were informed that scheduled deliveries of food through the USDA's Emergency Food Assistance Program were being halted or cut back.
- If you are a person affected by poverty who still supports Donnie Dump, please ask yourself why… especially while you tell your kids there’s nothing to have for dinner tonight.
- Fucking disgusting.
- And now, The Weather: “In Too Deep” by Soft Porn
- From the Sports Desk… Men’s March Madness has a Final Four.
- Next Saturday, 1-seed Auburn will play 1-seed Florida, and 1-seed Duke will match. up with 1-seed Houston. So much for upsets.
- Back in the world of pro sports, we can’t tell you for sure who will be in the NBA and NHL playoffs.
- But we can tell you who won’t. Here are the teams who are already eliminated from playoff contention.
- NBA: Nets, 76ers, Hornets, Wizards, Pelicans, and Jazz.
- NHL: Kraken, Predators, Blackhawks, and Sharks. Oddly enough, not a single Eastern Conference team in the NHL is mathematically out yet with less than 10 games to go in the regular season.
- Today in history… Queen Isabella of Castile issues the Alhambra Decree, ordering her 150,000 Jewish and Muslim subjects to convert to Christianity or face expulsion (1492). Ferdinand Magellan and fifty of his men came ashore to present-day Limasawa to participate in the first Catholic mass in the Philippines (1521). The Long Parliament presents the Humble Petition and Advice offering Oliver Cromwell the British throne, which he eventually declines (1657). The Kingdom of Great Britain orders the port of Boston, Massachusetts closed pursuant to the Boston Port Act (1774). The Eiffel Tower is officially opened (1889). The Vienna Concert Society rioted during a performance of modernist music by Arnold Schoenberg, Alban Berg, Alexander von Zemlinsky, and Anton von Webern, causing a premature end to the concert due to violence (1913). Daylight saving time goes into effect in the United States for the first time (1918). The Motion Picture Production Code is instituted, imposing strict guidelines on the treatment of sex, crime, religion and violence in film, in the U.S., for the next thirty-eight years (1930). The Dominion of Newfoundland joins the Canadian Confederation and becomes the 10th Province of Canada (1949). Remington Rand delivers the first UNIVAC I computer to the United States Census Bureau (1951). The Soviet Union launches Luna 10 which later becomes the first space probe to enter orbit around the Moon (1966). Selena is murdered by her fan club president Yolanda Saldívar at a Days Inn in Corpus Christi, TX (1995). Netscape releases Mozilla source code under an open source license (1998). Start of the 2018 Armenian revolution (2018).
- March 31 is the birthday of mathematician/philosopher René Descartes (1596), composer Johann Sebastian Bach (1985), composer Joseph Haydn (1732), writer Mary Abigail Dodge (1833), businessman Alfred E. Hunt (1855), boxer Jack Johnson (1878), poet Octavio Paz (1914), labor union leader/activist Cesar Chavez (1927), NHL player Gordie Howe (1928), fashion designer Liz Claiborne (1929), actress Shirley Jones (1934), songwriter/producer Herb Alpert (1935), politician Barney Frank (1940), guitarist Hugh McCracken (1942), actor Christopher Walken (1943), guitarist/songwriter Mick Ralphs (1944), actor Gabe Kaplan (1945), US vice president Al Gore (1948), actress Rhea Perlman (1948), guitarist/songwriter Angus Young (1955), NBA player Steve Smith (1969), NHL player Pavel Bure (1971), actor Ewan McGregor (1971), and comedian/musician Kate Micucci (1980).
Whew, okay. That was a lot of news. Check in the comments below for a link to the Hands Off protest movement. More on that as the week progresses. Enjoy your day.
