Random News: March 21, 2025

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s March 21, 2025, and if you can believe it, it’s a Friday once again! Seems like a pretty good morning thus far. It’s amazing how quickly things change in the Spring; daylight savings kicked in just 10 days ago but already it’s nice and bright as I sit down to check out the news. I feel pretty good so far.

• Are you happy? I’m mostly happy. More happy than not, anyway.
• And I know why I’m happy. I have reasonably good health (as does my immediate family), I am capable of earning a good living and living independently, and perhaps above all, I don’t have missiles being fired at me, I have food to eat and a roof over my head, and don’t face daily discrimination based on my race or gender or any other factor.
• I’m also happy because I have a rich social life, I use my creativity for both my profession and my personal enjoyment, and in a number of ways, I take positive steps to make the world around me a better place in which to live. Like writing this news for you every morning.
• Are the rest of my fellow citizens of the USA happy? Not so much.
• The United States this year fell to its lowest-ever place on the World Happiness Report, an annual survey that highlights the positive effects benevolence and social connections have on people's life satisfaction.
• Finland remained the happiest nation for the eighth year in a row, while Mexico and Costa Rico ranked among the top 10 for the first time since the report was first published in 2012. 
• This year's report ranks 147 countries by their happiness levels — based on a population's average assessment of their quality of life from 2022 to 2024.
• The USA — at No. 24 — earned its lowest ranking since the report began.
• Researchers found that the belief in the kindness of others, as well as actively caring about and sharing with others, has strong effects on happiness.
• ”Happiness isn't just about wealth or growth — it's about trust, connection and knowing people have your back," said Jon Clifton, the CEO of Gallup, who conducted the survey.
• Okay, now the news.
• It’s turning out — unsurprisingly — that some of the men deported by the Dump administration to an El Salvador prison are not gang members or criminals at all. Example: a barber from Venezuela was among those on the list for the deportation flights even though documents show he has no criminal record.
• Franco José Caraballo Tiapa, 26, is from Venezuela and entered the U.S. in 2023, requesting asylum from persecution back home.
• In February, at a routine check-in with U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement in Texas, he was unexpectedly detained.
• A document from the Department of Homeland Security shows Caraballo is accused of being a member of the criminal gang Tren de Aragua but also specifies that he has no criminal history in the U.S. Venezuelan officials said he has no record there either.
• And he’s just one case where providing due process under law would have stopped his pointless prosecution. He had no chance to defend the allegation.
• Another is Jerce Reyes Barrios, 36. he fled his home country after he was tortured for taking part in anti-regime demonstrations last year.
• Reyes Barrios has no ties to Tren de Aragua. But his tattoo, which is similar to the logo for his favorite soccer team Real Madrid, was mistaken for gang membership.
• And they sent him to a brutal prison in El Salvador.
• You can bet there are more cases like these guys. Some simple investigation and the chance to defend one’s self in court would have cleared that up.
• It’s vile and un-American, and it’s exactly what Dump and President Musk want.
• Let’s move on.
• Actually, no, let’s not. This is too important.
• Lennon Tyler — a U.S. citizen — and her German fiancé often took road trips to Mexico when he vacationed in the United States since it was only a day’s drive from her home in Las Vegas.
• But things went terribly wrong when they drove back from Tijuana last month.
• U.S. border agents handcuffed Tyler and chained her to a bench, while her fiancé, Lucas Sielaff, was accused of violating the rules of his 90-day U.S. tourist permit. Then authorities handcuffed and shackled Sielaff and sent him to a crowded U.S. immigration detention center. 
• He spent 16 days locked up before being allowed to fly home to Germany.
• Another German tourist, Jessica Brösche, was stopped at the Tijuana crossing on January 25. She spent over six weeks locked up, including over a fucking week in solitary confinement.
• And on the Canadian border, a backpacker from Wales spent nearly three weeks at a detention center before flying home this week. And a Canadian woman on a work visa who was detained at the Tijuana border spent 12 days in detention before returning home last weekend.
• So now, countries with whom the USA has long considered allies — including Britain and Germany — have issued new warnings to their citizens about traveling to the U.S. in the wake of visitors’ horrifying experiences coming to the country in the shadow of Dump.
• You know, in addition to being disgusting in the aspect of xenophobia, businesses in the USA make a lot of money form tourism. I guess we can kiss that goodbye.
• Okay, now let’s move on.
• Yesterday, U.S. District Judge Ellen Hollander temporarily blocked the White House's Department of Government Efficiency from accessing systems at the Social Security Administration containing the sensitive information of millions of Americans.
• Thank God for people like her. The ruling delivers another setback to Dump's and his boss Musk’s efforts to overhaul the federal government.
• Hollander wrote in a 137-page decision that a group of unions challenging DOGE's access to systems of records at the SSA was likely to succeed on its claims that the efforts violated the Privacy Act and a federal law that governs the agency rulemaking process.
• She granted a request for a temporary restraining order that was sought by the labor unions, which filed a lawsuit in February that challenged the legality of the SSA's decision to allow DOGE to get its hands on sensitive, personal, and confidential information pertaining to millions of Americans.
• The judge's order blocks officials at the SSA from granting DOGE access to systems containing Americans' personal information. It also requires Elon Musk, DOGE, and its team members at the agency to delete all non-anonymized personal information that they obtained from the SSA, and prevents them from accessing any agency computer or software code.
• I want you to keep in mind that Social Security is YOUR money that you’ve paid into your entire working life. Musk and Dump want to straight-up steal it from you.
• They’re working hard, night and day, to take your money… and you’re just going to sit back and let them, assuming you’re a giant pussy-ass bitch.
• Or a Republican. Same thing.
• Moving on.
• Yesterday, U.S. safety regulators recalled virtually all Tesla Cybertrucks on the road, the eighth recall of the ugly-ass vehicles since deliveries to customers began a year ago.
• The recall, which covers more than 46,000 Cybertrucks, warned that an exterior panel that runs along the left and right sight of the windshield can detach while driving, creating a dangerous road hazard for other drivers, increasing the risk of a crash.
• How can this happen? They stuck the piece on with some super cheap glue that dries up and stops functioning.
• Tesla will replace the panel free of charge, obviously. If they keep up this terrible performance, that entire brand could eventually disappear.
• Way before the attacks on the brand ramped up in recent weeks, Tesla had been struggling, facing increased competition from rival electric vehicles, particularly out of China.
• Though largely unaffected by yesterday’s recall announcement, Tesla shares have plummeted 42% in 2025 thus far, reflecting newfound pessimism as sales crater around the globe.
• And, I have to ask every person reading this right now…
• What in the name of fuck is Elon Musk doing at the Pentagon today?
• He’s meeting with Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth and Indo-Pacific commander Adm. Sam Paparo — who will attend virtually from Hawaii — and it goes beyond saying that the meeting shows the extraordinary level of access Musk, a defense contractor with billions of dollars in government contracts, holds over the administration.
• According to some officials, Musk’s visit will focus on the threat China presents to the region but won’t include classified war plans.
• However, the New York Times reported last night that Musk would be briefed on the U.S. military’s plans for any potential war with China.
• So to be clear here: we just told you that Tesla sales are tanking in part due to increased competition from China. And now Elon is getting briefed on war plans with the country.
• How fucking stupid do they think we are?
• Moving on to a quick followup from a story earlier this week.
• Minnesota state Sen. Justin Eichorn resigned yesterday in the wake of a federal criminal charge accusing him of soliciting sex from someone he thought was 17, but turned out to be an undercover cop.
• The move comes after Eichorn's colleagues in the Republican caucus said they would vote to expel him from the chamber if he did not step down. Democrats were prepared to join them to clear the two-thirds majority hurdle needed for expulsion. 
• Eichorn, a Republican from Grand Rapids, is charged with attempted coercion or enticement of a minor.
• The day before his arrest for trying to fuck a child, Eichorn had tried to introduce legislation to proclaim that anyone who opposes Donnie Dump would be declared legally insane.
• Ladies and gentlemen, your Republican party (golf clap).
• And now, The Weather: “As Fast as I Can” by Yndling
• An RIP I missed earlier this week but should not go unnoticed…
• Jesse Colin Young, who sang one of the signature songs of the 1960s counterculture — the Youngbloods’ “Get Together”  — died at age 83.
• Young was a founding member of the Youngbloods, whose “Get Together” reached No. 5 on the Billboard Hot 100 in 1969.
• Interesting side note: the song had appeared on the band’s self-titled debut album two years earlier in 1967. But they re-released it two years later when the time was right. Huge hit.
• And the Youngbloods never had another charting song. Hey, one hit is way more than most musicians ever have, and we still admire that song today, some 58 years after it was recorded.
• Well done.
• From the Sports Desk… Alex Ovechkin is one step closer to NHL history after the "Great 8" reached a fitting number in his pursuit of Wayne Gretzky's career goals record.
• Ovi scored his 888th goal last night in a 3-2 victory by the Washington Capitals over the Philadelphia Flyers that helped them clinch a playoff berth, moving seven back of passing Gretzky's mark of 894 that long seemed unapproachable.
• Amazing.
• In other sports news, the Boston Celtics are being sold to William Chisholm for $6.1 billion, team ownership announced yesterday morning. The deal is pending NBA Board of Governors approval. 
• The $6.1 billion deal becomes the largest sale for a sports franchise in North America. It surpasses the $6.05 billion sale of the Washington Commanders in 2023.
• Today in history… The Battle of Alexandria is fought between British and French forces near the ruins of Nicopolis near Alexandria in Egypt (1801). Otto von Bismarck is appointed as the first Chancellor of the German Empire (1871). The Butler Act prohibits the teaching of human evolution in Tennessee (1925). Shah of Iran Reza Shah Pahlavi formally asks the international community to call Persia by its native name, Iran (1935). The Los Angeles Rams sign Kenny Washington, making him the first African American player in professional American football since 1933 (1946). Alan Freed presents the Moondog Coronation Ball, the first rock and roll concert, in Cleveland, OH (1952). Alcatraz Federal Penitentiary closes (1963). Martin Luther King Jr. leads 3,200 people on the start of the third and finally successful civil rights march from Selma to Montgomery, AL (1965). The first Earth Day proclamation is issued by Joseph Alioto, Mayor of San Francisco (1970). San Diego Comic-Con, the largest pop and culture festival in the world, hosts its inaugural event (1970). U.S. President Jimmy Carter announces a United States boycott of the 1980 Summer Olympics in Moscow to protest the Soviet–Afghan War (1980). Namibia becomes independent after 75 years of South African rule (1990). The social media site Twitter is founded (2006).
• March 21 is the birthday of composer Johann Sebastian Bach (1685), physicist Joseph Fourier (1768), Mexico president Benito Juárez (1806), composer Modest Mussorgsky (1839), actor Broncho Billy Anderson (1880), painter Hans Hofmann (1880), singer-songwriter Son House (1902), philanthropist John D. Rockefeller III (1906), scientist/inventor Walter Lincoln Hawkins (1911), singer/musician Rose Stone (1945), actor Timothy Dalton (1946), singer-songwriter Eddie Money (1949), singer-songwriter/keyboardist Roger Hodgson (1950), drummer Slim Jim Phantom (1961), actor Matthew Broderick (1962), actress Rosie O’Donnell (1962), political activist Cenk Uygur (1970), actor/comedian Rhys Darby (1974), soccer player Ronaldinho (1980), and NFL player Adrian Peterson (1985).

Alrighty. Got any plans for the weekend? I don’t… just how I like it. Enjoy your day.