Random News: March 26, 2025

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s March 26, 2025, and it’s a Wednesday. We probably have too much important news to talk about in the 56 minutes I have to report it, so I’ll skip the preamble. Wait, I’m preambling right now? Dammit.

• Signalgate is getting worse and worse for the Dump administration.
• Yesterday, defense secretary Pete Hegseth claimed that “nobody was texting war plans” in the messaging app group chat that was inadvertently sent to Jeffrey Goldberg, editor in chief of the Atlantic, hours before the attack on Yemen began.
• And Dumples the Untruthful Clown backed him up. “It wasn’t classified information,” whined the Orange Goblin. 
• But today, in response to the lies of the Dump and his department of defense, a new article was published by the magazine that shows it 100% was classified war plans.
• “There is a clear public interest in disclosing the sort of information that Trump advisers included in nonsecure communications channels, especially because senior administration figures are attempting to downplay the significance of the messages that were shared,” the magazine said.
• The magazine then reproduced numerous messages from the text chat. They included details of US bombings, drone launches, and targeting information of the assault, including descriptions of weather conditions.
• However, the magazine did not include specific details of the attack, saying it did not want to jeopardize national security.
• Want a sample of the texts sent with no consideration for security? Sure. I’ll give it to you right here and now.
• TEAM UPDATE:

TIME NOW (1144et): Weather is FAVORABLE. Just CONFIRMED w/ CENTCOM we are a GO for mission launch.
1215et: F-18s LAUNCH (1st strike package)
1345: "Trigger Based" F-18 1st Strike Window Starts (Target Terrorist is @ his Known Location so SHOULD BE ON TIME) - also, Strike Drones Launch (MQ-9s)
1410: More F-18s LAUNCH (2nd strike package)
1415: Strike Drones on Target (THIS IS WHEN THE FIRST BOMBS WILL DEFINITELY DROP, pending earlier "Trigger Based" targets)
1536: F-18 2nd Strike Starts - also, first sea-based Tomahawks launched.

• What the actual fucking fuck?
• So, that’s the exact times of warplane launches, strike packages, and targets — before the men and women flying those attacks against Yemen’s Houthis on behalf of the United States were airborne.
• It’s been pointed out that if an Army corporal sent these war plans to a reporter — accidentally or otherwise — they’d be spending decades in Leavenworth prison.
• But since it was done by the top people who run our country’s defense forces, all they want is to sweep it under the rug.
• Not so fast, buckaroos.
• This morning’s article was published just over an hour before a House intelligence committee hearing was set to begin. At yesterday’s hearing, both the director of national intelligence, Tulsi Gabbard, and the CIA director, John Ratcliffe, who were participants in the Signal chat, said the leak contained no classified information.
• Democrats and others who care about our country’s national security will no doubt use today’s hearing to demand an explanation of how operational attack plans are not classified information.
• The only other thing I’ll add for now…
• Federal judges are randomly assigned cases, but the roll of the dice for Signalgate is going to make every MAGA’s head melt down in a Chernobyl-level manner.
• The judge assigned to it? That would be James Boasberrg, who is already considered public enemy number one by the Dump world due to his blocking Dump’s illegal immigration scheme.
• Jesus. Anyway, the Signal fiasco is happening now at the House. A number of political leaders are publicly calling for the immediate resignation of Hegseth, Waltz, Gabbard, and anyone else whose ineptitude led us to this point.
• For the moment, let’s move on.
• Yesterday, Dumples the Unconstitutional Clown signed a far-reaching executive order that promises to fundamentally disrupt American voter registration processes.
• Fascist piece of shit.
• If enacted, Dumpy’s latest EO introduces measures so restrictive they could in effect disenfranchise millions of citizens.
• The sweeping order amends the federal voter registration form to require proof of citizenship in order to vote. It demands documentary proof for citizenship such as a passport to be eligible to vote in federal elections, empowers federal agencies to cut funding to states deemed non-compliant, and instructs the Department of Justice to prosecute what the White House paints as “election crimes”.
• Let’s be clear. This executive order is written as if a child who had no understanding of the election process had a fever dream.
• Taken literally, it would bar voter registration to almost everyone without a passport, which is over half the population of the USA.
• It doesn’t mention citizenship-proving items like birth certificates. And that REAL ID that you got recently? Yeah, that’s not enough either, because people with green cards get them too. 
• The measure also seeks to block states from accepting mail-in ballots after election day, regardless of when they are mailed in.
• So yes, we knew this dictator shit was coming. Before you get super worried… none of that is legal.
• Many — if not all — of the provisions in the order are likely to be quickly challenged and are almost certainly suspect from a constitutional standpoint.
• The US Constitution explicitly gives states and Congress the authority to set the rules for elections, and does not authorize the president to do so.
• So blow it out your fat ass, Donnie Boy.
• Let’s keep moving on.
• Got some breaking news from the Supreme Court… and it’s actually good.
• This morning, the SCOTUS upheld a Biden administration rule that regulates unserialized firearms called ghost guns, delivering a win for federal efforts to curb gun violence. 
• The high court ruled 7-2 in finding that the rule from the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives is not facially inconsistent with federal firearms law. Thomas and Alito dissented (shocking, I know).
• But Justice Neil Gorsuch authored the opinion for the majority.
• The case did not involve the Second Amendment, but whether the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives went too far when it issued the rule subjecting ghost guns to the same requirements as commercial firearms.
• In other news…
• Frank Bisignano is Dump’s nominee to run the Social Security Administration. Yesterday, he vowed to crack down on fraud and to protect Americans' personal data in a Senate confirmation hearing.
• Who is this asshole? The CEO of a financial technology company called Fiserv.
• There are open concerns that Bisignano supports privatizing Social Security, a federal agency that provides retirement, disability, and other benefits to more than 70 million Americans. 
• Who would benefit from privatizing Social Security? Well, first and foremost, private-sector players like Fiserv.
• During yesterday’s confirmation hearing, Bisignano said he hasn't thought about privatizing the agency.
• He was responding to Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse (D-RI) who pointed out that the Dump administration's aim is to discredit the system and then send in "tech bros and private equity folks" to "save" it.”
• In a letter to Bisignano, Sens. Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) and Ron Wyden (D-OR) — both members of the Senate panel that will consider his nomination — expressed concern about the ongoing cost-cutting efforts at the agency.
• The SSA has been targeted for major job cuts by President Musk's Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE), with thousands of jobs being slashed.
• I’ll mention — not that it matters — that in 2024, Dumpy promised not to touch the Social Security program, which provides monthly financial payments to roughly 1 in 5 Americans.
• I would have a plan together if you or any member of your family rely on Social Security. There’s no telling when Musk, Dump, and this new guy will be pulling the rug out from under your feet.
• Let’s keep rolling with more news, and a follow-up from yesterday.
• Manhattan-based U.S. District Judge Naomi Buchwald has ordered immigration authorities to halt, for now, their efforts to detain a Columbia University student who is being targeted for her involvement in pro-Palestinian protests.
• The temporary restraining order was issued at the request of lawyers for Yunseo Chung, 21, a Columbia junior who was born in Korea and holds a green card after coming to the U.S. as a 7-year-old child.
• Chung’s attorneys said they believe Secretary of State Marco Rubio ordered Chung’s green card revoked on grounds that her presence in the U.S. was undermining U.S. foreign policy.
• Rubio has issued similar findings in recent weeks that triggered deportation efforts against another Columbia student, Mahmoud Khalil, and a Georgetown researcher, Badar Suri.
• Both are currently in immigration custody in Louisiana, but have filed lawsuits demanding release. And all the suits contend that the detentions violate First Amendment free-speech rights.
• They do. These people are legal residents of the USA, and we have the right to peaceably protest. It’s right there in the U.S. Constitution.
• And I want to point out an important fact: none of the people detained and threatened with deportation are white.
• Despite that fact that white students, professors, and academics have also been heavily involved in pro-Palestinian protests, people of color have disproportionately faced sudden arrests and threats of deportation or had their visas revoked.
• Imagine that.
• Got some more good news for ya’.
• A Democrat won a state senate seat in a Pennsylvania district that overwhelmingly voted for Dumpy, offering a ray of hope for the party.
• James Malone triumphed yesterday in the 36th senatorial district, which voted for Dump over Kamala Harris by more than 15 points in last November’s presidential election, in a victory that Democratic party leadership said “should put Republicans on edge”.
• Let’s fucking go!
• Moving on.
• A sad note from the Health Desk… and a word of warning.
• I really love coffee. I do. I love the taste, the mild boost, and the entire experience of it.
• You hear me mention it several times each week. But like anything else in life, good or bad, most things need to be done in moderation. I drink coffee in the morning and afternoon, and I never, ever add any other stimulant to my intake.
• That wasn’t the case for 28-year-old Katie Donnell, a teacher and avid health enthusiast from Florida, who would drink up to three energy drinks a day, every day, along with coffee — and would take a caffeine supplement before hitting the gym.
• In August 2021, Donnell was hanging out with friends when she suddenly collapsed. It was a heart attack from her excessive use of caffeine. She suffered brain damage, and died 10 days later while in a coma.
• It shouldn’t be news to you that caffeine can impact the heart. A typical cup of coffee has 95 milligrams of caffeine (so my habit is well within the safe zone that the Mayo Clinic lists at up to 400 mg per day.
• But some energy drinks can contain up to 200 milligrams of caffeine per can.
• All I’m saying is, whether it’s you or your kids or your friends… those energy drinks can and will kill you, or cause serious and irreparable damage to your body.
• Stop with that shit. Side note: on almost a 100% basis, the only thing I drink every day — other than coffee on the morning and afternoon — is water. No sodas, no sports drinks, no alcohol. Water.
• Side note 2: I also do things that I’m fully aware are very bad for me and will likely kill me eventually. I’m not a saint and am far from perfect.
• But unlike Ms. Donnell, I’ve also lived far past 28. Twice as far, to be specific, and hopefully have a good ways to go. Stay away from energy drinks and caffeine supplements.
• Another note from the Health Desk… this one a little more generalized.
• Can the USA afford to offer health care for all?
• As it turns out, the U.S. already spends far, far more per person each year in health care than any other developed country.
• United States: $1,001/person.
• Compared to the next highest countries… Switzerland ($392), Germany ($365), France ($346), Netherlands ($268), Canada ($219), OECD Average ($191), Sweden ($114). United Kingdom ($104), and Italy ($80).
• As Bernie Sanders points out, “Our for-profit health care system is not only broken & cruel, it's extremely wasteful. While we spend billions on stock buybacks, CEO compensation & denying needed care, Medicare for All would save $650 billion & 68,000 lives a year per CBO & Yale University. Let's get it done.”
• And now, The Weather: “Over and Over” by Wishy
• Let’s… do a chart.
• It’s March 1969. I am a fetus. This is the top of the Billboard 200 albums chart that perhaps I listened to prenatally.
• 1. Wichita Lineman (Glen Campbell). 2. Goodbye (Cream). 3. The Beatles [White Album] (The Beatles). 4. Greatest Hits (The Association). 5. Ball (Iron Butterfly). 6. Yellow Submarine (The Beatles). 7. TCB (Diana Ross & The Supremes With The Temptations). 8. Crimson & Clover (Tommy James). 9. Blood, Sweat & Tears (Blood, Sweat & Tears). 10. Help Yourself (Tom Jones). 11. In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida (Iron Butterfly). 12. Led Zeppelin (Led Zeppelin). 13. Donovan's Greatest Hits (Donovan). 14. Bayou Country (Creedence Clearwater Revival). 15. Aretha Franklin: Soul '69 (Aretha Franklin). 16. The Second (Steppenwolf). 17. Bless Its Pointed Little Head (Jefferson Airplane). 18. The Live Adventures Of Mike Bloomfield And Al Kooper (Al Kooper). 19. Gentle On My Mind (Dean Martin). 20. Live At The Copa (The Temptations).
• From the Sports Desk… Russell Wilson has a job, which means that Aaron Rodgers probably will as well.
• Yesterday, the New York Giants signed Wilson to a one-year deal worth up to $21 million, including $10.5 million guaranteed.
• So it’s now looking more and more like Rodgers may have a spot with the Pittsburgh Steelers -- Wilson's former team -- assuming the quarterback decides he wants to play this season.
• And not do something like retire from the NFL and work for Fox Sports or join the Dumpy team, both in the realm of possibilities.
• Today in history… Saladin becomes the emir of Egypt (1169). William Caxton prints his translation of ‘Aesop's Fables’ (1484). Utrecht University is founded in the Netherlands (1636). A political cartoon in the Boston Gazette coins the term "gerrymander" to describe oddly shaped electoral districts designed to help incumbents win reelection (1812). The Vancouver Millionaires win the 1915 Stanley Cup Finals, the first championship played between the Pacific Coast Hockey Association and the National Hockey Association (1915). The Battle of Iwo Jima ends as the island is officially secured by American forces (1945). Ten thousand people gather for one of many Central Park be-ins in New York City (1967). East Pakistan declares its independence from Pakistan to form Bangladesh and the Bangladesh Liberation War begins (1971). Anwar al-Sadat, Menachem Begin and Jimmy Carter sign the Egypt–Israel peace treaty in Washington, D.C. (1979). Thirty-nine bodies are found in the Heaven's Gate mass suicides (1997). The Francis Scott Key Bridge collapses following a collision between the MV Dali container ship and one of the bridge's support pillars, killing 6 people (2024).
• March 26 is the birthday of socialist/visionary Edward Bellamy (1850), poet Robert Frost (1874), first president of South Korea Syngman Rhee (1875), socialist activist Kate Richards O’Hare (1876), engineer Othmar Ammann (1879), fashion designer Guccio Gucci (1881), mythologist Joseph Campbell (1904), playwright Tennessee Williams (1911), US general William Westmoreland (1914), actor Strother Martin (1919), SCOTUS justice Sandra Day O’Connor (1930), actor Leonard Nimoy (1931), actor Alan Arkin (1934), physicist Anthony James Leggett (1938), actor James Caan (1940), politician Nancy Pelosi (1940), novelist Erica Jong (1942), journalist Bob Woodward (1943), singer-songwriter Diana Ross (1944), singer-songwriter Steven Tyler (1948), actress/singer Vicki Lawrence (1949), singer-songwriter Teddy Pendergrass (1950), actor Martin Short (1950), composer Alan Silvestri (1950), politician Elaine Chao (1953), actress Jennifer Grey (1960), NBA player John Stockton (1962), actor Michael Imperioli (1966), singer-songwriter Kenny Chesney (1968), guitarist James Iha (1968), computer scientist/businessman Larry Page (1973), actress Keira Knightley (1985), and NFL player Von Miller (1989).

Well, a lot of stuff in flux right now, with news breaking left and right. I need to hurry up and finish this shit so some other crazy-ass story doesn’t pop up. Enjoy your day.