Random News: March 15, 2025

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s March 15, 2025, and it’s a Saturday. I’m in my bathrobe and I have my coffee. The sun is shining, the cats are meowing, and I’m ready to saddle up, lock and load, and fight like hell for democracy. Let’s ride, motherfuckers.

• Today is the Ides of March.
• See, the Romans did not number each day of a month from the first to the last day.
• Instead, they counted back from three fixed points of the month: the Nones (the 5th or 7th, eight days before the Ides), the Ides (the 13th for most months, but the 15th in March, May, July, and October), and the Kalends (1st of the following month).
• Um, that seems so needlessly complicated, but it was originally based on the moon cycle, and obviously that got fucked up quickly, so they migrated to this system instead.
• Anyway, the Ides of March is now notoriously known as the date on which Julius Caesar was assassinated in 44 BC. He was stabbed to death — by as many as 60 conspirators — at a meeting of the Senate.
• Old Julius had tried to grab too much power and act as a dictator, and… you know, never mind.
• Because Caesar was alleged to have been warned about the Ides of March by a seer, the date remains known as one of caution for superstitious people.
• Ask me if I got laid off a job after more than seven years on March 15, 2000. Or don’t because I just told you.
• Let’s do some news.
• Yesterday, the Senate passed a six-month spending bill hours before a government shutdown, overcoming sharp Democratic opposition to the measure and sending it to Dumpy to be signed into law.
• Backing up a moment, earlier in the day, it took a group of 10 Democrats, including Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) to join Republicans in a procedural vote and advance their bill to fund the government through September 30.
• That infuriated many within their party, including me.
• In addition to Schumer, the Democrats who voted to advance the measure also included Senate Democratic Whip Dick Durbin (D-IL) and Sens. Catherine Cortez Masto (D-NV), Maggie Hassan (D-NH), John Fetterman (D-PA), Gary Peters (D-MI), Brian Schatz (D-HI), Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY), Jeanne Shaheen (D-DH), and Angus King (I-ME), who caucuses with Democrats. 
• Both sides tried to wedge in some amendments, as is typical. Sen. Tammy Duckworth (D-IL) sponsored legislation that would reinstate veterans who were fired from their federal jobs under Dump. Another, sponsored by Sen. Chris Van Hollen (D-MD), would eliminate the Department of Government Efficiency. A third, sponsored by Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY), would codify the cuts to foreign assistance recommended by the Department of Government Efficiency. 
• All of the amendments failed. 
• Why did Schumer lead the pussy-ass side of the Senate Dems to pass the bill? There is at least one reasonable answer.
• A shutdown would give President Musk and Li’l Dump tremendous leverage to keep federal employees out of work and to keep federal agencies shuttered for weeks or even months.
• And if that were to happen, it would be spun as being completely the fault of the Democrats. That would give Dump and Elon and all of them a scapegoat for their own actions.
• I’m not saying it’s a good reason. It’s just one way of understanding why they’re such pansy-ass bitches.
• When it was time for the actual vote, though, only two members of the Democratic caucus voted for the bill. It was Senator Jeanne Shaheen (D-NH), who is retiring at the end of her current term, and independent Angus King of Maine.
• The six-month spending bill passed 54-46. Wait, the math doesn’t add up.
• Ah, I see. Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY) also voted no because the bill wasn’t as shitty as he’d have preferred.
• Anyway, now that it’s passed, the Republican-controlled Congress — both chambers — will focus purely on enacting Dump’s agenda of tax cuts for the extremely wealthy people, deporting legal citizens, and eventually getting around to removing rights for women, gays, and all non-white people
• So that’s that. Let’s move on.
• Yesterday, the Veterans Affairs Department reversed a policy that had protected gender-affirming healthcare provided to transgender veterans, causing confusion and fear in the community.
• The VA says it's rescinding Directive 1341, which contains detailed guidance on the kinds of care transgender veterans can receive at VA facilities. The policy had also directed healthcare providers to use pronouns veterans preferred, directed facilities to allow veterans to use bathrooms, and be assigned rooms in accordance with their self-identified gender.
• Important note: while transgender people make up a very small percentage of the population, research suggest that they are far more likely to serve our country in its military forces.
• And at the same time, VA's research shows that veterans who are sexual minorities — including LGBTQIA, non-binary, intersex, and other veterans — are more likely than average veterans to take their own lives.
• And overall, veterans have a higher average suicide rate than the general population.
• So now those services are gone, and you can count on the sadly expected results.
• Let’s move on.
• Looks like the Dumpy/Elon romance may have hit a rough spot.
• Electric vehicle maker Tesla is warning that the Dump administration's trade policies could be detrimental to U.S.-based EV companies. 
• Snort.
• In an unsigned March 11 letter to the Office of the United States Trade Representative (USTR), the company — owned by Weird Elmo, who has become a “close adviser” to Dumplestiltskin — encouraged the administration to consider how its trade policy could harm domestic automakers like Tesla. 
• ”As a U.S. manufacturer and exporter, Tesla encourages USTR to consider the downstream impacts of certain proposed actions taken to address unfair trade practices," Tesla wrote. 
• Specifically, the company raises concerns over retaliatory tariffs against the U.S. that would make their vehicles more expensive, and could dent overseas demand. As you know, Dump officially increased tariffs on all steel and aluminum imports to 25% this week, promising they would help create U.S. factory jobs. 
• On a related note… the quote of the day is from Senator and former test pilot and astronaut Mark Kelly (D-AZ), who is getting rid of his Tesla…
• “Elon Musk kind of turned out to be an asshole, and I don’t want to be driving a car built and designed by an asshole. So, looking forward to my new ride.”
• Moving on.
• Secretary of State Marco Rubio on Friday declared Ebrahim Rasool, South Africa’s ambassador to the United States, persona non grata, saying “he is no longer welcome in our great country.”
• Rasool was given 72 hours to leave the country. Why?
• He gave a speech to a Johannesburg think tank Friday in which he said Dump was mobilizing white supremacy in the United States and abroad as well.
• Ah, so he told the truth.
• What’s this really all about? Elon Musk, who was born and raised in South Africa, is upset about new legislation in his home country that prevents white land owners from refusing to sell to Black purchasers.
• It’s just the continuation of apartheid. The white supremacists are still mad they can’t treat Black people as second-class citizens or slaves.
• And if they could, they’d have those policies enacted here in the USA. And they may still try.
• From the International Desk… hey how’s it going in Ukraine?
• Yesterday, Dumpy was asked about he claim he made as a candidate that he would have the Russia-Ukraine war solved within 24 hours — and even before he even took office.
• He’d stated, in May 2023, “They’re dying, Russians and Ukrainians. I want them to stop dying. And I’ll have that done — I’ll have that done in 24 hours.”
• And now that he’s president again?
• “Well, I was being a little bit sarcastic when I said that. What I really mean is I’d like to get it settled and, I’ll, I think, I think I’ll be successful.”
• Okay Donnie. By the way, Putin’s terms for stopping his invasion of Ukraine is for Ukraine to surrender entirely. Maybe that’s what Dumpy meant.
• In other news, let’s see how Jedediah Deliverance Vance is doing.
• The vice president received a roaring chorus of boos and jeers while attending a National Symphony Orchestra performance at the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts.
• Loud boos broke out in the audience as Vance took his seat in the box tier next to his wife, Usha Vance, for the symphony's performance of Shostakovich’s Violin Concerto No. 2 and Stravinsky’s "Petrushka."
• The massively unpopular couch-fucking veep could be seen in videos smiling and waving amid the noise. Shouts of “you ruined this place!” could also be heard among the boos.
• Fuck that guy. Let’s move on.
• And now, The Weather: “This Is Real” by feeble little horse
• Again, a real weather note… Missouri authorities reported at least 10 storm-related deaths this morning after tornadoes ripped through the lower half of the state.
• The tornado outbreak is expected to continue throughout this afternoon and evening, with the highest risk across several states in the Deep South as extreme weather conditions reach a peak.
• Since last night, 25 tornadoes had been reported across the central United States, some of which were severe, damaging and deadly. A rare high risk (Level 5 out of 5) for severe thunderstorms covers Mississippi and Alabama into early Sunday.
• Stay safe, peoples.
• From the Sports Desk… there were so many quarterback team changes during free agency over the past couple of weeks that ESPN’s NFL analyst Dan Orlovsky did a top-ten ranking of the moves.
• 10. Jacoby Brissett to the Arizona Cardinals: gives Arizona stability behind Kyler Murray.
• 9. Joshua Dobbs to the New England Patriots: helps develop second-year starter Drake Maye.
• 8. Mac Jones to the San Francisco 49ers: Jones fits style-wise with how the Niners play.
• 7. Jimmy Garoppolo to the Los Angeles Rams: experienced backup to Matthew Stafford.
• 6. Kenny Pickett to the Cleveland Browns: possible opening day starter with Deshaun Watson out because of a retorn Achilles.
• 5. Zach Wilson to the Miami Dolphins: capable for when Tua inevitably gets hurt again.
• 4. Daniel Jones to the Indianapolis Colts: it will be a competition to start between him and Anthony Richardson.
• 3. Justin Fields to the New York Jets: mobile QB who is just hitting his stride, though they still might draft another quarterback.
• 2. Geno Smith to the Las Vegas Raiders: a veteran who can help them win right away.
• 1. Sam Darnold to the Seattle Seahawks: he was great in MN last year with 35 touchdown passes, but Seattle still needs more help for people to catch those passes.
• Speaking of Minnesota, the Vikings are at the top of the list of landing spots for Aaron Rodgers, which if it happens hilariously means he’s repeating Brett Favre’s career path team-for-team.
• Oh, and I definitely should mention that the Seattle Seahawks woes from their personnel shakeup got a little brighter yesterday when they signed wide receiver Cooper Kupp, a tenacious player and the MVP of Super Bowl LVI.
• Today in history… The assassination of Julius Caesar takes place (44 BC). King Charles II of England issues the Royal Declaration of Indulgence, granting limited religious freedom to all Christians (1672). Maine is admitted as the twenty-third U.S. state (1820). Tsar Nicholas II of Russia abdicates the Russian throne, ending the 304-year Romanov dynasty (1917). Germany occupies Czechoslovakia (1939). President Lyndon B. Johnson, responding to the Selma crisis, tells U.S. Congress "We shall overcome" while advocating the Voting Rights Act (1965). Mikhail Gorbachev is elected as the first President of the Soviet Union (1990). Approximately 1.4 million young people in 123 countries go on strike to protest climate change (2019).
• March 15 is the birthday of US president Andrew Jackson (1767), physician/epidemiologist John Snow (1813), educator/activist Hallie Quinn Brown (1845), physician Emil von Behring (1854), mathematician Grace Chisholm Young (1868), singer-songwriter Lightnin' Hopkins (1912), actor Lawrence Tierney (1919), NFL player Norm Van Brocklin (1926), music producer Arif Mardin (1932), SCOTUS justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg (1933), actor Judd Hirsch (1935), songwriter/bass player Phil Lesh (1940), director David Cronenberg (1943), singer-songwriter Sly Stone (1943), guitarist Ry Cooder (1947), singer-songwriter Dee Snider (1955), singer-songwriter Terence Trent D’Arby (1962), singer Bret Michaels (1963), singer Mark McGrath (1968), NFL coach Mike Tomlin (1972), actress Eva Longoria (1975), rapper will.i.am (1975), MLB player Kevin Youkilis (1979), and NFL player Taylor Heinicke (1993).

I don’t have any big plans today, beyond some shitty and boring but necessary housework and the like. Always remember… we’re going to keep fighting the fascist takeover of our country and make life really difficult for anyone who feels otherwise. Enjoy your day.