Random News: March 11, 2025

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s March 11, 2025, and it’s a Tuesday. I slept better last night than the night before, but I still reserve the right to complain daily for awhile about being up in pitch black pre-dawn darkness. I suppose I could get up later — no one forces me to get up when I do. But I do like staying on my schedule and avoiding the stress that comes from feeling like I’m running behind all day.

• Happy — I guess — five year anniversary to the official start of the pandemic.
• That’s right. While news of COVID-19 first broke in late January and spread throughout February (along with the disease and the havoc it wreaked), it was March 11, 2020 when the World Health Organization (WHO) declared the COVID-19 virus epidemic a pandemic.
• Here’s a sentence I wrote on that day five years ago… obviously not at all understanding, at the time, the full impact the pandemic would have on us all.
• “It's a nasty virus and as of today, out of 110,000 diagnosed cases, about 4,200 people worldwide have died as a result of it, with the majority of them being in mainland China.”
• It’s already difficult, five years on, to recall the speed at which the world changed in March 2020.
• Over the subsequent week or two, damn near everything got closed and/or canceled. The NCAA tournament. The NBA playoffs. The Las Vegas strip. Entire school districts. The stock market. And then nearly all in-person workplaces.
• We learned what “essential workers” really were. We made huge adjustments to what had previously been our daily routines. And thankfully, many of us followed guidelines for wearing masks and social distancing.
• And despite that, less than a month later, more than 1 million cases of COVID-19 had been confirmed worldwide, a more than ten-fold increase in a few weeks. By that July, the number of confirmed COVID-19 cases in the U.S. alone surpassed 3 million.
• It wasn’t until nearly a year later at the start of 2021 that the first people started getting the newly-developed vaccines to help fight COVID, beginning with the most vulnerable — the elderly and those with compromised immune systems.
• And on the first day of eligibility for my age group — April 1, 2021 — I was overjoyed to get my first dose of the Moderna vax. And I’ve kept up on boosters ever since. 
• But those early days, with people dying so quickly that there literally weren’t enough body bags to hold the corpses of the deceased… that was rough. None of us had experienced anything like that in our lifetimes.
• Since you’re reading this, you were among those who didn’t die, and I congratulate you on that.
• And it’s right to point out that if you’re reading this, you probably had some friends and/or family who did die due to COVID. I lost a lot of good people.
• Let’s do some news.
• US stocks fell sharply yesterday — continuing the prior week's losses — after Dumples the Clueless Clown said the economy faces a "period of transition" due to his shitty trade policies, and his brilliant statement of not ruling out a recession this year. 
• Dumpster’s trade war with China heated up yesterday as Beijing began implementing retaliatory tariffs on a range of American farm products for which China is the largest market. 
• That includes a 15% levy on U.S. chicken, wheat, and corn, and a 10% tax on soybeans, pork, beef, and fruit. 
• So yesterday the S&P 500 slipped 2%, on track for its worst day so far this year, leaving it down more than 8% from a record high set in February and nearly a "correction," a term for a drop of 10% or more.
• The index shed 3.1% last week, its worst weekly performance since September. 
• The tech-heavy Nasdaq was hit even harder, with the index entering into a correction last week and down more than 3% yesterday. It did rebound a little this morning thus far. The Dow Jones Industrial Average was down 470 points, or 1.1%, at 42,332. 
• Alphabet (aka Google), Apple, and Nvidia each fell more than 4%.
• The only happy note here: Tesla's shares plummeted more than 8%. Fuck Tesla.
• Moving on.
• Yesterday, Judge Jesse Furman slammed the brakes on Dumpy's attempt to deport a pro-Palestinian activist who helped lead Columbia University's 2024 student encampment protests.
• The judge ordered attorneys for the Dumpster and those for Mahmoud Khalil to appear for a conference tomorrow morning at court in Lower Manhattan.
• ”To preserve the Court's jurisdiction pending a ruling on the petition, [Khalil] shall not be removed from the United States unless and until the Court orders otherwise," wrote Furman.
• Khalil was arrested Saturday night at his university-owned apartment by federal immigration authorities. They claimed they were acting on a State Department order to revoke Khalil's student visa and green card. 
• Khalil is currently being held in Jena, LA awaiting immigration court proceedings that might result in his deportation. Keep in mind, this is a green card holder who is a permanent legal resident of the USA.
• Dumples said yesterday that Khalil's arrest was just the first "of many to come." This is the action of a fucking anti-American prick. They said Khalil's arrest was "in support of President Trump's executive orders prohibiting anti-Semitism.”
• If they’re going after Khalil like that, they can come after you too… even if you were born in this country.
• In other news…
• Today, Republicans will likely face a critical test of their unity when a spending bill that would avoid a partial government shutdown and keep federal agencies funded through September comes up for a vote.
• There’s a total lack of buy-in from Democrats, so Speaker Mike Johnson (R-LA) is essentially daring them to oppose it and risk a shutdown that would begin Saturday if lawmakers fail to act.
• I’ll tell ya, with all the federal firings and slashing/closures of departments under President Musk, it doesn’t feel like a total shutdown would make nearly as much of a difference as it would have under sane leadership.
• To push the spending bill through, Republicans will need overwhelming support from their members in both chambers — and some help from Senate Democrats — to get the bill to Dumpy’s desk.
• So we’ll keep an eye on that.
• From the International Desk…
• Ukraine is pissed off. I would be too if I were them.
• Overnight, they slammed Russia with a massive drone attack, just hours before critical talks between officials from Washington and Kyiv began.
• Moscow’s defense ministry said it had downed 343 drones it claimed Ukraine had fired at Russia, of which 91 had targeted the Moscow region. Falling debris damaged buildings in Russia’s capitol.
• If the figure is confirmed, the aerial attacks would represent one of the largest on Russia since its invasion of Ukraine.
• Hey, you know what would stop Ukraine from attacking? Maybe get the fuck out of their country and leave their original borders as they were three years ago when you started this shit, Vlad.
• Moving on.
• Black Lives Matter has now been canceled by Dump and his gang of white nationalists.
• Crews in Washington, D.C., have begun removing the city's "Black Lives Matter" street mural, a notable symbol of the 2020 protests against the killing of George Floyd, after a Republican bill targeting the mural threatened city funding.
• In June 2020, the city painted the phrase "Black Lives Matter" on the pavement in uppercase, yellow letters covering two blocks on 16th Street, about a quarter mile from the White House.
• And in 2021, Mayor Muriel Bowser said the mural would become permanent to commemorate the civil rights movement.
• But last week, Rep. Andrew Clyde (R-GA), a white man, introduced a bill calling for the city to paint over the mural and rename the area Liberty Plaza — or lose federal funds.
• After Floyd was killed in 2020 by former Minneapolis police officer Derek Chauvin, peaceful protesters in D.C. were met with violence and tear gas by federal law enforcement.
• Fucking pieces of shit. They can’t even handle the concept that non-white people have lives that matter. That’s an insult to them.
• Let’s take a look at what’s happening at the Supreme Court.
• Yesterday, they agreed to weigh in on the constitutionality of Colorado’s ban on “conversion therapy” — that is, the effort to “convert” someone’s sexual orientation or gender identity.
• I don’t have high hopes here from the six right-wing assholes who sit on the bench.
• Less than a year and a half ago, the Supreme Court declined to hear a challenge to a Washington state law that prohibits licensed therapists from practicing conversion therapy on children. Justices Clarence Thomas and Samuel Alito dissented from the decision not to weigh in then, indicating that they would have granted review.
• But yesterday, the justices agreed to take up a challenge to a similar ban, this time from Colorado.
• The case was filed by Kaley Chiles, a licensed counselor and a self-described Christian. She says she believes “clients can accept the bodies that God has given them and find peace.” 
• She contends that the law violates her First Amendment rights to free speech and to freely exercise her religion.
• Fuck you and your fucking religion. Let people be who they naturally are, you disgusting pig.
• Let’s move on with some Idiocracy news.
• On Friday, Agriculture Secretary Brooke Rollins made a social post that said a $600,000 grant to Southern University in Louisiana was being revoked for studying "menstrual cycles in transgender men.”
• Elon Muck’s DOGE highlighted the Rollins post, reposting it on the official doge.gov website and on social media.
• Anyone wanna guess whether this information is right or wrong? Anyone?
• The grant was actually intended for research on the potential health risks posed by synthetic feminine hygiene products and for developing alternatives using natural fibers and fabrics.
• The goals of the grant were to develop sustainable feminine hygiene products using regenerative cotton, wool, and industrial hemp.
• It also would have funded a fiber processing center for locally grown fibers in Louisiana — potentially benefiting a state with some of the highest unemployment and poverty rates in the country.
• There was literally nothing in the grant about any topic relating to transgender people. Nothing. Zero.
• These people are beyond stupid.
• Speaking of stupid people… like the few still using Musk’s social platform…
• The social media site formerly known as Twitter had a very bad day yesterday, with users reporting multiple outages throughout the day.
• It started about 10AM ET. Elon Musk claimed that "there was (still is) a massive cyberattack against X", which was "done with a lot of resources.”
• A thought: maybe if most of the world didn’t hate you and all that you stand for, you’re less likely to be under attack? Just an idea.
• Elmo added that "either a large, coordinated group and/or a country is involved,”, though he didn’t speculate as to who that might be.
• In other news…
• Yesterday, a top political columnist for The Washington Post resigned, accusing Post chief executive and publisher Will Lewis of killing her column that criticized owner Jeff Bezos's drive to overhaul the opinion pages to focus on his libertarian priorities.
• Post columnist and Associate Editor Ruth Marcus, who has worked at the paper for four decades, says she can no longer stay there.
• More than 75,000 digital subscribers canceled in the 48 hours after Bezos revealed his intentions late last month, which included an edict that the paper would not print opposing views.
• And now, The Weather: “Fake Love Friday Night” by Munan
• Let’s do a chart.
• It’s March 1985. I’m a junior at Miraleste High School in Rancho Palos Verdes, CA. I’m… making poor decisions across the board. But I survive, as evidenced by my being here and writing to you today, 40 years later.
• The music? For the most part, meh. Corporate pop/rock is king, and slickly-produced tunes that sound like they came straight out of a board meeting at a record label rule the charts. I see literally just one song in this Top 20 that has any degree of adventurousness.
• Which one is it?
• 1. Can't Fight This Feeling (REO Speedwagon). 2. The Heat Is On (Glenn Frey). 3. Material Girl (Madonna). 4. California Girls (David Lee Roth). 5. One More Night (Phil Collins). 6. Too Late For Goodbyes (Julian Lennon). 7. Careless Whisper (Wham! Featuring George Michael). 8. Lover Girl (Teena Marie). 9. Private Dancer (Tina Turner). 10. Relax (Frankie Goes To Hollywood). 11. Only The Young (Journey). 12. Neutron Dance (The Pointer Sisters). 13. Misled (Kool & The Gang). 14. High On You (Survivor). 15. I Want To Know What Love Is (Foreigner). 16. Save A Prayer (Duran Duran). 17. Sugar Walls (Sheena Easton). 18. Just Another Night (Mick Jagger). 19. The Old Man Down The Road (John Fogerty). 20. Lover Boy (Billy Ocean).
• From the Sports Desk… with free agency moves in full swing, by the time you see an NFL game when the new season starts, you might find your team nearly unrecognizable.
• In the past week alone… Geno Smith to the Raiders. Sam Darnold to the Seahawks. Justin Fields to the Jets. DK Metcalf to the Steelers. Josh Sweat to the Cardinals. Kenny Pickett to the Browns. And dozens more… and it’s not nearly done.
• Not to mention some big names that got cut for contract/money reasons who will be picked up elsewhere. And then a whole-ass draft in April.
• Good luck to your team (unless your good fortune fucks up my team).
• Today in history… Queen Anne withholds Royal Assent from the Scottish Militia Bill, the last time a British monarch vetoes legislation (1708). The first performance of ‘Rigoletto’ by Giuseppe Verdi takes place in Venice (1851). In New York City, Samuel Roxy Rothafel opens the Roxy Theatre (1927). United States President Franklin D. Roosevelt signs the Lend-Lease Act into law, allowing American-built war supplies to be shipped to the Allies on loan (1941). Hundreds of students protest in the University of Pristina in Kosovo, then part of Yugoslavia, to give their province more political rights (1981). Mikhail Gorbachev is elected to the position of General Secretary of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union, making Gorbachev the USSR's de facto, and last, head of state (1985). The International Criminal Court holds its inaugural session in The Hague (2003). The World Health Organization (WHO) declares the COVID-19 virus epidemic a pandemic (2020). US President Joe Biden signs the $1.9 trillion American Rescue Plan into law (2021).
• March 11 is the birthday of politician/SCOTUS justice John McLean (1785), mathematician/economist Joseph Louis François Bertrand (1822), actress Dorothy Gish (1898), bandleader Lawrence Welk (1903), UK prime minister Harold Wilson (1916), businessman Rupert Murdoch (1931), journalist Sam Donaldson (1934), SCOTUS justice Antonin Scalia (1936), singer-songwriter Bobby McFerrin (1950), author Douglas Adams (1952), music producer/businessman Jimmy Iovine (1953), singer-songwriter Nina Hagen (1955), porn actress/sex educator Nina Hartley (1959), drummer Vinnie Paul (1964), singer-songwriter Lisa Loeb (1968), actor Johnny Knoxville (1971), singer-songwriter Benji Madden (1979), actress Thora Birch (1982), actor Anton Yelchin (1989), and NBA player Anthony Davis (1993).

Well, that’s plenty to think about for now. Hey look, the sun just came up. Oh joy of joys. About time, you late-ass star. Enjoy your day.