Random News: March 4, 2025

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s March 4, 2025, and it’s a Tuesday. We have a ton of news today — and I have a busy workday ahead and also have a live music show tonight. So no fucking around with preambles… let’s dive right in.

• I want to do a little thought exercise to open things up today.
• Imagine you’re Russia. You were a world superpower in close competition to the USA in the latter half of the 20th century, but then your economy crashed and your country was taken over by a handful of oligarchs.
• You can’t beat the USA in a military conflict. The best you could hope for is mutually assured destruction and the end of humanity in a nuclear holocaust.
• So what are your options to defeat your enemy?
• First, you’re going to use misinformation via social media to turn the USA against its own core concepts. You’ll pay influencers big money to repeat your talking points to a vulnerable audience.
• Second, you’re going plant candidates at multiple levels of government. Some you simply pay; others you have compromising info on that would ruin their careers and lives if made public.
• Third, you tilt their main media outlets to become a voice for the far right, attracting the less educated and then scaring the elderly to start speaking your position for you.
• Fourth, you remove the governmental safety nets that allow people to live with a sense of security, and you create policies that result in immediate economic instability.
• Fifth, you force them to enact laws that places them in a precarious position. You have them pull back on their military readiness. You eliminate jobs. You shrink the government to the point that it’s not capable of helping its citizens.
• Sixth, you force them to become alienated from their allies, breaking up allegiances that have been in place for decades.
• And you win without firing a single shot.
• Does any of this look or sound familiar to the path we’ve been heading down in the USA for the past number of years? Maybe there’s a reason for that.
• Let’s do the news.
• Dumpy the Smelly Asshole has paused all military aid to Ukraine after their President, Volodymyr Zelenskyy, made him cry in the Oval Office last week.
• So now we’re abandoning our allies. It’s fucking vile.
• All because Zelenskyy, in Dumpy’s giant and easily bruised ego, wasn’t grateful enough.
• Yesterday, Dump again whined that Zelenskyy should be more appreciative of American support after earlier responding angrily to a report quoting Zelenskyy as saying the end of the war is “very, very far away.”
• Despite the bitchy attitude, Dump is also still trying to extort Ukraine’s mineral wealth, which is all he gives a shit about. He definitely doesn’t care that Russia has aggressively invaded our ally.
• In other news from the World’s Worst President desk…
• As mostly expected, yesterday Dumples declared that he would slap 25% tariffs on imported goods from Canada and Mexico starting today, after weeks of speculation that the threat would be lifted or the rate lowered.
• But no. he’s going to fuck America as hard as possible.
• He claims the tariffs would punish Canada and Mexico — partners in a trilateral trade agreement — for fentanyl trafficking.
• But once again, for those who have been trapped in a cave, any tariff is simply a tax on the American people. The additional costs for imported goods will just be added to the retail price that you pay when you buy them.
• Dumpy is also set to add another 10% to tariffs on imports of Chinese goods, after initially applying tariffs of 10% last month.
• So now everything you buy that’s manufactured in China — which is, let’s face it, a fuckton of stuff — is now 20% higher than it was two months ago.
• Slow clap.
• What happened within seconds after Dumpy’s announcement?
• US stocks tanked as investors braced for the tariffs that went into effect at midnight. The Dow tumbled 650 points, or 1.48%, to close at 43,191. It had actually fallen almost 900 points in afternoon trading before pulling back slightly.
• And the S&P 500 posted its biggest one-day decline of the year. The Nasdaq is down about 6.5% since since Trump took office on January 20.
• This president just fucking sucks, ya know?
• And in regard to the tariffs, Dump issued an ominous message to American farmers as he announced his plan to destroy their most profitable market: foreign exports.
• “To the Great Farmers of the United States: Get ready to start making a lot of agricultural product to be sold INSIDE of the United States,” Dump wrote yesterday. “Tariffs will go on external product on April 2nd. Have fun!”
• Have fun? This guy just destroyed their lives.
• This will have a massive, direct impact on how much money farmers — many of whom are still reeling from the tariffs (and subsequent bailout) from Trump’s first term — will make from the products they grow.
• Agricultural exports like soybeans, grains, fruit, vegetables, and livestock products provided U.S. farmers with about $180 billion in annual revenue in the 2023 fiscal year.
• Moving on.
• Tonight is the Dumpster’s joint address to Congress. It’s not a State of the Union; presidents don’t do this in their first year of election.
• Democrats aren’t going to support this fucking wanna-be dictator prick at the event.
• Instead, Dem lawmakers — the ones who attend, which definitely won’t be all of them — will be bringing some friends with them. Namely, people affected by DOGE and Trump's federal funding freeze.
• Many Democrats are hosting their own town halls or participating in online events instead of supporting the fascist piece of shit via their attendance.
• So while Dump is blathering out his teleprompter bullshit, he’ll have to look into the eyes of federal employees who were recently laid off by his boss, Elon Musk. 
• The fired workers will be there at the invitation of Democrats in both chambers — a strategy that represents just the latest piece of a broader campaign to highlight the real-world effects that Dump’s early policy moves are having on Americans who live far outside the Beltway.
• An example: Sen. Ruben Gallego (D-AZ) has invited Kyle Rahn, a disabled Army veteran who served three tours in Iraq before his move to the Department of Homeland Security, where he served as a national security specialist. Rahn was fired last month by email. 
• Nothing would make me happier than Dumpy getting flustered and angry from having to look into the eyes of just a few of the folks whose lives he’s already ruined.
• I’m not sure what time Dumpy’s speech is on, but for my friends in Second Life, I have a show at 5PM SLT at Hotel Chelsea, and you’re all welcome to attend that instead.
• Okay, let’s move on.
• A bit of good news…
• Yesterday, Senate Democrats blocked a GOP-led bill that would ban transgender athletes at federally funded schools and educational institutions.
• The bill’s failure to advance highlights the limits of Republicans’ narrow margins in Congress, despite control of both chambers. The party still needs support from Democrats in the Senate for most legislation to clear a 60-vote threshold. The party line vote was 51-45.
• Senate Republicans have 53 seats. Typically, that would mean that at least seven Democrats would need to vote with Republicans to hit the 60-vote threshold to advance a bill subject to a filibuster.
• Ha ha, fuckers. Still gotta work with us, whether you like it or not.
• In other news…
• Republicans in Congress are taking aim at four cities — often called “sanctuary cities” — over their policies limiting cooperation with immigration enforcement with a hearing this week.
• Mayors Michelle Wu of Boston, Brandon Johnson of Chicago, Mike Johnston of Denver, and Eric Adams of New York are set to appear tomorrow in front of the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform.
• What even is a “sanctuary city”? There’s no formal definition.
• The term generally describes limited cooperation with Immigration and Customs Enforcement. ICE enforces U.S. immigration laws nationwide but seeks state and local help, particularly for large-scale deportations, requesting that police and sheriffs alert them to people it wants to deport and hold them until federal officers take custody.
• Hmm, how about, fuck you? Is that the right response?
• If you would have helped hide Anne Frank from the Nazis in the 1940s, I hope you’d do the same for a poor Hispanic family in the 2020s who’s escaping ICE.
• Especially now that Dumpy is having otherwise innocent people sent to a concentration camp in Guantánamo. I will never help anyone in that process under any circumstances.
• Moving on.
• A follow-up from a story we discussed a few years back.
• Robert E. Crimo III pleaded guilty yesterday to killing seven people and injuring dozens more when he opened fire on a 2022 Independence Day parade in a Chicago suburb.
• The little 24-year-old asshole murderer withdrew his earlier not-guilty plea in the Highland Park shooting.
• Prosecutors initially charged him with 21 counts of first-degree murder — three counts for each person killed — as well as 48 counts of attempted murder.
• Sentencing will come April 23, but Crimo is certain to spend the rest of his life behind bars. Each count of first-degree murder carries a maximum natural life prison sentence. Prosecutors said survivors would get the chance to address Crimo at the sentencing.
• Good.
• From the Business Desk, a FA/FO story.
• Yesterday, Kroger CEO Rodney McMullen resigned abruptly after the company board investigated his personal conduct and found it counter to their corporate code of ethics.
• Hmm. It's an abrupt leadership shakeup at the country's largest supermarket chain, with little detail shared on what exactly led to it.
• Kroger on Monday said its board had just learned about "certain personal conduct" by McMullen.
• McMullen had overseen Kroger's unsuccessful attempt to buy the second-largest supermarket chain, Albertsons.
• That mega-merger would have been awful for American consumers. It had faced opposition from the Biden administration's antitrust officials and several state attorneys general.
• Welp. Too bad, so sad.
• And now, The Weather: “Delete Ya” by Djo
• Rest in peace going out to a man who saved the lives of 2.4 million babies over the course of more than half a century. James Harrison, one of the world’s most prolific blood and plasma donors, has died at age 88.
• His plasma contained a rare and precious antibody called anti-D. It is used in medications to prevent haemolytic disease of the fetus and newborn (HDFN) — also known as rhesus disease — a potentially fatal disease that occurs when a pregnant person's blood is incompatible with that of their unborn baby, prompting their immune system to attack it.
• Harrison donated blood and plasma a whopping 1,173 times, every two weeks between 1954 and 2018. This man never missed a single appointment and expected nothing in return.
• Hero.
• Another RIP going out to Carl Dean, Dolly Parton's devoted husband of nearly 60 years who died yesterday. He was 82.
• Carl was the guy who inspired Dolly’s timeless hit “Jolene.”
• Let’s do a chart.
• It’s 45 years ago, in March 1981. I’m in seventh grade at Margate Intermediate School. Here’s the top of the Billboard Hot 100.
• 1. Rapture (Blondie). 2. Woman (John Lennon). 3. The Best Of Times (Styx). 4. Keep On Loving You (REO Speedwagon). 5. Crying (Don McLean). 6. Hello Again (Neil Diamond). 7. 9 To 5 (Dolly Parton). 8. Just The Two Of Us (Grover Washington, Jr. With Bill Withers). 9. Kiss On My List (Daryl Hall & John Oates). 10. What Kind Of Fool (Barbra Streisand & Barry Gibb). 11. While You See A Chance (Steve Winwood). 12. The Winner Takes It All (ABBA). 13. Don't Stand So Close To Me (The Police). 14. Morning Train (Nine To Five) (Sheena Easton). 15. I Love A Rainy Night (Eddie Rabbitt). 16. I Can't Stand It (Eric Clapton And His Band). 17. Celebration (Kool & The Gang). 18. Angel Of The Morning (Juice Newton). 19. Hearts On Fire (Randy Meisner). 20. A Little In Love (Cliff Richard).
• From the Sports Desk… I begrudgingly do some collegiate sports this time of year, but only because there’s nothing better to cover.
• In NCAA Women’s basketball, USC has its best ranking in 39 years after moving up to No. 2 in AP's Top 25 women's basketball poll yesterday.
• The Trojans won the Big Ten regular-season title over the weekend, beating then-No. 2 UCLA for the second time this year. That victory vaulted USC up two spots for its highest appearance in the poll since the team was second on Jan. 5, 1986.
• Keep it up, Trojan ladies.
• I should note that Texas remained in the top spot. The Longhorns beat Georgia, Mississippi State and Florida last week to wrap up a share of the SEC title with South Carolina.
• Today in history… Christopher Columbus arrives back in Lisbon, Portugal, aboard his ship Niña from his voyage to what are now The Bahamas and other islands in the Caribbean (1493). Hernán Cortés arrives in Mexico in search of the Aztec civilization and its wealth (1519). The Massachusetts Bay Colony is granted a Royal charter (1628). The Continental Army fortifies Dorchester Heights with cannon, leading the British troops to abandon the Siege of Boston (1776). In New York City, the first Congress of the United States meets, putting the United States Constitution into effect (1789). Vermont is admitted to the United States as the fourteenth state (1791). The 11th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution is passed by the U.S. Congress (1794). John Adams is inaugurated as the 2nd President of the United States of America, becoming the first President to begin his presidency on March 4 (1797). The city of Chicago is incorporated (1837). The United States Department of Labor is formed (1913). Jeannette Rankin of Montana becomes the first female member of the United States House of Representatives (1917). Franklin D. Roosevelt becomes the 32nd President of the United States, becoming the last president to be inaugurated on March 4 (1933). The USAAF begins a daylight bombing campaign of Berlin (1944). In an interview in the London Evening Standard, The Beatles' John Lennon declares that the band is "more popular than Jesus now” (1966). The Food and Drug Administration approves a blood test for HIV infection, used since then for screening all blood donations in the United States (1985). The Supreme Court of the United States rules that federal laws banning on-the-job sexual harassment also apply when both parties are the same sex (1998). 
• March 4 is the birthday of French queen Blanche of Castile (1188), violinist/composer Antonio Vivaldi (1678), painter William Payne (1760), football player/coach Knute Rockne (1888), businessman Richard DeVos (1926), actress Paula Prentiss (1938), singer-songwriter Bobby Womack (1944), singer-songwriter/guitarist Chris Rea (1951), actress Catherine O’Hara (1954), politician Tina Smith (1958), boxer Ray Mancini (1961), bass player Jason Newsted (1963), writer/musician/actor Chaz Bono (1969), NBA player Draymond Green (1990), and model/socialite Brooklyn Beckham (1999).

That was indeed a lot of news. But now you know things that, perhaps, you didn’t before, and I’m glad that you do. I like living in a well-informed world. Enjoy your day.